Never Have an Outlaw's Baby: Deadly Pistols MC Romance (Outlaw Love) (5 page)

Her face went dark. “She passed away about six months ago, about the time Uncle Robby decided to call it quits with the bar. Screwed up colon. She hid how bad it was from me up until the last year, when she went into hospice.”

I preempted that teary look on her face, pulling her into my arms. Grabbing her chin, I twisted Summer's face to look at me, taking in every little feature here in the moonlight.

Fuck me, the girl was beautiful. No, not just a girl anymore – a woman.

One who'd taken a couple real punches from life. Something about that sadistic hurt caused me to love how she looked even more.

“Babe, there was nothing you could've done. Don't you dare beat yourself up.” She nodded, slowly opening her eyes to meet my gaze, sucking gently on her bottom lip.

“I know. I don't blame anybody. I just wish things were different, Joker. I wish she didn't have to die so young, or at least that she didn't go down fighting it so hard for so many years.” No hiding the stinging wet gleam in her big green eyes now. “It isn't fair. Just like the bar closing down, right before I was about to take it over.”

She let out a heavy sigh. I held her face, tightening my grip, watching the dew forming on her eyelashes.

“Life ain't fair, Summertime. Nothing else to it. You don't get shit unless you reach up, grab it by the fuckin' nuts, and yank it
hard.
”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” she snapped. “Not what I needed right now – especially when some things can never be yours, no matter how hard you push.”

“Whatever. Just wanted to give it to you straight before I lay down exactly what you need, woman.” My hand grazed her cheek again, brushing back a stray lock of hair. Remembered it wasn't no different than the one I'd tucked behind her ear years ago.

We were strangers. This shit shouldn't feel so familiar, but hell, it did.

Her eyes softened. I stared into them, fighting the wild instinct to take her in the next five seconds.

I'd wanted to kiss her before. It overpowered me now, and I wondered how many more seconds I'd need before I crushed my mouth on hers, reigniting the explosion we'd had that night when she was too young, and I was too stupid to come back sooner.

“Everything keeps changing, Jackson.” I gave her a sharp look when she used my real name. Her hands moved across my chest, soothing the frustration. “You're Joker now, I know. You have been for years. But I remember back before you weren't, when it was just you and Freddy, two young guys kicking ass around town.”

I let myself smile. “Yeah, babe. I remember those times, too. Funny how fuckin' far away it all seems.”

She didn't have a clue. Hell, I barely understood it myself.

I'd killed for the club since I'd put on my prospect patch years ago. I'd hauled drugs for Early a couple times, Dust's old man, and now we were trying to get gun deals with the mob. Fucked an endless train of bitches I couldn't remember to save my life.

I'd done some good, too. I'd stood up for my brothers. I'd lived free, and helped everybody else with these colors do it too.

Whether it was those nights when Skin started talking about his old man with tears in his eyes, or keeping Sixty off his bike when he'd gotten his second fuckin' DUI, I'd been there. I'd bumped beers with Piece a couple hundred times, cheering the club's small victories, and stood in a straight line when Dust became the new Prez, burying his father.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to fuckin' Dust.

The world kept turning with its blood and fire, its fuckin' and killing. Lived my life in the thick of it, taking one road at a time, and a dozen women a month.

Tonight, I just wanted one thrashing around on my cock, giving me her body like I was the last man she'd ever fuck.

“How many boyfriends you had?” I growled, narrowing my eyes.

There went those fires on her cheeks again. Pure crimson.

Her eyes looked around nervously and she licked her sweet lips. “Joker, come on. You can't just ask a girl that, especially when you haven't seen her for years.”

“Bullshit. Treat it like that ride home was only yesterday, 'cause that's the way it feels.”

“Whatever. Not a whole lot, Mister Nosey. There's been too many other things in my life to worry about besides chasing boys.”

No way. No goddamned fuckin' way.

