Nine Lives (14 page)

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Book Club Discussion Questions

What do you believe is the primary reason Laina and Faith made allegations against their father, Tom? Did they have the same reason, or were their motivations different? How so?

Did Heather make the right choice in standing by her husband, despite Laina and Faith’s claims of sexual abuse? What motivated her to stand by Tom, and is she a good mother despite this decision? Is it possible to be a good parent without standing behind your child unconditionally, regardless of your own sacrifices?

Did Laina and/or Faith ever feel sincere remorse for their allegations against Tom? Why or not? Would they do things differently if they could turn back the clock? If so, what would change?

Who is the biggest victim in
Nine Lives
? Who is/are the villain or villains? Who is the hero of this novel and why?

Can the Nelson family eventually heal, or are the lives of its nine children irrevocably damaged by the girls’ accusations?

What role did religion play in helping and hurting the Nelson family?

Do you believe Faith’s allegation that she was statutorily raped by Slash and that he could be the father of her unborn child, or is this claim another of her tricks?

What lessons did the Nelson daughters—Faith and Laina—learn in
Nine Lives
?

If Heather and Tom Nelson could go back in time, what changes would they make in their parenting styles, if any? What would you suggest?

In what ways did Harley’s true accusations and survival of sexual abuse mold Laina and Faith’s plan to get their father in trouble?

If Tom Nelson is released from prison, now that the girls have recanted their claims, how will his relationship with Heather and their seven other children change? How should they change?

Should minors be prosecuted for making false allegations of abuse? Why or why not?

What problems did
Nine Lives
shed on the family court and juvenile probation systems? What strengths did it highlight?

What would you like to see as outcomes for each of the members of the Nelson family?

Should Heather Nelson have been found negligent for her failure to believe her daughters following Tom’s conviction? Why do you think she was never charged? Is a parent obligated to believe his or her child after a conviction has been made in a sex abuse case?

What role did Juliet play in helping or hurting the Nelson family as a unit? Should social workers have this much influence in the lives of the families they are assigned to? Why or why not?

Does the system give children too much or not enough power? What changes should be made and why?

What will happen to Faith’s baby? What should happen to Faith’s baby?

Does Heather have anything left to prove? If so, what?

In what ways will the lives of Jeremiah and Mary be forever changed because of their sisters’ actions? What good changes may come of their life paths? What could go wrong?

Resources

Help prevent child abuse of any kind!

If you or someone you know is or might be a victim of any type of child abuse, get help from a trusted adult or police. Or, if you hear about abuse of a friend or family member, don’t keep secrets. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Never make allegations of abuse to achieve power. Whether a child is making a false report on a parent or other adult, or an adult is using children and false allegations to gain power in a custody dispute, these situations hurt real victims. Don’t contribute to making victims’ true accounts of abuse be questioned or doubted by wasting resources on false allegations for any reason.

If you see or hear something that feels off or wrong, it never hurts to report. Call your local child protective services office or police department to file an anonymous report of suspected abuse.

The following are websites and toll-free hotlines for more information on parenting, at-risk kids, child abuse, and child abuse prevention:

Child Abuse

Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline

1-800-4-A-CHILD

(1-800-422-4453)

www.childhelp.org

Child Abuse Awareness

www.child-abuse-blog.blogspot.com

Child Abuse Prevention & Education

www.abusewatch.net

Child Care

Child Care Aware

1-800-424-2246

www.childcareaware.org

Lawyers for Children

www.lawyersforchildren.org

Parenting Teens

www.parentingteens.com

Teen Boot Camps

www.teenbootcamps.com

Resolution Ranch - Troubled Teens Boot Camp

www.resolutionranch.com

Mental Health

FindCounseling.com

Phone: 708.445.9800

Toll-free: 877.735.6442

Fax: 312.275.7369

www.findcounseling.com

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Telephone 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

TDD 1-800-787-3224

www.ndvh.org

Missing Children

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

1-800-THE-LOST

(1-800-843-5678)

www.missingkids.com

Runaways

National Runaway Switchboard

1-800-621-4000

1-800-RUNAWAY

www.nrscrisisline.org

General Guidelines on How to Talk to Your Younger Child About Body Safety

Pick a quiet time to talk without distractions. Doing so will help ensure you have your child’s full attention.

