Nightmares from Within (24 page)

Even though he told me several times a day that he loved me, he never once made me feel pressured to say it in return. I knew my feelings for him hadn’t changed but I just had too much coming at me from every direction. I had enough trouble just making it through the day. I didn’t have it in me to stop and think about what my feelings for Jordan meant right then.

I returned his smile with one of my own, only difference was I couldn’t make mine reach my eyes. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“It’s always a shame to see such a beautiful woman so unhappy.”

I gave a small laugh. “You’re very sweet for saying that.”

“Well it’s true. If there’s anything I can do to put a real smile on that face, please let me know.”

“Thank you…”

“Bryan,” he offered as he held out his hand for me to shake.

I took his hand and shook it politely. “Thank you, Bryan. That’s very kind of you.”

“No problem,” he looked at my name tag. “Taylor.”

The rest of my day went about as same as the morning had. I walked through the day not really paying attention to much of anything, simply faking my way through it.

By the time I got home I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. All I wanted to do was soak in a nice, warm bath before crawling into bed and hopefully passing out.

As soon as I opened my front door I realized those plans were a bust.

“Seriously?” I asked as I looked at Jordan. He was in my kitchen, cooking dinner like he owned the place. My stomach let out a groan of hunger when the delicious smell of whatever he was cooking hit my senses, but I wasn’t about to admit that to him. “I’ve had a bad day; an even shittier week and you just wrecked my plans for the evening of a bubble bath and bed. How did you even get in here?”

Jordan put the spoon he was using to stir some kind of sauce on the countertop and turned to me. He at least had the courtesy to look guilty. “Gary let me in. He and I both agree that you shouldn’t be alone right now. We think you could use the company.”

I threw my purse down on the bar separating the kitchen from the living area with a huff. “What I could use is some peace and quiet,” I declared. “But it’s pretty clear that you and Daniel…and apparently Gary…aren’t going to give me that.”

Jordan came around the island to where I was standing and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter and we were at eye level. “Look, I know Daniel and I are driving you a little crazy…”

“Understatement. Of. The. Century,” I interrupted.

He ran the tips of his fingers along the tops of my arms and goose bumps broke out over my skin. “Okay, so we’re driving you a
lot
crazy,” he conceded. “I know you’re a private person and that we’re stepping on your toes but it’s almost over, I promise.” He whispered the last few words and pressed his lips against mine. I got so lost in the kiss that I almost missed what he’d just said. I jerked myself back from him so I could see his face.

“Wait. What do you mean it’s almost over? Did you find this guy?”

The thought of Cassie’s killer being caught was like a jolt to my system. I hadn’t realized until that moment how badly I wanted The Poet found. Unfortunately, street justice wasn’t an option and since I wasn’t what you could consider a vigilante, all I could do was hold out hope that something horrible happened to him in prison.

“We’re looking into a potential lead,” he said, still touching me. It seemed that if we were in the same room together Jordan always found a reason to touch me. His hands were somewhere on my body at all times. It was like he was afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t feel my skin against his. It felt like an electric jolt whenever he touched me.

“What lead?” I asked, trying to sound unaffected by his closeness.

“Well, remember that door you told me about in your vision?”

I nodded my head as I recalled the last vision I had of Cassie.

“I got to thinking about it and I realized, the kind of door in your vision sounds like a commercial grade impact door. That’s not something typically you see in a residential home and most of the time they have to be professionally installed. We’re looking into who’s had a door like that installed in their house in the last year.”

My mouth dropped open and my eyes bugged out. “Holy shit! Jordan, that’s fantastic!”

He hit me with that brilliant dimpled smile of his and a shiver shot up my spine. “It’s all because of you, baby. We wouldn’t have anywhere to go with this case if it weren’t for you. You helped us.”

My mouth went dry and I felt that familiar ache between my thighs that only Jordan could cause. “Why do you do that?” I asked quietly when his thumb brushed along my jaw line.

His eyes were on my lips when he asked, “Do what?”

