North (38 page)

Read North Online

Authors: LOUIS-FERDINAND CÉLINE

Tags: #Autobiographical fiction, #War Stories, #Historical Fiction, #Historical, #Biographical, #World War, #1939-1945, #1939-1945 - Fiction, #Fiction, #Literary, #Adventure stories, #War & Military, #General, #Picaresque literature

BOOK: North
6.23Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

So tomorrow well go to Moorsburg, all settled . . . but where are we going now? . . . back to the carriage? . . . maybe she's going to show me some underground refuge . . . the way whats-isname had to show me what was left of the airfield . . . Inge didn't seem to be armed . . . which didn't tell me what was behind the trees or the next hummock . . . I'd seen worse in Grünwald . . . the underbrush is a setup . . . who fired? . . . you never find out! . . . actually nothing had happened . . . we're on our way back to the original coppice . . . to Lili and the countess . . . and Le Vig . . . they'd been waiting awhile, but they hadn't been bored . . . the countess had made them taste the
petits fours
. . . they'd carefully spat them out again . . . with her it was easy, she didn't look . . . Bébert had himself a mess of fish out of the lake . . . they'd listened to the old bag, same conversation with a few variations, the moving sidewalk, Bullier's dance hall, the banks of the Marne . . . oh, they'd listened politely and answered politely . . . but mighty glad to see me back! . . . what had we been doing out there in the woods? . . . nothing at all!
yah! yah!
. . . never say anything about anything to anybody . . . Time to drive on . . . giddyap horsie! all aboard, ladies and gentlemen! . . . we pile in . . . a grandiose avenue! as wide as the Champs-Elysées . . . bigger and bigger sequoias . . .

"All this belongs to you?"

Hell, I've got a right to ask . . .

"Oh yes! and it goes much farther!"

I can see they're really rich . . . my curiosity amuses her . . . I'll amuse her some more . . .

"Madame, let me tell you something . . . I got myself into this damnable fix, and not just myself but my wife and my friend too, with my boundless curiosity! . . . not through ambition or self-interest! . . . that's why you see us here, wanted by every conceivable police force, lamp post and wolf pack . . . for poking my nose into things that were none of my business! . . ."

Inge was no dope . . . I hadn't told her anything new . . .

"In that case, Doctor, indulge your curiosity! ask me anything you like! I'll tell you . . . don't be afraid . . . we never know how to please you . . . the least we can do is tell you what's none of your business!"

"Exacdy, Madame!. . . I admit it!"

"All right . . . first the sawmill . . . on the lakeshore . . . I'll show you . . . sixty workers . . . all convicts . . . three of them are murderers . . . rejected by the army . . . as unworthy . . . the
bibels
have the Bible! . . . these are real criminals, nothing like the 'objectors' . . . you'll see them . . . the lake belongs to us too . . . it's pretty big, twelve miles to Moorsburg . . . you'll see the little boats . . . the boats belong to my father-in-law . . . they're old, like him . . . well need new ones . . . we have another sawmill a little farther on . . . we won't go there today . . . will that do? . . . precise enough?"

"Yes, Madame . . ."

But wouldn't Countess Thor von Thérfels like to say something? . . . no! she's sulking . . . her daughter notices if . . .

"But Mother, you've got much bigger lakes!"

"I should think so!"

"And ten times more woods!"

"Definitely, Inge! Definitely!"

No more . . . the charabanc stops, here we are! I'd thought we'd never make it . . . I know the forests of the tropics, everybody knows them now, everybody travels, you can't get à rise out of anybody . . . time was when a pith helmet turned the trick . . . Brazza couldn't hold a candle to you! . . . nowadays the falls of the Congo are good for a weekend at the most . . . in those days you felt you were imprisoned forever in the damp shade, a welter of lianas, roots, and snake ponds . . . up there it was different, the shade was dry . . . and yellow . . . that carpet of needles . . . all in all, this forest was too beautiful, too sumptuous . . . same with the lake, too limpid, too blue . . . it's all so poetic, symphonic, profound, so horribly German . . . that you'll never get away from it either! . . . I'm not saying you'll ever go there! . . . either to the Congo or Prussia! . . . the advantage of this great carpet of sequoia needles was that it absorbed the sound, you couldn't hear the bacchanalia of bombs on Berlin . . . the surface of the lake shuddered a bit . . . the banks . . . the rushes vibrated . . . vibrated . . .

