No Test for the Wicked: A Lexi Carmichael Mystery, Book Five (4 page)

Chapter Four

I picked up my phone and saw I had a text from an unknown number. I punched the button.

First real date tonight. Dinner. Dress casual. Pick you up at seven o’clock.

Slash. He wanted to go to dinner. On a date. I blew out a breath. Jeez, now the real relationship stuff started. In comparison, sex suddenly seemed easy.

I read the text again. Dress casual. What the heck did that mean? Jeans, sweatpants, or just not an evening gown? Why couldn’t he have been more specific?

I tried to calm down. I had until seven o’clock to figure it out.

I did some work and then strolled out of my office and stopped by the cubicle of Ken Kurisu, one of my assistants.

“Hey, Ken.”

He looked up. “Hey, Lexi. What’s up?”

“I have a question to ask you.”

“Ask away.”

“It’s not work-related.”

“Okay. So what is it?”

My cheeks felt warm. “Well, um, if you were to ask a girl to dress casual, what would that mean?”

“This is a girl I like?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to be completely candid? I mean, you are my boss after all and this might be awkward.”

“Oh.” I hesitated. “I don’t want you to feel as awkward as I feel right now, but I really could use some advice.”

He laughed. “Okay, then I would want her dressed in some fancy lingerie.”

“Lingerie is considered casual?”

“Yeah, it sure is.”

My cheeks got even hotter. “To go out to dinner?”

“Okay, I was just kidding. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

He stared at something over my shoulder and smiled.

“Ken.”

Silence.

“
Ken!
”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“I can’t wear lingerie to a restaurant. Well, I guess I could, but it would have to be under some kind of clothes. Casual clothes. Define
casual
in this setting.”

He blinked. “This is for you?
You?
You’re going on a date?”

“What? Is that so hard to believe?”

“Ah, no. Not really.”

I sighed. “Look, just tell me what I’m supposed to wear.”

“Damn, you
are
going on a date.” He grinned. “That’s pretty cool. Well, I guess casual depends on which restaurant he’s taking you to. Do you know where?”

“No.”

“Okay. Just to play it safe, I’d wear a nice pair of slacks with heels and a slinky little blouse.”

“I don’t have a slinky little blouse.”

“Just put some lingerie beneath an ordinary blouse. Then unbutton the blouse a bit. Voila, you have slinky.”

“Unbuttoning it makes it slinky?”

“Hell, yes.”

I hesitated. “I’m not sure I could do that.”

“Sure you could. You asked me to define casual. That would definitely meet his requirement of casual.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure. I’m a guy, aren’t I?”

“That’s true. Okay, thanks, Ken.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

I showered, then dried my hair. Time for the hard part. I had a clean pair of black slacks, but I couldn’t figure out which blouse I should pick to go with it. I laid out my lingerie on the bed. Other than the standard white and nude cotton bras and panties, I had only a black bra with no matching undies, a red padded bra and four matching thongs (long story how I got those) and a purple bra with sequins and matching underwear as a result of my one disastrous foray as a stripper (an even longer story). After a long consideration, I chose the purple ensemble and picked my purple blouse to go on top. I unfastened the top button, but you could only see a glimpse of my throat. I should have asked Ken whether the bra was supposed to show a little bit or a lot. I unbuttoned one more. My neck was visible, but no hint of the bra. Jeez, why couldn’t there be some sort of manual to determine the correct procedure?

Thank God for the Internet. I sat down in front of my laptop and Googled how many buttons was standard to unbutton on a woman’s blouse. Unfortunately, all the answers referred to men and how many buttons they could politely unfasten once they took off a tie. Apparently men needed all the fashion advice. Unbuttoning blouses was left completely in the hands of women who—with the exception of me—knew exactly how many to unbutton to define casual. Standing in front of the mirror, I unbuttoned one more. Now I could see the edge of the purple bra.

Sighing, I decided to leave it for the time being and worry about the rest of me. My hair was long and loose. Remembering Ben’s words about how young I looked with my hair in a ponytail, I left it down. I went to the bathroom and swiped on some mascara and lip gloss. I probably should have done more, but I’d already started to get cranky. What I really wanted to do was put on my sweatpants and play Hollow Realm while eating cornflakes. I was emotionally exhausted and I hadn’t even set one foot out of my apartment yet.

There was a soft knock at the door. I peeked out the peephole and saw Slash standing there. I opened the door.

“So, now that we’re dating you knock on the door?”

Slash was a master at entering rooms without needing a key or an invitation. He had conquered my door a long time ago, despite my fancy alarm system.

