New Title 1 (34 page)

“Ava?” Sean called out to me as I stumble back to him, still adjusting my clothes.

“Sorry I had to change after my shower,” I said hoping I am not being too obvious but still being sexy enough that he will want to try. His slight smirk tells me nothing but that he is curious to my sudden weirdness. Lillah thankfully is kind and falls asleep peacefully, allowing us time to make dinner together rather than having to order out. Sean lights some candles without me even suggesting, and it is all I can do not to scream for joy and attack him. I sit down with no hint to my ulterior motive and watch his body move. With every bite, every twist and thrust of his tongue, every flick of his fingers and every gaze in my direction until suddenly he gets up and sits right next to me.

“You look too good to be sitting over here all alone,” he said taking my hand in his.

“Did you get a chance to talk to the realtor today?” I asked him while enjoying the tender circles he makes on my hand.

“Yes, she brought some options over.”

“So you found a house for us?”

“A rental yes but I am still working on somewhere permanent. I should probably also tell you there is a photographer coming over.”

“A photographer?”

“To photograph us for a magazine.”

I jerk my hand away from his. “Sean why would you do that? And without asking me?”

“If we take the pictures ourselves then we can beat the reporters from trying to get the first scoop. It will cut down on the craziness and make it safer than trying to hide Lillah and you from them. Once they find out, they will be relentless until they get what they want, this way we beat them to the punch. Believe me I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think it was for the best, sweetheart.”

“Why didn’t you do that before, when it was just us?”

“I didn’t know where it was going then. And you were right, I was scared to answer questions about us. I was scared that it wouldn’t work and then it would be my fault for putting you in the limelight again and then not be able to give you anything in return for the pain it would surely cause.”

“And now you know. Where we’re going I mean?” I said staring at my plate and pushing food around with my fork.

Sean, using one finger pulls my face towards his. “Ava, I know exactly what you want and I want the same. All I ask is for you to give me a little time to do it right. I love you more than I can tell you and I’m not ever leaving you or Lillah again.” Pausing he kisses my hand. “Let me ask you the right way, you deserve it,” he said with his tender green eyes melting every part of my body. I grasp his hand on my face, nodding as he touches my lips softly and follows with an excelling breath. “You know, you’re a pretty good cook, I would have never guessed that about you.”

“Why is that?”

“Because when I first met you I got this impression of you being so uptight that you ate frozen dinners, so none of your food would touch.” He smirked.

I eye him with disapproval, “ha-ha! Well you know what? When I first met you I thought you were so full of yourself, that you had mirrors covering all your walls and ceilings, so you could continuously look at yourself,” I said proudly.

“What? You did not.”

“I did, I even imagined that you hired somebody just to walk around with a mirror for you.”

“That’s absurd,” he said shaking his head at me with a mocking smile.

“I know but I thought you were,” I said cocking my head to one side.

“You know if someone told me then that you would end up having my child, I would have thought you must have taken advantage of me in my sleep.”

“If anything sweetheart, it would have been the other way around. You were after all, the one gawking at me while I took a shower.”

“Mmm … the shower,” he moans staring off into space with a goofy smile. I kick his chair to bring him back to me. “That wasn’t nice,” he scowls.

“You’re sitting there fantasizing about me, right in front of me.”

“So? It has been a long time. Damn Ava, I haven’t had sex since you.”

My jaw drops, “you haven’t been with anybody else … at all … since me?”

Shaking his head, he looks at me from the corner of his eyes. “I did try once. I went out specifically trying to find someone to get you out of my head. I brought her home and had her in my bed and then …” He grimaces as if he is remembering something horrible.

“Then what?” I asked facing him fully.

“Then right before anything could happen, I called her your name.”

“You didn’t?” I said trying hard to hold back my laughter.

“I did and it was my ex-girlfriend, so you would have thought I could have remembered her name.”

“What did you do?”

“I kicked her out and then went to bed alone and pissed off.”

“Pissed off at whom?”

