No Time Like Mardi Gras (13 page)

Jamie couldn’t win with those people no matter what she did.

She’d said it was ugly and public. She hadn’t been kidding. The question, though, was why she’d kept it so quiet, as though it was
her
dirty secret, not his. If anything, she came out looking pretty good in this.

Except...

She’d been arrested. And hauled in by investigators for questioning. And here was a report of her bank records being subpoenaed. Although this article didn’t outright accuse her of anything, it presented more than enough information to make people believe she was hip deep in the same legal and ethical hot water as Joey.

He had a hard time believing
that.

At the same time, though, what did he really know about her? If you’d asked him an hour ago, he would have said he knew her pretty well, but this information not only called attention to the gaping hole in his knowledge, it also cast a different light on what he
did
know about her.

She claimed embarrassment about what had happened, but no amount of embarrassment really justified the levels of avoidance Jamie attempted. Did she honestly think no one would ever find out?

Didn’t people who were wrongly accused protest their innocence loudly? Why wasn’t she telling her side of the story to anyone who might listen?

And that made him wonder what else she had to hide.

Hearing footsteps, he quickly closed out the window and looked up just as Jamie came into the room. She looked tousled and sleepy. “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I was just browsing around.”

She came to sit next to him on the couch and curled up against his arm. “Anything interesting?”

Very.
“Just the buzz on this hot new game called
Dungeons of Zhorg.
It’s supposedly awesome.”

“Sounds fascinating.” She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’d let you tell me all about it, but I’m too tired.”

“Then go back to bed. I’ll be in in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” After a quick kiss on the cheek, Jamie looked at him oddly. “Is everything all right?”

“Of course.”

He just needed to think for a little while.

* * *

A job. A real job where she got to wear nice clothes and not smell like fried stuff at the end of the day. A job where people talked about interesting things—things she’d never even considered before, like how light affected color and mood or how to modernize old buildings without destroying their charm and historical importance.

A full week under her belt and a paycheck in her hand, Jamie didn’t know whether to giggle in glee or thank her lucky stars.

So she did both.

Oh, there was a lot to learn, but she was looking forward to it. She was already thinking that maybe next year—after she’d had a chance to really get settled and save up some money—she would look into going back to school. That would delay her getting into her own place, of course, but even though she and Kelsey still hadn’t become friends in any real sense, they were getting along fine as roommates.

It wasn’t as though she was there a whole lot anyway.

It felt so good to deposit that paycheck that Jamie bought a milkshake to help fight the heat as she did some browsing through the French Market. Talk about savoring... She couldn’t remember the last time she’d not been on a diet or living Joey’s newest high-protein, low-carb, super-soy-or-something training diets. The milkshake tasted like heaven in a paper cup.

The French Market’s stalls of merchandise were hit-or-miss on quality and necessity and highly targeted toward tourists looking to pick up cheap souvenirs, overpriced “art” and low-level knockoffs of designer brands, but it was fun, nonetheless.

She was contemplating a kudzu-blossom-scented candle when something at the next table caught her eye. It was a small clay statue of an old-school computer with a guy in a superhero cape standing on it in a heroic pose. The inscription on the base read, “Alpha Geek.”

She laughed out loud.

She’d never heard of the term, but it seemed to fit Colin perfectly. At first glance, he was built more like an athlete—which, as she’d learned when she started spending the night at his place, came from disgustingly early morning runs—but he definitely had an inner geek and a brain full of sci-fi trivia. Ridiculously smart, even in a group of ridiculously smart people, yet not at all unsociable or awkward. He was certainly the alpha dog in his pack of programming wunderkinds.

She had to buy it.

Successfully haggling the price down to twelve dollars—although she would have paid fifteen—gave her another burst of self-satisfaction, and she stopped to buy a pretty gift bag and bow on her way home.

She’d never bought Colin a gift before—not even just a little cheesy one—and there seemed something rather important and portentous about that step. But they
were moving forward, so...

Vaguely wondering how long it would take her to get used to the humidity in this city, she made her way home. When her phone began to ring, she had to juggle her cup, her bags and Colin’s gift to get to it, only to realize she didn’t recognize the number. Or even the area code.