"Doctor, all this belongs to us . . . those loggers too! . . . you see them?"

I saw them all right! . . . those convicts weren't sawing . . . they were pushing enormous tree trunks, rolling them down to the water . . . others down below were tying the trunks together . . . I got it . . . as a kid I was crazy about lumber rafts . . . I watched them from the locks at Ablon as far as the Pont-au-Change . . . the watermen were always within an inch of going overboard . . . strength and judgment . . . it seems they came from Morvan . . . where were (hey going? I never found out . . . these characters didn't look much like watermen . . . I've hung around the sand quarries, I know the work . . . Inge sees what I'm thinking . . .

"You think they'll get there?"

"Where?"

"Moorsburg! . . ."

"They may . . . not so sure . . ."

"There'll be others . . ."

That makes them both laugh . . . the daughter and the mother . . . who'd been sulking . . . my sharp answer! . . . but what about the
Revizor?
and the beadle? . . . and the pastor? this might be the time to find out! . . . Inge asks one of the convicts . . . graying hair . . . no . . . he doesn't know . . . they haven't seen a thing . . . you can't get anything out of these people . . . we don't tell them "good-bye" or "good luck" . . . myself later on in jail, I only wanted one thing: to be left alone . . . I could understand that feeling . . . Leon Bloy on his deathbed demanded the Holy Ghost or the Cossacks! . . . I know a damn sight more about it than he did . . . and I demand "the superbomb and the Chinese!" I'm joking . . . no joking on that forest road . . . we joggled and jolted from hole to hole for another hour or two . . . all four axles squeaked something awful . . . oils and fats were the nightmare of that war . . . axles, pistons, bearings! . . . burned out, cracked, melted! . . . in the air, under the sea . . . this carriage of ours, the springs and axles were fed up . . . they were bellowing . . . well, sort of a soft bellow . . .

After a while the trees aren't so tall . . . no more sequoias, pines . . . suddenly, I hadn't been expecting it, Inge orders:
Halt!
. . . the driver stops . . . "come with me!" . . . she's got something to tell me . . . "just you!"

"I want to show you our châlet!"

What's the sense in that?

"You'll see! come with me! . . . you, stay there! . . . Madame and Monsieur Le Vigan!"

Another caper! . . . I get out of the carriage . . . she leads me down a path! .. .another path! . . . she's got a thing about paths!. . .. this one leads between pine trees . . . what's this going to be? . . . say, not badl. . . a large cottage, all of wood, spic-and-span, scrubbed and polished, cleaner than their farm . . . she goes ahead . . .

"Come along!"

We go in . . . really luxurious, much better than the farm . . . wall-to-wall carpeting, leather cushions, enormous divans, and enormous shelves fall of bottles! . . .

"Raus!
get out!"

A brutal command! . . . to somebody . . . who . . . I don't see a soul . . . but I hear somebody making tracks . . . servants in the other room?

"I don't want to see them! . . . they'll come back when I've gone! they always come back!"

Polish women, I think . . . now she turns to me . . .

"Doctors! Doctor! forgive me! will you ask Mathias . . ."

"Mathias?"

I've forgotten . . .

"You know, in Moorsburg . . . the druggist . . . remember?"

"Oh yes! oh yes! whatever you say, Madame! the
Apotheke!"

Still another drug?

"I'd forgotten! . . . those little paper napkins . . . for ladies . . . you know . . . menstrual . . ."

"Oh yes, Madame!"