He lifted an eyebrow. “You’re giving me permission to enter at will?”

“You’ve
always
entered at will.”

“But not with the same purpose.”

“What purpose is that?”

He leaned across the threshold and kissed me. “This.” He murmured something in Italian against my lips. I felt my knees getting weak as he deepened the kiss.

A throat cleared and I opened my eyes. My neighbor Jan Walton and her seven-year old son, Jaime, stood at their door, staring openmouthed at me.

I stepped back from Slash, my cheeks heating. “Ah, hey, Jan. Jaime. How are you guys? Um, this is Slash.”

“Lexi?” Jan seemed shocked to see me kissing a guy. Okay, it
was
kind of shocking, given the fact that it was me and I was engaging in a public display of affection in the hallway of my apartment complex. I hadn’t been thinking, which happened to me a lot when he kissed me.

Jaime, who was high-functioning autistic, only had eyes for Slash. “Did you know that human bodies contain ten times more bacteria than human cells? Up to five hundred differing kinds of bacteria can live on our skin at any given time. By putting your mouth on her like that you have likely exchanged no fewer than one hundred thousand germs, many of which have the potential to turn into something dangerous.”

Jan snapped her mouth shut. “Jaime! Oh, I’m sorry, Lexi.”

I glanced over at Slash, who didn’t seem perturbed or embarrassed by Jaime’s comments. I tried to think of a quick way to alert Slash to Jaime’s autism, but before I could say anything, he took two steps and knelt down in front of the boy.

“True. But did you also know that kissing is a critical way to strengthen our immune system? The germs we exchange by kissing are usually so weak and varied that, instead of harming us, they help us build our resistance so when we encounter truly dangerous germs, our bodies are better prepared to fight them.”

Jaime’s eyes widened. “You were making Lexi stronger?”

“Exactly.”

Jaime looked over at me. “I like Lexi. Can you do it again?”

Jan stifled a laugh. “Not right now, he can’t.” She held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Slash.”

Slash rose and took her hand, lifting it to his lips and kissing it. “I assure you, the pleasure is all mine.”

Jan shot me a questioning glance. As Slash returned to me, she fanned herself behind his back. I tried not to roll my eyes, but I couldn’t help the little smile that rose to my lips.

“Lexi, we need to have coffee.
Soon
.”

“Sure, Jan,” I called out as Slash and I entered my apartment.

After he closed the door behind us, I turned to him. “Did you know Jaime was autistic?”

He nodded. “
Si
, I’m familiar with autism.”

“How?”

He kissed my cheek. “That’s a story for another time. Are you ready for dinner?”

I looked down at my outfit. “I’m not sure. Do I look okay?”

He took a step back and studied me. Then he reached out and fingered the edge of my bra. “Pretty.”

“Well, Ken said lingerie defined casual.”

His hand dropped. “Ken?”

“Kenji Kurisu. My assistant at work. I asked him to define casual dress and he said lingerie.”

“Ah, I see.
Cara
, if you have any questions about what to wear for me, you can always come straight to the source.”

“I know. I just...”

“Just what?”

“Well, this stuff doesn’t come intuitively to me. You’re my boyfriend now. I just can’t ask you about
everything
. In my own defense, I went online, but I couldn’t find out how many buttons were proper to unbutton and still be considered casual. Ken said I had to unbutton some of them to make it slinky...”

Slash let out a low growl and pulled me into him again. “Let’s stop talking about Ken.” He glanced down at my unbuttoned shirt and then back up to my face. A smile touched his lips. “You look just right.”

“I unbuttoned the proper number?”

He started walking me backward, holding me in his arms the whole time. “You unbuttoned perfectly. So perfectly that we are going to be late to dinner.”

I turned my wrist and glanced at my watch. “Actually, unless we’re going somewhere really far away, we should have plenty of time.”

He started nuzzling my neck as he walked me into my bedroom. “Trust me. Dinner will be late.”

I felt the edge of the bed behind my legs. I fell back on it when Slash released me. He shrugged out of his leather jacket.

“Oh.” It took me a moment to get there. “Oh!”

He unfastened his shoulder holster and set it and his gun on my dresser. “We’re going to have our appetizer first.” Reaching out, he unfastened another button on my blouse and then another.

I looked up at him. “Okay. So, what’s on the menu for our appetizer tonight?”

He smiled, lifting my chin with his fingertips. “Something delicious.”

Chapter Five

We were two hours late. Totally worth it.

Slash assisted me with re-dressing. He buttoned my blouse one higher than I had done myself.

When I looked at him questioningly, he kissed the tip of my nose. “I have to maintain some level of decorum at dinner.”