She was tempted to let it go to voice mail, but she’d given out her cell number to a lot of people this week and couldn’t be sure that the call wasn’t work related. And while it might be after six on a Friday, she didn’t want to be branded a slacker who wasn’t willing to go the extra mile when necessary—especially during her first week.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Sneaky little bastard, calling from someone else’s phone.
“Do not ‘sweetheart’ me, Joey. In fact, don’t talk to me at all.”

“Jamie, wait! Don’t hang up.”

She got the door unlocked and pushed it open with her hip. There was a slim chance this might be important, so she reined in her frustration. But only barely. “What?”

She could almost hear the charm click on, see the lazy smile. “How are you?”

“Does it really matter?”

“It does. I’m worried about you. And I miss you.”

She dropped her keys and bags onto the coffee table and sank onto the couch, very glad Kelsey wasn’t home. The headache was already starting to throb behind her eyes. “So I’ve heard.”

“Can’t we just talk about this?”

“Oh, I think we’ve talked quite enough. There’s nothing you can say that would make any difference.”

There was a long, pregnant pause. “I love you.”

Ah, hell.
“And I believe you when you say that.”

“Then why don’t you come on home?”

“Because I don’t love you anymore.” It was harsh, but she’d never said that to him before and he needed to hear it.

“That can’t be true.” It was a confident, even arrogant, statement, but Jamie knew him way too well not to hear the hurt under it.

She wasn’t going to let that stop her from saying what needed to be said, though. “And yet it is. But even if it weren’t, your definition of love isn’t acceptable to me.”

“Those other women meant nothing to me. You have to believe that.”

That grated across a nerve that she wasn’t aware she had until now. “Yet you were willing to jeopardize your relationship with me in order to sleep with them. You threw away an awful lot to have sex with women who meant nothing to you. That doesn’t make it sound any better. In fact, that makes it sound worse.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Good,” she snapped, unable to help it. “Maybe you’ll learn from this experience, grow as a person.”

“Jamie, honey, please...”

“I told you when I left that it wasn’t just the women. The drugs, the gambling, the lies...I don’t even know who you are anymore. Or even if I ever did. But you’re certainly not the man I fell in love with.” She rubbed a hand over her eyes. “God, I don’t know if that’s my fault or yours. Maybe this is who you’ve always been and I just didn’t know it. But either way, we’re over.”

Joey sighed. “I’m going to come down there.”

“It’s a free country. And New Orleans is a great place, so I’m sure you’ll have a blast.” She’d said that airily, but let her voice drop so he’d understand that she was serious now. “But if you come near me, I’ll have you slapped with a restraining order. Think your image can handle another blow like that right now?”

She heard his sharp intake of breath and had a quiet moment of victory. Joey didn’t know what to do with this Jamie. The surge of raw girl power, followed by a punch of I-am-woman-hear-me-roar was the best natural high she’d ever had—outside of sex.

“I gave you eight years, Joey, and for most of them I was really happy. But you’re making this worse. Own up to what you’ve done, be a man and take responsibility. And not just about us. Everything. And then move on and do better. Otherwise...” She sighed. “Please don’t make me regret our entire time together.”

“So you’re really ending it.” His voice was flat. “It’s over. Just like that.”

Finally. Something gets through.
“I ended it a long time ago. I’m sorry that you’re just now catching up, but I rather thought you would’ve figured that out when I tried to give you back the engagement ring and moved out.”

“That’s your ring. I want you to have it. I want you to
wear
it.”

“Not going to happen.”

“You’ve met someone down there, haven’t you? That’s what—”

“Don’t go there. You’re only embarrassing yourself now.” Wow, it truly was amazing what time could do. Three months ago—hell, probably three
weeks
ago—she’d have been pulled into his cajoling and wheedling to listen to his side again, forced to explain herself repeatedly, gotten defensive, and ended up feeling guilty and sad. Instead, she’d said her piece and made her stand. In fact, this conversation had gone on far too long already. “Joey, it’s over. Done. Don’t call me again.”

She hung up before he could say anything else.

Honestly, she felt a little bad. Joey might have hurt her, but she was past the need to hurt him in a retaliatory tit-for-tat game. Then she reminded herself how necessary that conversation had been and pushed the guilt aside.

Because that other feeling in her chest? That was
freedom.

