New Beginnings (101 page)

“Damon Starkis.” He let his name settle in, obviously giving Derek a moment to accept that he was seriously outclassed.

“Starkis?” Derek glared at him, almost as though he was calling his bluff. “As in Demetrius and Deacon Starkis?”

“My father and brother,” Damon said smugly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.”

“Derek Reid.”

Damon lifted a broad shoulder, as though his nemesis’s name was of little consequence. I had to hand it to him—the man had arrogance down to an art. But I’d seen other facets of his personality. Damon was also fun, charismatic, intelligent, and charming. He definitely had many sides, and I wondered whether I’d done my friend a disservice by suggesting she keep her distance from him.

“I’ll be ready to go in a few, Derek,” Eleni said, smiling warmly. “Your timing is perfect actually. I’m famished.”

When I heard my phone vibrate, indicating I had a text, I considered ignoring it. I didn’t want to miss a minute of the drama unfolding in front of me. But it might have been Deacon hoping to steal me away for lunch, so I retrieved my phone from my purse.
Drew? What the hell?
I hadn’t heard from him since he’d moved out.

His text was ominous.
Meet me in your boyfriend’s office now.
Why was he going to see Deacon? Whatever it was, that text could only mean trouble.

“Barb, I have to dash.” I slipped my phone into my purse as I stood. “Can I change now?”

“Sure, go ahead,” she said, waving toward the fitting room. “Just be careful with the pins.”

Eleni grabbed my arm as I walked past. “Problem?”

“I’ll let you know.” I had the uneasy feeling there very well might be.

I changed as quickly as I could, slipping back into my jeans, layered tanks, and ballerina flats before I waved a hasty good-bye to Barbara and Eleni. I jogged to reach the elevator before the doors closed, and my heart beat wildly as I made my way to the top floor. I didn’t want to see any bloodshed, but I could do little to stop them if they were determined to go at it. I couldn’t imagine Deacon inciting a physical altercation in his office, in front of his staff, but I knew from experience that his self-control often snapped when he was provoked.

I noted Deacon’s receptionist had already left for lunch. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. She wouldn’t overhear the personal details of my life, but she also couldn’t call for help if a fight broke out. Hopefully I wasn’t too late. Deacon’s office door was open a crack, and I was just about to push it open when I heard the words that stopped me in my tracks.

Drew asked Deacon, “When were you planning to tell Mia you’re a sex addict, Starkis?”

Deacon

My poker face had won me a small fortune over the years, so I knew my impassive mask would fool this sucker too. There was no way he could know for sure. I’d only told…
shit.
“Get out of here.” I turned back to my computer. “My time is too valuable to waste on you.”

“She doesn’t know, does she?” Drew asked, sounding smug. “Mia doesn’t know that you’re like a drug addict or an alcoholic, only minutes away from needing another hit.” He sneered. “Are you getting a little twitchy now? Thinking about calling Mia up here for a quickie to get you through the day?”

I had been thinking about doing just that, but no way would I give him the satisfaction of admitting I needed my Mia fix. I had no choice. It was like a sickness, a disease without a cure. My sex addiction was the reason I’d avoided serious relationships because I always believed I couldn’t remain faithful to just one woman. It was also the reason I’d continued
seeing
other women while trying to lure Mia away from this loser.

But I didn’t have to admit anything to him. As long as I continued to deny it and he had no proof, Mia would take my word over his. I would tell her about my demons long after I was convinced I’d slain them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?” He walked around my office as if he had the right to be there, studying pictures of me with dignitaries and celebrities. “Hmmm, why don’t we call Christie up here?” He faced me, his eyes glittering with amusement. “Will you call her a liar to her face?”

Son of a bitch.
I’d told Christie in a moment of weakness, after a few too many drinks. She had been pressing me about why we couldn’t see more of each other, or see each other exclusively, so I’d told her one woman would never be enough for me because of my… problem.

