Nightmares from Within (12 page)

His body was a work of art.

I sat up and trailed my tongue along his ribs, my body reacting instinctively.

“
Christ
,” he ground out before covering my body with his. Reaching behind me, he flicked the clasp of my bra and pulled it down my arms without ever breaking away from the kiss. I arched my back, pushing my chest into his as close as I could. I felt like my body would spontaneously combust at any moment if he didn’t touch me. As if reading exactly what my body needed, he cupped one of my breasts and rubbed his thumb across its peak while his mouth wrapped around the other. My hips bucked under his as he sucked my nipple into his mouth. I fisted my hands in his hair and let out a needy groan in response to his teeth scraping against my aching tip.

“Jordan, please,” I begged, still not quite sure what I was begging for. My body knew what it wanted even if my brain wasn’t catching on. And I was hungry for it.

Desperate for it.

His hand on my breast started down my waist while his lips made their way back to mine. “I’ve got you, baby,” he said into my mouth just as his fingers slipped past the edge of my panties. I let out a gasp as he slid one finger through my wetness before pulling back to circle around my clit. My breathing became frantic and I grabbed hold of the comforter, fisting it in both hands so tightly I was sure I’d rip it.

“So wet,” he mumbled as he pushed one finger into me, pumping it in and out so slowly I wanted to scream. When he began to insert a second finger I felt a flicker of pain as he began to stretch me. “Jesus baby, you’re so fucking tight.”

I couldn’t tell him the truth…that I was a virgin. I didn’t want to risk him stopping if he found out so I did what came naturally, I lied. “It’s been a while,” I replied as I pulled his mouth back to mine and wrapped my tongue around his. His hands continued to do glorious things to my body. “Please,” I pleaded. “Jordan, I need you.”

“What do you need, baby? I’ll give you anything, just say the words.”

“I need you inside me,” I gasped.

Before I could process his movement, Jordan removed his hand from between my legs and jumped off the bed. He reached for his wallet, removed a square foil packet, tossed it on the floor and ripped his slacks and boxer briefs down his body in one quick motion.

Holy shit.

In that very moment I started to re-think everything about my plan. All I could do was lay there and stare at Jordan in all his naked glory as he rolled the condom down his long, thick shaft. There was
no way in hell
this was going to work.

He must have read the look on my face correctly because he said, “Don’t worry, it’ll fit. You’re body was made for mine.”

He hooked one arm around the back of my thigh and pushed it up closer to my chest as he poised himself at my entrance. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back waiting for him to move but he wasn’t having that. “Look at me, Taylor. Never take your eyes off mine.” There was so much intensity in his voice that my eyes flew open and locked on his, immediately being pulled into the lust that swam in them.

He thrust forward just slightly and hissed out a breath. “
Fuck,
” he moaned before pulling back and pushing in a little further. “You’re so damn tight,” he panted. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” It was the second time in minutes that I had lied. The truth was that the burning sensation was becoming almost too much to take as he pulled out and pushed back in slowly, only sliding in a fraction of an inch further each time. “Just do it, Jordan,” I demanded, praying the pain wouldn’t be so intense if he just got it over with and slid all the way in.

His hips pulled back and he pounded all the way in with one deep thrust…and I instantly regretted my decision. I let out a sharp scream and hot tears blurred my vision then started rolling down the corner of my eyes. The burning sensation intensified to a horrible level and I felt like he was tearing me in two.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he bellowed into my neck where he’d buried his head the minute he was fully seating inside me. He didn’t move as he attempted to get his breathing under control.

He attempted to pull out, but I whimpered at the slight movement and dug my nails into the skin on his back. His pulling out hurt almost as much as when he pushed in. He lifted his head and looked at my with what appeared to be a combination of concern and anger.

I tried to wiggle out from under him but it just hurt too damn much. “Be still,” he demanded. “You’re going to make it worse. Just…just try and relax.”

The tears trickling down the sides of my face were no longer from the pain, but instead, from humiliation. I’d lied to him. I’d kept the fact that I was a virgin from him, and now that he knew, I just wanted to curl into a tiny little ball and fade away.

I tried to turn my face to the side and cover it with my hands but he wouldn’t let me. Pinning both my wrists in one hand above my head, he used his other hand to turn my face back to his. “Why didn’t you tell me, baby?”

“Because I was afraid you’d stop,” I said in a strangled voice.

I tried to give his body a shove, but he refused to move; he just pinned me deeper into the mattress. “I wouldn’t have stopped,” he finally whispered catching me totally off guard.

“You wouldn’t have?” I asked with a sniffle.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my mouth. “Fuck no. I’ve wanted you like crazy from the moment I laid eyes on you. There’s no way I could ever say no to you…but I would have done things differently. I could have made it less painful but you didn’t give me that option.”

I sniffled again and tried to wipe the tears away with the back of my hands. He gently brushed the hair off my face and gave me a sympathetic smile. “Do you trust me?” he asked for the second time that night.

“Yes.”

“Then let me take care of you, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you again.” He leaned back down and kissed me so fiercely it made my toes curl. His fingers made their way back between my legs and he started circling that tight bundle of nerves again, eliciting a deep moan from me. “That’s it, baby,” he said against my lips.

