Nine: Vengeance of the Warrior (18 page)

She was a work in progress.

Move on … Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Get your life back on track …
the Kalingan egged her on. She heard his chatter. It was a hypnotic chant that rang in her head. She succumbed. To channel her anger, Tejaswi joined Thai boxing, Japanese Ninjutsu and Korean Taekwondo courses. The Kalingan pushed her to strengthen her body and power up her muscles. Her energy increased and she began to feel good. After one of her classes, Tejaswi was heading home when another blackout hit her.

Two days later, she found herself in a small hotel room, sitting on a stool. How she came to be there, and why, she had no clue. The Kalingan was secretive and claimed it was to help her get rid of her fears. She looked at her phone—there were five missed calls. It was Anita. Tejaswi considered calling her back, but decided to catch up with her later.

First she had to find out where she was. Hesitantly, Tejaswi opened her room door. The dank corridor was dark and empty. There were sounds coming from below. It was late morning, she guessed. Her stomach growled. God knows when she had eaten, or what. The walls were tainted with paan spittle. She couldn’t understand why she would choose a place like this. She headed down a flight of rickety wooden stairs to a small square area, in the corner of which stood a desk. The man behind the desk looked up and smiled at her. ‘Hello madam,’ he said. ‘Need taxi to station?’

Tejaswi nodded hesitantly. The man whistled and a lanky boy raced in through a side door. ‘Madam needs taxi.’

‘Wait! How much do I owe you for the night?’ Her surroundings gave her an idea of where she was. Okay, she got it. There was a big sign that said Ellora Caves. She was 250 miles from Mumbai, without a clue of how she had travelled there, and why.

‘No need, madam, you paid yesterday. You said you would be returning to Mumbai today, remember?’

Tejaswi felt an odd sensation in her stomach. She was famished. ‘I need some breakfast. I’ll eat first, then get me a taxi.’

The man behind the desk pointed to a modest canteen. ‘Madam, go there. That’s where you eat every day while you study the maps.’

Tejaswi was fuming. It must be the Kalingan’s doing. He was using her to visit some of his old haunts. What was the point? Tejaswi would gladly agree to do his bidding but he should communicate with her before going ahead with his plans. He had become distant and her blackouts were more dangerous than before. She called her bodyguard, Raj Singh. He would know what had happened to her in the last few days. His phone was switched off.

She headed to the canteen. Feeling ravenous, she ordered a large breakfast and a cup of coffee. Tying up her hair into a neat ponytail, she sat down. When the food arrived, she ate as if she had not eaten for days. She had a nagging ache in her right shoulder and arm. What had she been up to? She glanced at the newspaper on the rack—she had lost two days.

After she finished, she headed out. The young boy was waiting for her. He ran towards the street and she followed him. Stepping outside, she blinked at the strong sunlight. There were signs offering visitors deals for tours to the Caves. A sensation of nausea hit her. She paused, waited for it to pass. A split-second memory snapped in her head. It was of a dead man—and blood—with darkness all around, as if she were inside a cave. Then nothing. Just the lingering sensation of discomfort. A taxi stopped in front of her. ‘This is it,’ the boy said, waiting for a tip. Tejaswi dropped some notes in his palm and he disappeared. She hopped into the taxi; the driver seemed to know where to go.

She leaned forward, tense. The driver gave her a friendly smile. ‘Finished your work, madam?’

‘What work? Yes, actually.’ Then, on a lark, she asked, ‘What are the places I visited these last few days?’

‘Madam, are you all right?’

‘Fine. Why?’ she asked anxiously.

‘You go to the same place every day. Not the caves, though. You came here two days ago and every day you visit the small market, madam. It is very strange, because that place is well known for tantriks. But you are never afraid, even at night when you come out of the side street. Then you come back to the motel.’

‘I see,’ Tejaswi replied. The driver looked at her curiously. But she didn’t venture to talk about her blackout with him. She really had to do something about it. And she mentally cursed the Kalingan.

