No Pit So Deep: The Cody Musket Story (25 page)

Whitney reached for more tissue. “Baby, your mother loves Cody in a different way than she loves Grandpa. And Cody loves you in a different way than he loves anyone else. And don’t worry, your heart has plenty of love for everybody.”

“Cody, are you awake? You said to wake you at eight.”

“Uh, what time is it?” He rubbed his sleepy eyes.

“Nine!”

“Nine?” He sat straight up. 

“Nine Eastern, that is. It’s only eight here. Just making sure you’re awake. I have your coffee ready.”

He plopped back facedown on the pillow. “I can see we’re gonna have problems if you keep messin’ with my mind like that.” His voice drawling, grinding like a tractor.

“Oooh, are you gonna get rough with me?” She giggled and popped him on the backside opposite from where he was wounded. “Took me a few minutes to figure out where you hid my gown last night.”

He turned over onto his back. “What gown? The one you have on? Uh, where did you find it?”

“Right where you hid it.” She pinched his big toe through the sheet. “You said Pastor Ron is planning a breakfast meeting in the Galveston Room near the lobby at nine o’clock, and he wants you to speak, so I made the effort to fix your coffee.”

“Even though I hid your gown?”

“So you’re admitting it?”

“Never!” he growled. “Come here.” Cody caught her hand and pulled her to the bed. “Did we really get married last night?”

“I certainly think so.” She sat on the edge of the mattress. “You called me Mrs. Brandi Musket just before we jumped into the hot tub.”

“Yeah. Splashed water all over the floor.”

She pulled the sheet off him, “Babe, why do these pajamas you’re wearing have holes in the knees?”

Cody tightened up.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry.” She lay beside him and stroked his face. “I pray you won’t have those nightmares any more. I’m gonna get you a new pair of PJs.”

“Speakin’ of the hot tub, you’re beautiful,” he doted. “I can’t even remember what a Tyler Rose is anymore.”

“And my bruises? I wasn’t kidding when I told the press —”

“Yeah. Made me wanna hurt those guys again. You look like a train ran you down. Are you sure you don’t have some busted ribs?”

“Ouch! Don’t be poking around on me like that. What’s the matter with you? Last night you were so gentle.”

“Yeah, but I just wanted to see if you have any broken bones.”

She pulled on his chin whiskers. “Ya betta not mess with me, sucka.”

“Ohhh, now I got goose bumps.” He pressed gently on her ribs. “But seriously, does that hurt?”

“Yes!”

“Well, maybe you should see Doc. Have x-rays?”

“Look, if I get checked out,
I’m
choosing the doctor. Don’t want some baseball trainer gawking at me.”

“But he’s a
real
doctor and — No, no, I didn’t mean…of course you should choose.”

“I’m sorry you had to meet me on the worst day of my life and then marry me eight days later when — I mean I was worried that it would dampen our wedding night when you saw how much damage those guys did when they manhandled me.”

His voice deepened. “Well then, like Tommy Lee Jones asked Robert Duvane in
Lonesome Dove
, ‘You want me to kill ‘em for ya?’”

“It’s Robert
Duvall.
And I know it sounds impossible, but I’m not afraid anymore.”

He softened his tone and delicately wrapped her in his arms. “I noticed the old stab wounds. That was a bad day too. I nearly lost you two years before I met you. So how do you feel about your former boyfriend?” He propped himself on one elbow.

“I was able to forgive Billy, even though he’s dead. I don’t feel the pain anymore.”

“The black cloud of Afghanistan has left me, for now at least,” Cody said. “Do you reckon a miracle has happened to me?”

She smiled, then pulled him close and let him place his ear next to her heart. “Do you feel that? You’re listening to a miracle, Babe. My heart never beat with more joy.” She looked into his eyes again. “So how do you feel about the men who tortured you?”

“The hate’s gone, finally. Dunno if I’d call it forgiveness though.”

“Hate was causing your pain. If they asked you to forgive them, could you do it?”

“If they asked me? Hmm…yeah, I guess I could. I asked God before I left Afghanistan to take away the hate, but it never happened.”

“Not until now,” she declared. “Before now, you weren’t willing to forgive
yourself
. You can’t stop hating others until you stop hating yourself.”

“Still hard to believe Pastor Williams actually went to the jail to pray with the guys who killed Sasha,” Cody said. “I always wanted to beat the truth into guys like that with a Louisville Slugger. I figured they didn’t deserve forgiveness.”

“But now? What do you think now?”

“You are all I can think about right now.” He held her tighter and began kissing her face.

“Man of steel, it’s after eight.” She fought him off. “We need to get ready.” She crawled out of the bed. “I’m in this gown and I want to go across the hall to get dressed, but the security guys are standing outside our door. I need to borrow your robe.”

“Yeah, roger that.”

