New Forever (7 page)

The old part of me wants to resurface and seek revenge, but I suppress the need, suffocating myself in the process. I do it for Hayley, because if she knew what I’m capable of, what I’ve done in the past, it would hurt her. I can’t chance her finding out. Just one more secret I have to keep from her, all in the name of protection. A standup hero is what I’m turning out to be.

After the nurses stitch me up, clean up my cuts, an elderly doctor comes in with my X-Ray results.

“Whoever did this to you did a bang up job,” he says and I chuckle.

“What’s the damage?” I ask, not really caring. I already know I hurt like hell. Even breathing is a chore.

“Couple bruised ribs. Nothing a night in a comfortable jail cell won’t fix.”

Doc’s got jokes, and somehow that’s just what I need.

“The beds can’t be too shabby,” I tell him, not bothering to hide my smile. “Besides, I hear inmates are treated better than patients at nursing homes.”

“Free room and board, plus free food. Sounds like a win-win.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

“Until Bubba tries to make you his girlfriend.”

“And you gotta pay bail,” I add and he lets out a throaty laugh.

“You know,” he says, sitting on my bed, “the store owner talked to the cops and they said they’d cut you a deal if you tell them who did this to you.”

Cut me a deal? This guy watches too much television. I’ll spend twenty-four hours in jail at the most for my petty crime. But his words stump me long enough to make him cough for my attention. I simply don’t understand why the store owner would offer to help me out in any way. I did a lot more than just inconvenience him with my little break in, but I believe the doctor. Even with a gun pointed at me, the man looked kind—tired but kind. The kind of tired that speaks of years of struggles. I’m not sure where the kindness factors in, but maybe he saw something in me worth saving. I’ll never see him again, but I hope to prove him right.

“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t see their faces.” Except for the kid, butalthough I know it’s stupid, I want to protect him. He’s just a kid after all, who’s probably never had anyone protect him before. Could it be possible that I too saw something in a stranger worth saving? Or did his foot slamming against my head do some sort of irrevocable damage that’s left me unable to make lucid decisions?

“Right.” He stands up. “I’ll get you a prescription for pain pills.”

“Don’t bother. I’ll deal with the pain.” I decide, no longer wanting to abate the pain. “Just ask them to un-cuff me so I can get dressed and we can get out of here. I don’t want to leave Bubba waiting too long.” I wink at my doctor and he leaves with another throaty laugh.

Although I ask for a private cell, I’m shoved into a group cell. I walk in comfortably, making eye contact with anyone I catch staring at me and with a scowl on my face, I sit in a corner with my back against the wall. I haven’t looked in any mirrors yet, but I know I look rough. If I can maintain an attitude of roughness, I’ll be left alone. Just one more tidbit I learned years ago.

The cell smells of men, but it’s not what women mean when they speak of masculinity. There’s no clean smelling deodorant or cologne here. Having made a quick but thorough assessment, I sit in an unoccupied corner and keep my eyes trained on any individuals who stare at me for too long. I hear but ignore the comments aimed at me and keep my hands from twitching when someone circles in front of me.

I cough back a laugh when he stands in front of me and simply stare back at him through unblinking eyes. I relax the muscles in my corded neck when he jabs a finger in my direction and cracks his knuckles. What a wasteful move on his part. I won’t be intimidated, I’m not fresh meat. Never moving from my spot in the corner, I plant my feet apart and feel my nostrils flare until he moves away from me, shrugging his shoulders as if he is readying for a fight. The silence in the room grows while I continue to watch the man until he sits back down across from me. Obviously not one to get side tracked very easily, the man laughs in my direction and throws insults at me to prove who the lesser man is. I bite back my retorts, but continue to glare in his direction when a growl escapes from my throat. He shakes his head and laughs one last time at me, knowing he’s proven his point. He’s the veteran with more balls in his court—congratulations. I want to applaud his accomplishments, but remain quiet in my corner.

The pain in my side and ribs is intolerable, but I use the pain to keep me awake and remain seated in my corner, even when my name is called.

“You get one phone call, kid,” the police officer repeats.

What the hell is it with people calling me ‘boy’ and ‘kid’ tonight? I’m a grown ass man.

“Don’t need one,” I reply, knowing tomorrow morning I’ll be set free when someone in the state attorney’s office reviews my history and deems me reasonably fit to be kicked back into society. Why waste taxpayers’ dollars when there are actual crimes to deal with?

I spend the rest of the night with my eyes closed, but listening intently to the men around me. I’ll be damned if I let Bubba anywhere near me.

I squint up at the sky and curse the morning sun. I don’t have sunglasses, but I do have a colossal headache that Mother Nature is screwing me with. My vision wavers as I step onto the sidewalk, ready to camp out for the day in my new home – under the overpass about fifteen blocks away.

“You could go that way,” a familiar voice stops me in my tracks and I spin around to face Adam. Of course. Why wouldn’t he somehow find out about this? “Or you could go home with me.”

“Thanks for the offer, buttercup, but I like my options on the street better.”

“Quit being a hard ass and get in the car.”

“How’d you even know where I was?” I ask, not ready to face the rest of the day on my own.

“I know the girl who booked you from my Wasted Circle days. She remembered you from the barbecues she’d went to. You must’ve made a damn good impression for her to recognize you under all that,” he says, waving his hand in front of my bruised face.

“I’ve got a way with ladies,” I deadpan and Adam waits for me to follow him.