"Here we call them
'Kamelia'
with a k . . . you've got the same thing in France, but with a
c
. . . three packages, if he has them . . . if he says he hasn't, you say: 'Oh yes, you do!' He's got them . . . he's saving them for someone else . . . and my lipstick . . . and my powder . . . he knows what kind . . . and if he says no . . . really no . . . tell him I'll send Kracht . . . he'll hand them over! . . . got it straight? Mathias Hase . . . right by the statue . . ."

"Certainly, Madame, first thing tomorrow!"

"Then let's get back to the carriage . . . don't you want to kiss me?"

"Yes, of course, Madame!"

I kiss her . . . she kisses me . . . and put we go . . . good friends . . . we haven't been long . . . they haven't stirred from the carriage . . . they haven't done anything and haven't seen anything . . . I ask them . . . neither the
Revizor
nor Hjalmar nor the pastor . . . Lili has seen an animal over there . . . close to the edge of the pine woods . . . she points . . . yes! . . . she's right . . . we all look . . . a fox, looking back at us . . . getting along on three legs, as best he can . . . escaped from a trap . . . Inge explains . . . traps all over because hunting's prohibited . . . without traps there wouldn't be a single duck, goose, or chicken left. . . devastation! . . . not just here, all over Germany . . .

"Now you know . . ."

"Certainly, Madame!"

The fox makes for the woods . . . we watch him limping away . . . we're going in the other direction . . . the road isn't so bumpy now . . . the wheels aren't making so much noise . . . here she goes! as soon as the axles pipe down, Countess Thor starts up . . . I'm expecting the Elysée! . . . no, not at all! . . . this time it's Brandenburg . . . but not of today, of long ago when she was young . . . the customs, the marriages of the noble families . . . this one and that one, his rank and functions . . . and the scene, the garrisons, the artillery of the Guard, the school of gunnery, the firing range . . . the countess knew Brandenburg like a book, not just her native Pomerania! . . . I listened . . . I listened . . . but not very closely . . . she was on my left side, I couldn't hear very well . . . I was dunking about Moorsburg . . . the
Apotheke
by the statue . . . should I go? . . . or not? . . . Mathias Hase? . . . better think it over . . . what with joggling and jolting we finally got there . . . the park . . . the
bibelforschers'
isba . . . our peristyle Kracht can't be far off, herehe is! . . .
"bonjour!
heil!
pleasant ride?". . . mostly very glad to be back . . . it could have ended worse . . . twenty years later I still think so, it could have ended worse . . . I didn't say anything . . . I thought about it all night . . . but I didn't say anything . . . either to Lili . . . or Le Vig . . .

We weren't very keen on that trek to Moorsburg, four miles on foot . . . but as long as I'd promised . . . I'd go see this
Apotheke!
. . . the drugs? well, certainly not the first time . . . curare . . . cyanide . . . Dolosal . . . we'd see about that later . . . but the lipstick, powder, and
"Kamelia" 
. . . okay . . . I'd get them right away . . . before I asked for anything else I'd better get acquainted with this Mathias Hase . . . right by the statue . . . getting to Moorsburg was simple, straight across the plain, you couldn't go wrong! . . . follow the milestones . . . anyway we'd see it in the distance, we knew what it looked like . . . better start early, about five, nobody to see us off . . . Iago lets Le Vig by . . . we meet in the peristyle and off we go! one . . .two! one . . . two! . . . slowly . . . especially me with my limp . . . very quiet all around . . . the gypsy wagon . . . the isbas . . . nothing stirring . . . not even the geese! . . . we're doing all right . . . slow but sure . . . Bébert curled up in his bag, he's used to it . . . cats don't think much of the crazy things we do, but when they know it can't be helped they lie still, they roll up . . . Coming on . . . one two! . . . one two! . . . daybreak . . . the sky's black already . . . black and yellow . . . even before dawn! . . . smut . . . Christ, is he tedious, you'll say! . . . he can't stop! . . . those squadrons in the air couldn't stop either, dropping their horrors on horrible Berlin! . . . their stinking hardware! . . . not only Fortresses . . . Mosquitos . . . Marauders . . . all kinds!

