Nillium Neems (5 page)

We stood there facing each other for a
moment, until I broke the standoff by waving awkwardly at the
Killer.

"Hi, I’m Nillium Neems. Um, just because
you’re all... monstrous, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Maybe we
just got off on the wrong foot. What do you say we start over?"

Its dagger shot towards me and I ducked,
rolling under it and unfortunately, closer to my adversary. So I
kicked him in the foot. I can’t say it helped much. All that muscle
kind of protected the freak and all I did was hurt my own foot in
the process.

As the Killer threw back its head and roared
once more, I ran, limping slightly and making small whimpering
sounds. I make no claims to bravery.

I fled down the same turn of the hallway
that Derrick had taken, hoping there would be a chance to lose my
pursuer. Two orderlies were rushing down the hall, batons drawn,
curious to see what all the commotion was about.

They stopped in surprise at the sight of me
and I used their moment of distraction to my advantage, ducking
between them and continuing to run, heading for another turn in the
hallway.

Another orderly running this way, doors on
all sides of me, a Killer and two men behind me. I was running out
of options. I lunged through the nearest door, praying it was open,
and found myself in Lana’s room.

The floor and walls covered in chalk
drawings, she sat in the middle of it all with a pad of paper and a
huge smile, creating a work of art with her new pencil.

"Thank you for the pencil, Nil!" She said
happily, waving at me. "It’s my new best friend and it listens to
all my worries."

"Lana, you have to help!" I shouted,
pressing my back against the door, hoping against hope that my
diminutive frame could hold back my pursuers.

She just stared at me, and a moment later I
was hurled backwards as the door burst open. I flew through the air
and slammed into the nearest wall. I hadn’t even gotten to my feet
before men were all over me, hitting me again and again.

"Lana!" I screamed in pain as she just
stared. After a minute she went back to drawing, as if none of us
had even been there.

I’m not sure how long they beat me, it
couldn’t have been for more than a few minutes. But it seemed like
hours. Dr. Higgins rushed through the door after a while, stabbing
me with a syringe and pumping some kind of tranquilizer into my
blood stream.

Just before sleep took me, I saw Derrick
crouched outside the door, just out of sight, a vicious smirk upon
his evil mug. I’d fallen right into his hands. There had been no
freedom, just a chance to get me into deep trouble. Shucks.

Well, I guess looking on the bright side the
Killer didn’t seem to have followed me. My luck still sucks
eggs.

Nil, Out.

Day 16

Yesterday set a new record for
unpleasantness. After I woke up from being tranquilized, I spent
the whole day strapped to a chair being interrogated. Mainly by my
best buddy, Dr. Higgins, though he had the help of another random
doctor or two.

They wanted to know how I had escaped my
room and most of all, why and how had I killed Doctor Peabody. I
tried explaining that I was blameless, that Derrick and the Killer
were to blame. I even told them that I had walked in on the Killer
stabbing another patient to, hoping to gain some honesty points
with them.

Dr. Higgins raised an eyebrow.

"You killed someone else too, aside from Dr.
Peabody?"

"NO!" I shouted, exasperated. "Aren’t you
listening? I’m telling you it was the Killer, the monster with the
snakey dagger thing. It’s all Derrick’s fault because he lied to
me. Him and the Book."

"What book?" Higgins asked mildly.

So I had to explain everything, against my
better judgment. I told him all about Derrick, Mousy, the Book, my
room and all the strangeness. I told him about the Hooded Man and
about Monsters, there was not a thing that I left out save for the
disappearing hole in my wall, which somehow I felt was for me alone
to know.

It made me angry the way he
patiently listened. I could tell he wasn’t buying a word of it. I
had just started to tune out his voice as he began to go on about
how none of what I’d seen was real, and I was mentally disturbed.
My mind was just starting to focus on fish in a basket and a lake
of living water for some reason, when I was brought sharply back to
reality. Higgins had just said that the room where I had met the
Killer did not exist.
That
grabbed my attention.

