Night Finds (14 page)

“How barbaric. It is already done,” she says waving her hand and about hitting me in the face. “I could have taken it at any time, but I knew you would prefer to be asked. I cannot analyze it just like that; however, so any findings will have to be reported if I come visit you.”

I don’t care what anyone says, this chick is scary. She and Hilda are like long lost sisters. Having them in the same realm, with Phee tagging along, is my worst nightmare come to life. Let’s hope she finds my blood to be less helpful than she thought.

“Anything else we need to discuss before we are free to go?”

“I think we are good. Let me introduce you to the men that will accompany you on your quest.”

Killian hurries to the queen’s side, pushing Hilda out of the way. He could have taken my place and I wouldn’t have argued.

I look towards where he entered the room and find ten men kneeling on the floor, bowing their heads. That is something I would never get used to. I am more of a slap a person on their back if you like them kind of girl.

“They honor you,” Queen Adeline says.

“I am pretty sure they are doing that for you. They don’t even know me.”

“But I do,” Killian says grinning from ear-to-ear. Even with a person in between us, I can tell he is still really happy about things being put right in his world.

  “Tell them to stand up. They look silly.” Mark kneeling subjects on the list of reasons not to become a ruler.

The men instantly jump up at my words. They are in shiny chainmail. The Knights of the Round Table are alive and well in Faerie. Because of their armor, I cannot get a good look at any of them. It doesn’t really matter that much, they are just guides.

“Ian here is the head of my guard. You can see that I like to have them play dress up for me. Their magic is their true weapon. I hope you get a chance to see them in action, it is truly marvelous.”

“It is my pleasure to serve you, Mistress,” The guy in front says bowing his head.

“He is talking to you, right?” Mistress seems a little below Queen, but I am not going to judge if she doesn’t mind the moniker.

“Sebastian, you really need to teach her more about the ways of the nobility. He uses the term for you because he is not certain of your true rank, other than the fact it is above him. Ian, and the rest of you, her highest rank is Queen so you may address her as such,” Adeline instructs.

“No, you can call me Nyx. No stupid titles. How many times do I have to tell people that?” I ask throwing my hands up.

“Good luck convincing them of that,” Adeline says. “The rest of the men are Aidan, Brendan, Kian, Cormac, Hugh, Paddy, Quinn, Ronan, and Sean.” Each man steps forward and nods to introduce himself when his name is called.

“Great. Thanks for the fun visit, let me know if you find anything interesting in the sample I gave you, and let’s get the twiddly winks out of here.” My wish is finally granted and Operation Kill Everyone and Retrieve Male Parental Unit is back on.

Chapter 13

Movie quotes are not the answer to everything

“How are those contractions coming along?” I ask Sebastian as our Fae guards show us the way to the Dark Forest.

So far, in our five minute trek, there has been nothing that would indicate a scary woodland is around the corner. The pixies are having a good old time flying from flower to flower smelling and tasting each variety. They are getting just a bit tipsy in their flying, making it really funny to watch as they fly into each other and try crazy aerial stunts.

“They aren't that bad. I really don't know what all the fuss is about. If we let Alex take them from you, he might whine, but you would probably only feel little tickles with your pain threshold.”

“Watch it, vamp. I won't just sit around while you make me sound like a wuss,” Alex says reaching behind me to give Sebby's shoulder a punch. Next time I am leaving them both at home.

“I understand you have taken away the pain itself, but what about the fact my stomach isn't feeling, I don't know, weird. There should be some kind of pressing or something, shouldn't there?” The thought has tried to make itself known to me since the grand announcement that Sophia was on her way, but Fae business hampered it from making it to the good part of my brain.

“That has to be the doing of our daughter. I got the message she was coming out and haven't heard from her since, so I don't have a good answer. She might also be making the pain less. Do you want me to transfer it back to you now that you know? It shouldn't bother you.”

I don't know about all that. Having a man experience the joys of birth hands on seems like a really good idea to me. “Let your wall down so I can see what it is like.”