She was talking like she hadn't been kissed since that night, much less fucked.

She couldn't be a virgin. She couldn't...or else my dick was gonna blow in my pants like a fuckin' kid.

I'd pulled myself off too many times, thinking about taking that cherry. If I had a chance to do it, to do her for the first time, tonight...

Fuck my promises. Fuck that shit about me being too bad for her, giving her a chance with the men she deserved.

She needed to be fucked good and proper. And nobody could put it to her like me.

No more bullshit.
None.

My hand roamed up her back, fisted her long dark hair, and pulled 'til I heard her suck in a sharp breath.

“Admit it, Summertime. Whatever else has happened, the good and the bad, you missed me.”

“Maybe a little,” she said shyly. “But you turned me loose. You wanted me to stay away. So, I did.”

“Yeah, we did. That was a big, fat, fucked up mistake.” I stared at her, and she blinked, shocked beyond words at what I'd just said.

Hell, maybe I was shocked, too. Whatever, this wasn't the time for any regrets.

“Something else you missed, too,” I growled. “Same thing I've been missing, if you wanna know the bitter truth. Something we never got a chance to taste in full.”

“Yeah?”

Yeah.
I jerked her face into mine without a second thought.

Our lips collided like thunderheads coming together.

Lightning in my mouth. Steam in my blood. Molten steel just twisting and turning through every channel in my body, churning fire in my balls.

I'd be in her soon, laying a claim I should've put down three goddamned years ago. Fuck, she tasted sweet. Couldn't stop for anything now. Wouldn't fuckin' stop.

Her little tongue melted against mine, and I took it. Could've twirled that succulent flesh around in mine damned near forever.

Only, this time, forever was about ten more seconds before I started tearing her clothes off and taking what was mine underneath the moon and the stars.

The countdown started the second our lips locked.

Five. Four.

Three. Two.

A
s soon as
the bastard kissed me, the last three years were gone.

Obliterated in his magnificent lips, his tongue, his power, his passion. The energy he'd only given me a teasing taste of on a summer night so long ago returned.

Except this was more than a tease. This kiss said he wasn't letting up, wouldn't turn me away for stupid reasons like innocence anymore.

Not this time. His kiss was too serious, too hot, too hellbent on mastering mine.

If I let him take what he wanted, there wouldn't be any going back.
Oh, God.

“Damn it, Joker!” I whispered, jerking my face away. “I can't...I can't do this.”

“Babe?”

Before he could grab me, I was up, climbing over the hill as fast as I could go. I didn't care how serious his kiss seemed, or how good it tasted.

I couldn't let him do this to me again. Not after all the heartache and disappointment.

This kiss could work wonders, like a spell that could charm me, make me believe he'd changed. But it couldn't make me stupid, reckless, ready to be destroyed by him a second time.

“Fuck, Summer, come back!” he yelled after me, plodding down the hill.

After all the things going upside down in my life, I hadn't changed enough.

I'd stepped up and taken more responsibility, sure.

Mama, Uncle Robby's bar, and the family house were all history soon. My meager wage couldn't begin to pay the bills that would've let me hang onto the place – not with her collectors hounding me for every last penny.

I had a head start on Joker, and he couldn't move as fast with his bigger body, taking the steep hill in slower strides. I used my advantage to put more distance between us, heading for the broken down storage shed I saw in the distance.

For the first time since we'd gotten here, I wished for fewer stars. The ones hanging overhead showed too much, made it all too easy for him to trail me like a wolf, across the curvy countryside and the winding fields.

My legs gave out just before the shed. Rather, something on the ground caught me, spun me around, and slammed me down so hard every bone in my body shook.

The pain ripping up my ankle didn't hit my brain until a second later. Wincing, I grabbed the muscle, right about the time he ripped me up in his arms, pulling me close.

“Put me down already – it hurts!” I whined, flailing against him.