I’d always been accused of seeing stuff that
wasn't real, but it had always been people or things. Never had it
been a whole room! More than slightly scared, I wondered what kind
of sick games the Monsters were playing with me. If they had it in
their power to make a whole room disappear, then they had a lot
more power than I had ever imagined.

After grilling me for another hour, Higgins
and company transferred me to a new room, since I’m sure they now
considered me a very dangerous patient after I allegedly killed
Doctor Peabody. Which is where I am now as I write about
yesterday’s events, sitting forlornly on a mat on the floor and
scribbling away at my sad tale. I’d lost my little journal during
my tussle with the Killer, which I am not happy about. I’m writing
now with a pencil stolen from Dr. Higgins office while he
questioned me, along with a notebook that I’d nicked from the same.
As previously mentioned, I’m a very sneaky person.

Anyways, now to write of my new room. It...
kind of sucks. The only furnishings are a single mat and a drain in
the floor of one corner. I guess they couldn’t afford to install a
toilet. I’m not allowed any possessions, so other than my stolen
notebook, I have nothing to stave off the boredom.

My missing Snoopy Cap is what really upsets
me though. I was actually crying earlier today, and expect I will
be later on. As I sat and thought about the purpose of tears and
what use they serve, debating if I should cry some more, the door
opened.

I looked up and in walked my new doctor. He
was tall, thin, and stoop-shouldered, as if ready to pounce at any
moment. He both reminded me of a scarecrow and a vulture, and I
knew in that instant that my life was about to get a lot worse.

"Hi!" I said, summoning my annoyingly
cheerful tone of voice and waving. "I’m Nillium Neems. Are you my
new roommate?"

Two orderlies stepped into the room behind
him, batons drawn. I figured they must be there for his protection,
since I was after all a murderous psychopath in their eyes.

"I am Doctor Sirius. The Director of Atrium
Psychiatric Ward has deemed you beyond the reach of Doctors Flagham
and Higgins. He has tasked me with correcting your behavior."

Sirius spoke in a flat, emotionless voice,
like a professor long since bored by his own class.

"And I suppose abusing my rights and
sticking me in this prison cell is your first step?"

Sirius waved a hand at his minions who
stepped forward and latched onto me, holding me down. I struggled
but it wasn’t any use. I’m small and they weren’t. He then pulled a
syringe from his coat and injected it into my arm. Not stabbing me,
like the doctors had done before, but professional and calmly
detached, which was somehow scarier.

"That is Olanzapine," he explained, "it
should help considerably in reducing your psychotic
episodes."
"But I like my episodes," I replied in a whining tone. "I figured
if I had enough of them I’d be all set to start my own TV
series."

Dr. Sirius didn’t humor me. Usually when I’m
smart-alecky about something it either confuses or enrages people.
I wasn’t used to my remarks just being ignored.

"Someone will be back to monitor your
progress in twenty four hours," Sirius continued flatly as he
turned and walked to the door. He left without a further word,
leaving me in the clutches of their poisonous drugs.

I curled up in a little ball on my cot,
shivering. Whatever they’d given me was not Olanzapine. I was used
to that drug. It was a pretty standard one that was used to treat
Schizophrenia and other mental disorders. They had given it to me
on and off over the years, and the worst it did was cause
occasional insomnia.

This new drug, however, whatever its true
name might be, made me feel weird just minutes after taking it. My
whole body started shaking and trembling, with my poor heart
hammering at way above the normal beat. I lay down on my cot and
seriously contemplated suicide, wondering what the point of
anything was. Anything at all.

I miss my old room. As bad as it was, it was
my home. And I suspect it’s going to be a long, long time until
they let me interact with other patients again. Between being
blamed for Peabody’s murder and my attempt to strangle the Monster
out in the Yard, I am now considered a dangerous patient. And
dangerous patients do not last long, before something more drastic
than a bit of electroshock therapy or suspicious pills are
employed.

