Nine, Ten ... Never Sleep Again (11 page)

Anna was
staring at
the bike, then back at Valdemar. She couldn't
believe what she saw. "You made this?" She asked.

The boy nodded. Anna touched the new handlebars
that Valdemar had somehow managed to put on the new bike. They were extremely
long and bent in a u-shape.

"I made it myself. Using dad's
welder."

"You know how I hate it when you use that
thing," she said, without being really angry. This was truly spectacular.
You couldn't even tell that the handlebars didn't originally belong to the
bike.

"But how … how does it work?" She
asked anxiously. It was hard to picture how Valdemar was supposed to use this.

"Take it outside and I'll show you,"
he said.

"I can put it on the grass so you won't
hurt yourself when you fall," Anna said feeling very nervous about the
whole thing.

She dragged the bike out of the garage and onto
the grass where she put it up against the big birch tree in the front yard.
Then she turned and looked at Valdemar with her heart in her throat.

All this for what? To impress
his dad? To show him he is good enough? That he is worthy of his love?

Anna felt the tears press from behind her eyes,
but held them back. This was a happy moment for Valdemar. He didn't need to see
her cry. Valdemar turned and smiled at his mother. She smiled back and gave him
a thumbs-up. By putting his head on the handlebars and using his mouth and
toes, he climbed onto the bike. Anna jumped forward when he was about to slip
down, but stopped herself.

He can do this. You know he
can. If he wants it bad enough. You know he can. He has proven it before.

Valdemar managed somehow, someway to get to the
seat and sit on it, then he bent forward enough for his shoulders to reach the
extremely long handlebars. Anna gasped as he put his feet on the pedals, set
off and, very shakily, rode across the lawn.

Oh my God, he's going to kill
himself on that thing
.

But to her amazement, he didn't. He didn't even
fall. Using his head and shoulders to steer, he bicycled down the street,
turned around and came back. Anna stood with both her hands covering her mouth.
She had stopped breathing and everything inside of her was frozen.

Valdemar rode the thing all the way back on the
grass, before he tipped over and landed with the bike op top of him. Anna
stormed to him, thinking she could hear him cry, but as she came close, she
realized he was, in fact, laughing. The wondrousness of a child's laughter made
everything inside of her come alive again and, while helping him get back up,
she started laughing too. Laughing with relief and hope thinking that maybe,
just maybe it was going to be all right after all. He was going to be alright.
Valdemar was not pitiful, he was one of the strongest children this earth was
ever going to see.

"Did you see me, Mom? Did you see it?"

"I did, sweetheart. I saw you. I saw
everything. It was amazing. You're amazing, Valdemar. You truly are."

Then they laughed again. Finally Anna took the
boy inside and brought out ice cream, Valdemar's favorite, and they ate it
talking all afternoon about how amazing it felt for him to be able to move
around using a bike. How much freedom it gave him.

"It was almost like flying, Mommy."

The next day, he was practicing his biking while
Anna watched with anxious eyes and lots of gasps when, all of a sudden, a car
drove down the street and into the driveway. Anna's heart dropped.

It was Michael.

He got out of the car and looked at Valdemar as
he rode the bike into the driveway and jumped off with a huge smile.

"Did you see it Daddy? Did you see
me?" He asked hopefully.

Anna's heart was pounding awaiting the answer.
Not a sound left Michael's lips, so Valdemar tried again.

"I'm riding my new bike, Daddy. Just like
an ordinary kid I'm riding a bike, a real bike, aren't you proud?"

Come one Michael. Just say
something nice for once. Just look at the boy and talk to him. Just this once,
you bastard.

But Michael didn't say anything to Valdemar.
Instead he turned his head and faced Anna with the words:

"I'm leaving you."

We checked in
to
Hotel Mercury in Silkeborg around five thirty in
the afternoon. We agreed to meet for dinner in the restaurant at six thirty
after taking a rest. I sat on the bed with my cellphone in my hand finding the
courage to call Peter and let him know what was going on. I had wanted to wait
till I was alone, since I didn't want Sune to know if Peter got upset. It was
Julie who picked up the phone. My heart was beating. Hearing her voice made me
miss her like crazy.

"Hi sweetie. How is everything?"

"Great," she said.

"What are you doing?"

"Playing Mindskill on the iPad."

I smiled. That was all she did lately. Playing
Mindskill or watching videos on YouTube of other people playing it. I didn't
get it. To me it was just a world of big blocks and it seemed really boring,
but all the kids loved it. "Of course you are. What is your father
doing?"

"Taking a shower. He’s been painting all
day. He said he was going to make pancakes for dinner."

"Oh, did he now?"

"Yeah. He also said you couldn't do
anything about it since you weren't here."

I laughed. "Well he is right. I guess it
will do for tonight. Your dad makes wonderful pancakes. That's the one thing he
can actually make."

"I know. So when are you coming back? Dad
said, since you weren't here yet, you probably wouldn’t make it for
dinner."

"He's right. I have to stay the night. Will
you be alright alone?" I asked.

"I'm not alone. Dad's here, remember?"
She said.

"Of course. Just making sure you don't miss
me too much."

"You have high thoughts about yourself,
Mommy. Of course I miss you, but I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yes, baby. I'm doing a late interview here
tonight, then I'll sleep and go right back to Brabrand tomorrow morning."

"Is Sune with you?" She asked.

I paused. "Yes. Yes he is. We're working
together."

"What about Tobias?"

