Not What They Were Expecting (33 page)

Getting dressed and undressed was not one of the easiest tasks at this stage. To make it worse, she realised as she got back into the gown in her delivery room, she was going to have to get out of it again when James arrived with her own stuff. She might have grumbled about it more, except she was distracted by another midwife, standing by with her pessary. She got into bed, and smiled politely at the ceiling as the latest person to have access all areas today did their job. Come one, come all, she thought.

‘There you go, dear,’ said the midwife, ‘if you lie on your side for the next while, that should start to kick in soon. We’ll be in to check but you know where we are if you need us. Do you have a birthing partner coming in?’

‘Hi,’ said James, as he appeared at the door.

‘Lovely. I’ll leave you to it.’

‘How’s it going? You OK?’ James asked as they were left alone.

‘They’ve lit the fuse apparently. Just waiting for take-off.’

‘Right.’

‘Where are the kids?’

‘Kam came in for them. Wasn’t best pleased with me. But he said to send his love.’

‘OK.’

The couple looked at each other uncertainly, unsure how to react. They were technically separated, but these weren’t exactly the right circumstances to continue their row where they last left off. Finally, James broke the deadlock.

‘Becs, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.’

‘Do you know how hard it is for me to believe anything now?’

‘I know, but it was one stupid thing that snowballed. I’d do anything to take it back.’

‘Years you kept this from me. Years! And then there’s the way you were in cahoots with Dad. My entire pregnancy it’s been lies.’

James knew he had his reasons. And he knew that life hadn’t been as straightforward as Rebecca was painting it – especially when it came to who was keeping what quiet regarding her dad. But he knew what he wanted more than anything else was to get her back. And he knew that fundamentally, on the big things, she was right.

‘I’m sorry. I can’t say any more. I’m sorry. I want us to be a couple again. And in a few of hours I want us to be a family. Because I love you more than anything. Anything except that Bompalomp.’

He looked at his wife as earnestly as he could, trying to communicate how much he felt. She closed her eyes, her head tilted back. He walked across the room and kissed her softly on the mouth.

She winced. He jumped back.

‘Sorry,’ he blurted.

‘That, I think, was a contraction.’

‘Do we need to call somebody?’ James asked, his hands jittering. ‘Do something?’

‘Steady on now. Steady. Remember the classes, we’ve a while to go yet.’

James fumbled in his pockets for his phone.

‘I’ll time it till the next one.’

Rebecca watched her husband slide his finger across his phone screen. He looked so eager, so involved, standing there with his timer, it was hard not to soften entirely.

‘Why couldn’t you have told me about the conviction?’ Rebecca asked sadly.

‘It was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. Until Ben…’

‘But I’m your wife.’

‘I know. And that…that is exactly why I’m so sorry. We should be a team.’

Rebecca smiled while looking at the heart rate monitor.

‘You used to say that when you wanted us to have communal showers.’

‘I couldn’t believe you threw me out of the house,’ he said, with a small smile in return.

‘Neither could I,’ she said, before raising a challenging eyebrow. ‘I also can’t believe you made such little effort to get back.’

Slowly, but steadily, they were moving back together in the best way they knew how.

‘Harassing a heavily pregnant woman didn’t sound such a great idea.’

‘But what about doing all you could to win back your wife?’

‘That’s only supposed to go as far as acts that would encourage a restraining order.’

‘You haven’t even realised I changed the locks in case you tried to get back in.’

‘Not a problem. I’d have just used a small child to break in for me.’

‘I really did, you know. I changed them.’

‘Really?’ said James, surprised out of measured nonchalance.

‘First morning after you left. Getting ready for my new life just with Bomp.’

‘Pff,’ James exhaled as he slumped back in an armchair by the bed.

‘You really were going for this,’ he said with a shake of his head.

‘What do you mean “were”?’

They locked eyes again. This time there was no overly strained attempts at mind reading, and no eyes shut. They just sort of giggled a bit.

Then Rebecca winced.

‘You OK?’

‘Another contraction I think.’

James slipped out his phone and flicked the lap button on his stopwatch.

‘Hey. If you’d changed the locks, how did you expect me to get your overnight bag?’