“Touch me.” At my answer, his gaze darted from my mouth to my eyes and the passion in the beautiful blue-green depths was so intense I couldn’t look away. “You…you always find a reason to touch me.” My breathing was growing erratic and I was sure he could hear how loud my heart was beating. “Like you’re afraid I’m not real or something.”

His lips tipped down at the same time his brows tilted inward. “Sometimes, I’m afraid you’re not,” he said. His voice so low I barely heard him. “I’m afraid if I close my eyes for just a second you’ll be gone again. I know you don’t trust me, but I wasn’t lying when I told you it killed me not to touch you. It’s like you’ve become an obsession for me. There isn’t a moment that goes by in the day where I don’t think about you. It’s hard for me to even function if I don’t at least get to see your face.”

He leaned in and ran his nose from my ear to my collarbone, giving it a tiny nip that caused me to whimper. His words, his touch, his smell…everything about him made my blood run hot.

He pulled back and stared down at me. “I love you so much. It physically hurts to think I can’t have you.” He placed a hand at the center of his chest and rubbed like he was trying to soothe the pain away.

The sadness on his face broke my heart. All I could think was how much I wanted to make it go away. I didn’t want to be the cause of his pain. I placed my hand on his cheek and he instantly pressed into it, turning slightly to lay a kiss on my palm. He squeezed his eyes shut like he was trying to memorize the feel of my hand on him so he didn’t see the tear that ran down my cheek before I brushed it away.

“I love you too,” I whispered. “I love you so much, Jordan.”

I wasn’t able to get another word out because the second I professed my feelings he was on me, hunger and passion bleeding from his lips to mine. He kissed me like I was air to him. I fed off his need for me; let his want fuel me as I pulled at the buttons on his shirt in an attempt to get to bare skin.

Jordan separated his lips from mine just long enough to rip the remaining buttons off his shirt and slide it down his shoulders to the floor before he was kissing me again. Placing his palm in the center of my chest, he pushed so that I was lying on the counter. My body was so feverish, the cold seeping into my skin from the marble didn’t even register. The only thing I was thinking about was how badly I needed to feel him inside me and that he was taking way too damn long getting my shorts off.

“Please, Jordan,” I whimpered.

My desperation must have echoed how he felt because my shorts were gone before I could blink and I heard the distinctive noise of his ripping my panties from my body.

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” he panted as he whipped his belt off and dropped it onto the growing pile of clothes.

“I don’t care. I need you in-” Before I could finish my sentence Jordan had pushed his jeans past his hips and buried himself inside me in one thrust. “
Oh God!”

“Look at me,” he moaned as my back arched off the counter and my eyes clamped shut at the pleasure. “I need to see your eyes.”

I did as he asked and looked directly at him as his hips moved at an almost punishing pace. “Say it,” he demanded.

“I love you,” I breathed just as my climax took over. I cried out his name at the same time I raked my nails down his naked back. It was too intense; I couldn’t help it. My head flew back and my eyes drifted shut again of their own accord.

Jordan wrapped and arm around my back and pulled me up to sitting before taking my chin and tipping my head back down. “Again.”

“I love you, Jordan.”

“Christ, Crimson.” He slipped his hands between our sweat slick bodies and started to circle my clit, applying the perfect amount of pressure.

I let out a strangled cry and tried to move his hand away as my release started to build back up again. “Jordan…it’s too much. I can’t…”

His forehead rested against mine as he kept the pace with his hips and fingers. “You can, baby. I’ve got you. This time your eyes stay on me.”

He pressed down hard with his thumb and pulled out to tip before slamming back into me. That sent me over into a climax so strong I screamed my release. Miraculously, I managed to keep my eyes on him the entire time. “Say it again,” he demanded as aftershocks rippled through my body.

“I love you,” I said as tears streamed down my cheeks.

At those three words, Jordan came so hard I was afraid his knees would give out. His face was buried in my neck as he licked and nipped and sucked at the sensitive spot just above my collarbone, both of us breathing like we’d just run a marathon.

