No Time for Tears (38 page)

Dovid, saying little, sat down at the kitchen table and watched as Chavala put the kettle on for tea. Chia put out the sugar cubes and the lemon, then cut the sponge cake. As Dovid picked up his glass he felt the building sway ever so slightly, then heard the sound of the elevated trains roar past. He wondered how they slept, or how the building had remained standing with this constant onslaught.

Chavala kept peering over the rim of her glass at him … no doubt about it, he was real. He was also, she decided, more handsome at thirty-seven than when she had married him. But the years were etched in his face too … of course the boyishness of youth had gone, his temples were gray, but she couldn’t remember seeing the deep lines in his weather-burned face when she’d left. Were they there nine months ago, or did people fail to notice each other as the days merely went on from one to the other? No question … Dovid had aged more than he should have. And while she knew she was not the only reason, she was, face it, a part of it Well, what mattered now was that he had come, and she wouldn’t think about the time when he would have to leave …

In the double bed Chavala and Chia shared, there was precious little room for Dovid, and even less for lovemaking. Both agreed that to ask Chia to bunk with Reuven would be impossible. Still, for Chavala, just to be held by Dovid, to have him feel the heartbeat of their second child, was almost enough …

In the morning Chavala moved awkwardly about the kitchen toasting bagels, scrambling eggs with onions and smoked salmon, putting out cucumbers and scallions in sour cream and cottage cheese.

Reuven, who quickly took up a seat next to his father, announced, “I’m not going to school today.”

Chavala looked at him and smiled. “I wouldn’t say I’m surprised. And you, Chia?”

“Well, I hope you’ll excuse me, Dovid, but I have a very important test today and—”

“You go take your test, that’s more important. I’ll be here when you come home,” Dovid told her.

Moishe looked at the clock, saw it was eight o’clock. “I’m going to the store. You’ll be by later?”

“Of course,” Chavala answered as she started to remove the plates from the table.

When they arrived at the pawnshop, Dovid stopped, looked up at the sign. Somehow seeing the name “Landau” startled him, but seeing the great look of pride in Chavala’s face he managed a big smile.

Moishe greeted them from behind the metal-grille partition, and Dovid thought he hadn’t seen Moishe this happy-looking since they’d sat in Bernstein’s basement listening to the
Bilu
from Palestine, fired up with becoming a member of the Lovers of Zion. Much had happened since then to change Moishe’s feelings. For him the old cause had been lost to the treachery of the British. His future was Chavala’s … this was freedom. With almost nothing Chavala had made a miracle happen, and in so short a time. Dovid understood, but realized he could never agree …

Chavala took Dovid into her office, closed the door and took out the cigar boxes. “Well, Dovid, what do you think?”

He listened quietly as she explained the business, how she had come to acquire the inventory she now had. “And you know, Dovid, this is really just the beginning. I have very high hopes… it’s so important…”

To whom
, Dovid thought, but said only, “Yes, Chavala, it’s remarkable what you’ve done in so short a time. And it seems Moishe agrees.”

“Yes … I told you that something like this could only happen in America …” She hesitated, took a deep breath … “now that you’ve seen it, Dovid, wouldn’t you maybe think about trying it?”

His look said it all. “I’m sorry, darling, I can’t, and you know why.”

Chavala forced back the tears. In her heart she’d known the answer before she asked it, she was foolish even to think she could change his mind. But to be without him again after even this brief reminder of what it was like together … God, why didn’t he try to stop her? But she could hear the answer … What good would that have done, wouldn’t they have ended up resenting, even hating each other? A husband shouldn’t have to force his wife to be with him. That wasn’t a marriage. If she stayed it had to be because she loved him so much she would do
anything
he asked … But was that really love … ? In a way it was Dovid’s great strength that made it possible for him to let her go. It took a strong man to do that. Chavala only wished she had been woman enough not to leave Dovid
…

She forced a smile. “Now, Dovid, I want you to meet Mr. Leibowitz.”

“Ah … Chavala,” Mr. Leibowitz called out as he came up to them. He ruffled Reuven’s hair. “So how is the bar mitzvah boy?”

“Fine … thank you. This is my father,” Reuven said with obvious pride.

