Night of the Creepy Things (6 page)

I walked back to Sherman's seat, raised the camcorder, and started to tape him.

“Hey, what's up with this?” Sherman asked. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Just act natural,” I said. “Pretend I'm not here.”

“Excuse me?” Sherman said, hiding his face from my camera. “What's the big idea, Bernie?”

“Ignore me,” I said. “Just act normal.”

“But—but—” he sputtered.

“What's the name of your horror movie again?” I asked him.

“
Horror Zoo
,” he answered.

“Well, I'm doing a documentary,” I said. “It's called
The Making of
Horror Zoo.”

Sherman lowered his hands from his face and stared at me. “You mean you're making a documentary about
me
?”

I nodded. “Yeah. It's a behind-the-scenes thing. Starring you.”

He thought about it. A smile spread over his face. “Sweet!” he said finally. “I guess you finally realized who the master moviemaker is around here.”

“You got it,” I said. I moved the camcorder right into his nose for a close-up. “Wiggle your nostrils,” I said. “Good. That's good. Very scary.”

He pushed the lens out of his nose. “So you're just gonna follow me and my crew around and tape everything we do?”

“You got it,” I said again.

Only he
didn't
get it.

I didn't tell him the whole truth. My film was
not
about the making of Sherman's film. It was actually about how Sherman and his pals try to make a movie—but get
scared to DEATH
!

My buddies and I had it all worked out. Our plan was to
terrify
Sherman and Wes and their pals. And get it all on tape for
my
movie—
Scream, Sherman, Scream!

How could I lose?

The bus pulled up to the zoo's front gate. It was decorated with jack-o'-lanterns, giant spiders, and lots of cobwebs. As we drove through, I saw that the whole zoo was decorated for Halloween. Mummies, scarecrows, and coffins poked out from trees and bushes. Strange orange lights cut through swirling, thick fog.

Perfect.

I heard creepy organ music. And the sound of wolves howling in the distance.

Even more perfect.

“I'll just stay here,” Chipmunk was telling Mrs. Heinie. “Someone should guard the bus—right?”

But she pulled him out with the rest of us.

We carried our bags and tents to the gorilla house. It was a cold, cloudy night. No moon in the sky. The wind rustled the trees and blew dead leaves over our feet.

Totally scary.

The big gorillas stared at us through their cage bars. One of them moved his finger over his lips and went, “Buh-buh-buh.”

What did
that
mean?

“People. People! Gather around!” A tall, chubby man in a green uniform and green cap waved us over to him. “I'm your guide for the night,” he said.

He held up a silver badge. “I'm a zoo ranger. I guess my parents
really
wanted me to work in a zoo. They named me Sandy, and my last name is Eggozoo.”

He waved for us to follow him. He guided us along a narrow path that led past several low buildings. Creepy music poured from hidden speakers. Jack-o'-lanterns grinned at us.

Sandy Eggozoo opened a door and held it for us to go inside. “This is the snake house,” he said. “As you can see, our snakes are all behind glass, so you can view them easily.”

I stared into a glass cage. A huge, blue snake, curled around a log, stared back at me with its beady, black eyes.

“The snakes move a lot at night,” Sandy said. “You guys are lucky. The python was fed this afternoon. We feed it mice. You can still see the mouse bulging in its throat.”

“Ooh, gross,” April-May June said.

Beast licked his lips. “Do you have any mice left over?” he asked.

“We'll eat later,” Mrs. Heinie told him. “We're going to have pizza.”

“Pizza is good, too,” Beast said.

The only snake I was interested in was Sherman Oaks. He and his pals walked over to the python
cage and started to set up their movie equipment.

They turned a spotlight on April-May. She was the star of Sherman's movie. Behind her, the python raised its head and slid toward the glass. Sherman set up his camera.

“Lights, camera, action,” I whispered to Feenman and Crench. That was our signal to get to work. Time to start terrifying Sherman and everyone working on his movie.

We started over to him. But Billy the Brain stepped in front of us.

“Yo. Dudes. Here's something I bet you didn't know,” Billy said. “If you cut off a snake's head, it'll grow a new one in a few days.”

“Very cool,” I said. “You know everything, Brain. But we're kinda in a hurry and—”

“Here's another interesting fact,” Billy said. “The snake is the only animal that doesn't brush its teeth.”

“Is that true?” Feenman said, scratching his head. “Wow. That's amazing.”

“Tell us some more,” Crench said.

I gave Crench a push. “Did you forget we've got things to do?”

I pulled Feenman and Crench away from Billy. We slipped over to where Sherman and his gang were starting to videotape their movie scene.

I handed the camcorder to Feenman. “Just push the red button to record,” I whispered.

Then I turned to Crench. “Have you got it?”

He nodded. And pulled a big, black rubber snake out from under his jacket. The snake had two long, pointy fangs. It bobbed up and down in Crench's hand. Its eyes glowed yellow.

It looked real and alive.

“Feenman, start recording when Crench tosses the snake,” I whispered.

