Next Door Neighbors (15 page)

              As he held her close, feeling her body fit against his, her lilac scent permeated his senses. Every breath he took mesmerized him, making him crave every inch of her body, heart and soul.

              Taking a deep breath and then exhaling, Jill slightly pulled away from Brian. “Thanks for saying that.”

              “I meant every word,” Brian spoke wholeheartedly.

              Jill looked into his dark chocolate brown eyes. She saw his own hurt and frustration, yet there was something more profound hidden deep within. Though he was hurt and frustrated himself, he pushed his feelings aside to listen and care for her. Brian’s eyes portrayed a message she had seen in no other man.

              Integrity.

              Faithfulness.

              Love.

              For the few brief seconds that they gazed into one another’s eyes, Brian’s urge to kiss Jill grew intensely. If there was ever going to be a moment to display his affection, this was it. Brian slowly, eagerly leaned over to just inches before Jill’s lips, stopping just shy of delivering their first kiss. Excited she didn’t move away, he reached his destination, brushing his lips with hers.

              Their kiss started off gently, softly. It was tender and sweet. The longer it lasted, though, the more Jill had melted into it, and the deeper and more passionate it became.

              She needed him.

              He needed her.

              But a moment later Jill froze. The heat between them instantly turned to ice as she abruptly pulled away from what the two of them were enjoying just seconds ago.

              Puzzled, Brian asked, “Is everything all right?”

              She couldn’t do it. As much as Jill admitted to wanting Brian and as great as their kiss was, traveling down that road again was too big a risk. And with him leaving soon, she didn’t want to start something she could never finish. Shaking her head, she said, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t allow myself to get involved with you or any other man again.”

              Providing no other explanation, she completely freed herself from Brian’s hold and ran out of the room.

              Brian followed swiftly while shouting, “But I’m not like…”

              With the slam of a door, Jill was gone.

              A few feet behind, he added more silently, “Mark.”

13

              Ten days later Jill found herself sitting at her two-person dining table in the kitchen, sipping on some hot chocolate. Right in front of her sat a green and brown marbled vase with a bouquet of multi-colored sunflowers spilling over the top. They were found on her side doorstep just three days after Jill had shared her story with Brian, after the two of them shared a steamy, meaningful kiss. There was no note as to who they were from.

              But Jill knew they were from Brian. What she couldn’t figure out was how he knew those were her favorite.

              Admiring the beauty of the flowers, she once again played the events of that day in her head. She regretted telling Brian about Mark and what he did. If she wouldn’t have, there would have been no need for him to comfort her. Most importantly, there would have been no kiss.

             
Oh, but the kiss felt so right!

              His way of kissing her was as sweet as breathing in the flowers’ aroma.

              However, kissing Brian would only lead to something more. Something she told herself over and over again she wouldn’t allow. Something that really didn’t make sense anyway because it was only a matter of time that he’d be gone for good.

              How could I have let myself do that?

              She sighed out of disbelief.

              Allowing nothing further to possibly happen, these last ten days Jill had stayed away from Brian at all costs. She wasn’t quite sure how to be around him anyway now that they shared a romantic kiss.

              Would it get brought up?

              Would it be a big elephant in the room that they both ignored?

              Could they just move on as if it never happened?

              Jill had no clue. Not seeing him proved the easy way out.

              Brian also made no effort beyond the flowers to contact her, and she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

              Looking outside at the snow that just wouldn’t stop coming down, Jill’s first thought was that maybe the snow kept him away. Ashwin was near setting a record of snowfall accumulation. These last ten days alone there wasn’t a moment the snow had stopped coming down from the gray sky above. Brian had been away from the snow for a long time so this must be a big adjustment.

              Of course keeping up with the snow was a lot of work as well. Occasionally he’d be out there shoveling and snow blowing, as was Jill. She was just glad their paths never crossed.

             
Maybe Brian was just too busy to talk to me,
she pondered, remembering that he had a lot of work to do around the house and that he visited his mom often.

              Jill even thought it was possible that Brian had gone back home a couple of days. Not that she kept tabs on him, but not seeing his vehicle for an extended length of time could have meant he went home.

              Whatever his reasoning, one possibility scared Jill.

             
Maybe he just regrets kissing me.

              That would explain the flowers. Jill thought he must have been sorry and this was his way of making it up to her. It would also explain his absence.

              But why do I even care?

              Jill reaffirmed that the way things were was for the best.

              A brilliant idea popped in her head as she drank the rest of her hot chocolate and gazed at the flowers. Elena loved flowers and it had been a couple of days since she had stopped by so instead of lounging around she thought she might try to get out.

              Glancing out the window she second guessed herself, but then figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

              As she got ready to head out, she contemplated what flowers would be best to get for Elena. They had to be beautiful yet simple. The arrangement would need to last awhile because Jill never saw the point to flowers that died within a day or two. She also wanted to make sure that whatever she got, it wasn’t too much for the space Elena lived in. And of course it shouldn’t require a terrible amount of sunshine.

              Jill put on her jacket, driving gloves and headband. Opening the door, she braced herself against the cold that stabbed her skin like a knife. Then off she carefully ran to her car where she could once again be sheltered from the bitter cold.

              Slowly she started to back out of the garage and down her driveway. It was at that moment where Jill noticed Brian’s car had exhaust coming out from the tailpipe.

             
Is he leaving, too?

              Glancing in that direction again, she noticed nobody inside the vehicle. Not wanting to take any chances of him spotting her, she pushed down on the gas pedal a little harder in hopes to be on her way without Brian ever knowing.