And while it took a minute for her to process, name and accept it, there was no doubt she was finally free. She didn’t have to prove herself to anyone anymore. She didn’t have to do anything out of spite or annoyance. Or guilt.

Somehow, after ages of claiming she was going to, that she was
trying
to, the fact that she had, in fact, moved on had slipped up on her without her knowledge.

Wow. Just wow.

She wanted to celebrate. No, actually she wanted to bask in this moment of glory. Colin had a business thing tonight with Eric and the licensing people, but she didn’t want to celebrate this with him anyway. This was a personal accomplishment.

She grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass from the kitchen and went to the bathroom, where she filled the tub with hot water and scented oils, and sank into it with a sigh.

Wow.

NINE

Saturday night, Jamie
picked the restaurant and then dragged him to an art show by a group of local artists of questionable talent. When he lodged a protest, she merely shrugged. “I wanted to try something new.”

“This is certainly new. And weird.”

“Then we’ll go. Life’s too short to spend it doing weird or boring things.” She turned on a dime and headed for the gallery doors. She was nearly outside before it registered for him.

He caught up to her on the sidewalk and steered her toward the car. “Yes, I know. ‘You only live once,’ and all that.”

“Aw, you read my blog post yesterday.” She patted his arm before sliding into the passenger seat. “How sweet.”

Callie had taken back
The Ex Factor,
but Jamie continued to write one article a week for the blog, freeing up Callie to do other things. She hadn’t gained quite the same following as
The Ex Factor,
but she did speak to that twentysomething single woman trying to “find herself.” They
loved
her. “Yep. Very inspiring.” He closed the door and headed to his side, only to find her staring at him with narrowed eyes.

“Now you’re just jerking my chain.”

“Maybe a little. It was kind of over the top in its carpe diem, follow-your-dreams-and-your-heart messages, but it’s a good point. One well taken.”

“I won’t apologize for that.”

“No one said you needed to.”

“I really believe everything I wrote in there,” she insisted.

“Then can I ask when you had this epiphany?”

“Interestingly enough, I wrote that before I truly believed it. It’s actually a bit prophetic. Maybe I needed to write it and see it before I could live it.”

“Oh, good Lord, you’re not going all New Age self-help on me, are you?”

“Of course not.” She fell silent and looked out the window as he made the short drive back to his place. “But what you think
is
what you believe,” she added quietly a couple of minutes later as he unlocked his front door.

“Mmm-hmm, okay. Do you want a drink? Wine? Beer?”

“Wine.” She dropped her overnight bag onto the counter and dug through it as he poured. When he turned back around to hand her a glass, there was a small colorful bag centered on the marble island.

“What’s this?”

“A present.” She had a smile on her face, but she seemed almost shy about it, too.

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion. Just a gift. Does there need to be a special occasion to give you a present?”

“But I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s okay. And don’t get too excited and build this up before you open it. It’s not
that
great of a present.” She tilted her head as he reached for the bag. “By the way, when is your birthday?”

“September tenth.”

“Mine’s January twentieth,” she offered. “I’ll be twenty-eight.”

He knew that already. Several of the articles he’d found online had mentioned her age, and he’d found a photo of Jamie and Joey dated January 20 with a caption that Joey had taken Jamie out for a birthday dinner at a trendy restaurant in Chicago. He wasn’t going to tell her that, though. He opened the bag instead and pulled out a small statue. “Alpha geek?”

Jamie grinned from ear to ear. “Yep. Because you are totally the alpha geek. Among your peers, of course, you’re definitely the alpha dog, and, for a self-proclaimed geek, you have some strong alpha tendencies.”

It was tacky and cheap and perfect. “I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

He sat it on the counter. “I think I’ll take it to work. Let everyone know who’s the boss.”

“Okay, but be careful with it. The lady at the French Market says it’s one of a kind.”

“Yeah, well, the alpha geek is a rare breed.”

She nodded solemnly. “Very true. I can’t imagine there’s a huge population of y’all out there.” She winked at him. “I can’t say that I mind, though. I like the fact you’re unique. I’ve never met anyone quite like you before.”

“I find that hard to believe. That stereotype isn’t as accurate as you might think.”

“I never ran with the smart kids, so I wouldn’t know. In high school I pretty much stayed within a small social circle.”