“Bullshit, babe. You're gonna settle the hell down and tell me why the fuck you just took off screaming.”

I stopped fighting him. There was no use hiding the hurt anymore.

He'd already seen how easy it was to get close to me. He had to know about the fantasies I'd nursed for three years, the memories I'd held onto from that lonely night when he'd brought me home from one tragedy, only to get my hopes up before he brought disaster down again.

“I told you! I can't do this again. I can't have you come in like a tornado for just one night and leave me hanging. Too many things have gone wrong. I've lived too many nightmares, Joker.”

My body went limp. I bit my lip, fighting the pain spiking through my ankle.

Damn him, he tightened his hold, wordlessly wrapped me up in his biker embrace. My chest rattled as I tried to breathe, inhaling his scent for the first time in three years, that strong, heavenly smell of raw masculinity I thought I'd lost forever.

“I ain't a toy,” I snarled in his ear, when he rested my chin on his shoulder. “It's not fair, treating me like one, coming back in my pants without a hello – and no, don't you dare give me another lecture about life. I'm telling you, I need something
nice
to happen for once. Not another train wreck.”

“Quiet, babe. Quit moving. Only time I wanna see your lips moving is when they're on mine.” He pushed my cheek into his, making me feel the sandy stubble there. “Didn't realize I did so much damage last time we hung out. I left for your own good, just like I told you that night. You were too young. Too fuckin' pure for me, Summertime. Too damned innocent.”

That word!
Anger flashed through me, and I shook, trying to pull myself away while he continued to talk to me like a kid.

“I don't do girlfriends and I don't fall in love. I still don't.” His voice softened. “I
fuck,
baby girl, and if you want something to happen, that's gotta be the end of it. You oughta ask for more, but your body's telling me something different. Only thing worse than getting fucked is not getting fucked at all. I can give you that, Summertime.”

He was giving me an ultimatum. A wicked, ridiculous one – but at least it was honest.

Could a man be a complete bastard and still talk like he cared?

“I haven't ever been with a man,” I said, slowly pulling away from him. This time, he let me.

His handsome face lit up like I'd just offered him three wishes. “You're an asshole, but I like you, Jackson. You scare me because I can't stay away. I'm sorry I freaked out.”

No, really,
I thought. He didn't deserve an apology. But I didn't deserve to lie to myself any longer, living on nothing except fantasies and fears.

Choosing my next words very carefully, I looked at him softly, and let honesty roll.

“Whatever else this is...maybe I do want you tonight. Just to get it over with. Get rid of this stupid crush, and get on with my life.”

“We can make it happen, babe. Make all your dreams come true tonight, and so much more.” He smiled, stepping toward me, running his big, powerful hands up my shoulders again. His fingers curled up my neck, cupped my chin, and held me. “You're too damned beautiful to waste another night a virgin, Summertime. You give that pussy up, I'll make it purr. I'll make you scream. I'll make you come on my cock so fuckin' hard you see more stars up there than dim lit sky. You'll forget all about the shit that's eating at you, and you'll walk away a woman, no worse for wear.”

Why I believed him, who the hell knows. I let him kiss me, softer and slower than before, and soon he led me outside into the night.

By the next kiss, I surrendered. How could I do anything else with my heart smashed up in a thousand pieces and the immaculate night sky glowing above?

Any woman would do the same. Anybody young, who hadn't had a good thing happen since that night he took me out three long years ago, and buried my woes in his lips.

“Baby, baby, fuck. I'm gonna make you feel so good. Better than any man ever will,” he growled, taking his hungry lips off mine just long enough to gaze into my eyes.

His were so dark. So hungry. So wild.

“Big promises,” I said, moistening my lips with my tongue. “Why don't you shut up and show me?”

I offered him what I'd wanted to give up for three damned years.

His hand pushed against my back, bringing me home. Our lips connected, hotter than before, melting what little resistance I had left.