His fingers sped up and his hips started to thrust slowly. The pain that was there earlier was gone, a dull ache the only thing that remained.

“Jordan,” I gasped as I raised my hips to meet his. His thrusts became faster and deeper as he continued to kiss me. He released his hold on my leg and I wrapped them both around his hips, digging my heels into his back. My arms made their way around his neck and we both began to move faster. I felt my release building up inside me again as Jordan powered in and out. Sweat broke out on our skin as our thrusts became frantic and I was lost. I couldn’t think. All I could do was feel. Feel Jordan’s strong hands on me, feel him moving inside me, feel all the emotions he stirred up that I hadn’t realized even existed. “I need you,” I cried out, unable to hold back the words.

“I’m right here, baby.” His eyes were on mine, never wavering; the intensity was almost enough to push me over. “Let go, Taylor. I’ve got you.”

That was all it took. Those few words pushed me over the edge and I came, crying out his name over and over. Overwhelmed, tears ran down the sides of my cheeks.

“Christ, baby…so good,” he groaned before burying his face in my neck as he followed me over seconds later.

We were both breathing hard and all of the energy was drained from my body. I was blissfully exhausted and on the edge of sleep when I felt Jordan brush the hair away from my neck and tug my earlobe with his teeth. “Perfect,” I heard him whisper right before I drifted off completely.

It was just a dream…
It was just a dream.
I chanted over and over in my head as I tried to forget what I’d seen. Tried to forget that horrible poem running on repeat in my head. I’d woken up from my nightmare screaming as the knife was plunged into my stomach but like always, I was alone in my bed, no killer lurking in the shadows.

That was when it hit me. I was alone in my bed.

Alone.

When I’d fallen asleep last night my cheek had been resting on Jordan’s strong chest and our legs were tangled together, but as I looked around the sun filled room, he was nowhere to be found. There were no signs that he’d ever even been there, and if it wasn’t for the dull throb between my thighs, I might have been concerned that I imagined the whole thing.

He left.

The thought caused tears to prick the backs of my eyes, but I inhaled deeply and blinked them away. I had been nothing more than a one-night stand.

But…why?

Why would he bother saying all of those wonderful things to me if he had known he was just going to walk away afterwards? I felt a knot deep in my stomach as I recalled all of the things he’d said the night before. I felt like such an idiot for dropping my guard and allowing myself to buy into everything he said.

I could spend hours wracking my brain trying to come up with answers, but it was useless. He was a guy and that’s what guys did. At least I’d gotten a few hours of freedom from the darkness thanks to him. I’d felt like a normal person for a small amount of time so I tried to concentrate on being thankful to Jordan for that. I needed to ignore the pain twisting in my gut at the realization that I obviously meant less than nothing.

Glancing at the clock, I noticed that I only had an hour before my shift started. No time for yoga in an attempt to rid my mind of the horrible dream or of Jordan.

I stood from my bed and was hit with blinding pain. I grabbed the sides of my head as the migraine caused me to double over onto the floor. It was another hallucination. No…
vision
. I caught flashes of blonde hair and screams. Then I remembered what Daniel told me. If I tried to embrace the visions the headaches would stop.

I had a decision to make. I could either accept that this was my life, and I could try to help the people that I saw, or I could ignore it and…I didn’t even want to consider the outcome of that decision.

I pushed myself up and into sitting pose that I’d learned from years of yoga and tried to breathe through the pain that threatened to overrun me. Inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, I attempted to clear my mind and see the woman who was running in terror.

The pain began to subside as I concentrated on opening up and embracing what I was seeing. The image became clearer and I could make out more details than I could the first time, but I still couldn’t see her face.

I’d done what Daniel asked so why couldn’t I see her face?

Her fear was coursing through me and a cold sweat broke out across my skin. The pain in my head had disappeared completely the harder I concentrated, but the woman never turned around. And just as quickly as the vision came, it was gone.

I didn’t understand. I did everything I was supposed to do. I embraced the vision and I still couldn’t see who the woman was. There was nothing I could do to help her if I wasn’t able to find out who she was.

I needed to find Daniel.

I needed answers.

The Past

“Do you have any clue how special you are, my sweet Lydia?” Granny asked as she clasped her locket around my neck. “You’re just like me, love. We have a special gift.”

It was the night before my seventh birthday and my parents actually allowed my grandmother to come for a short visit. They had told her she wasn’t allowed at the party because she couldn’t be trusted not to make a scene, but I was happy just to have time alone with her. My mom said Granny was crazy and hardly let me see her, so on the rare occasions it was allowed, I wanted her all to myself.

“What special gift, Granny?” I asked as I stretched across my bed and laid my head in her lap. We always did that. I would lay my head in her lap and she would run her fingers through my hair over and over until I finally fell asleep. My mom never played with my hair the way Granny did.

“We can see things, sweet girl. Special things that no one else can see. We have visions,” she whispered with a smile. “And it’s our job to try and help those we see in our visions.”

I turned my head and looked up at her face. “I don’t understand. What do you mean help those we see?”