While the driver headed to the railway station, she checked her large bag. It was stuffed with pieces of black paper, crystals, some beads, packets of ash and red vermilion. There was also a rolled-up sheet of paper. She unrolled it, but could not read it. It was in a language she could not identify. She dug deeper, rummaging past the few clothes she had packed. Her hand hit something hard. She felt the length of it. A chill of panic grew in her chest. The object was wrapped in a cloth. She pulled it out. Heart pounding, she removed the cloth with trembling fingers. Inside was a sharp blade, long and deadly—and stained with a dark maroon crust. Quickly, she wrapped it up and shoved it back into her bag.
What the hell was that? Kalingan, you have a lot of explaining to do
. No way was she going home with that thing. What had the Kalingan used it on? Why did she have it with her? She closed her eyes and tried to recall buying a train ticket to this place and checking into that seedy motel. Nothing. She drew a blank. It was as if her memory bank had been erased. Frustration seeped into her and she wanted to yell at the Kalingan. This time she would go see a psychiatrist or that Ojaa woman and get rid of the crazy spirit.

After paying the driver, she considered throwing the blade into a dustbin.

Wait … Think …
the Kalingan said.

‘Why?’

He explained and Tejaswi found herself smiling. She ran her hand over her bag with a sense of purpose and entered her compartment.

Tejaswi sat by the window and remained unnoticed. Passengers moved in and out, found their seats. She racked her brains, trying to remember what had happened. She stared at her hands—they were filthy. There was dirt lodged under her nails. Her fingers ached like she had been digging the earth for hours. She felt her eyes burn with tears. She had never felt so alone and so weirdly out of place in her life. She stared at her phone and saw Anita’s missed calls. She was almost ready to hit the call button.
No. Revealing your ordeal to Anita is a terrible idea, unless you want to sound like a mental wreck.
‘
Shit, that’s true
,’ she thought. Anita was the only friend she had. Eventually, she would be of help when Tejaswi faced Karl.

The train picked up its slow chugging pace. And then it moved faster at a comforting rhythm. The scenery gradually changed from buildings to the open countryside. The sight of fields of flattened grass, with a few animals grazing, offered solace, slowed her thoughts. Tejaswi took a deep breath. The air was pungent with body odour and the smell of food. She tuned in to the Kalingan. He was quiet. A nagging thought irritated her, hovered just out of the range of her consciousness. He was hiding something from her. It was just at the periphery, within her grasp, but irritatingly out of reach. Where was he when she needed him? ‘
I smell like I’ve been through a graveyard. Where have I been and why? I wish you would just come out and tell me. Don’t do this to me, Kalingan
,’ she thought.

Agreed …
The voice in her head was harsh and strong.
I know what you want to achieve … It will happen. But the blackouts are not my doing … Your brain is recovering and it is the result of your injury and your emotional trauma …

‘
Then what drives me to these places? What makes my hands filthy and my body smell of dirt? And why should I trust you?
’ she communicated with him again.

I am using your immobile state to activate our plans. I have contacted my men. They are powerful black-magic practitioners called Kala Yogis. These Yogis are spread out in different places. I have to meet them personally so that they are aware of my presence in you. They test you. And that means you have to sit in their caves and touch dirt and black dung. Maybe kill a human.

‘What?’ she said out loud. Her fellow passengers stared at her. Tejaswi ignored them.

Get a grip, Tejaswi. Killing is not a bad thing, especially if you have to grow strong and the person you kill is evil. What you have accomplished is not going to harm you, but will protect you. And empower you. The Ojaa magic makes you strong. The Kala Yogis are extremely powerful. They will visit you, but you must not be afraid. They will also work for you. Tell them what you want and it will happen. If you trust me, you will dismiss the spies you hired.

Tejaswi was sinking deeper into a world she didn’t understand. But she greeted it in the firm belief that she would achieve her goal. Trusting the Kalingan was part of the process. Emotionally, however, she was on tenterhooks.

After a tiring journey, Tejaswi was finally in front of her building, feeling like a zombie. She didn’t want to take a single step more, but the lift was taking ages to come down to the ground floor. It was mid-afternoon and she was hot and exhausted, in desperate need of a shower. Her whirring mind and endless questions seemed to lead to only one conclusion—she was heading towards insanity. She paced restlessly, feeling the onset of fresh tears.

