Nightfall: Book Two of the Chronicles of Arden (25 page)

Zandi glanced around as if to be sure they were alone. “The two of you being publicly unashamed. There are others who look up to the both of you. Gibben, you’re the understudy of the seneschal. If one day you sit on the High Council, there is hope for all who love unconventionally. Don’t you see?”

Gib’s head was too full for this. What was Zandi saying? Was it the drink talking? Or were there actually people out there who were paying attention to him? Joel had always been subjected to scrutiny—it came with the territory of being Koal’s son, but Gib? Why would anyone take note of him? He was just an impoverished farmer who’d been drafted into the military.

“I’m no one to look up to. And Joel would rather not be in the public eye.”

Zandi’s emerald eyes dashed around once again. “Whether you would have it or not, people have taken note. There are others—others like you and Joel—who envy your openness.”

Gib clenched his jaw. On a different day this would have meant something more to him. If he weren’t busy mourning his loss and fretting for Joel’s welfare, he might have been more receptive to this conversation. But for now he was tired, lonely, and hurt.

His voice came out as a harsh snap. “Then they would be fools. Being open about yourself is taxing. It kills you a little each time someone strikes you down—and there are many who strike us down. Tell your friends, or whoever they are, they need to look to someone else.” He turned his back and hoped Zandi would get the hint.

Stifling silence claimed the night. Even the Rose Bouquet’s music seemed to be leagues away. Zandi sighed at long last. “There isn’t anyone else to look up to. Joel Adelwijn set a new standard when he proclaimed his preference for his own. There were so many who were against him but so many more of us who silently wished we could be so brave. And then you came along and fell in beside him without so much as batting an eye. And more than that? The seneschal has accepted you both! The King has looked the other way. Do you even know what sort of hero you are?”

Gib ground his teeth together, hating himself a little for how he was behaving but unable to listen to this anymore. “Don’t you have somewhere to go?”

“Send me away.” Zandi was standing right behind him now. When had he closed the gap? “But know you are a beacon of hope—whether you would have it or not.”

Done. He was done. Spinning on one heel, Gib rounded to glare at the other man. “Hope? There isn’t any hope left. Not with Joel gone to the Northern Empire and me left here so broken. You may mean well, but you have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ll ask you again, Zandi Malin-Rai, haven’t you somewhere to go?
Now?
”

Zandi’s face twisted in such a way that Gib could scarcely tell how handsome he was beneath the scowl. “
I
have no idea what I’m talking about? Begging your pardon, but
you
don’t know what
you’re
talking about. Do you think you’re the only one to be different? To be not ‘normal’? And on top of that, do you have any idea what it’s like to be what I am and have a father like mine? Lord Anders Malin-Rai, of the High Council? Imagine how proud he must be of his soldier daughter and eldest son who refuses to marry! At least you have your hope. Joel will return to you, and you’ll have your other half to share your burdens. Some of us are alone!”

“With any luck, Joel
will
return, but not to me!” Gib’s chest heaved, and he felt as though the world would spin right out from under him. “We’re not invincible. Our pedestal doesn’t lift us as high as you imagine. The real world still jumps up to bite us in the arse once in a while. Joel and I aren’t some tale of Fae. We’re human and fallible. And we’re
done
! There is no ‘we’ anymore.”

Zandi’s emerald eyes were wide in the moonlight, but if he was angered by Gib’s harsh words, there was no way to see it through his sorrow. Gib wanted to be enraged, to continue to fuel the fire that had blazed in his soul a moment before but now guttered to dance with death. Why was Zandi, a perfect stranger, looking on Gib with so much sympathy? Zandi should have dismissed Gib as a raging lunatic! And yet, there the other man stood, openly sharing Gib’s pain.

A long moment passed where they said nothing before Zandi sighed, his breath a wispy cloud on the wind. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He wrapped his arms around himself and looked out into the distance. A devastated smile cracked his face. “And here I was, going on about how perfect the two of you were. You must think me the worst sort of fool.”

Gib wrung his hands, his fingers numb from the cold he could no longer feel. “You’re no fool. It’s not common knowledge yet. It won’t be until he returns—if he returns.”

“This is why you wait for Kezra?” Zandi choked on a broken laugh, his eyes lowered to the cobblestone street beneath his boots. A shameful, terrible blush covered his face. “I should have known something was amiss. She’s my pillar, too. Kezra is stronger than I’ve ever been.”

“You couldn’t have known. But yes. I wait for her in hopes she can offer some sort of comfort or wisdom.”