“When the cat was let out of the bag we both let you back in,” Alex claims.

One of the bad things about having Hilda around on a daily basis is that she decided the guys needed a way to communicate between themselves in case they want to keep things from me. She must not believe in the girl code at all. I cannot say I have had a lot of times where it was necessary to honor any kind of unspoken law that says how the women of the world should interact with one another, but adding more people with balloons on their chest to our group is going to require some kind of agreement.

The witch’s ability to do anything she wants has me making plans to do all of my own cooking for the rest of my life. I cannot trust anyone in the group to not try to slip me something “for my own good”. The next thing you know, I will be waking up after a century’s nap all confused.

I dive into Sebby’s head to get a feel for what I should be experiencing. He is laughing at me and my girl code ponderings. That just warms my heart endlessly. I don’t feel any underlying pain. My joy at him suffering through birth is dimmed.

“I told you they are still spaced pretty far apart. I will try to give you a warning the next time I feel one coming on. Why don’t we talk about what our plans are for facing off against Frank? Do we have enough time to do that, Ian?”

“Yes, Sir. We are still fifteen minutes out from the edge of the Dark Forest. Those within won’t be able to hear what is being said from the outside world.”

“Do you know how long after we enter it will take to reach the cabin or shack that sea monkey kissing pig, Sylvia, stowed my dad?”

“Anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour on top of the fifteen. I guess it could be less, but the forest doesn’t often make things easy for the people who dare enter it,” Ian explains.

How in the world has Dad lived in there for months? Other than not liking the hospitality, which after meeting the pig woman I don’t blame him one bit, he didn’t voice any other complaints. I cannot think it is as bad as everyone is claiming since he has remained there for months.

“How many men do you think Frank brought with him?” I ask ready to discuss plans. We already have the general idea in place; we just need to finalize things.

“We should take care of our switcharoos before too long. As it is, they might have a lookout waiting,” Hilda suggests. That brings our group to a halt. I really need to keep my mind focused on this mission and stop getting sidetracked thinking about Sophia. As much as I hate it, keeping the labor from me was probably smart.

Those would be words that will never reach an auditory cortex.

“What do we need to do? Phee, you better scoot your
derrière up here because you are part of our master plan.” She has been walking back with Sam and her mouth hasn’t been yapping constantly. She might be sick.

“You know I am in no matter what you need, big sis. I have been hitting the guys constantly to prepare for moments like this.” By hitting the guys, I know she means she has been sparring with them in the gym and hasn’t developed psycho tendencies of just randomly punching the guys.

“I am going to be glamoured into looking like you. I think you are going to get something that makes you look like me and then a glamour on top that makes you look like someone else. Hilda is going to officially take my place and change some of the guys around while she is at it.” I think I got that all right. I am sure things will work themselves out if I got confused. It isn’t like we aren’t putting layers of difficulty into the plan.

“Got it. So, who do I get to be? Can I pick? I mean it would be cool to be you, but Hilda is a bit smarter than me in the ol’ noodle.” I am not sure I understand what she is trying to say, but I am sure I concur.

“We should keep it simple. The Collective is probably aware of me and Marcus growing closer, so they will expect me to be here. You are going to be switched into me and stick close to Marcus. Alex, are you okay being away from your princess or do you want to stay close?”

“I will play myself. Sebastian has Nyx covered.”

“Okay, the Vampire King will become Sam then to pair with the fake Phee. We need a Sebastian.”

“Before we get to that point, can you verify that when I change appearances via your non-glamour method that I won't lose any of my abilities?” Sebastian asks.

“I can see where going from kick butt master vampire to slightly above average wolf would make you worry. The change will only be skin deep; you will keep all of your mojo. Sam isn't as tall as you though, so you are going to have to compensate a little.”