Tejaswi was ready to burst. She needed to get home fast. The niggling doubt about her mental health had turned into a full-blown, irritating anger. The lift was taking exceedingly long. It was stuck on one of the floors.
Damn
. Unaware of a man standing just behind her, she continued to vent her frustration and pressed the call button repeatedly. The man watched with an amused expression, then tapped her on the shoulder. ‘Hello, haven’t seen you in a while,’ he said, as if he knew her.

Startled, Tejaswi took a few seconds to place the man.
Who was this guy? Maybe she had chatted with him some months ago. Her memory was also ditching her. Shit.

‘Yes, just returned from a trip,’ Tejaswi replied in a clipped tone. The man didn’t seem to notice her dishevelled appearance. He continued to grin and was standing too close for comfort. She felt the strain of mental exhaustion, as if she had been writing a three-hour math exam. She really wasn’t in the mood for inane conversation with a damn neighbour. Tejaswi stared at the panel, willing the lift to move faster from floor to floor. It was still on the third.

‘I like this pretence,’ he smiled sardonically. ‘The other night you couldn’t get enough of me.’ He leaned in closer. ‘You are a wild one! Wanna come up to my room now? A drink or two, have a little shower together … I’ve got a couple of hours off before I head back to the airport.’

Tejaswi stepped back as if she was facing a crazy man. No wonder a few days ago she was sore down there and couldn’t understand why. Another blackout. What the hell was the Kalingan doing to her? ‘I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else,’ she said.

The lift reached the ground floor and the doors slid open. He gestured. She entered and avoided his intense gaze. ‘I don’t understand what’s with you.’ He sounded miffed.

‘I’m sorry,’ Tejaswi said and turned away. He gave her a dirty look before he got off on the fifth floor. She was trembling uncontrollably.

‘What the fuck, Kalingan!’ she yelled.

Tejaswi got off on her floor, managed to find her keys and entered her home. Wild and angry, she hurled a glass vase and whatever she could lay her hands on at the walls, shouting obscenities at the Kalingan. Exhausted, she dropped to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably, hugging herself. The shattered glass cut into her feet and legs. She grabbed one of the shards and held it against her wrist.

Stop!
The Kalingan’s voice was loud enough to burst her eardrums.

‘You fucking spirit! Get out of me! You have humiliated me. You took over my body, my emotions completely and made me fuck a strange man. Who the bloody hell are you and how dare you take such liberties? You were supposed to help me!’

She pressed the edge of the shard against her wrist, it started to bleed.

Go ahead, kill yourself. You’ve got no balls to face the enemy. Your body is beautiful and you deprive it of a man’s love. That man treated you well, treated you with respect. He didn’t violate you. And your body enjoyed the communion with him. You needed to release the toxins that you have built up inside you. I did it because it was necessary to purge your bitterness. You were stuck in the past. You needed to move on.

‘And this is your way of doing that? I am a woman, I have my self-respect.’

Fool! You are an emotional being, you have desires. You must face your feelings. You suppress everything. To purge the pain, you have to face it head on. You cower in fear at the slightest problem. You disappoint me. Tej, I thought you were a fiery one, you have a lot of fire inside you, but you show none of it to help yourself. If you are hell-bent on destroying yourself, then do it. I will find another host.

‘Leave me, then. Let me live in my hell. Who are you to tell me what to do with my life?’

You asked for me. You wanted a power that would fight your battle for you. That man hurt you, killed your father, and we can destroy him completely. But you have to be stronger than this.

‘You don’t understand what I feel.’

If I were you, I would welcome the feelings of anger and fear. Then let it become your power to fight. Face it, woman, face it. Get on with your life and exact the revenge you seek. You want to be a coward and ruin your life? Then go ahead. I helped you push out your pent-up anger and emotions. Now you are ready to move on. Trust me. I will make you stronger and more in control of your mind. Do you want your revenge or don’t you?

The glass point hovered above her other wrist. Blood dripped down her left hand. Tejaswi looked at the drops of red on the marble floor. She flung the shard of glass away.