Afterward, I’d realized there was a risk she would tell Mia since they were friends, so I’d intended to give her an incentive—in the form of a million dollars—to keep her mouth shut. But I’d been complacent. I hadn’t made the offer yet because I’d assumed she would come to me if Mia asked too many questions about our former relationship. I was still Christie’s boss, and I knew how much she needed the job. But apparently my oversight was coming back to bite me.

“Tell me why you’re here,” I said, clasping my hands over my stomach. “You’re not going to get Mia back. She’s done with you.”

“You don’t just throw away eight years on a whim.” Slicing a hand through the air, he said, “She may have been blinded by your money and power, but once she finds out the truth about you, she’ll come back to me.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” Of course, I couldn’t be sure of anything. If I were in Mia’s position, I didn’t know how I would react to news like that.

“Why don’t we call Mia up here? Let her decide.”

“No!” I slammed my fist on the desk. “It’s none of her business or yours!” Of course, the former was a lie. It was her business, especially if she agreed to become my wife.

“Really?” A slow smile swept across his face. “Do you think Mia would agree with that?” He didn’t give me a chance to respond. “How many women have there been, Starkis? Hundreds? Thousands?”

I’d lost count years ago, when the numbers had been adding up and I began despising my own weakness. Instead of letting him know how rattled I was, I decided to bait him. It would at least give the illusion I still had the upper hand, though at the moment, he was the one with all the power—the power to destroy what I had with Mia and, in the process, destroy me.

“Jealous, are you?”

He tipped his head from one side to the other. “See, that’s the difference between you and me, man. Women are like ice cream to you—you want to keep trying new flavors to satisfy your craving. Me? I was happy with just one. I loved Mia. I still do.”

“Too bad she doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You don’t know how she’s gonna feel when she finds out about this.”

Fire was building inside me, and I needed an outlet before I exploded. “You want her after I’ve had her? Be my guest. But I can promise you that every time you’re in bed with her, it’ll be me she’s thinking about.” I’d meant to torture him, but that visual tormented me instead.

“Nice to know what you really think of me, Deacon.” Mia threw the door open, the anguished look on her beautiful face evidence that she’d heard every word.

No!
“Mia…” I stood. “We obviously need to talk.” I glared at Drew. “Get the hell out before I throw you out.”

He ignored me, smiling at his ex-girlfriend instead. “Oh good, I’m glad you got my text, sweetheart. I was worried you wouldn’t pick it up right away.”

He’d arranged this? Of course he had. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d no doubt earned Christie’s trust, worn her down, and made her believe they had a future. I couldn’t say I blamed him. If another man had tried to take Mia from me, I would have resorted to every underhanded trick in the book to get her back.

“I can’t believe you,” she said, staring straight through me. “You told Christie about this, but you didn’t have the guts to tell me?”

“I would have.” I saw her shutting down, and I knew I had to do something fast or she’d build an impenetrable wall I’d never break through. “When the time was right.”

“When would that have been?” she asked, on the verge of tears. “When you went away on your next business trip and screwed the waitress in the hotel restaurant because you couldn’t go one night without? Is that how it is with sex addiction? You just need a warm body in your bed—the names and faces don’t matter?”

The door was still open. I didn’t need my employees hearing all the sordid details of my life, so I rounded the desk to close it, but she bolted. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I ran after her, but she slipped through the elevator doors before I could get to her. My heart had never beat faster, not even after a mind-numbing orgasm or a dangerous trek in the safari. I couldn’t lose her. I pounded the buttons with the side of my fist, muttering every expletive I could think of while I considered whether or not the stairs would be faster.

“You’re wasting your time,” Drew said, leaning against my office doorframe with his arms crossed. “I know Mia. You betray her, and it’s over.”

“I haven’t betrayed her,” I said, pounding the buttons.

“A lie by omission is the same thing.”

I considered whether or not I should pound on him instead, but I couldn’t let Mia leave the building. If I did, she may never come back.