“Ah ha, so this is Dovid. If I met you on the street I would have known you. Reuven described you very well. Now, come into my office and I’ll send out for coffee and cake and we’ll talk. I want to hear all about what’s going on in Eretz Yisroel.”

“Thank you, but we can stay for only a few minutes. I just wanted to show off a little,” Chavala said, looking at her husband, “but please come to supper tonight.”

He hesitated for a moment, looked at Chavala’s stomach and smiled. “I would like that very much, but you’re sure it wouldn’t be too much for you?”

“I’m only going to have a baby, Mr. Leibowitz, and a family still has to eat.”

He nodded, remembering the first time she had walked into his office, a total stranger, and now he felt as though she was a daughter. “I’ll be there, and thank you. And you, Dovid, things haven’t been the same since the bar mitzvah boy heard you were coming.”

Dovid looked at his son. “The feeling was shared. It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Leibowitz, we’ll see you this evening.”

“God willing.”

On the way home Chavala bought a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of seltzer. After she rather laboriously climbed the stairs, she opened the door to the flat to find Chia had already set the table with the new white tablecloth Chavala had purchased for Dovid’s arrival.

“Where’s
abba
and Reuven?” Chia asked.

“Reuven took Dovid to show him his yeshiva. You notice the change in Reuven, I’m sure.”

Chia sighed. “He can’t let
abba
alone for a minute.”

“I know. I hate to think … when Dovid leaves …”

“Let’s not think about it today, we’re together for the first time in a long time. Let’s make every moment happy.”

It was like old times as Chavala watched the pots. The smells were heaven. The brisket bubbled away in its own natural juices, the kasha simmered slowly, the carrot
tzimmes
needed just a bit more sugar. The one thing Chavala bought were the cakes from Mrs. Neusbaum … she was just too tired to make them.

As Chavala served the food it seemed so
natural
to have Dovid sitting at the head of his table.

Mr. Leibowitz had brought the sweet Passover wine, which he drank all year round. With his glass touching Dovid’s he said, “To Jerusalem.”

“To the state of Israel,” Dovid responded.

“
L’chayim,
” Reuven said.

Chavala hoped with all her heart that Dovid’s dreams of a Jewish state would come true. If both of them could realize their dreams then they surely could start together again. It
would
happen, somehow. She willed herself to believe it would…

After supper Chavala felt especially tired. She kissed Dovid and said goodnight to Mr. Leibowitz, thanking him for coming.

Reuven was pleased that his mother had gone to bed early and that Chia had gone off to study. He listened attentively as Mr. Leibowitz plied Dovid with one question after another, and to Dovid’s answers…

“You didn’t say so much today …but tell me, how are conditions, I mean with the British?”

The lines in Dovid’s forehead deepened. “Not good, Mr. Leibowitz. They’re trying to make peace with the Arabs, and as usual at our expense.”

Mr. Leibowitz shook his head. “They won’t let us live, will they? I mean …I thought the British would be sympathetic. That’s what I read in the Yiddish papers. What about this Balfour Declaration?”

“Not, as they say, worth the paper it’s written on. You know …for centuries the Arabs lived without lifting a hand to redeem the land and now they’ve invented something called Arab nationalism. Very convenient. We hoped that the agreement between Chaim Weizmaon and Faisal would bring our two people closer together. It was hoped that with the agreement, Jewish immigration into Palestine would flow, but the Arab nationalists were against it. A few weeks ago the settlements in upper Galilee were attacked.” He looked at Moishe. “Trumpeldor was murdered at Tel Hai. He fought in Manchuria, in Gallipoli, in Europe, he came home and they murdered him in Eretz Yisroel. Riots broke out in Jerusalem, Jews died. The British authorities gave the Arabs a free hand, the Jewish defenders led by Jabotinsky were wiped out…”

Moishe, never surprised by British treachery, was nonetheless in a state of shock. Finally he asked, “What about Jabotinsky?”

“Sentenced with I don’t know how many others to a long term, for the crime of defending the Yishuv.”

“Are you trying to get them out?”

Dovid laughed bitterly. “The Turks were so corrupt, no one, from the highest to the lowest, turned down a bribe. With gold you could buy yourself out of the grave. The British on the other hand, so civilized and polite, stab you in the back just before taking their tea. They can’t be bought off, if the price is a Jew. And it’s a Jew, an
English
Jew, Sir Herbert Samuel, who’s been appointed Palestine’s high commissioner.”