‘I’d forgotten. But hey, why didn’t you go and get it like I asked?’ said Rebecca, a touch of grumpiness returning.

‘Would’ve been a bit pointless wouldn’t it?’

‘But I need it and you haven’t even tried.’

‘But I couldn’t have got in!’

‘But you should have discovered that hours ago.’

‘I could have done,’ said James snappishly, ‘but I’d made arrangements.’

‘What do you mean, arrangements?’

There was a noise outside. Somebody making a trumpet call with their mouth. Then a voice.

‘Found it, dear, this is the room. We’re coming in, I hope you’re decent.

Rebecca turned to James.

‘Mum and Dad?’

‘I thought I’d best let all the grandparents know…’

Chapter 45

Howard and Penny filled the room, Howard brandishing an old-fashioned, very mumsy, overnight bag, and Penny sweeping across to hug her daughter.

Of course Howard would come, James realised. He’d contacted Penny, but he supposed it made sense she’d tell her husband. Some couples still did that.

After his bravura entrance, Howard was hanging back, next to James. Looking across James felt a bit like they were two naughty schoolkids waiting at the headmistress’s office.

‘I’ve brought clothes for you and the baby, dear. We tried to get in, but our key wouldn’t work, so I flew around Mothercare while your father Googled what to bring into hospital these days.’

‘Got a bit of a shock when I accidentally clicked on the Images tab I can tell you.’

‘I picked up some make-up and a hairdryer too, in case you need them for visitors.’

‘Got to look right for the photos, but keep ’em away from the business end!’

‘How are you?’’ asked Penny.

‘I’m in labour, and not supposed to be getting stressed.’

‘Blighter’ll be keeping you stressed for the next twenty years.’

Penny turned to her hyped-up and nervous husband, and gave him a steely-eyed look.

‘You’re right,’ she said to her daughter. ‘Absolutely right. James, Howard, I think you need to wait outside while I help my daughter get ready.’

It was a decisive side of Penny James had only really seen when he’d once tried to help out in the kitchen.

‘That’s it!’ said Howard. ‘The men will be outside getting ready for our cigars.’

Howard didn’t move far though. He seemed caught in a loop, taking a step towards his daughter, then pulling back. Blocked by an invisible barrier between them. Rebecca couldn’t watch him. Then with a determined skip he sprang forward, kissed her on the head.

‘Good luck. Becky,’ he whispered.

Rebecca looked down, her chin pressed into her chest.

She could hear him and James head into the corridor, and he was his usual self.

‘Exciting times eh? Daddy time soon! Should’ve picked up a hipflask!’

Penny checked he door was shut firmly.

‘What’s he doing here, Mum?’

‘What do you think? He wanted to be here. So did I. I was glad James told us.’

Rebecca grunted.

‘Been a while since we heard from you, dear. You haven’t returned calls or texts.’

‘Yes, well. Dad told you what happened at the funeral?’

‘That you weren’t willing to speak at his trial? Yes. I can understand, would be a bit nerve-wracking. I couldn’t speak in front of all those people.’

Penny unwrapped and smoothed out a new nightdress, and put the plastic tags in the bin.

‘I’m a lawyer, Mum. You know it wasn’t stage fright, right?’

Her mum paused in her fussing around.

‘Yes.’

‘He told you my reasons?’

‘He said the timeframe of when you talked might have got a bit blurry.’

‘And?’

‘And he did say that maybe there’d been some other mix-ups in his past, but he was over all that now.’

‘And yet he’s still insisting on this ridiculous campaign?’

‘Well, that was one of the things we’ve been wanting to tell you. He’s agreed to negotiate with the police. He wants it to end.’

‘He’s pleading guilty?’

‘I don’t think that’s quite right yet. But he’s willing to see if he can meet them halfway. He doesn’t want to do anything to disrupt life for you and his grandchild.’

‘Right. And what about you?’

‘I can look after little old me,’ Penny said with a sad smile.

‘But what he’s been doing to you?’

‘We all make mistakes, darling.’

‘Is that how you see it? A mistake? You know he’s gay, right?’

‘It’s a bit more complicated than that.’

‘Yes, he’s a cheater too. How can you stand to live with him?’

