Never Say Never (12 page)

But now there was Jill, and for some darn reason Dustin couldn’t fathom, his emotions were feeling very twisted.

“I don’t know what my problem is,” Dustin grumbled, still amazed by the surge of territorial wrath that had flooded him. “I’ve only had two and a half beers.”

“I think I know what your problem is, old friend,” Marsh said, with a grin. “That little lady’s putting a rise in your Levi’s.”

Around midnight, Holly decided she needed another bottle to tide her over until dawn. Jill got up and slipped on an old terrycloth robe and some house shoes before picking up the wailing infant. “I think a change is in order, too,” Jill said soothingly. “First, we’ll get that formula warming.”

She snatched up a diaper from the bureau, which had swiftly become a makeshift baby accessory area and then hoping that Eunice wouldn’t hear them and think she needed to come assist her, Jill hurried downstairs to the kitchen.

At the same time as she dropped the cold bottle into a cup of drawn hot water, the front door opened. Jill went to peer out into the hallway, carrying baby Holly in her arms. It was Dustin. And judging from the frown on his face, not too happy to see her.

“What are you doing up?” he demanded.

“I might ask you the same question,” she replied crisply. With a stern look at his mussed hair and western shirt that had come loose from his jeans, Jill said, “It appears that I’m the only one with a good excuse for being awake at this hour.”

With that, she turned and marched into the kitchen. Testing the bottle for warmth, Jill dried it off. Dustin stood in the doorway, watching, but she ignored him as she crossed into the parlor. Quickly, she plugged in the Christmas tree lights and then settled onto the antique sofa to feed Holly.

“Now what are you doing?” Dustin asked.

“Does anything about that question appear to be rather ridiculous to you?” Jill was a little cross herself from being awakened in the middle of deep sleep. She wanted Dustin to go upstairs so that she and Holly could share a quiet moment watching the Christmas lights blink on and off in the darkness like so many tiny, colorful stars. The baby seemed delighted by the sight, and Jill had noticed that she fed better when she had something to concentrate on. Dustin hovering was not going to be good for Holly’s concentration and relaxation. Nor Jill’s.

Not to mention that she was extremely uncomfortable with what had happened this afternoon. Although Joey really couldn’t be blamed for his innocent suggestion, it had later made her tense to be around her crusty employer. The man was probably thinking she was hunting for another wedding ring to salvage her life with, while nothing could be further from the truth.

Unfortunately, Dustin seated himself in one of the chairs next to the table-top Christmas tree. “Jill,” he began.

She tightened her grip on the baby unconsciously, causing Holly to stop sucking and look up at her. Jill told herself to relax, but she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like what she was about to hear.

“I’ve been thinking that with your folks coming tomorrow, maybe you ought to have the evening off. You could go back with them and have some time to do whatever.”

“I don’t need any…why are you saying that?”

Dustin rubbed the back of his neck She could tell he was tired.

“It was only a suggestion. I just thought maybe you could use a personal day all to yourself, without all this…”

Jill’s hand suddenly felt trembly as she held the baby bottle. He was talking circles around it, but what Dustin was really thinking about was some space between them. It was painful for her to know he was embarrassed too.

“I need to work like anyone else does.”

Dustin watched Holly feeding for a second, then let his gaze travel up to Jill’s eyes again. She wished she didn’t feel so naked and exposed.

“Most people need a break sometimes, too.”

Jill didn’t reply so Dustin tried a new tack. “I know you said you’d try this job out for a week before you decided whether you’d stay on, but I’d like to know if you’ve made any plans along those lines since it’s nearly been that.”

She was silent, wondering why he was asking all these questions and how they related. He certainly seemed to be giving her situation a lot of thought. Did he not want her to stay now?

“I know your folks coming out here tomorrow will probably impact your decision. It was pretty clear to me that they’re concerned about you.”

“I make my own decisions,” Jill said tightly. “About whether I stay here or anything else. My parents have nothing to do with it, except that they were overjoyed to have an invitation out to meet your mother and see where I was going to be living.”

“Easy, easy,” Dustin said soothingly. “I wasn’t trying to imply that you needed their permission. I’m just trying to figure out what it will take to keep you happy here.”

“I think there’s a good possibility that I might stay on,” Jill said, unable to help the formality in her tone.

Dustin said nothing, his eyes hooded while he listened. Jill thought about their near-kiss and decided that perhaps the rancher needed some convincing that she wasn’t after his well-built body—or a promotion to Mrs. Jill Reed.

“The three-thousand-dollar bonus at the end of the year is important to me.” He blinked, so Jill hurried on. “I’m going to use the extra money to go to night school and finish my Master’s. I only lack a few credits, and hopefully by then I will have found another job in my profession.”

There. If the man had any doubts about what she was after, she should have relieved him quite efficiently.

Holly finished drinking, lying across Jill’s lap like a worn-out rag doll. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to carry Sleeping Beauty back to her basket. Unless you had something else you wanted to know?” she asked, not wanting to be rude, but not wanting to stay there with him any longer, either. In the peaceful beauty of the Christmas room, it was too easy to want to be comfortable with him.

But Dustin wasn’t really paying attention, it appeared. His gaze was focused on a place above her soft pink slippers and the hem of her pink-and-white-striped housecoat when she stood. Jill’s calves were bare, because her nightgown was knee-length, but there was nothing interesting about what was exposed.

Unless she hadn’t shaved her legs. Quickly, Jill counted back, realizing with a sigh of relief that she’d managed a quick swipe with a razor in the shower yesterday morning while Holly had snoozed.

“Good night,” she said, adjusting the baby on her shoulder.