“Let me guess. Cheerleaders?”

“Dance team. The cheerleaders were easy,” she said primly, sipping at her wine. “Then I went to Carolina State and joined
their
dance team, and that caused me to hang out with more athletes. I didn’t exactly branch out. Then I met Joey, and all his friends became my friends.”

It was the first time Jamie had ever talked about that part of her life. “I didn’t know you went to Carolina State. What was your major?”

“Economics, believe it or not.”

“No wonder you had such a hard time finding a job,” he teased.

“I had a hard time finding a job because I didn’t graduate. I left after my sophomore year. Never even took an upper level econ class, so I don’t actually know all that much about economics. Pretty sad, huh?”

That would have been when Joey went into the minor leagues and moved to Texas to play. Jamie had obviously gone with him. “It happens more often than you might think. People leave school for all kinds of reasons.”

“Well, I left with Joey. I was sure I’d enroll at another school and finish, but we moved around so much that it was just a nightmare. Credits wouldn’t transfer, program requirements would change between the different schools.... It was a mess. And we were struggling moneywise, so that didn’t help, especially once it got to the point where my transcripts were so full of incompletes and credit hours that didn’t apply to graduation that I lost financial aid eligibility.” She shrugged.

He topped off her glass and leaned on his elbows against the bar. “But surely once Joey moved to the major league, things got stable enough so that you could’ve gone back.”

“Yeah, but by then, it hardly seemed worth it. Or necessary.” Jamie sighed and drank deeply from her glass. Then she froze, eyes narrowing. A second later, she turned that narrowed gaze on him. “How do you know Joey played major league ball?”

Ah, damn.
“It wasn’t that hard to put together,” he hedged. “Jamie, Joey, your encyclopedic baseball knowledge...”

“But you don’t follow sports. You have no reason to be able to put that together.”

He picked up his glass and drank deeply instead of answering.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Jamie raised an eyebrow at him. “Name me one other major league pitcher.”

He couldn’t. He didn’t even try.

“Oh. My. God. You looked me up on the internet?”

He couldn’t deny it at this point. “Yes, of course. Everyone does it.”

“Stalkers, maybe. Normal people don’t.”

“If you hadn’t been all lady-of-mystery about your ex and why you moved here, I wouldn’t have had to.”

“And it never occurred to you that I might want to protect my privacy? That there was a
reason
I didn’t offer up my life story to people?”

“Privacy? For God’s sake, Jamie, you have your own Twitter hashtag.”

She flushed. It seemed she didn’t like being reminded of that. “Which is exactly why I don’t go announcing who I am to everyone I meet.” Jamie rubbed her temples. “You looked me up. I can’t believe you did that.” She was talking more to herself than him, so he stayed quiet. Her head came up slowly. “When?”

“When what?”

“When did you do it?”

He might be able to save himself once she realized he hadn’t done it until after they were already involved. “Just a week or so ago. That night you stayed over for the first time.”

“Was that what you were doing on the internet in the middle of the night? Running a background check on me? While I was sleeping in your
bed?
”

Okay, so maybe not.
“I was curious. Can you blame me? We were getting more...involved and you had this big secret. I felt I needed to know who I was getting involved with.”

“You could have
asked
me.”

“Would you have actually answered?”

“We’ll never know, will we, because you decided to search the internet for dirt instead.”

“Not for dirt—”

“But that’s what you got. Because I know exactly what’s out there, and you’ll notice that no one ever asked me for
my
side of the story. You got the salacious tabloid version of my life.” She paused. “Wait...did you believe it? I mean, you certainly didn’t ask me about it.”

“It looks like you got mixed up in something. I’m not saying it was your fault—”

“I didn’t get mixed up in squat. The
only
thing I’m guilty of in that mess is naïveté. Everything else is fallout. I got arrested because I was with a group of people who were doing wrong, but
I
was ignorant of that until the cops showed up. Those charges were dropped, by the way, not that
that
information made the blogs,” she grumbled. “My life was ripped apart and examined under a microscope because no one was willing to believe that I was stupid enough not to know what was going on around me. I don’t know which is worse—the fact that I was falsely accused or that I really
was
too stupid to know.”