I lay my head back, still shaking, on my
tiny little cot and poor excuse for a pillow. I slept, eventually,
but I did not dream. I never dream. Thank God for that at least,
for it means the nightmares can only come for me when I’m
awake...

Nil, Out...

Day 30

Nillium Neems. Nil for short. I’m not sure
what the ‘Neems’ means, but I know what the ‘Nil’ means sure
enough. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. Rather a fitting name. Kind of
sums up my life.

Abandoned by friends, family and God, not a
thing to her name, she rots in eternal silence. Alone and forsaken,
nothing is her name and nothing is all she is. Nillium Neems.

Okay, maybe that was a tad
dramatic. But the last two weeks have been boring without much to
do but think. So I’ve been fantasizing about my situation, trying
to give it a brighter outlook. Daydreaming if you will, which means
I
can
dream
afterall. So there Dr. Higgins. Ha!

Speaking of which, I have had... no
visitors. Other than the guys who feed me (when they remember) but
they just shove the food through a slot in the door. Makes me feel
like a dog. And not a happy fluffy one at that! Dr. Sirius never
even came back to check on how his poison worked, unless he did
while I was sleeping. Which is a creepy thought.

As my thoughts dwelt upon my loneliness
here, the door opened without warning and in stepped none other
than Dr. Flagham.

"Hammy?" I said, rising up to a sitting
position on my cot.

He smiled, though it was a bit strained, and
actually took a seat next to me on the floor.

"How are you, Nil?"

"Pretty bad, actually," I replied with a
grimace. I eyed him a bit warily. He’d always been nice to me, but
he was still a doctor.

"I had no hand in this, Nil, in moving you
here. They only recently told me where they’d moved you."

"And why would they hide things from you,
Hammy? You’re one of them."

He sighed deeply.

"I’m not exactly popular here. Some people
believe my methods of dealing with the patients are too soft."

"Are they?"

"I believe they are just, and that’s enough
for me. That’s why I’m here, Nil."

I waited expectantly for him to
continue.

"Of all the doctors, I would say I probably
know you the best. Would you agree with me on that one, Nil?"

"Alright," I said, nodding. "Sounds fair
enough. So what does that mean?"

"You have a lot of personality, Nil, but I
could never imagine you stabbing a doctor through the heart. You
didn’t even know Peabody. He served in the opposite end of the
Ward. Likewise, concerning the patient in the Yard that you are
accused of trying to kill, I have never known you to commit such
acts of violence."

"You think I’m innocent?" I replied, letting
out a breath. Hammy’s support really caught me off-guard. He was a
little bit clueless, considering that I have been and am, very
capable of acting violently. Though I have very good reasons for
everyone I have killed or attempted to kill.

Hammy nodded slowly.

"I believe you are innocent of what you are
accused of. I at least want to hear from your own lips what really
happened. How did Peabody die?"

Well now I was in a quandary. I briefly had
Hammy’s trust, or at least, partial trust, yet if I spoke the truth
he’d think me insane. My frantic little mind was halfway through
concocting a story about how a deranged Harold killed Peabody, when
a beeping sound started up.

With a look of annoyance, Hammy pulled a
small pager from his pocket and glanced at it.

"They’re calling me. Some kind of meeting."
He got to his feet, but seemed reluctant to leave.

"I don’t want you to get in trouble, Hammy,"
I said, stalling for time until I could come up with a decent
lie.

"Alright. Yes, I’d best leave. I will talk
to the others and try to get you moved back to your old room.
They’ll probably tighten security for a while, things will
certainly be different, but if I can at least get you moved back I
think you’ll be happier."

He was halfway to the door when I spoke.

"Hey, Hammy?"

"Yes?" he replied, turning.

"Can you try and get my Snoopy Cap back?
That alone would really lift my spirits."

"I-I can try. I can’t make any promises, but
I can try."

His pager beeped again, and with a panicked
look and not another word, he turned and left. I believe him that
he will try to help. It makes me at least a little bit happier.
We’ll see if he can follow through or just ends up letting me down
like everyone else does.

Nil, Out.