No Longer Needed (18 page)

“Why didn’t you say something before now?”

Emma sighed and scraped the food around on her plate for a moment. She finally looked up, sadness in her eyes. “You’re a grown woman, Jennifer. I’m trying to treat you as one. It’s not my job anymore to correct behavior. I should have corrected it when you were young.”

Jen’s shoulders slumped. All she could think of was,
Why is everything so damn difficult?

They didn’t say any more on the subject. The waiter came over to clear their plates. Emma hadn’t finished the meal she’d declared she was starving for.

I sure mess everything up.

They went through the ritual of the aperitif—ouzo this time—with smiles plastered on their faces. After they paid the bill, made all the pleasantries, they set off toward their hotel for an afternoon nap.

Jen asked, “Is there more to this being happy thing than just having a good attitude?”

“It starts there. But it finishes on the inside. If you have feelings and hurts inside that you aren’t acknowledging, you’ll never be able to be happy. Happiness means coming to terms with who you are and loving yourself exactly as that. Healing is part of that. No matter who we are, we have things inside that need healing.”

“What if you can’t face those things?”

“Then you’ll never be happy, my love. You can go on holidays and be just as miserable as when you were at home. That’s because wherever you go, there you are.”

Jen thought about that for a few moments. They carried on to their hotel. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, even as she lay on her bed trying to fall asleep.

I went to Greece to get away, but here I am.
I can’t ever get away from me.
Now what?

Chapter 26

The sun peeked over the city as Connie unlocked the front door of Il Giardino. She’d woken up with a scratchy feeling at the back of her throat and it seemed to only be getting worse.

“I hope I’m not getting sick,” she muttered to herself as she locked the doors behind her.

Connie had made a fresh juice that morning with oranges, ginger, lemon and carrots, hoping it would stave off a cold. She felt better after drinking it, but her spirits were still low. She had been a big believer in natural foods and juicing for many years. She got as much exercise as possible, although with working in the restaurant all day, she didn’t need much more than walking. She loved yoga and had been trying to get Emma into it, but so far no luck.

She made her way to the kitchen as she thought back to the last couple of weeks and why her immune system might be down enough for her to get sick. She couldn’t remember the last illness she’d had.

Darkness shrouded the kitchen, which awaited the staff to bring it to life. Connie stood near the door and hesitated before flipping on the lights. She’d done it this way for years. Until she turned on the lights, the kitchen seemed to be in a sort of animated suspension, all energy held in check until it burst forth into cooking, baking and marinating. She had always loved this moment. Today it didn’t hold the same thrill for her.

Why?

Then it hit her and she flicked on the lights with a brush of her hand across the panel. She was denying her feelings. She’d learned long ago that you can feed your body all the healthy food it can stand, but if your mind wasn’t healthy, it’s all for naught.

Connie slumped onto a stool near the freezer door. She gazed around the wonderful place she’d created and sighed. She loved it, was proud of it, but no longer felt inspired by it. She’d been dancing around the feelings, putting a toe in the water now and again, such as when she’d mentioned it to Emma and to Rick, but thus far she’d been afraid of diving straight in.
 

She poised at the edge. Then dove.

Okay, so I’m no longer happy running Il Giardino. Is that a crime?

Connie hung her head for a moment as tears threatened.

No, it’s not a crime. Maybe there’s something better out there for me and I’m missing out.

She thought about that. She’d always been the adventurous sort. And yet she’d been running this restaurant for going on ten years. The routine had been the same. People had come and gone, but some had been there the whole time. The truth, she was bored. There was no challenge for her anymore.

Connie’s spirits lifted as she contemplated taking on a new challenge. She had no idea what it would be or where, but it definitely needed to happen. Now she was sure of it.

The door opened and Connie shot to her feet. Rick grinned at her from the doorway. “Didn’t hear me come in?”

She gasped, her hand on her heart. She’d been so deep in thought that she probably wouldn’t have heard a crowd.

“No. Wow, you scared me.”

Rick tossed his backpack into the corner and advanced on her, a wicked gleam in his eye. “I wanted to catch you alone.”

