Never Let Me Go (7 page)

I stood up, fighting back tears.

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I was a mixed bundle of emotions, and I couldn’t figure out which was which without confusing myself.

I couldn’t be certain if I was nervous about going out with Hayden, or if I was scared to go out with him because of Brody. Was I happy that Colin was and Nickayla appeared to be supportive of me trying to move on, or was I sad that they weren’t trying to talk me out of it? Was I going out with Hayden because I felt like I
had
to, or was it because I actually
wanted
to?

Either way, the tears were springing free, whether I wanted them to or not. I trudged back up the stairs to finish my hair, hoping that my day would get better once Hayden came.

…

Colin was right. Hayden had picked me up and turned right past the beach and onto the pier. I had to admit that he was onto something, though. The pier in Big Springs was much bigger and better than the one in Harlow.

There was a festival of sorts going on. The center of the pier was donned with a stage, banners, and speakers. A group of people had just ascended the stage and they were proceeding to dance when we walked by. According to what Hayden had told me, they only had a festival like this in B.S. once every summer, and it lasted a week long.

He expertly weaved the two of us through the crowds and to a small diner that overlooked the beach called Van Leer’s. His hand never left the small of my back as he guided me through the double doors and waved to the people inside.

“HJ!” a girl around his age exclaimed, waving him toward the podium she was standing behind.

I looked up at him for clarification, and he simply led me forward. “Hey, Sum,” he said. “This is Michele. This is our first date.” He turned to face me. “This is my best friend, Summer.”

“Hi,” I said, shaking her hand. Summer was a small brunette with a pretty impressive rack, but her smile was miles wide. “It’s nice to meet you.”

She squealed as she grabbed two menus for us out of her apron. She grabbed Hayden by the elbow, practically skipping us toward the outdoor deck on the water.

“HJ, this is amazing! You haven’t been on a
first
date with a girl in years!” She pulled out a chair for me and grinned, handing me a menu. “Welcome to Van Leer’s, Michele. Order whatever you want, on the house—I
really
recommend the mozzarella sticks for an appetizer and the seven layer chocolate cake for dessert.” She clapped her hands quickly, a small giggle escaping her lips. “Oh em gee, HJ! Wait until I tell Livie!”

Hayden coughed uncomfortably, adjusting in his seat and looking down at his menu as though he’d never been there before, when clearly he had. His discomfort only made me wonder who Livie was. Was she another friend of theirs? Was she an ex-girlfriend of his? God, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know, honestly.

I tried to gauge his mood, which had so obviously been soured by the mention of this Livie person. “Please don’t tell Livie,” Hayden pleaded, his eyes wide. “She doesn’t need to know until the
second
date at least.”

I cocked my head at her inquisitively, unsure of how to respond. It was adorable that she called Hayden “HJ”, and that she’d picked up on the fact that he called our date our
first
date. It was sweet, too, how excited she was over the fact that Hayden was even
on
a date.

“Fine. But when the second date is set on the calendar, I want to be the first to know so I can call her,” Summer said before pulling out her order pad. “What can I get you to drink, Michele?”

I looked through the menu, running my finger over the
very
extensive drinks menu. There were smoothies, shakes, teas, lemonades, various fruit juices, and
then
the regular soft drinks. Jesus.

“I think I’ll have this strawberry sunrise lemonade?” I replied. “And I think I’ll take you up on that offer of cheese sticks, please.”

I met Hayden’s gaze, and he nodded approvingly. “I’ll have my usual—the mango iced tea. Michele and I can share the cheese sticks.”

Summer wrote our orders down, giving us a smile before she flounced off and away.

Hayden and I sat across from each other, our hands atop the table and nearly touching. I took his silence and the fact that he was still looking over the menu as an opportunity to admire his appearance again. He’d shown up in ragged dark wash jeans and a light grey v-neck t-shirt. His hair was parted on the left side, but it wasn’t slicked or gelled down. Instead, it was slightly disheveled, but in a way that was still put together.

His eyes roamed the menu with reckless abandon as he flipped the pages back and forth, and I noticed the quirky way his upper lip raised just a tad higher on the right side as he focused on something. His right hand rested on the table, his fingers drumming lightly on the tabletop and his posture was relaxed, as though he wasn’t half as nervous about this date as I was.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Hayden said, his lips lifting into a smile. “What’s up?”

I flushed, heat rising in my cheeks as I lowered my head. “I was just…admiring the view.” If we were
really
gonna do this, I might as well be honest, right? “This is a nice place, and your friend Summer; she reminds me of my little sister. She gets so excited so quickly.”

His shoulders shook as he chuckled, his eyes alight with happiness.

“Yeah, that’s Sum.” He set the menu aside and leaned forward. “We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten, and I promise, that was
calm
Summer. You don’t even want to see her when she gets together with my sister Livie—God, the two of them together are enough to give anyone a headache.”

Oh. So
that’s
who Livie was. She was his
sister
. All my earlier worrying had been for nothing.

“They sound like me and my best friend Nickayla when we really get going,” I muttered but loud enough for him to hear.

Hayden set his menu to the side, then looked up at me. “I know what I’m going to order already. How about you?”

I shook my head. I was going to take a leap, and see where exactly it took me.

I wasn’t the kind of person who was shy around guys, not by a long shot. I always said what I thought, whether it was right, or forward, or too fast. I was the kind of person who spoke first and thought about the consequences later. That was the part of me that I’d felt ashamed of when I was with Brody, but Hayden was my opportunity to start anew.

Here goes, Mich
, I thought. “Why don’t you order for me?”