“I’ll turn off the tree lights,” Dustin replied. He turned his head to gaze at the tree and Jill couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for him, all alone in the darkness. But it wasn’t her worry, and the twinkling lights might cheer him.

She’d turned to go upstairs when his voice stopped her.

“Should I burn that trouble-making piece of green?”

A small smile hovered at her lips. “Burning may be overkill. But I promise not to get caught under it again, if you promise, too.”

“It’s a deal.” Dustin pulled his gaze around to meet hers, making prickles shoot through her. “I don’t think I realized until that moment what a caution having a small, bright child around was.”

“Oh, Joey’s definitely a caution.” Jill chuckled. “For a minute, I thought you were going to follow his suggestion, just to be polite.”

Dustin’s eyes narrowed. “No. I wasn’t.”

Jill ignored the sudden emptiness in her heart.

What a mountain to make out of nothing. He’d never intended to kiss her at all. Why had she allowed herself to get so worked up about nothing?

Because suddenly you hoped he might kiss you, and that scared you to death.

But she wouldn’t have wanted Dustin to kiss her just to be polite, either. She would prefer that he want to kiss her.

Unfortunately, the fact was, she couldn’t risk caring deeply for another man. It would be so terribly stupid to allow herself to fall into an emotional trap when she hadn’t even gotten the deposits back on the church and wedding cakes let alone a firm grip on her heart.

Hadn’t she learned anything from her mistakes?

“Good night,” Jill whispered softly, turning away from Dustin’s watchful gaze. Baby Holly lay against her shoulder like a warm sack of flour, weighted with contentment and sweet dreams.

Jill walked up the stairs, wondering if she’d made the right decision to commit to a full year in the Reed household. There were a million reasons she might accidentally find herself caring for that strangely polite but distant rancher.

Politeness was very different from passion, as she remembered all too well.

Dustin watched the tree lights blink on and off. He thought about Jill’s smooth, bare skin exposed by her bathrobe and couldn’t help thinking about her slipping into bed wearing one layer less.

The woman thought he might have kissed her to be polite. Didn’t she know that polite kisses were reserved for aunts one hadn’t seen in ten years? Not for a perky, gorgeous lady who was living in his house, running through his thoughts until he prayed for sleep so his mind would rest. No, she’d saved herself that afternoon with her quick and competent retreat.

Smart, unattainable Jill. It would take a noose and a Clydesdale to drag him back under that mistletoe.

Besides, he knew it wouldn’t be fair to make her feel less secure in her position at the ranch by bringing something physical into their relationship. Dustin wanted Jill to view the Regret Ranch as her home for as long as she wanted to stay. Lord knows, he and his mother were benefiting far more from the arrangement than Jill was. He thought about her cleaning the walls with that oversized Q-tip and wondered if she was happy here. If she felt safe, from him especially.

From now on, he would do everything in his power to make certain she felt secure, up to and including keeping his lips off hers.

However, once she was over her wedding-bell blues, if the lady ever hinted that she might want a kiss from him, he damn sure was not going to worry about polite behavior before he hauled her into his arms.

Marsh left the restaurant thirty minutes after Dustin did with a feeling of misgiving growing in his heart. He had a disturbing notion that his friend was contemplating his housekeeper having more than cook and bed-maker capabilities. Jill was certainly attractive, and any man would look twice, but she just felt too good to be true to Marsh. Why did she have to appear at this time in Dustin’s life, when he was so vulnerable? The man was damn lonely and primed to make a mistake he might regret.

There was the big family supper tomorrow night. Marsh was attending, as he’d horned in on Reed family suppers many times before, anyway. It was easy being part of their family, when they had such big hearts and opened them to just about anybody. It wasn’t until Dustin and Nina had started having problems that Dustin had become a bit quieter, perhaps a little surly. Marsh had understood that dealing with Maxine butting into their lives and screwing Nina up with her complexities had really been a drain on the marriage. For all its fortress-like position up on that hill, they hadn’t been able to shut Maxine’s discontent out of their home, which had writhed around Dustin’s and Nina’s emotions like a demon.

Mama says you should buy me a better car. Mama says that if you really loved me, you’d spend more time at home with me. Mama wonders when we’re going to have another baby.

Oh, Marsh had ached watching that marriage disintegrate into Maxine’s bitter brew of unhappiness He would have done anything to keep Dustin from being tortured that way, like a man being pulled apart on the rack.

It had escalated into the fiery winds of an angry, disastrous argument, with Nina leaving one night to go home to Maxine. Dustin could not—would not—stop her from going to the mother who it was clear now she would never be able to leave behind.

Marsh had been called to the scene of the accident. Never in his life would he forget the anguish of finding his best friend’s wife trapped in the twisted car. He’d helped remove Nina’s body before Dustin arrived. It was the one small thing he could do, to make certain that Dustin didn’t witness the agony that Nina’s desperation had wrought on her.

Then he’d gently removed Joey from his car seat. The child had been eerily quiet as he sat watching the colored lights of the emergency vehicles. Maybe he’d done all the wailing he could do and was played out. Marsh had held the boy until Dustin arrived to find himself a widower, thrust awkwardly into a single-father life. For the last eleven months, the Reed family had struggled to recover from the tragedy, without any encouraging sign that the curtain was about to come down so a new act could start.

Now Jill had come into Dustin’s life, bringing spark and her saucy tongue and a new lifeblood pumping through a family that so needed a transfusion.

Unfortunately, Jill McCall had wounds of her own to recover from. How much of the Reed family misfortune was she willing to help see them through? Worse, what if Dustin
was
subconsciously falling for this woman—how hurt would he be if she exited in the middle of the act?

Marsh shook his head, worried that he saw flashing caution lights ahead in his friend’s future.