I tried to smooth my rumpled hair. “I had no idea that unbuttoning a blouse would lead to that. However, I believe that continued field research—the kind we are currently engaging in—is important to broaden our knowledge on this subject. We should do it again and soon.”

He chuckled. “I’ve created a vixen. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

“What? The appetizer wasn’t filling enough?”

He growled, pulling me to my feet. “Don’t tempt me. When it comes to you, I’m discovering I have less willpower than I thought.”

I laughed, pleased by my witty comeback.

Slash drove to an Indian restaurant called Royal Tandoor Indian Cuisine, located in Laurel, Maryland, not too far from my apartment. Despite our late arrival and the fact that the place was packed, the maître d’ led us to a small table in the corner of the restaurant near the window. The restaurant was lovely with Indian décor and what looked like gorgeous handcrafted furniture. Our table was set away from the main area and in a semi-private alcove. Slash, as always, claimed the seat facing the entrance. He held out my chair as I sat and the maître d’ handed us menus. As we read the offerings by candlelight, Slash asked if I’d like to try a glass of Indian wine.

“Sure.”

A few minutes later a waiter appeared with two glasses and a bottle. He poured a bit in Slash’s glass. Slash swirled it and took a taste, then nodded. The waiter poured more in our glasses, then asked us if we were ready to order. I ordered tandoori chicken while Slash asked for the vegetable biryani.

I glanced around the restaurant. “So, where is the FBI tonight?”

It was kind of a running joke between us. Slash apparently knew so much sensitive information he had an FBI detail around the clock. I knew it wasn’t an easy thing for him to be constantly followed by government agents, but I thought he’d done a good job living with it the best he could.

“I told them to blend.”

I looked around the room, but didn’t notice anyone out of place. That was the idea, I guess.

Slash followed my gaze and smiled. “They’re outside in a vehicle. We’re alone in here.”

I was glad for at least a little privacy.

Slash lifted his glass. “To our first official date.”

I raised mine and clinked it against his. “May it be as memorable as the appetizer.”

“Indeed.” He smiled and took a sip. “So, what’s new?”

“With what?”

“With whatever you want to talk about. Work, friends, whatever.”

“Oh, this is the part where I have to talk. Okay, let me think. Well, X-Corp caught a case at a D.C. high school for gifted kids today. I’ll be the lead on it.”

“Interesting. What’s up?”

“Kids keep hacking in to the computer system and changing grades and schedules, among other things.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah, for the kids. Not so much for the adults. The kids have created a clandestine group called the WOMBATs and they’re causing havoc.”

I didn’t have to explain WOMBAT to Slash. He chuckled. “Creative.”

“I know, right? My mission is to keep the students out permanently. Given the fact that everyone is so plugged in to the system, including these kids, I won’t be able to rely on a simple tech solution.”

He nodded, lifting the glass to his lips and sipping. “The adults are the weak link.”

“Exactly.”

“So, what’s your approach?”

“I’m thinking to go undercover as a student at the school to see if I can figure out who, why, and how they are breaking in.”

He choked, nearly spewing his wine.

I looked at him with concern. “Slash? Are you okay?”

He coughed and pressed his napkin to his mouth. “I’m okay,
cara
. Come again. You’re going undercover at a high school?”

“That’s the plan. Slash, do you think I look eighteen?”

He stared at me for a long moment. “I
think
that’s a trick question.”

“Well, the reason I ask is because I wasn’t prepared for the enthusiasm with which Ben Steinhouser agreed I could pull this off. He said all I had to do was to wear the school uniform, dye my hair blonde and wear a backpack, and I’d look eighteen all over again. Easy as pie, he says. Finn didn’t seem to think I could make it work.”

Slash just stared at me.

“Slash? Are you listening?” I snapped my fingers in front of his face.

“You never cease to surprise me.”

“You mean that in a good way, right?”

He let out a breath. “It means that right now I’m still trying to follow this conversation.”

“Why? Going back to high school is not a complex subject.”

“The problem is I didn’t hear anything you said after that part about wearing a schoolgirl uniform and going blonde.”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say I was going to go blonde. I said Ben suggested it to help disguise me in case anyone recognizes me from my abbreviated stint on television.”

Slash chuckled and reached across the table, covering my hand with his. “Okay, I’m focused now. Let’s go back to the beginning. First, there’s nothing wrong with a woman looking young for her age.”

“So you
do
think I look eighteen.”

“I
think
that you can make people believe almost anything with the right attitude, effort and disguise, even if it’s just jeans and a backpack. I speak from experience.”