“Well—”

She cut him off. She was pacing and probably didn’t even realize he’d tried to say anything. “I defended Joey because I believed in him. And I believed in him because I loved him. That just makes me look like a fool. So no, it’s not a part of my life I’m super proud of at the moment, and therefore I don’t randomly drop it into idle conversation. I’m not a woman of mystery. I’m just a girl who got screwed and didn’t want to brag about her shame.” Her cheeks were red and a vein throbbed in her neck.

“I think you’re overreacting.”

“And I don’t think you get to tell me how I should or should not feel about anything,” she snapped.

“Well, how was I supposed to feel? When we first met, you disappeared without a trace. The second time we met, you completely blew me off. Then all of a sudden, you’re all over me. What brought about
that
change?”

“I got to know you better? Decided you were someone I wanted to spend time with?”

“Only after you found out who I was.”

She paused in her pacing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You only changed your tune when you found out I wasn’t just a bartender at the Lucky Gator.”

“Oh, so I’m some kind of gold digger to boot. Lovely.” She snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself, honey. You’ve got a nice place here and a good business and all, but it’s hardly the lifestyle I’d grown accustomed to.”

That was true. But it still stung. As though she felt she was slumming or something. “Yeah, but it beats the lifestyle you’re currently living.”

“Joey still wants me back, and if money was all I was after, I’d be with him.”

“Well, it sounds to me like you’re not really over him anyway, so maybe you should go back to him.”

“
What?
Jeez, in the movies, when the heroine gives up the good life and takes on the struggle on principle, it’s all inspirational and stuff. But if you do it in real life, you get nothing but crap and derision.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I respected what you were trying to do. It takes guts and hard work. I even told Kate that, and that was before I looked you up.”

“Kate, as in Kate Roth, my new boss?” Her voice was flat but deadly. “You talked to her about me?”

It was a good thing he only had two feet. At least he didn’t have another one to shove into his mouth. “I’ve known Kate since high school. So yeah, I did. Only good things, though. It’s not like I ratted you out or anything. I emailed her before I even knew who you were. Hell, Kate would have researched you as soon as she had your résumé. She probably knew more about you than I did at the time. I just put in a good word, that’s all.”

That didn’t help. If anything, Jamie’s lips pressed tighter together with each word he spoke. She finally managed to pry them apart, and her tone would have cut glass. “A good word. Exactly
when
did you put in this good word with Kate?”

There was no sense hedging this time. “I emailed her when you told me you had the second interview. I figured it might help put you in the lead for the job.”

“I can
not
believe you.”

“What? It worked, didn’t it? You got the job you wanted. Why are you so mad?”

“Because I wanted to get the job by myself. Not as a favor to someone. I wanted to be hired on my own merits.”

“I’m sure you were.”

“But once again, we’ll never know, will we?” She started to say something else, then threw her hands up in disgust. “My God, why am I even still here having this conversation? This is insane.” She grabbed her wrap, found her shoes and picked up her bag.

“You’re leaving?”

“Definitely. I don’t know who the hell you are. Or even who you
think
you are, but I’m out of here.”

She was completely overreacting. “I was trying to help.”

“You really can’t see the problem, can you?”

“Honestly, no.”

“This is
my
life.
I
make the rules. You don’t get to play God or meddle in things that aren’t your business. You told me once that if I wanted supreme ultimate power and control, I had to design my own game. Well, you know what? I have. And you don’t get to play anymore. Game over.”

And with that, Jamie walked out, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Fury drove her out into the street only for her to realize she didn’t have a car here at Colin’s, and she now had a long walk home.

Good.
She needed to walk it off. It wasn’t that late, the streets were lit and there were still plenty of other folks out to make her trek perfectly safe. She did pause long enough to pull a pair of flip-flops out of her bag and change her shoes. She wasn’t going to risk breaking a heel off her favorite pair of Jimmy Choos on New Orleans’ questionable sidewalks just because Colin Raine was a giant ass.

How
dare
he? It was bad enough that he’d dug up dirt on her, but he should have had the guts to come to her with what he’d found. Not that she owed anyone explanations or anything, but it took a real jerk to go looking for info he knew she wasn’t willing to share and then pretend that he didn’t know. And to contact her boss? Oh, that just steamed her. A normal person would have said he knew Kate and asked if she
wanted
a plug or not first.