Connie stepped back, pressing against the wall. “We have to prep, Richard.”

He laughed, not pausing at all. “Now you sound like my mom. But you sure don’t look like her.”

She pressed her lips together, trying not to give him the satisfaction of making her laugh.

Connie’s head tilted back as Rick wound her long hair around his fist and tugged backward.
 

“Now that’s how I like you,” he growled low in his throat.

She let him nibble his way down her throat and then pushed him back. “I’m serious, Rick. The other staff will be here soon. I’m not going to have a repeat of the other day, especially to the detriment of the restaurant.”

At Rick’s pained expression, she caved. “Okay, come over tonight. We’ll spend some time together.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight. We’re both off tonight.”

“Pick me up? Where are we going?” Connie asked.

“On a real date.” Rick moved in again, kissing her firmly. “We’re going on a real date. I want to spend time with you and treat you like a lady.”

Connie had to admit, it sounded wonderful. She knew she shouldn’t be taking up with him again, but there was no one else around and she really enjoyed his company.

“Just a date, though, okay? I still don’t think we should be doing this, but I can’t seem to say no to you.”

“I know, I know.” Rick put on a pained expression. “You only want me for my fabulous cooking skill.”

Connie gave him a shove. “Go on, you goof. You know it’s actually your incredible ass.”

At his surprised expression, Connie laughed. “Got you.”

They both turned toward the prep stations as they heard the morning staff entering the restaurant. Connie thought she heard Rick whisper, “Yes, you do have me. Heart and soul.”

She shook her head, hoping she’d misheard. She didn’t need the responsibility of his heart on top of everything else. If she could make a choice and fall head over heels in love with him, she’d choose it. She knew it as well as she knew she’d never give up cooking. To live and laugh with your best friend every day. Connie couldn’t think of anything more perfect. But now she was considering leaving and going on a new adventure. Where did that leave her and Rick? She had no intention to explore that question just yet.

She would go to Greece first, have some much-needed relaxation, then decide what would come next.

The kitchen soon bustled with the staff preparing ingredients for that day’s meals. They chatted amongst themselves and asked about each other’s weekends. The new girl, Kira, passed by with a tray of buns and Connie braced herself. But Kira just gave her a grin and put the buns on the prep table. She looked completely relaxed and at home. When Connie gave her shoulder a quick squeeze as she made her way to Rick’s station, Kira looked up with a pleased and grateful smile. Connie was glad she’d given her another chance. She had a feeling Kira would end up becoming a wonderful chef.

Connie stood behind Rick, watching him fry eggs. The restaurant hadn’t opened yet, but they had a tradition of eating a good breakfast together. She’d spent too much time working with underfed, overstressed staff and had instituted the tradition several years ago. It had made a massive difference. Well-nourished staff made much better meals and didn’t gripe as much.

“Pick me up at seven. We’re going to need more time,” she whispered.

Rick looked up from his cooking with a lascivious grin. “Oh really?”

“We need to talk,” Connie said.

His face fell. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry.” She patted his back before moving away. “It’s a good thing.” Connie tossed the words over her shoulder before heading to her office. She needed to do some thinking.
 

As she sat at her desk, with excitement brewing for her plans, Connie noticed her throat was no longer scratchy.
 

“Okay, okay,” she said out loud, “I’m listening.”

Chapter 27

“Hey, what do you think of this?”

Emma turned and clapped. “You look like a Greek goddess, Jen.”

Jen held the sky-blue dress just under her chin. It draped her body to the floor. “Does the color work?”

Emma stepped in front of her and adjusted the dress a little. “Yes, I think it’s perfect. I think you should get it along with the gold jewelry they have up at the front. You know, the kind that looks almost like coins.”

Jen tilted her head. “Okay, I’ll try it on, but only if you try one on, too.”

Emma laughed. “If you insist.”
 

She looked through racks of dresses while Jen made her way to the tiny change room in the back corner of the shop. The sales clerk approached her and they chatted. Jen appeared to be enjoying herself.