“She will. She doesn’t know she does it, but she does. I suppose you already know that though, being friends with her and all.”

“I do.”

Both men turned to look in the direction of the Rose Bouquet when the music momentarily faded away, until the silence was broken by a new song. Zandi straightened to his full height. “She’ll be along shortly then. I, uh, I’ll take my leave and hope you may find some way to forgive my egregious oversight.”

Gib’s heart hammered in his chest, and he found himself actually reaching for the other man. “Zandi, wait. This whole thing with Joel and me—”

The mage had already turned and begun to walk away. He looked back, only for the briefest of moments. “A secret, I know. I have many shortcomings, but I assure you, I’m well-schooled in keeping secrets. I’ll tell no one.”

“Thank you.”

Zandi nodded his head once, slowly. “I wish you well, Gibben Nemesio of Willowdale. And I am sorry. Truly.”

Somewhere in the distance Nawaz Arrio’s whoop of laughter caught Gib’s attention, and he glanced toward the tavern steps. Kezra was sure to be on her way. He turned back to Zandi a moment later, only to realize he’d already slipped away and was gone.

“I’m sorry, too,” Gib whispered into the darkness. “I’m sorry for the death of your heroes.”

The days passed by quickly in an endless procession of council meetings, leaving Joel feeling drained. He would have returned to the suite crawling at the end of each session had it been appropriate behavior. Somehow he did manage to drag himself to the privacy of his bedchamber, where he’d promptly collapse and spend the rest of the evening wondering why he’d ever volunteered to come here. Joel wasn’t quite sure how his father and mentor managed to keep their sanity intact. Koal and Cenric were doing all the talking and negotiating—Joel only took notes and kept his mouth shut and
he
could barely remain rational.

Joel tapped the feathered end of his quill against the oak tabletop. They had just returned from one such meeting, and now he and Cenric sat at the only desk the suite offered and reviewed Joel’s notes. Hasain lazed on the lounge behind them, and Joel could hear Koal’s and NezReth’s voices carrying in from the terrace as they talked in quiet voices to one another.

Noticeably absent was Liro. After the envoys had been dismissed from the council chamber, Liro had proclaimed he was going to the library and slipped away without awaiting a response. He’d been spending an abnormal amount of time by himself, and while it was no secret that Liro and Hasain were unable to tolerate the presence of one another, Joel had to wonder if Liro simply couldn’t stomach being in the same room as him or if something deeper was going on.

I wish he would speak to me. We used to be able to talk. We used to be open with each other. But now
—Joel’s heart clenched.
Now there’s a great wall between us. When I need his advice the most, he’s shut me out
.

He stared at the notes before him but didn’t actually see the words. They blurred together on the parchment. His mind drifted back to Gib—always to Gib. Had he moved on? Or like Joel, was he barely able to suppress his grief?
I hope he’s at least talking to his friends about it. Surely they can offer comfort. I know I certainly could use someone to talk to right about now
.

But who was there, really? His father and Cenric were far too busy to pester, Liro had all but shut him out, and NezReth’s uncanny silence made the Blessed Mage unapproachable. Out of all the envoys, Hasain seemed the best option. But he tended to be rude and haughty, and Joel wasn’t sure he could deal with Hasain’s abrasive opinions right then.

“Joel?” Cenric’s voice cut through his disordered thoughts. “Did you remember to take notes on that last bit about Nales’ request for full demilitarization on the northern border? Koal will need to mention it in his next report to the King.”

Joel blinked. How long had his mentor been speaking to him? “What? I–I’m sorry.” He winced at his own stupidity and could already feel warmth rushing to his cheeks. “I apologize. I’ve been distracted all day.”

“No need to apologize,” Cenric replied, sympathetic as always. “You’ve been working hard. Why don’t we take a break, hmm?”

Joel breathed a sigh of relief. “That would be wonderful. My mind keeps drifting to those back home. I never imagined I’d miss my family so much.”

Cenric’s smile was warm, but his eyes reflected sadness of his own. “Aye. I know what you mean. I keep thinking of my two daughters. Gara’s Naming Day celebration is only a sennight away. I don’t suppose I’ll be there to partake in the festivities with her.”

Joel suppressed a frown. It disheartened him to witness his mentor in such low spirits. “I’m sure Gara understands why you can’t be home. You do a great service to Arden by being here. She must know that.”