‘I would’ve thought you’d be more tolerant’

‘But… This isn’t a matter of tolerance. I don’t know how you can’t see that!’

‘A marriage is more complicated than you see it when you’re a teenager. I thought you’d know that by now.’

‘James lied to me. I threw him out.’

‘You did what?’

‘We separated.’

‘Why didn’t you say? I could have helped. You could have come home.’

Rebecca breathed heavily at the thought.

‘Right. Me and Dad back under the same roof. That would have been lovely. And anyway, it’s on the mend now. We’re dealing with it. That’s what happens when you don’t ignore things.’

For the first time Penny’s voice had a sharp edge of anger to it.

‘I hope you manage to have a life where you’re always able to be so sure of things.’

Rebecca twinged with guilt. Penny was right. But she was tired, and fed up arguing in a hospital bed. And she didn’t know how much longer she was going to be here.

‘I’m sorr—’

Rebecca’s apology was interrupted by another contraction. It was almost welcome.

As it passed, Maureen came in and started examining the monitors attached to her belly.

‘How are we doing in here? Contractions coming along?’ she asked with just a quick nod to Penny.

‘Not too bad, actually,’ said Rebecca cheerfully. ‘Not as painful as I thought so far.’

‘You’re not feeling any significant pain?’

‘So far, so good.’

Rebecca was a little taken aback that her fairly manageable progress so far wasn’t being greeted with the enthusiasm she was hoping for.

There were more checks. More prods.

Maureen had become more serious.

‘I’ll be back in one quick minute.’

Penny was the first to speak once the midwife left.

‘It’s fine, dear. Just they’re busy with the job. Concentrating.’

‘Yeah,’ said Rebecca, ‘yeah. Busy. They were saying there’s a lot of mums-to-be in today.’

‘I’ll go and get James for you.’

‘Mum,’ said Rebecca as Penny stood up, ‘I’m sorry. And I’m glad that Dad’s sorting things out. For you especially. But you need to sort things out too. This can’t be the end of it.’

‘We’ll talk about this later, dear.’

She leaned over and gave her a kiss, whispering ‘we’re very proud of you, you know’, then headed out the door.

Soon after, the doctor from the ward arrived, with James following behind. The checks continued quietly as James stood by his wife’s side.

‘They’re taking a little longer to come out than we might expect,’ the doctor told them. ‘You’ve obviously made them very comfortable in there. We just need to keep a closer eye on baby to make sure there’s no distress. We’ve got the heart monitor here. You can see it bumping away, and hear it, obviously,’ she said turning the volume knob up.

‘Now the baby’s in a tight space there, and you’d expect the beat to go up and down a little bit, but we need you to keep a watch, and let us know if it starts to drop much. Anything below 110 and give us a bell and we’ll come and check. But it’s nothing to worry about.’

Then she was gone, leaving the door open this time.

The couple squeezed each other’s hands tightly.

‘You OK?’ James asked.

Rebecca grimaced.

‘You’re really going to have to stop asking that.’

‘Another contraction?’

‘Yes. But you’re being fucking annoying too.’

‘Right.’

They were quiet for a bit. Neither wanted to ask about the significance of what the doctor had said. But they reassured each other that things were going to be OK.

Slowly, things seemed to get back on track. The contractions were well-spaced, and Bomp’s heart seemed steady. They were able to talk again, cautiously at first, worried about missing anything as they watched the trail of beats. Rebecca told James about her talk with Penny. How the trial was going away, but there was still a hell of a mess to clean up.

They even began discussing names again. For months they’d been debating, with shortlists, but no consensus. They weren’t getting much further now, but the distraction was welcome for a while. Then when she saw she wasn’t making much headway, Rebecca decided to change the subject.

‘I wonder what time Bomp will be born,’ she said.

‘You think we should have a sweepstake?’

It was about six-thirty in the evening.

‘I’m guessing nine-twenty-five,’ said Rebecca.

‘Four in the morning,’ said James.

‘What are you, some sort of sadist? How long do you want me to be in pain for?’

‘I thought you said it wasn’t too bad so far?’

‘Oh it’s fine. Come here and let me dig my nails into your balls every twenty minutes.’

James smoothed Rebecca’s hair, smiling.