He chuckled at that, cocking his eyebrow. God, he was so adorable when he did that. “Are you sure?” he asked. “How do you know I won’t order you something totally disgusting and manly?”

Oh, so he was going to play
that
game? Cool.

I
loved
games. “Well, if you
do
order me something disgusting and manly like lobster or liver or octopus, that’ll pretty much guarantee that this won’t be a
first
date anymore. It’ll be an
only
date.” I smirked, leaning back in my seat as I pushed my menu forward. “So try me, Mister.”

He chuckled, turning to the left and waving Summer over. She sauntered back to our table, order pad and pen in one hand, and a tray with our drinks on it in the other. She set our drinks down on the table, handing each of us a straw. Hayden’s eyes never left mine, even though his best friend was standing over us and waiting to take our orders.

“I’m gonna have my usual—the spaghetti burger—and Michele here is going to have the Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta. Go heavy on the parmesan cheese before you bring it over. Thanks.” Hayden took my hands from across the table, his amber eyes piercing through mine. “Tell me something serious. Let’s get this thing started.”

I grinned, not taking my eyes off of his. “What is this? Twenty-one questions?”

He nodded.

“Sure. I’ll ask a general question and both of us will answer, no-holds-barred. If either of us needs to skip, or if one of the questions only applies to one of us, it automatically becomes the other person’s turn to ask the questions. We’ll keep going until we hit twenty-one, or until one of us wants to stop,” he explained, squeezing my hand. “So…tell me something serious.”

I could do that. It seemed like a legitimately fun way to get to know him, and I liked that he wanted to start out on a serious note, because it could only go uphill from there.

I inhaled deeply, not sure if I wanted to answer with either of the two answers I’d come up with thus far. It was either talk about Brody, or talk about my dad. I wasn’t sure if either of those cans of worms were worth opening, especially on a first date.

I chose my dad.

“I’m raised by my sister,” I began, honestly. “My dad left when I was little, and then he got remarried and had more kids…I haven’t heard from him in over a year. I’d say I’m raised by a single mom, but my mom hasn’t really been a mom in years. Your turn.”

Hayden shifted again, but I couldn’t gauge if it was from discomfort like it was earlier. He leaned forward, then tossed his wallet on the table. “Open it.”

I glanced up at him, not quite sure whether he was serious or not. I opened the wallet, and was immediately greeted with the picture of a small girl with curly blonde hair, amber eyes, and long, black eyelashes. She smiled up at the camera, holding onto a large brown teddy bear.

“Wow,” I said. “This is seriously the most adorable little girl I’ve ever seen.”

Hayden grinned, holding his hand out. I placed the wallet in his open palm, and he stared at the little girl for a long time himself in humble silence. “I’m glad you think so,” he said. He was silent for a few moments, and then he cleared his throat. “She’s my daughter.”

Chapter Five

I was stunned into silence. I floundered for words for what felt like an eternity, but I couldn’t come up with anything even remotely smart to say. I was still flabbergasted, but not to the point that I was willing to walk out on the date or anything. I was just…surprised. Shockingly so, to be honest.

“Well, she’s beautiful, Hayden,” I finally said, a bit startled at the sound of my own voice. “What’s her name?”

He smiled, his eyes lighting up more than before, which, up until that moment, I hadn’t known was possibly. “Her name is Skylar and she’s three years old,” Hayden replied slowly. “So…something serious? My ex-wife and I had her right out of high school.”

Wow. I had to sit back in my seat, trying to process the information he’d given me, but I took his hand anyway. 1) He had a daughter, 2) he was married before, 3) h=he had an ex-wife. To say that I was surprised was the understatement of the century.

“Wow,” I said slowly. “So Skylar is with your ex-wife right now? How often do you see her?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I actually have full custody of Sky. She’s with her mother for the weekend.” I must have raised my eyebrows or something, because he held his hand up and shook his head again. “It’s a long story, and it’s one that I hope to tell you sometime.”

I nodded in understanding.

It wasn’t lost on me that his entire demeanor had changed when he told me about his daughter. He seemed…lighter and happier somehow, and the way that he cut the conversation about her short kind of told me that if he started talking about Skylar in detail, he’d never stop.

“Hayden?” I asked.

He looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine. He looked…afraid, actually, like he was wondering if I was going to get up and leave or something. He must have had bad experiences with girls accepting the fact that he and his daughter came as a package deal.

“Yeah?” he replied, his voice wary.

“Thank you for telling me about her right now,” I said softly. “I’m the kind of person who likes to know what I’m getting into
before
I get into it, so I have the chance to weigh my options. It helps me decide whether I want to stick with something or not.”

His posture stiffened, and he withdrew his hand from mine. “Is this the part where you tell me that I’m hot but you don’t want to see a guy with a kid?”

Oh, God. My heart almost broke all over again hearing those words escape his mouth.

“First of all, Mr. Full of Himself, I don’t even think you’re hot,” I teased, although my subconscious was singing,
liar, liar, pants on fire!
“But no…this is the part where I tell you that I can’t wait to hear more about Skylar the next time we see each other, because I’ve got the feeling that most of what I want to learn about
you
is wrapped up in
her
.”

Hayden visibly relaxed, the light in his eyes returning. He took a sip of his drink, and as he did so, Summer returned with our mozzarella sticks. He nodded a thank you to her, picking up a cheese stick and taking a bite. “You’re right. She’s the center of my universe,” he said after he’d chewed and swallowed his bite, speaking of his daughter with a reverence that I could only hope my father spoke of me with. “You ready for the next question?”