“You.”

“Me! Why?”

“Because I couldn’t get you out of my head. It had been over a year and I still could not get you out of my head. You don’t know how frustrating that was.”

“So no sex with her, just kissing?”

“Yes, but in some fucked up way, I thought I was kissing you. I don’t know why, you kiss way better than her.”

I smile, “really?”

“Don’t get cocky, but yes.” He pushes his plate away and leans on the table as he watches me finish. “I assume with Lillah and all you didn’t get much dating in either?”

With a hard gulp, I force a reassuring smile. “We should get this cleaned up so we can relax,” I said taking our dishes to the kitchen quickly.

“Ava?”

“Hmmm.”

“Tell me you didn’t have sex with some other guy?”

“Sean, you know I am not good with new men touching me like that.”

“I did.”

“Yes, but you’re different.”

Sneaking up behind me, he waits for me to face him and hovers over me so I cannot escape his intense stare. “Ava, what aren’t you telling me?”

I shake my head but he is not buying it at all. “Well I might have gone on one or two dates, after Lillah was born. People set me up trying to make me feel better. You know because I had a baby and I wasn’t sure if I still looked attractive to anyone. I went out only to make myself feel better. That’s all.” I slowly look back up into his concentrating eyes.

“You went on two dates?” He looks at me as my eyes, tell the truth. “Several?” He gulps. “You didn’t?”

“NO! I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. It really was nothing, some of them were terrible but they made me feel like I am desirable and that is all I wanted, I promise. They would try to kiss me and I always maneuvered away. It was frustrating for them, and most never called me again after the first date.”

“Most didn’t?”
He would hear that.

“One guy did. I met him at the grocery store, he is sweet though.”

“He picked you up at a grocery store? Did he know you have a baby?”

“Well I had Lillah with me, he thinks she is adorable. He reminds me of you. Except he is young,” I said wishing I could take it back. “Well he’s only been out of college two to three years, he’s twenty-three at best.”

“You went out with someone younger than you,
a lot
younger than you?”

“Hey, watch it! He is nice, he goes running with me and helps me at the gym. He says I have a better body than any of those girls there.” His eyes intensify.
He deserved that one.
“But nothing happened.” I smile innocently at him.

“What’s his name?” He glares at me as I try to speak. “What’s his name, Ava?”

“Tad, why?”

“Tad? What the hell kind of name is Tad? Never mind, he sounds like a loser,” he said waving off the idea of Tad.
Now would be a good time to shut my mouth and agree.

“Yes he is, feel better.” With a simple look, Sean lets me know that it was a stupid question and walks away from me mumbling under his breath.

“I can’t believe you went out on dates.”

“Well you kissed and tried to sleep with your ex-girlfriend.”

“No, I tried to fuck her, nothing more.”

“How is that any better?”

“I don’t know, it just is.” He said taking his wine and going into the living room to sit down on the sofa, still mumbling under his breath.

Great now
he’s
in a bad mood and I am horny as hell.
Surely it won’t be too hard to get him to refocus.
I turn out the lights in the kitchen, leave the candles still burning and walk in front of him while he sits, leaning on his knees, and still mumbling under his breath. I take the opportunity to quickly undo the last couple of buttons on my shirt. I barely show my diamond which he specifically asked for me to put back in last night. He is still not paying attention, so I undo a couple of top buttons too.
To hell with it, go for obvious
.
One more button with an inviting stance.
But he continues to grumble. Rolling my eyes ...
idiot, if he would only realize
I am
throwing myself at him. He was begging me last night and now he doesn’t even see me?

I grab his hands and pull them to my waist. “What are you doing?” he asked ridiculously.

“Sean, pay attention to me. It already happened and it’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s not?”

