25
Z
an stood on the precipice of madness. He had too much energy, was confined in too small a space, and was bogged down with too many secrets. Between Duffy's sulking and Gia's silent treatment the quiet hung thick in the recycled air.
The pod was too cramped, and he had to duck his head every time he stood up. The sanitary facilities were barely serviceable enough to keep them clean. Protein-rich beverages and water were dispensed by thumbprint three times a day, enough to keep them alive for a few weeks. Having lived aboard a ship for the majority of his life, Zan was used to the sameness of space. With all the energy the pod could muster focused on getting them to the nearest port, there was nothing to do but talk and think. If he'd been alone, it wouldn't have been so bad, but with the thick undercurrents of stress and the tight quarters he was about to lose his mind.
What the hell had happened between Hosta and the pod? What made her think he wanted to die? Everything he'd intended to do had been to protect her and his crew, the people of Hosta. He didn't take immortality lightly. It had been his burden to bear for most of his life.
Duffy murmured something too low for Zan to hear, and Gia smiled in reply. Gia laid a hand on Duffy's arm and the other man shook his head, eyes full of mirth. Zan ground his molars together. The friendship forming between the two of them irritated him for no good reason.
Is it because they seem content without me? My former lovers bonding over their combined cleverness in forcing me into this situation?
And that's what they were to him, he realizedâthe only two people in the universe he considered his lovers. Though he and Duffy hadn't been together for more than fifty years he still recalled that first night onboard the stolen vessel.
Duffy had been the original flyer for the living ship. An alien trader come to Hosta, Duffy had participated in the ranking nearly two decades before and was awarded his position. He hadn't challenged Zan, who at that time had still been mortal, and Zan hadn't even recalled his name when he'd first come aboard. On the run from his father, who'd kept him in prison for more than twenty years, Zan hid his desperation as he commandeered the test vessel.
His first had a way of finessing the young creature, getting it to respond better to nudges in the right direction. On Zan's orders he'd encouraged the hybrid to open a wormhole to another star system. The energy drain on the young ship had nearly killed it, and Zan informed the crew that they would remain where they were until the ship grew in strength and abilities.
None of them knew what he'd done to escape, or even that he'd been imprisoned, a figurehead that his father hauled out for ranking ceremonies. None of them knew about Isabella, or so he'd believed.
Night after night, Zan lay in his bed and stroked his shaft, recalling the sweet clasp of a lover's body. He hadn't had one since Isabella, didn't want another to suffer the same fate. It was bad enough Xander ordered him to participate in the ranking every year, that he had to kill all the men he fucked. And he did fuck them first, because it was the only release he allowed himself other than his own hand.
One night about two weeks into their mission Duffy had arrived at his quarters. “Cap'n, may I speak with you?”
Zan nodded and let him in.
“The crew is wonderin' if they'll be home in time for the ranking.”
“The ship is still too small. They can retain their positions for now. No need for a new ranking.”
Duffy shifted from foot to foot. “What's our heading?”
Zan pointed to the transparent star chart hologram projected from his desk. “See that little blue planet? That's Earth. The world is inhabited with creatures much like ourselves. I caught a few of their satellite transmissions. We could mix with the population there without them even knowin' we were from outer space. Learn them up good, so when they do become space farin' we know exactly what we're dealing with.”
Duffy studied the chart. “Sounds like you're planning to stay a spell.”
That was exactly what Zan was planning, to live anonymously among the people of Earthâthe last place his father would ever look for him. “The yellow dwarf star is stable and the ship can have a constant supply of food. We should be there in a day or so.”
If anything Duffy looked even more uncomfortable. “Spit it out, Duff.”
“Well, I know I'm an outsider and all, but your people need the structure the ranking provides, especially if they are gonna be among civilians on a foreign planet. You need to rank them before we get there.”
Zan shook his head. “No. You do it if you think it needs to be done. I can't, not without killing them.”
Duffy studied him a moment. Zan appreciated that the other man didn't ask why. “Is that because of your wife?”
Zan had him slammed up against the nearest bulkhead in no time flat. “What the hell do you know about it!”
Instead of panicking or stuttering, Duffy just met and held his gaze. “Nothin' more than talk. People are curious about you.”
“Why?” Zan released him and stepped back.
“You're Xander's only son. Rumors fly about important people.”
“Well, I don't want to be important anymore and my wife is not a subject open for discussion. Understood?”
Duffy nodded. “You still love her, then. That why you haven't been with another woman?”
Zan's tone was laced with menace. “Back down now, Duffy. I'm warning you.”
But Duffy didn't. “You're going to lose control of them awful fast if you don't rank them.”
“I already told you to do it.”
“And the Cap'n needs to rank me.”
“That's what you want, then?” Furious at the man's relentlessness, Zan pushed Duffy down over the sofa. “Fine. Do I need to beat you to hell and back first, or should we just get right to the fucking?”
Duffy didn't say anything, just dropped his pants around his ankles and bent over the couch. His cock was hard, actually wet from precum, and his hole was slicked with some kind of oil. The man had prepared himself to be thoroughly fucked.
“You really want this, don't you? It's got nothing to do with the ranking. You want me to fuck you.” Zan's own cock stirred as he thought about losing himself inside another person, feeling the tight squeeze of someone else's body instead of his own hand.
“Yes.” Duffy spread his legs wider, the invitation clear.
“By anyone, or just by me?” Zan had no idea why he asked the question, but it was important to him.
“Just you.” Duffy gripped his own shaft and stroked. “I want to feel your hard cock in me, plunging in as deep as you can go.”
Zan didn't need to hear anything else. Kicking off his own pants he climbed onto the couch behind Duffy, bracing his hands on the wall before aligning his cock with the small opening. Part of him wanted to go slow, to enjoy burying his cock into Duffy's channel, but it had been too long and he was too far gone. With one powerful surge of his hips he drove his stiff prick in deep.