If he didn't have his three dots . . . what he calls his style, take it away! he'd be read a little more! . . . since Journey he's been unreadable! . . .
Journey
. . . well, in a pinch! but now he's so befuddled . . . and looks it . . . he's not even presentable on television . . . Monsieur Petzareff has just canceled an 'interview' with him . . . that proves it! . . . in the nick of time!. . . it would have been a disaster!. . . France lost again! . . . Juanovici is in jail, but Petzareff has his eye peeled, he doesn't miss a move of„the anti-everythings! . . . and he never even graduated from school! the 'Honors and Profits' battalion . . ."

Charming words, I grant you . . . still quite a way to go . . . a few people . . . out there . . . all those yellow and gray fields stretching out to the Urals . . . a few people . . . not too far away . . . no use asking them what they're doing . . . they're working . . . on some kind of buildings, I think . . . bricks and tiles . . . I'd better watch my step . . . no good losing you on the road to Moorsburg . . . All of a sudden two men jump out of a ditch on one side . . . two men about as ragged as we are . . . sacking, rags, and strings . . . they talk to us in French . . .

"Where you going?"

"Moorsburg!"

"Oh, you're the 'collabos'?"

I see the news has got around . . . and pretty far from the manor . . . 

"We're prisoners!"

An important distinction! I ask them how they're doing . . . oh, not so bad . . . their boss is a farmer . . . sheep and poultry . . . he's gone off to the Eastern Front . . . they run the farm . . . the farmer's wife sleeps the whole time . . . there's nothing to do on the farm . . . practically all the animals are dead . . . two epizootic epidemics in a row . . .

There'd be nothing to eat if wie didn't . . ."

They loot for themselves and the farmer's wife . . .

"We've got everything we need . . . but we better not get caught!"

No doubt about that!

"If they catch us,
ping! 
. . . you'll be shot too, but not for the same reasons!"

It's too funny! . . . we're in stitches!

"Going to eat at the
Landrat'
s?"

"No, we haven't been invited!"

"You know him?"

"A little . . ."

"Well, give him our best wishes!"

Okay . . . we start off again . . . only a few steps when somebody shouts
halt! halt!
somebody in the ditch . . . on the other side of the road . . . a German cop . . . he motions us to come over . . .
papier!
. . . here . . . I show him my
Erlaubnis
. . .
gut! . . . gut!
he sees we're not tramps . . . he asks me where we're going, the three of us so early in the morning . . . very friendly . . . to see the druggist Mathias Hase!
gut! . . . gut!
. . . perfectly natural . . . while we're at it, I ask him if he hasn't seen the pastor . . . or the beadle . . . or the
Revizor?
no! but he's been looking for them too . . . if we hear anything, would we please let him know . . . a message at the pdst office . . . in his name . . . Gendarme Hans . . . sure thing! . . . he can count on us! . . . we're pals . . . time to shove off . . . how many miles? . . . two more . . . we can't claim to be going very fast, but well get there . . . there's Moorsburg up ahead . . . the church . . . we sit down in die grass . . . Bébert's business . . . he knows it's, no time for monkeyshines, that he's got to behave . . . he comes right back and gets into his bag . . . off again . . . the first houses . . . it's not eight yet . . . the people are up . . . they watch us pass . . . I wouldn't say hostile, just surprised . . . ah, I remember the place now . . . this one-horse town with five six Place Vendômes . . . at least as big! . . . where Frederick drilled his troopers . . . the
Apotheke?
. . . let's see . . . it's not this square . . . no statue of Fontane . . . ah, here we are! . . . this is the one! . . . and the druggist . . . the name we're looking for: Mathias Hase . . . fine! . . . I walk in . . . the kids have spotted us already . . . they collect on the sidewalk across the street . . . it's going to be like Berlin . . . the
Hitlerjugend
in the subway . . . here's the druggist . . . he apologizes, he doesn't speak French . . . white smock, little goatee . . . very polite . . . I introduce Lili, Le Vig, and Bébert . . . he offers us a little pick-me-up . . . who does ha take us for? . . . "no, thank you!" . . . not even a glass of water! . . . he asks us if everything's all right in Zornhof ? . . . if we're pleased with the von Leidens . . .