Finally the doors of the second elevator car opened, and I shut him out as I punched the button for the ground floor. She was crossing the lobby when I stepped off the elevator.

“Mia, wait!”

She kept walking while dozens of people stared slack-jawed as I sprinted across the lobby. I didn’t give a shit about propriety anymore. I was more worried about my life, my future with the woman who meant everything to me.

I grabbed her arm before she could run. “You’re not leaving until we talk about this.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!” she screamed, pushing against my chest in an effort to break free. “You’re a lying bastard! You never intended to be faithful to me. You couldn’t be!”

“Come with me.” I gritted my teeth as I dragged her by the hand across the lobby to the security office. A guard was monitoring the cameras, but he jumped up when I growled, “Get out.” I slammed and locked the door before turning toward her. I forced myself to take a deep breath before I said the only words I knew she wanted to hear. “I’m sorry. I should have told you, but I couldn’t risk losing you.”

“How could you?” She leaned against the edge of the desk, her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach. “How could you let me fall in love with you while you knew there was no way you could be faithful to me?”

I wanted to grab her, to hold her and never let go, but I knew she would fight me. “It’s an addiction like any other,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “I can fight it. I can get help. I can take it one day at a time. For you, I’d do anything.”

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping down each cheek as she bit her bottom lip. “How long?”

“Years.” My breath was shaky, my hands trembling from a fear unlike any I’d ever known. I couldn’t lie anymore, but I knew the truth would set
her
free. The thought of that horrified me.

“I guess it makes sense now,” she whispered. “So many women in your life yet never a serious relationship.” She looked at me, her eyes overflowing with tears. “It’s because you knew… you knew you couldn’t be faithful. Right?” When I didn’t respond, she said, “Please. You owe me the truth.”

“I didn’t believe I could be faithful because of my”—I cleared my throat—“compulsion. But you changed everything.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure? That night I found you with Selene, would you have slept with her had I not shown up?”

I closed my eyes as I sank against the desk across from her. I couldn’t look her in the eye and lie to her, but admitting the truth would have been the final nail in my coffin.

“That’s what I thought.” She pushed off the desk and made it the few steps to the door. “Maybe if you’d been honest with me from the beginning, we could have figured out how to work through this together. But you couldn’t do that, and that speaks volumes about what our relationship would have been like. It’s better we end it now, before we both get in too deep.”

“Can’t you see I’m already in too deep?” My voice sounded raspy and raw. “There’s no way out for me now. Sex was my obsession before you came into my life. Now it’s you.”

Her eyes widened in panic. “You have to stay away from me.”

“I can’t.” Scaring her wasn’t my intent, but I refused to lie to her again.

“You don’t have a choice.” She squared her shoulders, obviously trying to find the courage to make me back down. “I’ll get a restraining order.”

“You work for me.”

“Not anymore.”

My gut twisted as reality crashed down around me. I couldn’t hang on any longer. She was slipping away, out of my grasp, and I couldn’t reach her.

“Don’t say that!” My long strides ate up the small room, and I was on her before she could blink. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”

“No.” She turned her face away, biting her lip when I tried to kiss her. “I gave myself to a man I thought I knew, a man I thought I could trust. You’re not him.”

“I am,” I said desperately, wishing I could find the words to make this mess go away. I hated the man I’d become, the man who’d driven her away with his sickness. “You just have to give me a chance to prove it.”

She shoved hard against my chest. “I did give you a chance, and you blew it.”

“I love you,” I whispered, letting my hands fall to my sides as she reached behind her for the door handle. “Please. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”

“You haven’t given me a choice.”

I watched her walk away. The pain grew with every step she took until it felt as if it would cut off my air supply.

“You wanna talk about it?” Damon stood in the doorway, blocking my view of Mia’s back.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as the numbness set in.

“I came to ask Eleni out for lunch, but she had other plans.” Damon stepped inside, closing the door behind him, when I retreated into the security room. “What happened, man? I heard you two arguing, and when Mia left, it look like she’d been through hell.”