“Wow,” was all I could say once I was finally able to form words.

I collapsed back onto the counter with Jordan resting his head between my breasts. I could feel his body shake against mine as he let out a chuckle. “Just wow? I guess I need to step up my game.”

I shook my head and smiled down at him, loving the happiness shining in his eyes as opposed to the earlier pain. “I can’t form any other words. I think you killed me.”

Jordan turned his face to nuzzle the spot between my breasts and placed a soft kiss before looking back up at me. “I love you so much, Taylor. You’re my world.”

I felt my cheeks growing hot at his intensity. “I love you, too.”

He crept up my body until we were face to face and his forearms were resting on the counter on either side of my head. “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the first time you blushed for me, Crimson.”

I let out a laugh and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Well, it’s good to know my embarrassment is attractive to you.”

“Everything about you is attractive to me. And I plan on spending the rest of my life proving that to you.”

The love I felt for him grew even more as he spoke about the rest of our lives.

Later that night, Jordan and I were lying in my bed with him sprawled on his back, one arm wrapped around me stroking my hair while I used his shoulder as a pillow. The room was dark with the exception of the lights from outside shining through the blinds. We’d been lying in silence for at least an hour and I was completely content. I was tracing the shadows on his bare chest when he finally spoke.

“What happened to make your day so bad?”

I lifted my head and gave him a confused look.

“When you got home you said you’d had a bad day.”

Once I got over my initial shock a wide smile spread across my face. “You remembered me saying that?”

He smiled in return. “Don’t sound so surprised. I remember everything you say, hell, I remember everything about you.”

“Can you blame me for being shocked? We’ve had sex twice since then. I figured your brain would be worthless by now.”

Both of his hands spanned my ribs and he dug his fingers in, tickling me as I thrashed around the bed laughing until tears were streaming down my face. “
Stop!
” I screamed while laughing hysterically. “Okay, okay. I take it back!”

He pinned me back to the bed and rested just enough of his weight on me so that I couldn’t escape. “Tell me you love me and all’s forgiven.”

I smiled again and ran a hand through his tousled blond hair. “I love you, baby.”

His fingers were laced together on my stomach with his chin resting on them. He was staring up at me with so much love in his eyes; it warmed me from the inside out. “Ooh, I think I like it even better when you add “baby” to the end of it.”

“I’ll have to remember that.”

He reached up and grabbed my hand that was playing in his hair and brought it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. “So, you going to tell me what happened today?”

I sighed and thought back to everything that happened at the diner. “It wasn’t any one thing in particular, it was just… hard…being there, you know, without Cassie.” My voice cracked before I could stop it and I swallowed loudly past the lump in my throat.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish there was something I could do to make all this easier on you.”

I sniffed and batted at the tears that had managed to escape. “You just being here helps me.”

I didn’t realize until the words came out, exactly how much I meant them. I’d already admitted that I loved him, but it was more than that. I trusted him. Even though he’d hurt me, he proved himself time and time again that I could put my faith back in him.

He must have sensed the real meaning behind my words because his face became soft and he lightly kissed my stomach. “It wasn’t all bad,” I continued. “Other than Daniel being a typical pain in my ass, the rest of my customers were pretty decent. I’m pretty sure one of them was hitting on me,” I said with a little laugh.

Jordan’s face grew tense and I felt his posture go rigid. “What’s the fucker’s name?” he asked between clenched teeth. His attitude made me laugh even harder.

“Oh, look at you all jealous. It’s so cute.”

He let out a snort and rolled his eyes. “It’s not cute. It’s rugged and manly.”

I bit my bottom lip to try to hold in another laugh. “Okay.”

“Seriously, give me his name. First and last… and a driver’s license number would help if you got it.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Well, I don’t have his license number but will a social help? We exchanged social security numbers when we decided to run off together and get married.”

The tickling began again but he was more brutal than the first time and didn’t stop until I about peed myself and gave him Bryan’s name. “Not funny, Crimson. You aren’t marrying anybody but me.”