“Are we gonna always have to live under heavy guard?” She walked toward the closet. “We can’t exactly disappear like people in witness protection.”

“We could disappear,” he said, “but that wouldn’t be any fun.”

“Get serious.” She pulled his robe from the closet and put it on.

Cody sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “The Astros have been trying to sign me to a five-year contract for an average seven million per year.”

“Wow. They’re taking a big chance with a rookie.” Then she crossed her arms. “By the way, Captain America, are you telling me about this because I’m finally on your
need to know
list?”

“Lets just say it’s something you need to know. Derek says I could make twice that much if I wait a few years ‘til I’m a free agent, but I wanna start a foundation now to reach out to abducted children and prevent…I mean if I —”

“But you would be confronting the same forces who already want us dead. You
know
that, right?”

He lowered his face with a long sigh. “This is difficult. It involves you. That’s why you need to know what I’m thinking. I’m tired of us hiding, tired of you being a target. I want to turn the tables and change the odds — to hit ‘em where it hurts — in the wallet.”

“And what happens if the bad guys get wind of it? What if they find out what we’re doing?”

“I know some people who are good at what they do, and one thing they’re really good at is keeping secrets. The traffickers will never know who’s behind it. Besides —”

“Listen to me, husband.” She came back to the side of the bed. “I woke up three hours ago. What you’re suggesting has already been on my mind since before dawn. I even have a name for it — Planned Childhood.”

“You already thought about it? You already have a name for it?”

“The way I see it,” Brandi said, “we’re already in a battle because someone has declared war on us. Daddy’s eighth principle —
You either cower in fear or you answer
the call.”

Cody’s stormy brow eased.

“Babe, this is our time, a fight we can’t walk away from. We either win or we die fighting. I don’t want Knoxi growing up in a world where evil men can rule by just intimidating innocent people into doing nothing. I’m all in, man of steel. All in.”

He stared at her for a moment, eyes wild, playful like when he had swept her up and kissed her the first time. “Babe?” She took a step backward. “What are you thinking?”

“You are a
dangerous
woman!” he rumbled.

He lunged, but she scooted away, screaming, laughing like a playground child. “I’d love to do what newlyweds do,” she was out of breath, “but right now I
must
get ready.” She ran to the other side of the breakfast table. “Cody! I’m warning you.” She giggled. “Stay back!” He stopped.

“Did you think of the name
Planned Childhood
before or after you found your gown?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Well,” he conceded. “We’ll have to continue this later. I guess that’s what God made Sunday afternoons for.”

“Unless you play baseball.” She caught her breath, still giggling.

“Well, there’s always the off-season,” he growled.

“Roger that.” Her happy feet waltzed her toward the door.

“And I plan to make good use of the off-season!” Cody shouted as she left the room.

The Muskets and Barnes families with security escorts arrived in the Galveston Room at 9:00 a.m. Attendance at the breakfast meeting was expected to be about forty, but word had circulated on short notice that Cody Musket was going to speak. Nearly a hundred people showed up.

Umpire Bellevue Connors, who made his off-season home in the nearby city of Katy, arrived with his wife and twin granddaughters, as did members of the Houston Press, a few players from the visiting Chicago White Sox, and players, wives and girlfriends from the Astros.

A surprise guest was Mayor Leonard Beeker. Cody, who was already nervous about agreeing to speak that morning, felt even more uneasy when Beeker arrived.

After breakfast, Pastor Ron Summers invited Cody to the microphone. “Remember, this is a devotional meeting so watch your language,” he snapped.

Everyone laughed since they knew that Cody’s teammates often teased him for not employing enough “colorful metaphors” in his speech to adequately represent the Marines. 

“I heard him say
damn
once,” shouted shortstop Dancer Coleman, “when he made his first error this year. Good thing he don’t make too many.”

Loud cackles and guffaws circulated through the audience.  

But Felicia poked her husband and apologized to the group. “I been tryin’ to teach him manners for five years,” she said. “Now, honey, you apologize. You know you never heard that boy swear.” 

Now the laughter resonated out into the hallway and brought curious bystanders into the room to fill empty chairs.

Cody, who had tried to avoid public appearances, felt awkward at first. His handling of the press conference in Detroit had not helped his confidence, and this morning, Brandi would not be able to bail him out. He looked at her, then Ray. They both nodded. Knoxi was sitting on Whitney’s lap, her baby blues fixed on Cody’s face.

“Thanks for the endorsement, Dancer. As I recall, you cut in front of me and deflected the ball, and they gave me your error. I nearly got into a fistfight with the official scorer over that!”

After the light-hearted fun, everyone settled down.

Cody began, “I have a new family this morning.” He introduced Brandi and Knoxi, referring to Knoxi as his daughter. Brandi tried not to cry. He honored Ray and Whitney, saying that he felt like a son to them. Brandi reached for the tissue in her purse.