“I want to be the other person to meet the not polite word to say in front of a child idiots that dared to lay hands on my brother,” Walt demands. Yes, it is a demand. There is no asking coming from him on this front. “And niece, just squirt the baby out now so I don't have to double my words just to say the F word.”

“The process is already moving forward, Uncle Walt. By the end of the day she will be out, but I am not sure why everyone thinks that will allow everyone to just start cursing like sailors again. I am positive she will be able to hear just as well outside of my womb.”

“True, but she will take naps, right?” Jonas asks.

“God, I hope so,” I say and actually feel just a little, itty bitty, kick from inside. I know she isn't that far, but I picture her head outside of my lady opening and just a foot sticking inside doing the kicking.

It is a really good thing I wasn't aware of her being in there for a month. I would have come up with a lot more strange images and eventually I think they would have led me straight to the funny farm.

“I think that settles who is going to be who. Sam will need to switch into Walt. I hope it doesn’t take you long to get used to all that extra muscle. Carrying around two cannons for arms cannot be easy. While Hilda is working her magic, why don't we get back to my original question? How many do you think will meet us on the battle field today?”

“There is a little over a hundred people gathered in the woods,” one of our escorts says. I know it is not Ian, but that is the extent of my knowledge.

“No way,” Phee says and whistles. “We should have brought a bigger boat.”

As far as I know, we didn't bring any boat and how one would help in this situation is a little beyond my grasp.

“It is a line from a movie, Nyx. Phee sometimes forgets you are not up-to-date on the current releases. Of course, that particular movie did come out before you were born, but they are all new to you,” Sebastian informs me.

“Seriously? You guys are going to get your 'Mates of the Year' titles removed if you don't keep her more versed in pop culture than that. I mean, you haven't sat her down to make her watch
Jaws
? Nyx, you need to ask for a divorce or something. They are mistreating you.”

Blah, blah, blah. I tuned out after she said seriously. I heard everything she said, but put the words on the straight path from one ear right out the other.

“Back to the hundred people we have waiting for us.” I swear they keep sidetracking me from the important stuff. “Anything less than two to one odds I think works out in our favor. I wouldn't have a problem branching that out to three to one if the Fae are any good with their magic wands.” I have changed my opinion from the earlier one where I worried about the opposition being enhanced.

“I have seen Fae practice for battle on my previous trips here and, darling, are you in for a treat,” Hilda says and I glance over to watch her eyebrows have some kind of weird conniption fit. I think it means she gets hot and bothered watching Fae do magic. Too much information and she didn’t even say anything specifically.

“Okay. Walt, Alex, and Hilda will have to lead us in that is the only way they will believe there isn’t a set up. Hilda pointed out to some of us earlier that there is a chance they will be able to see through the glamours. That is why we are doing so many crazy layers, in case anyone wondered.”

“Hilda is taking care of looks, but what about the smells? We don’t know for sure what we are going to face, but there is likely a few people that will be able to sniff you out. All the trickery will be for nothing if that is the case,” Jonas points out.

“You did bring me for a reason,” Hilda scoffs. “I was planning on making it so they wouldn’t smell more than roses when we arrived. That should cause enough fits for us to get in and dissect the little lab frogs.”

She is working out of a bag she produced out of nowhere. I bet Alex wishes he would have thought about asking her to carry his baby bag that way.

“Can you make mine taste like cherry?” Phee asks. “I love the smell and I haven’t had the pleasure of tasting one before.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” Hilda throws a little something extra in a vial and then puts her thumb over the top of it and starts shaking. “I usually go for a minty aftertaste, so if anyone else has a request they should get it in now.”

“Mint will be fine, Hilda. Thank you,” Sebastian says in a voice that says mint is what all you other guys are getting so don’t even think about requesting something different.

Phee grabs her vial and throws it back. I thought I had taught her to ask questions before doing something foolish like that. At the moment Hilda may be on the side of good, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to have a little fun. With the cherry wish, I foresee Phee having blue hair for a week. If Hilda hasn’t made that happen, I think I will ask for it when we get back.