"Delighted, my dear
Apotheke!
perfect hosts!"

But the villagers . . . don't we find them rather crude?

"Oh, certainly not! charming! and so refined! so touchingly attentive!"

I can see this Mathias is fishing . . . he thinks he'll get a gripe out of me . . . he can keep on trying . . .

I look him over . . . about my age, no youngster . . . we've made enough conversation, I'll show him my "permit" . . . no! . . . no! he takes offense! he knows all about it! . . . he's been expecting us! . . . he's got a tic . . . after every sentence a twitching . . . painful like . . . at the corners of his mouth:
mgü! mgü!
. . . and then right away a smile . . .

"Can I help you, Doctor? . . . whatever you wish . . . just ask for it!"

Hell, I won't ask him for anything at all! . . . oh yes! lipstick, face powder, and three packages of
"Kamelia"
. . .

"For Countess von Leiden?" 

"Of course!"

"Nothingelse, Doctor?"

"Danke! . . . danke!
. . . thank you!"

Obliging little goatee, no dice! . . . absolutely nothing else! . . .
Kamelia
, lipstick, face powder . . .

"Monsieur l'Apotheke,
well be back, a little stroll around town, but now tell me . . ."

I ask him what I owe him . . .

"Later! . . . later, as long as you're coming back! Plenty of time! . . . visit our city! . . . you can't get lost, all the streets lead back here . . . to the statue! . . . you've heard about it! . . . the statue of Fontane! . . . Fontane, you know the name? . . . it's French and German! . . . Huguenot! . . . you know his story?"

I see he wants to tell it . . . in these situations it's best to sit down and not look bored . . . to tell the truth, I was born so curious I'd climb the Eiffel Tower with my two canes to find out some bit of foolishness . . . he knows plenty about Fontane, the von Leidens' favorite writer . . . it was worth the delay, anyway maybe our food cards had expired . . . and us so short on
lebewurst!
. . . or maybe they were for some other month . . . at certain times anything you do will get you into trouble . . . it's better to sit tight . . . so why not Fontane? . . . he came from right around here, one of these houses . . . we should read
Wanderings in Brandenburg
, his masterpiece . . . okay! Hase knew his life, every detail . . . quite a character! . . . this Fontane was in France during the war of 1870 . . . crazy idea! . . . and better still! . . . the "Fifis" of Domrémy had caught him visiting the house of Jeanne d'Arc! . . . the "Resistance" of the day . . . a tourist during the "Terrible Year"! . . . and that wasn't the end of it! . . . they accused him of being a traitor and a renegade, damn near shot him . . . but Providence knows its business, he was pardoned by Gambetta in person and set free . . . he came back here to end his days, madder than a hornet . . . up there on his pedestal in a frock coat he didn't show it . . . but thanks to Hase we know . . .

Thank you, Monsieur
l'Apptheke!
now we're going to see if they'll honor our coupons! you know. . .
leberwurst!
. . . we'll be back in a moment . . ."

And we leave him . . . two streets . . . a big square . . . Le Vig asks me . . ."do you think he recognized me?" . . . "No! no!" ah, there's a delicatessen . . . the storekeeper studies our coupons very solemnly . . .
"franzosen? franzosen?"
. . . he knows! . . . he doesn't want our coupons! . . . but glad to wait on us! . . . sausage? . . . salami? . . . 
leberwurst?
. . . we take it while the taking's good! . . . he doesn't want our marks! . . . certainly not! . . . everything for free? . . . fine! . . . you can't make us mad . . .

"Do you think this one recognized me?"

"Oh yes! I'm sure!"