“Today, you are looking at a new Cody Musket.” He waited a few seconds for the room to quiet down. Would anyone even be interested? 

“For the past four years, I’ve lived a secret life of deep agony and personal sorrow.”

Cody revealed the emotional torture he had endured since he had been discharged from the Marine Corps. Though he was not specific about the children, he mentioned the wounds left on his body and soul from traumatic events in Afghanistan.

“To this day, a stigma persists toward those who suffer from post traumatic stress, and yet it is an epidemic in our modern world.” He took a sip of water.

“I couldn’t tell anybody about the pain. My life was unbearable when I was not on a baseball field. A few suspected, but I tried to play it down and even hide it.” 

Hearing this swashbuckling hero openly reveal his hidden struggle produced an eerie hush. Soon, the word had reached the hotel lobby, resulting in more late arrivals. It was standing room only.

Cody gave them a quick overview of his improbable recovery while at Kandahar — restoration that the trauma team had called a miracle. “I shouldn’t be able to walk, or even be alive today.”

He paused. The room was silent and still. Even the servers in blue aprons had ceased refilling coffee cups and were standing motionless.

“Psalm 23 says, ‘Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.’

“I know all about that valley — the shadows, death. I know what it is to fear evil. I have seen the lowest of humanity. I saw it abroad. I’ve seen it here. It changes you. It can make you become just like your enemies.

“Most people choose happiness as a goal, but my expectations did not reach even that high. My goal was to somehow keep my sanity. I had to
man up
cause I had too many people counting on me. Everyone wanted me to be a hero, so I hid my weakness.” He took another sip of water.

“Nine days ago in Pittsburgh, my life changed forever. We were rained out. I went to a movie. That night, I met the most beautiful creature God has ever made. She was courageous, understanding, and tough as nails. When I met her family, I found out where she got her mettle.”

He paused again and looked around. He had never imagined himself speaking words that would move a crowd to tears.

“I’ve seen things that no human should see, and done things I did not believe I could be forgiven for. I was in a pit so deep that even God couldn’t find me, or so I thought.

“But Brandi? Well, she doesn’t believe there is a pit that deep, and she loved me too much to leave me in that hole. After the gun fight in Pittsburgh four nights ago, I completely tweaked out of my mind. I blocked out everything — all reality, light, sound. I finally gave it up. It was a battle I just couldn’t win. But then, I felt her arms around me and I could hear her crying, pleading with God for me.”

The mayor, seated at the head table, was fixated, staring at the uneaten pastry on his plate. More arrivals had quietly gathered along the back wall.

“All I can tell you,” Cody said, “is that somehow the pain I had carried for four years just went away.” He paused again.

From the sanctity of the silence arose the tender voice of a woman seated somewhere near the back of the room. “Oh, sweet Jesus.”

“I’ve seen the shadow of death, and I know the fear of evil,” Cody continued. “The shadow arrives when all hell is breaking out in your life and you become convinced God doesn’t love you. The fear of evil comes when you lose hope.

“I have concluded that if God has one big flaw, it is that He loves us way too much, and you’re lookin’ at one thankful Marine.”

After he had spoken, many came to shake his hand. Some wanted an autograph, but most asked for his prayers. Ballplayers’ wives and girlfriends surrounded Brandi.

The last individual to shake Cody’s hand was a man in his middle thirties with dark hair and handle-bar mustache. A brunette woman accompanied him. She was thin, her face drawn and pale.

“Could we talk to you sometime tomorrow, Cody? I’m Baker Rafferty, and this is my wife, Elena. We were both police officers, but now we…we are not working. And —”

Brandi overheard. She moved closer. Cody introduced her to the couple. “We could have breakfast here tomorrow,” Cody suggested. “Just the four of us.”

It was agreed.

“Elena seems distraught, but Baker looks okay,” Brandi observed as she watched the couple make their exit. “What do you think?”

“He’s the one hurting,” Cody said. “He’s hiding it. Covering it up. They aren’t Texans either. They sound like New Englanders. They’ve come a long way from home.”

*     *     *

After the Sunday morning crowd had left, Cody, Brandi, Knoxi, Ray and Whitney sat down at one of the tables. The meeting hall was deserted but for two young attendants who were cleaning the room and a couple of police officers who stood guard. Ron Summers had left just as Cody had finished speaking because he had duties at his church.

Cody set Knoxi on his knee and told her he was going to legally adopt her. She didn’t understand. He explained that it meant he would always be her daddy.

Her face lit up, and she became animated, running out of breath before she could finish her response. “Then I’ll adopt you too, so I’ll always be your little girl, but it’s okay cuz you love me different than you love Mama, and I know I’m supposed to just love one man, but I love Grampa too, and don’t worry,” she stopped to come up for air, “cuz there’s plenty of love in my heart to go around for everybody!”