              There was no traffic coming down the snow-covered road so Jill didn’t even have to stop before entering. She slightly turned the steering wheel as she made her way out onto the road.

              Then it happened.

              Jill’s car was stuck.

              She quickly put her car into drive to go back into her driveway. Once she was up a ways, she tried again to go in reverse.

              The car got stuck again.

              Come on, come on, come on!

              Again, she frantically went through the same steps as before, hoping the third time would be the charm.

              Nope.

              “Ugh!” she groaned.             

              She knew it would only be a matter of time before Brian might show up so over and over again she would drive forward and then back, figuring something had to give at some point.

---------------

              Brian’s feelings tortured him day in and day out ever since he kissed Jill. Kissing her was the moment he had longed for practically since meeting her, but now that he had, his pursuit of her was pushed back even further than where he started.

              He was confused. The moment he leaned in for their first kiss, Brian made sure not to force it or rush it. It had to be something that Jill wanted herself.

              And he could tell she did.

             
But why did she stop then?

              Again and again these last ten days Brian had to remind himself that Jill was a wounded soul, and that she was having a really tough time loving again.

              Not that he considered what she had before love. She might have loved Mark, but he didn’t love Jill. That was one thing Brian was sure about.

              Love didn’t throw away a marriage. Love didn’t pursue someone else while your commitment was already taken.

              Love wasn’t a feeling that could just come and go.

              Feeling absolutely horrible about Jill storming out that day, he vowed to make it up to her. When he saw the sunflowers in the green and brown vase, he knew right away that those were the ones he wanted to give her.

              In many ways those flowers reminded him of her, although the beauty of them didn’t compare to Jill’s natural appearance and inner character.

              He hoped the flowers would bring Jill back, but they didn’t. She had kept her distance, purposely avoiding him.

              And he let her go. If she needed space, Brian would allow her to have it. In the end, everything would work out if it was meant to, and he believed it was. He just wasn’t sure when or how.

              Zipping up the last remaining suitcase, he turned off the lights and put on his warmest coat. “Come on, Buddy,” he called, and the dog listened.

              As they left his mom’s house, Brian put Buddy in the back seat of his car and his luggage into the trunk. Just as he went to sit in the driver’s seat, a strange noise stopped him. He listened more carefully to try and figure out what it was.

              A grinding noise could be heard nearby.

             
I wonder if someone needs help,
he thought.

              Stepping back out of the car, he made his way down the driveway. Towards the front he saw where the sound was coming from.

              Jill was stuck.

              He knew she didn’t want to see him, but he couldn’t let her struggle. Not thinking twice, he immediately walked over to her car. She did not look happy.

              “Need help?” he asked loud enough for her to hear over the car engine and through the glass.

              Jill placed the car in park and got out of the vehicle.

              Avoiding eye contact, she briefly sighed, “Yeah.”

              “Where’s a shovel?”

              “In the garage.”

              He noticed she was being short with her replies, clear evidence she wanted nothing to do with him. Choosing not to let that bother him, he pushed it aside.

              The two of them ambled over to the garage. For the most part they kept to themselves, Brian respecting Jill’s wishes. But he also didn’t like how awkward it seemed so he occasionally tried small talk as they made their way back to the vehicle, Brian ready to shovel around the tires.

              “We sure have a lot of snow, don’t we?”

              “Yeah.”

              “It’s been a while since I’ve seen this much.”

              No reply.

              Brian moved over to another tire, shoveling as much of the snow away as he could.

              “I love the snow, but it sure can be a pain in the butt, can’t it?”

              “Mm-hmm.”

             
“This whole winter’s been crazy.”

              Again, Jill didn’t respond.

             
Come on, Jill. Talk!

              Brian checked the other side and concluded that she should be all set to go.

              “I think you’re good now. Why don’t you give it a try?”

              Without saying a word, she hopped back into her vehicle and put it in reverse. This time as she backed out, the car was able to make it fully onto the road. Not even glancing at Brian, she moved forward and sped off down the road.

              Brian waved politely and watched until the car could no longer be seen.

              He was hurt.

              He was sad.

              The way Jill acted just now was nothing short of cold. As cold, if not colder, than the temperature outside where he still stood with the shovel in his hand.

              Letting out a deep sigh, he walked back up to her garage to put the shovel away. Closing down the garage, he made his way around to his car, and got ready to head home.

             
I’m not going to give up on you, Jill. I’m not going to give up.

---------------

              Jill made her way over to Elena’s place after picking up some flowers from the local flower shop. What she picked out was a plant with vibrant purple blossoms that needed little to no care, perfect for someone like Elena. The moment she saw them she knew they were the ones to get.

              Pulling into a parking space, she turned off the car and took a deep breath before heading in. She had to get herself put back together after what happened earlier. Thinking about all that had transpired moments before, she grew frustrated and angry.

              Not at Brian, but herself.

              She kicked herself for trying to leave so fast that she didn’t pay attention well enough to how she was backing out of the driveway. Jill was almost certain that the whole getting stuck scenario could have been avoided had she been careful. But because she saw Brian’s car running and because she didn’t want to see him yet, she was careless.

             
And look where it got me.

              Beyond frustrated, she had to admit she was a little embarrassed to be seen in such a predicament. She felt really stupid for doing what she did.

              If that weren’t bad enough, she felt awful for how she did treat Brian when he selflessly came to her rescue. He was always quick to help so it was no surprise that he offered. He was pleasant and didn’t force a conversation on her.

              Yet she was stone cold towards him.

              He was friendly; she acted like he was an enemy.

              Jill thought about how she should have at least partook in the casual conversation that he carried on his own.

              And did I not say thank you?