He is so insanely jealous
. “It’s not! I thought of you on every date and the whole time wishing it was you instead.”
I give up.
I let go of his hands and put my own on my hips, “Sean! Get over it! Honestly, we could be having a real nice night and you are dwelling on some guys that aren’t even here, that don’t mean anything to me.” I keep huffing until I feel his hands glide up my legs to my thighs and abruptly reach around to grab my behind and pull me to him. He traces around my diamond with his tongue, causing me to lose my breath as he pulls up my shirt kissing my stomach, sucking and exhaling lightly against the wetness he creates on my skin. Standing up in front of me, he pulls off his shirt and throws mine behind me, snapping open my bra, he tosses it aside. His mouth with eager massaging moans, takes hold of my naked breasts. Holding his head against me, I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his mouth. I remain standing as he unbuttons my jeans, pulling them down until his tongue can reach underneath the edge of my panties. Muffling my excitement, I suck on my fingers, watching as his lips brush against me briefly. I catch sight of his cocky smile, the smile that can make any woman tear her clothes off for him and I am no different. Using his palms held out wide, he slides my panties slowly down my legs leaving me nude and wanting in front of him. Sean glances up at me once before moving in and with simple movements of his tongue, he does all the right things while I keep my fingers tight in my mouth.
Panting.
He gently spreads my legs further apart, while I fist his hair. Naked and vulnerable, feeling his tongue, his fingers, and lips graze against me repeatedly, until my moans become satisfied whimpers. His cocky smile finds its way back to my lips.

“I wanted to show you my appreciation for dinner.”

“What about showing your appreciation for having your child?” I asked jokingly.

“Oh I’m going to take care of that right now, baby,” he said picking me up in his arms and carrying me to bed. Watching me with his sex driven eyes, he slowly removes his pants, reducing my patience completely. I reach out eagerly, pushing his pants off him. Seeing how hard he is, I take hold of him feeling his pulsating growth between my fingers until he pulls my hands away and climbs in on top of me. Placing his hands to either side of me he opens my mouth with his, “say it, tell me what you want.” His tongue touches mine lightly. “Say it,” he said against my lips.

“I want you … I want you inside me.” I begged feeling his hands slide along my legs pulling them up around him.

“I love you.” He said focusing on my eyes and giving me what I want. I wrap myself around him kissing his toned chest, sucking on his delicious neck, and finding his perfectly soft lips as he pushes in even deeper than the previous. Our breathing rough and rugged, our hands grasping and massaging
,
“let go Ava. I want to hear you let go, I want to feel you,” he continues to whisper in my ear, seducing me into ecstasy until my toes curl and I feel him growing larger inside me. He groans deep into my skin, “that’s it baby.” I arch my back against him, gripping him tight as the sensation shakes me and controls me into my release. Groaning he continues, whispering, gripping my thighs tight, and building me up again.

I grip the back of his neck, unsure if I am going to explode in pleasure or pass out in his arms. “Sean, please!” Rocking his body back and forth, again and again, faster he pushes until – climax. He slows with our release, shivering to the end. Exhausted and relaxed we end the night curled into each other, using our old rule, of no clothes. “I love you so much,” I smile finding my place within his arms as he whispers the same.

I
t is amazing how quickly things can change. Sean has permanently relocated to Atlanta and surprisingly so did Ethan and Abbey. Neither thought twice about moving. I assume to get away from the Hollywood lifestyle that neither enjoys. Mary practically lives here already with her new boyfriend and Randy always follows Sean, and he is especially excited about being closer to his family in Alabama. While Lillah and I, are moving into a much larger lifestyle, one I am not sure I am ready for. Sean helped me pack the house and Lillah’s things especially. I left some furniture for Kyle, who is ecstatic about moving into my little warm house. I try not to concentrate on leaving my home and to be excited about the other parts of my life but Sean has caught me a few times saddened, by the memories I am leaving behind. He tries to make me feel better and I always pretend that he is, despite my anxiety about my new life. However, he did give me one last memory, the day Tad stopped by to see if I wanted to go running with him.

When I heard someone at the door, I was a little surprised at first but then I realized the day and the time. I tried to get to the door without alerting Sean but he caught my expression and cut me off.