Cody’s eyes were as big as baseballs. Brandi snickered, and Ray totally lost it. Cody had never seen the captain lose control of his internal funny bone. Everyone was still adjusting to the toddler’s recent acquisition of speech.

Now Knoxi was feeling it — the exhilaration of discovery — she could make grown-ups laugh.

“I know you understood us before,” Cody told his daughter, “but how come you never spoke until just three days ago?”

Knoxi cocked her head to one side and stared back, suddenly speechless.

“You don’t know the reason, do you,” Cody concluded.

Her lower lip began to pucker, and her face clouded up.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” Cody assured her. “You haven’t done anything wrong. We aren’t disappointed in you. It just took a little longer for you than some other kids.”

Knoxi lunged forward and threw her arms around his neck. Whitney cried.

When Cody hugged Knoxi back, his affirmation loosed her tongue. She looked him squarely in the eye. “Now I’m talkin’ so much I don’t know when to shut up — just like my mama.”

Ray howled, bent forward and grabbed his hurting shoulder as he tried to control himself. “Where on earth did you hear that?”

Cody covered his mouth, took one glance at Brandi, and instantly read her thoughts.
I hope you’re satisfied.

“Never mind where she heard it!” Brandi vented, as she pulled Cody’s hat down over his flushed face. “Like father, like daughter.”

The tiny girl lifted Cody’s hat above his eyes. She wasn’t finished. “What did Grampa mean when he said Mama would tame you before dawn?”

Whitney gasped and thumped Ray on his forehead. Ray was suddenly silent.

Knoxi knew she was on a roll. “Mama said sometimes you need a push, and Grandma told her she should beat some sense into you with a Louisville Slugger.”

No one took a breath. Brandi and Whitney looked at each other, trying to decide whether to laugh or hide. Ray hid his face in his hands. The merriment that followed was as much about the girl’s perfectly adult-sounding diction as anything else.

Then the toddler decided it was time to go for the home run. “Daddy, there’s only one thing I want from you.” She placed her hands on both sides of Cody’s face like she had seen her mother do. It was the first time Cody had ever been called “Daddy.” Brandi moved her lips close and kissed his ear lobe.

Cody removed his cap. “This ought to be good. I hesitate to ask. What one thing do you want from me?”

“I want one of those
ornge
hats like yours — only it needs to be my size.”

“I think she let you off easy, Cody.”

Cody looked behind him. It was Leonard Beeker who had just entered the room.

“Don’t want to interrupt, but when you get a chance, could we talk? In private?”

Cody looked at the others. “Okay, Mr. Mayor. Uh, how’s right now?” He had been dreading the inevitable meeting with Mayor Beeker, but it seemed like a good time to get it over with, and an opportune moment to break up the family chat before Knoxi could spill the beans about anything else. Good thing no one had ever mentioned the word
blackmail
around the child.

It was time for the rest of the family to leave Cody and Mayor Beeker alone, so they gathered themselves up and walked toward the exit door. Knoxi’s tiny voice punctuated their departure.

“Mama, did you let Daddy have his cell phone back yet?”

Brandi scooped her up. “We need to talk!”

*     *     *

Cody and Leo found a private conference room. A two-man security team stood guard outside the door as Cody and the mayor shut themselves off from the world.

“Cody, you aren’t the man I thought you were. For the last few months, I have been critical of you because I knew something wasn’t right. Now, today, I don’t know what to —” He stopped.

Cody wore a stiff face as he sat across from this man who was his senior by nearly a half century, and whose parents had known the death stench of Nazi oppression — the Gestapo, the Schutzstaffel, the terrorism of another era.

“You are right about one thing, Cody. You’re a new man. The first time we met, I could see…I mean I knew that something didn’t add up.”

Beeker dropped his eyes. Cody’s pulse began to race.

“July, 1969, I volunteered for a secret mission in enemy territory in Laos, near the Ho Chi Minh Trail. There were three of us, all enlisted men, along with six South Vietnamese regulars. Officers rarely led these clandestine missions, and it was strictly volunteer work.”

Cody looked Leo in the eye. He had never sensed a bond with this crusty politician. Instead, the wrinkled old man with the crooked nose made him nervous. This morning was no different. Where was he going with this story, and what did it have to do with him?

“It was all jungle and a few rice paddies,” Leo continued. “Lots of small villages hidden in the back country. We came to a small settlement — seven, maybe eight huts. It was deserted except for seven children. Their parents were working a rice paddy ‘bout 200 meters away. The adults in the area doubled as enemy soldiers at night and used the Ho Chi Minh to transport supplies.”

Leo’s eyes began to turn red in the corners. It took Cody by surprise. Something was up. Something had happened.