“You’re right. It just—at times, it gets to me.” The ambassador set down his quill and leaned back in his chair. He remained quiet for a long pause, and Joel could tell something more weighed on his mind. Finally, he sighed and met Joel’s gaze. “My youngest daughter Nia has also been in my thoughts. Tell me, Joel, this young man she wishes to marry, is he a good sort? You know him, don’t you?”

“Nage? I know him a little. He’s one of Gib’s best friends. I know he was born into the most unfortunate of circumstances, but despite that, he’s made a decent life for himself as a sentinel. Gib trusts him, and I trust Gib’s judgment.”

Cenric dipped his head in agreement. “I reckon Gib’s a good judge of character—Koal wouldn’t have taken him as an understudy if he wasn’t—and I’m sure Nage will treat Nia with all the respect she deserves, should they be married. It’s just—hard to let her go. It seems only yesterday she was an infant, and now, she wants to marry. Children grow up so fast.”

Koal entered the room just then and took a seat on the lounge beside Hasain. “That they do. I don’t envy the choice you must make, Cenric. As parents, it often feels it’s our duty to keep our children under the protection of our wings forever.”

“Ah, yes, but they’ll never learn to fly that way.” Cenric tilted his head to the side as he regarded Koal. “What of your own daughter, Seneschal? Joel tells me Heidi is requesting to be married herself.”

Koal frowned. The creases around his mouth and eyes had never been more prominent than they were in that moment.
He’s getting old
, Joel realized.
His age is finally catching up with him
. Joel had to wonder if the stress of his father’s job was only hastening the aging process. Would he eventually work himself straight to the grave?

“Aye,” Koal replied at length. “Heidi has turned a blind eye to every suitor to approach her. For three years, she’s fixated herself on Nawaz Arrio. She’s quite smitten by him.”

“Really? No kidding.” Cenric rubbed his chin absently. “Huh. Well I can’t say I saw that match coming. Heidi’s a little—” He paused, searching for the right word.

“Straight-laced?” Joel offered, trying not to chuckle.

A laugh escaped Cenric’s pursed lips. “Indeed! And Nawaz Arrio is so—well, they seem to be two completely different people.”

Joel kept his personal feelings on the matter to himself. The truth was, Nawaz just wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with Heidi. Wasn’t that obvious enough by the way Nawaz hung off Kezra Malin-Rai’s arm at the Rose Bouquet?
Heidi needs to open her eyes and see reason. The reality is that Nawaz’s heart already belongs to another
.

Koal sighed, reaching up to massage his temples. “I promised my wife I’d give Heidi a definitive answer when I came home. I know she thinks she loves Nawaz, but I have my doubts he reciprocates such feelings.”

To Joel’s surprise, it was Hasain who spoke next. The young Radek lord cleared his throat and turned his dark eyes onto Koal. “I believe marriage would do Nawaz well. He’s young and brash, but all he really needs is a bit of structure in his life. Heidi would be a good fit for him. She could ground him, and I truly feel he’d settle down and take responsibility as her husband and a man.”

Joel had to bite his tongue to remain silent. He could barely believe what he was hearing. Hasain and Nawaz were best friends. Why was Hasain pushing for Nawaz to marry Heidi when he
knew
how much his comrade liked Kezra? What game was Hasain playing?

Meeting Hasain’s stare, Koal nodded once but the frown on his mouth betrayed his conflict. “I suppose you know him best. You and Nawaz have always been close friends.”

“I do know Nawaz,” Hasain replied. “And I would never suggest the idea if it wasn’t in his best interest. Nawaz needs guidance. Having a wife to care for would surely keep him on a good path.”

Joel glared openly at Hasain. Exactly
whose
best interest would it be in for Nawaz to marry Heidi? Surely neither Nawaz nor Heidi’s! Why was Hasain suddenly so invested in the future of his friend? A terrible thought hit Joel like a bag of bricks.
Daya! His words aren’t sincere. He doesn’t care about Nawaz’s future. He just wants to ensure Nawaz doesn’t marry Kezra. If Nawaz marries Heidi, Hasain would be free to pursue Kezra. He wants her for himself
.

Joel had witnessed Hasain’s jealousy at the Rose Bouquet firsthand. He’d seen the way his cousin acted when Nawaz and Kezra arrived together. He’d noticed the rage in Hasain’s eyes. Dread tugged at Joel’s heart. Was Hasain truly putting his own selfish desires ahead of his best friend’s happiness? This wasn’t the Hasain that Joel had grown up with. What was Hasain thinking?

“It’s certainly something to consider,” Koal said. “I know Nawaz has a good head on his shoulders. I only worry his heart isn’t in the right place.”