A red dress caught Emma’s eye and she held it up to her body, wondering when she’d ever have a chance to wear such a pretty outfit. But, unwilling to mar even a second of Jen’s great mood, she decided to buy a dress, too.

Jen flounced out of the change room.
 

“Look Mom.” She spun in the dress, something Emma didn’t remember her unfeminine daughter ever doing.

“You look gorgeous,” Emma called out. “Try on another one. I think you should get a few. My treat.”

“Really? Are you sure, Mom?”

“Of course,” Emma said. “Here try this one.”
 

She walked over to Jen with a soft pink linen dress that would perfectly suit Jen’s long frame.
 

Jen sighed when she saw it. “Why don’t we have clothing like this in Canada?”

Emma laughed. “It wouldn’t work very well in the snow, would it?”

Jen smiled. “I know, but it’s just so … I don’t know …”

“Feminine?”

“Yeah, feminine,” Jen answered and swung back behind the curtain with a few dresses in her arms.

Emma enjoyed basking in the glow of Jen’s good mood. One of Jen’s smiles felt like the benediction of a queen. Emma only hoped she would keep it up all day.

They left the shop an hour later with several bags between them. Jen gave a little skip as they exited into the tiny street full of other shoppers.
 

“Wasn’t that fun? I never saw the draw before, but now I get how much fun shopping can be.”

“Connie is a crazy shopper. She hasn’t dragged you out on one of her mad rampages yet?”

“She’s tried a few times, but I think she finally gave up in disgust,” Jen chuckled.

They walked past a few interesting shops and then Jen stepped inside a shoe store.
 

“Come on, let’s check this out. Look at those sandals.”

Emma followed her daughter. She couldn’t wait to tell Connie about their trip and how good it had been for the both of them. She’d stood up to Jen and won her daughter’s respect. Emma puffed out her chest and moved through the tiny aisles, looking for her daughter.
 

She was excited about their trip to Nafplio the next day where they’d see her grandfather’s village. But, today was for shopping.

“Mom, look at this,” Jen called.

“Coming,” Emma said.

The bus rumbled along roads lined with orange groves and trees covered in bright green shiny leaves. The oranges had been picked in February or even as late as March.
 

Emma hoped to stay long enough to see the small green buds turn into large sunny globes. She’d waited a long time for a holiday and didn’t plan on cutting it short. The highway was wide and modern like those back home.

The houses and buildings along the way looked very different, however. The homes seemed to be built out of concrete and on concrete pillars which would be cooler in the heat. Some of them were fully finished on the top floor, but were empty on the bottom, as though they’d either run out of material or decided to stop building.

The bus was modern and luxurious, like those used for expensive tours in Canada. At thirteen Euros each, public transit between cities as far away as a two-hour drive, was cheap and easy. Emma’s trepidation about getting around Greece eased, and she thought about renting a car once they were in Nafplio so they would be more mobile.

Jen’s irritated expression had returned overnight. She sat with her arms crossed and stared straight ahead. It was as if the two days of fun in Athens had been nothing but a nice dream.

Emma watched out the window for the city to appear. After all the stories she’d heard as a child about the beautiful city of Nafplio, she hoped it lived up to her expectations. So far, Greece had been much more than her imagination could conjure. They’d enjoyed touring The Acropolis and the National Archeological Museum along with a myriad of shops lining the streets of the Monastiraki and Plaka districts.

Once in Nafplio, they collected their luggage silently. Emma waved toward the line of taxis across the street and Jen gave her a brisk nod. Emma wanted to explore Nafplio, but was determined to get to their destination. It wouldn’t be any fun trying to see sights with Jen not speaking.

They climbed into another pristine cab—she was now sure it was normal for Greece to have BMWs as cabs—and asked the driver to take them to Agios Adrianos. He spoke little English, but at least understood their destination.

The scenery passing by the windows was magnificent. Nafplio was everything Papous said and more. It was lush and green, palm trees everywhere, and had many beautiful old buildings. It also had a few run down areas, but that didn’t detract from her impression. It didn’t seem real, that she had actually arrived in Nafplio, the city of all her childhood stories.