“Well, my God, Dovid, why doesn’t he help?” Moishe said.

“The British know what they’re doing. One mistake and he’s labeled pro-Jewish. He can’t even be suspected of being lenient. He has to lean over backwards …”

“You mean he’s done nothing for the Jews?” Mr. Leibowitz said.

“In the beginning he tried to bring in some Jewish immigration, but he had to appease the Arabs. So the Jews that did were put on road projects. He also made Hebrew an official language, side-by-side with Arabic and English as a concession to the Jews, but on the other hand the best government-owned land in the Beth She’an valley was distributed among the Bedouins.”

Mr. Leibowitz and Moishe sat in silence. It all seemed so grim. How little, they realized, was written about Palestine’s Jews in the American newspapers.

“
Abba
, why can’t Aaron Aaronson and you do something like what happened in the war?”

Dovid looked at his son, the boy had been listening so intently he’d all but forgotten he was there. “Because this is a different time, Reuven.”

“But you helped the British in the war. Uncle Moishe was wounded—”

“I know, Reuven, but the British aren’t exactly grateful to Uncle Moishe or to me or people like us. A few days ago a man named Winston Churchill who’s very important in the British government sat on the terrace of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem and looked out into the distance and there and then apparently decided that the Arabs needed another country, so he created a new place called the Kingdom of Jordan. All that land, Reuven, was once a part of Judea.”

“What are we going to
do
about it,
abba?
”

“Fight, Reuven … We must be prepared, we can’t depend on anyone, especially the British, to even help us get our land. That’s why instead of going back and working the land I’m working where I feel I’m most needed, with the Zionist Agency … And now, Reuven, I think you should go to bed, it’s getting late … oh, and don’t tell your mother about this, I don’t want to worry her…”

Mr. Leibowitz couldn’t believe it was one o’clock already. He wasn’t a bit tired, but he knew he should go home and let these people get some sleep. Getting up he said to Dovid, “If you need me for something, anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Dovid nodded. “I’ll remember, Mr. Leibowitz. And thank you for all you’ve done for Chavala. It makes me feel better knowing she has someone here like you.”

“
Shalom
… Maybe if you have nothing better to do, stop by and we can lunch in my office?”

But that invitation was not to be taken advantage of…

When Dovid started to undress in the dark Chavala said calmly, “Dovid, I think maybe you better go down and get a cab.”

He went quickly to her, took her in his arms. “The pains … are they very bad?”

“No, they started about an hour ago. Dovid, I love you, thank God you’re here …”

The family, as well as Mr. Leibowitz, waited nervously as Chavala was taken to the delivery room at Bellevue Hospital.

Dovid paced in one direction, Moishe the other. Reuven had never seen his father so worried. As for himself, he just felt sort of embarrassed … not sure what to do or how to act.

Mr. Leibowitz, sitting next to him, said, “Your
abba
is a wonderful man, Reuven, and your
ema
is a remarkable woman. I know they’re both very proud of you.”

Reuven barely heard him as he watched his father pacing back and forth.

Chia had her own special, private fears as her thoughts inevitably went back to when Chavala’s and her mother had died …if anything happened to Chavala, she didn’t think she could bear it. Chavala had always been more like a mother to her than a sister … The hours seemed endless. She put her arms around Reuven and held him close to her, as much to reassure herself as Reuven….

Nature took over, and on October 23, 1920, after five hours in labor, Chavala gave birth to a son. He weighed nine pounds, three ounces, and from the moment of birth was the living image of his father.

Back in the ward, Chavala asked to see her husband and Dovid was quickly at her side.

Chavala smiled. “Have you seen him, Dovid?”

He shook his head, “No, not yet, but I see you and I love you and—”

“Wait, Dovid, wait until you do. I thought I was seeing a miniature you.”

She stroked his head, which lay against her breast, filled with an inexpressibly tender love for this big, strong man who felt no shame in expressing his own love. Trying not to allow the shadow of his leaving her room affect this wonderful moment of closeness, she whispered, “I love you, Dovid. Now go see your new son.”