On the streets or with Adam? If I go stay on the streets tonight, I won’t have a fighting chance if those guys show up again.

“How much does Hayley know?” I ask.

“I haven’t told her or Dee yet.”

I nod. Adam will stay quiet if I asked him to. He’d keep my secret, but then I’m condemning myself to his damning eyes. Adam is too perceptive – he may not always say it, but he sees way too much. There’s never any judgment behind those eyes though, just too much knowledge. My pride tells me the streets are the only reasonable solution, but then I hear the small whisper of my heart reminding me of Hayley. What would she think if I listened to my pride and wound up dead?

“Yeah, okay¸ just do me one more favor,” I pause for a second, but continue to talk when he stays quiet. “Don’t tell Dee. Make up an excuse. I don’t want Hayley knowing anything.”

I hear him sigh loudly. “Dee’s in Tampa with Hayley. They don’t know anything that’s going on down here. Hell, I don’t know what the hell is going on down here.”

“Neither do I.”

I get inside Adam’s SUV with little more than a grunt in his direction before I put on my seatbelt. I should be grateful. Hell, I am grateful, but now he wants and deserves the truth.

“You look like shit,” he says and I nod, barely acknowledging him any further. I’m acting like a whiny little bitch. I know I am, but that doesn’t stop me from moving forward with my holier than thou demeanor. As if I hadn’t just completely inconvenienced him, and he hadn’t just saved my life.

Hell, I don’t just look like shit – I felt like shit too. In a forty-eight hour time span, I’ve broken up with my girl, beat up some little punk piece of shit, got the crap beat out of me in return, broken into a store with every intention to steal from a stranger, had a gun pointed at me, been stitched up, and spent a night in jail. All in all, a pretty successful two days, depending on your definition of success.

Taking me in with a long hard look, Adam nods his head slightly and drives to his house without further discussion about my appearance. Silence is good. Not enough people appreciate the beauty that surrounds silence, but I do. I always have.

Your vision clears in times of silence and that is when you truly get to see a person.

I try not to dissect the situation, but that’s what I do. I dissect, I over analyze, I rip things apart until the seams don’t stand a chance in hell of ever unifying. In other words, I’m notorious for screwing things up. And then I find myself alone again, with my overly active brain conjuring up even more scenarios.

The atmosphere in the SUV is far more relaxed than I should feel, but that’s Adam. He’s calm and, in return, he calms you. I stop my over analyzing and just breathe in the quiet, letting my head rest on the window as Adam drives. My throat bobs with every breath while my ribs squeeze and shatter the remaining part of my pride.

I get out of the car when we arrive at Adam and Dee’s house and for the first time see Josie sleeping in the backseat. I sigh loudly when he reaches into to the car and unbuckles her gently, so he doesn’t wake her.

I’m a world-class ass. Adam has gone out of his way to help me and I’m acting like he’s inconveniencing me. I can’t even give him a proper excuse, but in that moment I decide to give him a reason for last night – except it’ll be one full of holes and half-truths.

I follow them inside and head to the kitchen while Adam puts Josie back to bed. Taking out two beers, I open one for myself and set the other aside for Adam. Even though the sun has been out for a little over an hour, Adam takes his beer without question when he steps into the kitchen and together we drink in communal silence.

“Hayley and I broke up,” I say, breaking the silence.

“Figured that much.” He doesn’t bother looking at me while he continues to drink and I know he’s waiting for me to tell him why I look the way I do and why he had to pick me up in front of the city jail.

“When’d she leave for Tampa?” I ask instead.

“Doesn’t matter, does it?” Adam asks into his beer and shrugs when he finally looks at me.

Whatever game he’s playing, he’s doing a damn good job at it. I mentally curse him for making me want to bare my soul just so he’ll give me the tiniest glimpse into Hayley’s life. I don’t know how I’m going to live without her. It’s only been two days and she’s invaded every part of who I am so deep that I can’t form a single thought without her making some sort of appearance. Damn her. Damn him. Damn myself.

I pick up my beer and finish it off while Adam continues to study me.

“I just wanted to protect her, man.” It’s true. It’s the only truth he’ll get from me as to why I left her. It’s the only truth I’m brave enough to speak out loud.

“Protect her from you?” he asks and I nod. He puts his beer down and looks at me as if he were staring straight through me. Uncomfortable, much? “Don’t you think she should get to decide what or who she needs protection from?”

“Look at me,” I say, fully assessing the state I’m in.

“I’m trying not to.” Hearing Adam chuckle when my life feels like it’s going to hell fast, somehow lightens the mood so I flip him off.

“It’s not like I left her without anything.” I try to make myself feel better by telling Adam how I left Hayley with everything I have so she wouldn’t be burdened with financial responsibilities. I mean, her small catering business does well, but it can only bring in so much income. I tell him about my mugging, which led to my piss poor attempt at stealing a laptop and my eventual stay in prison.

“So you left yourself homeless?” Adam lifts his eyebrows and, again, I grow uncomfortable under his watchful eyes. “You’re either noble or incredibly stupid.”

Definitely stupid.

“Not like I’ve never been in this situation before. Today’s not a good example, but I used to be a damn good thief,” I joke and Adam laughs lightly while he shakes his head at me.

“You’re like the knight in a tin foil get-up,” he jokes back and I laugh with him although I feel stripped of all my dignity. Naked and on display for the world to point and laugh at. “Get some rest. You can stay in the guest room.”