Le Vig smiles . . . a low bow! . . . from the stage! . . . to the whole shop! . . . the storekeeper, his wife, his assistants! . . . they look at him, to see if he means them . . . yes! . . . well? he waits . . . bent double . . . his hat touching the floor . . . they applaud . . . he leaves the shop bowing some more . . . touched! flattered! . . . we do the same . . . fulsome farewells . . . but we didn't forget our package of sausage . . . on the sidewalk we straightened out . . . quick to the bakery . . . the baker doesn't want our coupons either. . . out of the question! . . . but what do we desire? . . . three big loaves of black bread . . .
"gut! gut!"
. . . or our marks! . . . he doesn't answer our
"guten tag!"
we've got what we wanted, we should blow! . . . perfect! easy habit to fall into . . . but that's not the end of it . . . the brats who'd been following us from a distance are closing in . . . more and more of them and a troop of women too, at least a hundred, all bellowing . . . every name in the book . . . scum! scavengers!
fallschirmfäger!
. . . parachutists!

Compliments!

These raging harpies have brooms, shovels, and pitchforks . . . what can they be doing? . . . mending the roads? . . . the sewers? . . . Kracht had told me not to answer them . . . or the kids either . . . all very well but we had to get by, and they had the whole sidewalk . . .
"Hitlerjugend" 
they must be, these brats . . . boys and girls . . . they'd never let us go, they had what they wanted, what they'd been after for months! . . . three! . . . three parachuted saboteurs! tight fix, same as in the Berlin subway . . . we'd have been lynched if it hadn't been for Picpus! . . . here there was no Picpus in sight! . . . one of these Place Vendômes . . . horrible brats! howling! aggressive! louder and worse! . . . "better hole up!" I say . . . there's a café right here,
wirtschaft
. . . let's go in! . . . I had to go bad . . . hell, we'd hardly touched the door handle . . . the kids are on top of us!

"Fallschirmjäger!
parachutists!"

It's our duffel coats! same as in Berlin, the trio of venomous saboteurs wanted by a dozen police forces! . . . in Berlin, if it hadn't been for Picpus, we'd have been cooked! chucked under the train! wonder where Picpus is now! . . . he'd, recognized Le Vig! . . . none of these snot-noses was likely to recognize the great actor! . . . Christ, they've latched on to us! . . . they're taking us along with them . . . ten . . . twenty of them! boys and girls all stepping on us . . . where to? I yelled that we lived in Zornhof! with the von Leidens! no soap! where were they taking us? . . . to the police? . . .

There on the next big square an SS-man! no mistake! it's Kracht! "hey! hey!" . . . all three of us shout! he's coming! here he is! . . . we're, half drowned, smothered under the
Hitlerjugend
. . . it hands him a laugh . . . he's wearing his SS uniform, boots and all! short shrift! . . .
weg!
. . . that does it . . . they let us go, they split! . . . all gone! . . . we straighten out our duffel coats . . . I suggest going to the café . . . right next door . . . but with him! oh, not without himl he's willing . . . we sit down and order . . . ersatz coffee . . . I ask him who these women are . . . the female road workers that called us such names . . . it seems they're Berlin prostitutes under treatment in Moorsburg, the ones that were too contagious and refused to be treated in Berlin . . . here, of course, they get their treatment, but they've got to work too . . . help at least . . . naturally they cut up . . . they insult everybody that comes along, we're not the only ones . . . pretty soon it won't be possible to keep them in town, even in the sewers . . . not enough cops! . . . they've already smashed up three stores! . . . inside and out! the whole place! . . . there's talk about sending them to the beet fields where there's nothing to smash . . . He asks me if we've seen the
Revizor
. . . or the beadle . . . no! . . . we've asked all over . . . nothing! . . . and what do I think of the
Apotheke?
Hase?

Other books

Angst by Victoria Sawyer
Inside Steve's Brain by Leander Kahney
IM01 - Carpe Noctem by Katie Salidas
People of the Wolf by Gear, Kathleen O'Neal, Gear, W. Michael
End of the World Blues by Jon Courtenay Grimwood
The Dark Rites of Cthulhu by Brian Sammons
Destructively Alluring by N. Isabelle Blanco
The Summer Queen by Elizabeth Chadwick