“Okay, I guess you’re right. It’s just that both Bonnie and Rob asked me how old I was when I went to check out the school. Now that I think about it, so did the ambassador during our initial meeting. No one could believe I was old enough to handle their problem.”

“Good thing we know better.” He squeezed my hand. “So who is this ambassador? I think you’d better tell me the whole story.”

I gave him the quick rundown of the situation. He listened, sipping his wine until I’d finished. “Hmmm. I can see how you came to the conclusion that becoming one of them would be the right approach.”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“In this particular case, no. But how comfortable are you with the prospect of going back to high school?”

“Truthfully, I’m dreading it. I’m hoping it will take no more than a week or two. First, Finn has to convince Bonnie Swanson, the headmistress, that this is the best way to solve her problem. If she agrees, I’ll have to consult with Ron to determine which kids are the most likely to be involved. Then I’ll have to make sure I’m in some of their classes so I can catch their attention.”

“Who’s Ron?”

“The IT guy at the school.”

“Okay.”

The waiter brought us our soup. It was spicy.

“Oh, my God. This soup is so good.”

Slash tried his. “It’s always excellent here.”

I spooned in another mouthful and swallowed. “Is it still my turn to talk?”

“There don’t have to be turns. If you have something to say, just say it. Whenever you want.”

“I feel like I’m monopolizing the conversation. Surprisingly, it’s not that hard to talk to you.”

“Why is that surprising? We’ve never had a problem with conversation.”

“That was before we were dating.”

“Dating isn’t going to change that.” He lifted his wineglass. “What else is on your mind?”

“Well, I told Basia about us.”

The glass paused midway to his lips. “Really?”

“Really. She didn’t freak out as much as I expected.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

“She’s also dating Xavier.”

“I thought she was already dating him.”

“She is. Well, was. I mean she’s usually dating a lot of guys at the same time. Don’t ask me how she does it, but it works for her. Anyway, she decided to be exclusive with Xavier.”

Slash set his glass down without taking a drink. “Why?”

“I guess she likes him. A lot.”

“Interesting.”

“My thought exactly.” I played with my napkin. “The thing is, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I just hope she’s careful with his feelings. It would be terrible if she hurt Xavier, and she could
really
hurt him. I don’t want that to happen.”

“He’s a big boy
.
”

“He’s also my friend.”

Slash ran his finger across the rim of his wineglass. “You’re unusually protective of the Zimmerman twins. You’ve known them for some time.”

“Well, not as long as Basia, but long enough. We’re pretty darn close. Other than Basia, they’re my best friends in the world. I don’t have the greatest social skills, but Xavier and Elvis—especially Elvis—take me the way I am. They understand me on an intuitive level. I get them in the same way.”

Something had changed in the atmosphere, but I couldn’t figure it out. I picked up my glass, took a sip, and then set it down.

“Slash, we’re exclusive, right?”

His eyes narrowed. “Utterly.”

The predatory way he looked at me made my breath hitch in my throat. “Okay. Just checking.”

“That’s nonnegotiable.”

“I didn’t intend to negotiate. We just hadn’t exactly talked about it. Besides, it’s not like you have to worry about that with me. You’re my first boyfriend
ever
. I barely know what I’m doing with you. That I could figure it out with someone else, potentially at the same time, is unimaginable.”

“Good.” He smiled, but it seemed forced, like he was actually worried I might want to start dating around, which, if he took a minute to think about it, was beyond ridiculous. Unless he was worried about Finn, which he shouldn’t be because I’d already told him I wasn’t capable of working for and dating the same guy. Besides, Finn had been cool about the whole sort-of-break-up-thing, which I really, really appreciated.

I opened my mouth to say something else when Slash started staring at something over my shoulder. I began to turn around and follow his gaze when he said, “Don’t.”

I froze. “What is it?”

He fiddled with a ring on his right hand. It was silver with an antique setting that held a large black stone. “Stay here. I’ll let you know in a minute.”

He rose from the table. Unable to stop myself, I glanced over my shoulder and saw him walk slowly past the maître d’, who was speaking to a man with cropped black hair and a dusky complexion. The man was maybe of Indian or Middle Eastern descent. It was hard to tell from there.

I watched as the maître d’ handed the man a bag that looked like carryout food. In return the dark-haired man handed him some cash. It all appeared harmless enough.

Slash crossed his arms casually as he walked past them again. Neither man seemed to notice. I turned around in my seat just as Slash returned to the table and threw a bunch of bills down.

“I told you not to look.”

“I just took a peek. Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on,
cara
, let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’ll tell you on the way.”