The glint in Hasain’s eyes was unsettling. “Give his heart time to adjust. Heidi’s a good match. He’ll quickly realize he was an idiot for not marrying her sooner.”

A deep sigh escaped Koal’s slanted mouth. “Perhaps. No matter, now isn’t the time to dedicate thought to Heidi and Nawaz’s potential arrangement.”

It was just as well they ended the conversation when they did, for a moment later, a swift knock came from the door. Out of habit, Joel began to rise from his chair, but Koal motioned for his son to sit and crossed the room to answer the call.

Archmage Adrian Titus waited in the corridor—and Liro was with him. Standing side by side and both dressed in shimmering golden robes, the two men could have been twins, if not for the contrasting color of their hair.

Joel’s heart sunk. Why was Liro with Adrian? He was supposed to be at the library. Was it possible he had lied about his whereabouts?
Stop jumping to conclusions. It’s possible he crossed paths with Adrian in the hall. And even if they have been speaking, Liro knows better than to reveal anything of importance about Arden
—
doesn’t he?

Koal greeted the Archmage with a small bow, though he never once looked away from Liro. “Archmage Titus, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

Adrian returned the gesture, his words equally devoid of mirth. “I come with good tidings. His Grace, Emperor Sarpedon, has extended an invitation to your party.”

“An invitation?”

“Father,” Liro spoke, his voice a careful cool. “We’ve been invited to attend the match this afternoon.”

Koal’s brow furrowed. “Match? What match?”

A smirk crossed Liro’s mouth as he stuck his nose farther into the air. “The gladiator match taking place within the amphitheater. It’s the talk of the entire city. You hadn’t heard?”

Koal’s words were deliberate and slow. “No, I hadn’t.”

Adrian barely allowed Koal to finish before replying. “I can inform His Grace of your acceptance then?” It was formed as a question, though Joel was sure it was anything but.

“No,” Koal said, shaking his head. “We must politely decline. Blood sport is forbidden in Arden, and I’m afraid its entertainment would be lost on us.”

Liro’s cold eyes narrowed into slits. Joel could see the mask of rage written across his brother’s face.

The Archmage was likewise displeased. “I would reconsider your decision, Seneschal.” The hostile clip in Adrian’s voice couldn’t be ignored. He turned frigid blue eyes onto Koal, and Joel could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. “Emperor Sarpedon has requested his distinguished guests from Arden attend. He would be most displeased should you not accept the invitation.”

Silence filled every corner of the suite. Joel held his breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hasain frozen on the edge of his seat, face drawn and pale. NezReth remained quiet as he watched from the shadows, and even Koal seemed to be at a loss for words.

Cenric, however, swiftly recovered. “You’re correct, Archmage. We wouldn’t want to displease our host. Emperor Sarpedon has been gracious to extend an invitation to us. Of course we’ll attend.”

Koal clamped his mouth shut. He didn’t offer to speak, but his furious eyes spoke volumes.

“Good,” Adrian replied, smug satisfaction dripping from his words. “I’ll leave you to prepare then.” The Archmage turned on one heel and departed.

As soon as they were alone, Koal slammed the door shut and whirled around to face Liro. “What in hell were you thinking, fraternizing with the enemy?”

Liro crossed his arms over his chest. “Now that’s a bold accusation to make, Father.”

“Don’t take that tone with me!” Koal barked.

Joel flinched, wishing he could disappear into the shadows and forgo listening to his father and brother argue.

Liro’s eyes glinted dangerously as he responded. “I was merely on my way back to the suite when Master Titus and I stumbled upon one another. I saw no harm in walking the rest of the way here with him. And when did we determine the Northern Empire to be our enemy? It seems to me they’ve been nothing if not hospitable and more than sympathetic to Arden’s plight.”

“Horseshit!” Koal spat so harshly that even Hasain winced away from the seneschal’s words. “In case you’ve forgotten, it’s not up to you to align our countries. At this rate, the Emperor will be expecting us to sign some sort of treaty or have our royal children marrying theirs.”

“And would that be such a bad idea?” countered Liro. “Think of the sway Arden would hold over our neighboring countries if we had the power of the Northern Empire to back us. No one would dare threaten our borders ever again. No arrangements have yet been made for Deegan or Gudrin. A marital alliance for either of them would only stand to strengthen Arden.”

Koal threw his hands in the air. Joel couldn’t even breathe as he watched his father begin to pace. “It was a mistake to bring you. The longer you’re here, the more I see it.”