Talk about which parts of the body are private and which are not. Use whatever language is normally used in your household. Some parents are most comfortable using the analogy that any part of the body covered by a bathing suit is considered private.

Discuss what is okay and not okay as far as touching goes. Make it clear that it’s not okay for anyone to touch a child’s private parts, including other children. Ask your child in an open manner if he or she has ever been touched. If yes, ask who, but don’t ask direct questions such as “Has Uncle Rob ever touched your private parts?” If you suspect your child is a victim of abuse, ask in general about different people that may have come into contact with him or her. Leave specific questions for professionals trained in forensic interviewing for suspected sexual abuse.

Talk about exceptions to this rule: doctors as part of an exam, children touching themselves, caregivers assisting with toileting or bathing. It’s important to explain to a child what is normal activity as opposed to contact with private areas not in the context of assisting a child in these ways.

Talk about what to do if someone does touch your child. Help him or her identify who he or she could tell. Make it clear that they can always tell you, and you will never be mad at your child for doing so.

Show support for whatever your child tells you in this conversation. Try not to show you are upset, as this could impact a child’s comfort level in being fully honest with you.

Tell your child it’s never safe to go into another person’s home or car without your permission. Make it clear that this includes neighbors, family, friends, and acquaintances. Explain that it is your job to protect your child, and part of that is knowing at all times where he or she is and with whom.

Statistics from Darkness to Light, www.d2l.org

One in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by the age of 18.

One in five children are solicited sexually while on the Internet.

Nearly seventy percent of all reported sexual assaults occur to children under 17.

Thirty to forty percent of victims are abused by a family member.

Fifty percent of children are abused by someone outside of the family whom the family knows and trusts.

About forty percent of children are abused by other, older and larger children, whom they know.

Only ten percent of children are sexually abused by strangers.

Acknowledgements

I could not have written
Nine Lives
without the encouragement and support of my family. I thank you for helping me juggle dual careers and interests while watching you grow. You’ve been there as I’ve debated blindly following my heart versus protocols in a system that doesn’t always make sense and where justice sometimes plays second seat to politics. I’m proud to be a part of your lives and wish you continued joys, successes, and growth. I love you. Thank you, my one true love, for encouraging me to do the right thing, even when I find myself standing alone. With you by my side, I’ll never truly be alone.

I needed to write this book, if only to better understand those we, in the business of protecting children, are often quickest to judge. The wider my eyes open, the more I’ll be able to help those most truly in need. Thank you to all who’ve encouraged me to stay open-minded as I continue to search for truth and justice; things we all deserve but often are too difficult to achieve.

Lastly, I want to thank my author friends, who have encouraged me to continue writing despite self-doubt. Thank you to Sara Schoen, a talented young woman whose sincerity gives me hope for the next generation. Much appreciation to Sophia Valentine, Taylor Henderson, and Bradon Nave, who keep me laughing during crunch times and deadlines. Special thanks to Gloria Herrmann and Haley Despard, who go above and beyond in supporting other authors. And to Deborah Roach and Carissa Lynch, who inspire me to be better. Thanks to all those at team Limitless, especially my editor Toni Rakestraw, who makes the editing process painless. Lastly, thanks to Robin Harper of Wicked by Design, my cover designer, who never ceases to get it just right.

About the Author

Erin Lee is a freelance writer and therapist living with her family in Southern New Hampshire. She is the author of
Crazy Like Me
, a novel published in 2015 by Savant Books and Publications, LLC and
Wave to Papa
, 2015, by Limitless Publishing. She has also published numerous magazine articles, particularly on the topic of mental illness. She holds a master’s degree in psychology and works with at-risk families and as a court-appointed special children’s advocate. She’s currently working on a new series
, Lola, Party of Eight
, with Limitless. The first book in that series,
Alters
, releases March 29, 2016. When she’s not busy learning and writing about the human mind and behaviors, she’s obsessively taking pictures of her rescue dog and muse, Milo. Her work can be found at www.authorerinlee.com.