"He's at home with a nanny," I
answered. "Sune will go home to be with him tomorrow morning."

"Oh okay." Her voice sounded
disappointed. I wondered if she had thought I would bring Sune and Tobias with
me back to the island. "Here is daddy."

"Hi there." Peter sounded happy.

"Hi. Listen. They want me to stay the
night. I have an interview late tonight. I'll be back tomorrow instead."

Peter went quiet. A million thoughts ran through
my mind while trying to figure out what he was thinking and feeling.
"Okay," he said. "I had a feeling that it was going to be late
since we hadn't heard from you and you hadn't come back yet. But I hadn't
expected you to stay away all night. I guess I'll have to live with it,
then."

"It's just that they have landed an
interview with the kidney-guy and he is only going to be around for tonight.
Tomorrow he is going back to Roskilde."

"Well you do what you gotta do. We'll be
here waiting for you." Peter sighed and paused. "Say, is Sune staying
at the hotel with you?"

I closed my eyes. "Yes." I exhaled and
rubbed my forehead. "He is staying in another room."

"Well I sure hope he is," Peter said.
"Why wouldn't he be?"

"No. That's not what I meant …"

"No, I know what you meant. You think I'm
jealous, don't you?" Peter sounded offended, all of a sudden.

"Well … I guess."

"Do I have any reason to be jealous?"
He asked.

I froze. I wanted so badly to tell him he
didn't, but I knew it would be a lie. Seeing Sune again had awoken a lot of
emotions in me that I didn't want him to know about. Feelings that I hardly
wanted to admit to myself that I had.

"No. No. Of course not. I'll see you
tomorrow."

"See you then."

"So how
are Julie
and your dad?"

Sune looked at me after we had ordered and the
waiter had left. I felt like I was already cheating on Peter just by sitting in
the hotel restaurant with Sune.

I smiled. "They're both fine. Well that's
not completely true. Julie is great. My dad's health is still not too good.
He's had a lot of infections and problems with his bladder lately. I keep
hoping it'll get better, and some days he's doing really great, but then a new
infection comes along that he has trouble beating and we're back to where we
started. He had a bladder infection just last week that …" I paused and
looked up at Sune. "I'm sharing a little too much here. You don't want to
hear those details."

Sune raised his hand to stop me. "No, I do.
I love your dad, you know that. I don't mind hearing details."

"Okay. Well it's not something we should
talk about at the dinner table, but he is fighting, and hopefully winning, but
it is getting harder for him to do simple things, like walking on his own,
getting out of the house and so on. I have my sister looking out for him while
we're gone, but I don't know if … I mean, she has small kids and a fulltime job
and all …"

"I can check in on him when I get back to Karrebaeksminde
if you'd like."

I look at him and our eyes locked. "Would
you do that? It would be a great help for me. I am so concerned
constantly."

Sune smiled. The waiter brought our food.
"Of course, Rebekka. I'd do anything for you."

I sipped my wine, feeling my heart racing. I had
no idea what to say to that, so I started eating instead. The duck was
terrible. I took one bite, then looked at Sune who had picked the same as me. I
chewed and chewed, but it was so hard to chew I wondered if I would ever be
able to swallow it. Sune looked like he had the same troubles. Then I laughed.
Sune chuckled and finally swallowed. I did the same, before we both flushed it
down with the red wine.

"How can anyone ruin duck?" I
whispered and leaned over the table.

Sune laughed. "I don't know. You'd have to
be pretty good, I guess."

I chuckled and pushed the meat aside, then tried
the potatoes. They weren't as bad as the meat, but they weren't good either.

"Wow. I never thought I would ever taste
anything worse than the food I had in juvenile prison," Sune said.

I burst into laughter. I looked at his hand
missing the two fingers that he had lost in prison when he was doing time for
hacking as a teenager. I had heard all his stories from the inside and knew all
about how tough it had been on him. In a very few years, I had gotten to know
him better than I knew my own husband, who never told me anything from his
past. I had to always drag it out of him. Sune wasn't like that. Sune could
talk about his emotions, about stuff he had gone through. Peter couldn't. Peter
had grown up in an environment where you weren't allowed to discuss your
feelings. Where it was considered as a weakness. That much he had told me, but
that was about it. I never met his parents since they lived in Singapore now,
where his father had his business. I had met his brother on one occasion, but
only briefly when he was in Aarhus many years ago. I felt like Peter didn't
want me to know his family and, in the beginning of my marriage, it annoyed me
and made me feel like he was embarrassed by me, but after some time, I realized
that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn't me he was embarrassed by; it was
his family.

Sune had become silent. He was looking at me
with serious eyes. I sensed he was going to say something. My heart was beating
fast and I felt my cheeks blush. I thought like crazy about something to say to
break the silence.

"So how is Tobias?" I asked.

"Good. He misses Julie, though."

I nodded and drank. "I know. Julie misses
him too. She was just asking for him on the phone when I was in my room. She
thought he was with you here."

"That's sweet."

Sune exhaled. "Rebekka … I …" He
grabbed my hand.

I shook my head and pulled my hand away.
"Don't Sune. Don't do this."

Sune pulled back and bit his lip. "Okay. I
get it. I'm gonna leave it there. This is the way you want it. I get it."

A new silence broke out between us. A waiter
approached us. He looked at me. "Mrs. Franck?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Fenger is waiting for you in the
bar."

I looked at my watch. "He’s early," I
said.