I turned to Crench. “Wait till April-May starts reading her lines. Then toss the snake right in front of her. Ready, dudes?”

I hated to do this to my girlfriend. But this was going to be a great opening scene for our movie,
Scream, Sherman, Scream!

We crept a little closer. In its cage, the python seemed to be watching us.

“Okay. Action!” I whispered.

Feenman raised the camcorder to his face.
Crench tossed the big snake.

“Poison Mamba!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

A perfect toss! The rubber snake bounced on the floor and curled around April-May's leg.

She shot her hands into the air and let out a shrill scream of horror. Sherman screamed, too. He tripped and stumbled to the floor with a loud
thud
.

Life was sweet.

I turned to Feenman. “Did you get that on tape?”

He nodded. “Hope I didn't shake the camcorder too much. I was laughing pretty hard.”

“We totally messed them up,” Crench said. We slapped knuckles.

Sherman climbed to his feet and came stomping over to us, swinging his fists.

Uh-oh. The dude looked angry.

“Sherman, it was an accident—” I started.

But he grabbed my hand and shook it. “Thanks, Bernie,” he said. “That was brilliant!”

My mouth dropped open. “Brilliant?”

“I couldn't get April-May to scream,” Sherman said. “But you did it for me.”

He slapped me a low five. “Thanks, pal. You're a real help. Now we can go on to the next big scene. Know what? You've given me a
great
idea. I'm going to call my movie
Snakes on My Leg
.”

He flashed me a thumbs-up. “Thanks for all the help!”

Our next chance came in the Tunnel of Darkness.

“This building is for our nocturnal animals,” Sandy Eggozoo said. “Creatures who only come out at night.”

It was pitch-black in this building, except for a dim, red light.

“Watch out for the bats,” Mrs. Heinie called. “I can see their shadows on the ceiling.”

“First you walk through the Tunnel of Darkness,” Sandy said. “The bat cave is at the other end. Take your time going through the tunnel. You'll see lots of interesting creatures.”

I grabbed Feenman and Crench. “We're not gonna take our time,” I whispered. “Let's move. We need to get to the other end of the tunnel.”

We pushed past kids gaping at a skinny tree sloth. Some other dudes stood in front of a glass case, pointing at a funny-looking animal that had a furry body and a face that looked kinda like a bat's. It was called a slow loris.

We had to get to the end of the tunnel first to set up our next trick. But there was Billy the Brain again. He blocked our path, eager to show us how much he knew.

“Dudes, you know the funny thing about bats?” he asked.

“Billy, we're in a hurry,” I said. “Maybe—”

“The word
BATS
is spelled the same forward and backward. Isn't that amazing?”

“Wow. I never thought about that!” Crench said.

“Cool,” Feenman agreed.

Sometimes I think all my friends are morons.

“The slow loris isn't really slow,” Billy said. “It's just that every other animal in the world is faster. So that makes the loris
look
slow.”

“Billy, you know
everything
!” Feenman said.

“Are you working on a scary movie?” Crench asked him.

Billy nodded. “It's called
Movie in My Head
, and it takes place entirely in my head.”

“Awesome,” Crench said. “Can't wait to see it.”

“You
can't
see it,” Billy replied. “It's only in my head!”

I pulled my two buddies away. “Catch you later, Brain!” I called.

“Let me know if you need to know anything,” Billy called back.

Kids were moving through the tunnel, nearing the end. My buddies and I had to work fast if we were going to give Sherman and his pals a real scare.

“Have you got it?” I asked Crench. “Quick.” I stuck out my hand.

He pulled the can out from under his jacket. A can of spray-on cobwebs. Feenman pulled out a can, too.

We both started spraying a thick blanket of cobwebs over the tunnel exit. The stuff was wet and sticky and creepy.

“This is gonna be sweet!” I said. “When Sherman and his friends walk into the webs, they'll totally freak. They'll be scratching and screaming and trying to pull the webs off their faces.”

I slid the camcorder into Feenman's hand. “Get ready. Don't miss this. Here they come.”

Squinting into the deep, red light, we waited for our classmates to come to the exit. Some dudes were still gawking at the weird animals in their glass cages.

Sherman was busy taping April-May as she pretended to be attacked by a slow loris.

Slowly they made their way toward the exit.

“Get ready. Here they come,” I whispered to Feenman. “Wait for it…. Wait for it…. This isn't going to be pretty!”

April-May stepped into the tunnel exit. Sherman and Wes followed.

I screamed. “LOOK OUT! SPIDERS!”

I held my breath, waiting for them to scream and
start pulling at the sticky webs.

But they walked right through and kept walking.

Mrs. Heinie walked through, followed by several other kids.

“What's up with THIS?” I cried.

I pulled out a flashlight and shined it at the exit. “Beast!” I exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

I didn't have to wait for his answer.

I saw.

Beast had slurped up all the cobwebs. He had sticky stuff all over his grinning face.

He let out a two-minute burp. “I love this stuff,” he said. “It's my favorite vegetable!”