The clutch of muscles around his cock was tight. Zan closed his eyes and pulled back, enjoying the grasping pulls along his shaft as though the narrow passage wanted to keep him within. The man beneath him wasn't fighting to get away, and without the power struggle Zan was free to lose himself in the carnal act for the first time in two decades.
So damn good . . .
Duffy let out a hoarse shout as Zan pulled back before ramming forward again. It was a brutal fucking. He couldn't be gentle or go easy as he drove his meat into the other man's ass. One hand fisted in Duffy's hair, the other landing on his hips to synchronize his driving thrusts.
He was so hot he thought his skin might burst into flames at any second. His balls were drawn up tight, and he yanked his shaft free at the very last second, spilling all over Duffy's ass.
Duffy had come too, his hands covered in the evidence of his release.
Zan turned away, not able to look him in the eye.
“I'll take care of the men. Any who'd challenge you have to challenge me first.” Duffy had waited several moments before leaving.
They hadn't talked about it since.
There were times when Zan had been able to repress the memory, but then he'd see the longing in Duffy's eyes. He'd considered it, but the idea of sharing so much of himself, the memories cataloguing a lifetime's worth of mistakes, scared the hell out of him. He wasn't a naive boy the way he'd been when he married Isabella. Caring so much for another person had the power to break him.
So he found women, both on Earth and in space ports, and pleasured them. Trying to forget what he'd once had, ignoring the potential present he had with Duffy. A few quick bouts of pleasure saw him through.
Until Gia.
A hand landed on his shoulder, a gesture meant to comfort. “Why don't you get some rest, Cap'n?”
Zan shrugged it off. “Not tired.”
Instead of slinking away, Duffy frowned at him. “I got your message loud and clear, you know. I'm not gonna attack you.”
“What message?”
“Hands off. You're with her now.” Duffy chucked his thumb at Gia's sleeping form.
“I was.” Zan looked to where Gia was curled up, her hands tucked under her chin, dreaming. They hadn't talked anymore about the dreams, his memories. She respected his privacy on that score.
“She'll be good to you. Good for you. Kick your ass when you need it.” Duffy smirked, but the smile faded quickly. “I'm glad you found her, being as I'm heading out as soon as we land.”
“What? Duffy, what the hell, you don't even know where we'll end up. I think it would be better if we stick together.”
“Told myself I was staying for the ship, for the crew to keep 'em in line. Well, the ship is gone and the crew isn't a crew without a ship. I stayed too long at this party already. Hoping for something that was never gonna happen.”
Poleaxed, Zan sat there, absorbing this latest hit. Duffy was leaving. “Just like that? I don't want to fuck you, so you're heading out. Christ, Duffy, what did you expect? I'm not gay, never claimed to be. In my culture it's considered immoral for a man to forsake women outright. The ranking is about power and dominance, not love. You know that.”
“Yeah, I do. Doesn't mean I have to live with it though. I'm tired of being around people who make me feel like there's something wrong with me for not being omnisexual. Screwing anything with a pulse just because I'm bigger or a better fighter. And I need to be away from you so I can figure out who I am again.”
Zan opened his mouth to respond but something hit the pod, causing them to shake. Both men swiveled to the controls, scanning for the source of the hit.
“There.” Duffy pointed at the grid. “In orbit around that small moon.”
Zan squinted. “Are you sure those aren't asteroids?”
The ship rocked again, throwing them both against the left bulkhead. “Pretty damn sure,” Duffy grunted.
Gia'd been flung out of bed but had managed to grab ahold of the bench until the pod righted itself. “What's going on?
Zan and Duffy scrambled back to the navigation chairs. “We've got company.”
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Gia'd been awake for some time listening to Zan and Duffy talk. She willed her space pirate to come clean, to confess to Duffy that he did care about him, admit that he'd been hiding his feelings. If he could do that, she knew they'd have a chance together and that Zan wanted to make up for his past actions and decided to have a future. She'd been so sure he'd been about to say something when the pod took the first blow.
Ignoring Zan's command to buckle in would have been foolhardy, but sitting as a passenger with no control was not something she was accustomed to. Or very good at doing. “Do you recognize the ships?”
“They're too far away for our sensors.” Zan's hands flew over the pod's controls. “Duffy, try to raise them on the comm. And tell the other pods to alter course and spread out. Better to be five sitting targets than one.”
“Messages sent. The other pods are changing course, heading to the far side of the moon.”
“What about the ships? Any news?”
Duffy shook his head. “No response.”
“What can I do?” Gia called out.
“Sit tight. We'll either get out of this or we won't.”
“Describe the ship's formation to me. I might know their flight patterns even if you don't.”
“Damn it all, Gia. I've been a space farer longer than you've been alive, I think I'd know.”
“Hard to take note of the surroundings when you have your head lodged completely up your ass,” Gia shot back.
Zan whirled to face her, but just then the comm crackled to life. “Alien pods, this is Commander Slone of Earth's stinger squadron gamma. Alter your course and prepare to be towed to our base.”
“No fracking way.” Gia was up and out of her seat, leaning over Duffy to reach the comm. “Thad, it's Gia.”
“Gia?”
His voice rose at the end. “Holy hell, we thought you were dead!”
“Not quite.” She grinned at Zan, who wore a black scowl. “We had to abandon ship more than a week ago and are living in pretty tight quarters. You mind giving us a little assist?”
“Like you even need to ask. We can tow you to the station. Be there in a jiff.”
The comm clicked off and Gia bounced on her toes. She would have jumped for joy if it hadn't meant bashing her skull against the ceiling. “You hear that?”