He could pretend to kiss me like a lover, a man who cared, the other piece of me I'd been missing for so fucking long.

Well, so could I.

I'd give him the hot, wild time he wanted tonight, before he left me behind for a second time. He'd love my body like he wanted more. I'd fool myself into thinking he did, knowing this might be the last time I'd have something I truly wanted, or at least an illusion so real I could hold it.

My lips moved against his, opening for his tongue.

Faster, harder, sweeter. His kisses came in waves, all consuming and all conquering.

Joker's hand swept up my thigh, rounded its way to my butt. He cupped one side of my ass and squeezed, feeding the wet craving between my thighs.

Whatever else he'd do to me tonight, he'd worship my body the way it deserved. I'd give myself to a man who knew exactly what he was doing, who'd probably done it a thousand times to a thousand different women.

That thought made me hate him. But as twisted as it was, I wanted him even more just then.

“You fuckin' been lying to me, or what? I have to know,” he snarled, suddenly pulling his lips off mine. “You kiss so damned hot it's hard to believe you ain't never been fucked before, beautiful.”

I blinked in surprise, noticing how badly I was panting in his arms. His fingers clenched my leg so hard I thought it would bruise, and I shuddered.

Lying? No, hell no. I shook my head.

“I like you, idiot. Enough to tell the truth,” I said, staring into his eyes, fire roaring through every part of me. “I want you.
Badly.
Joker, dammit, no more games. I've been waiting for this for three long years. Haven't had time for anybody else. I've been waiting for you to come to your senses. Waiting for you to come back and take what's been yours since that night when we kissed, when I was just a high school kid...”

If he walked away now...
holy shit
. My hands crawled up his back, stopping along his shoulders, where I grabbed him and dug my nails in.

I wouldn't let him leave. We'd gone too far to give this up a second time.

He moved like a panther. Snarling, ripping at my clothes, jerking me onto his lap.

“Three goddamned fuckin' wasted years,” he rumbled, sliding my jeans down around my ankles, then reaching for my panties. In one furious push, they were down my legs, leaving nothing between my wetness and his hand. “Been waiting for this a long ass time, little Summer. I've been jerking off thinking about you, and thinking about you again when I'm balls deep in those sluts who can't even hold a fuckin' candle to what you've got...fuck me alive! You've got it all.”

His breath became a harsh whisper. Shoving my skirt up, his face stopped near one knee, and slowly began kissing up it.

I didn't know whether to love him or hate him just then. Thinking about the glorious bastard moving between my legs with other girls made me see red. But he'd said it was
me
on his mind, the whole damned time, and he'd said it with such a storm in his voice I knew it was true.

My fight died the second he sucked at my inner thigh.

His hands moved above his head, aggressively plumping my breast through my shirt. The other grazed my pussy several times, sliding through the sopping wet center, brushing my clit for a split second every time.

Joker's stubble needled my skin like nails. Everything collided here.

The good and the bad. The rational and the senseless. All my better instincts, wiped out in one flash by his heat, his kiss, his promises in every deeply sexual movement.

No, make that
flashes,
plural.

I saw lightning when his mouth moved up again. He growled, stopping with his lips next to my core, pouring molten breath all over it in the worst tease I'd ever had.

My fingernails fought, scratching through his leather and his t-shirt. Slowly opening, my eyes went down, and caught the raging desire in his bright hazel eyes.

“Lay the fuck back, woman,” he growled, reaching for my thighs with both hands, pulling them apart. “I ain't saying another word 'til your hot little cunt's blown itself up on my face several times. There's no going back once you feel this tongue. I ain't going back – I'm swallowing every drop. I
own
you tonight. This night and maybe every last fuckin' night you've got here on Earth...”

Shit, shit.
He made me believe.

My heart banged in my chest. Almost caused me to pass out when he finally made good on what he promised.

His lips moved, planting one more kiss on my right thigh, moving to the center. Then his tongue was in me, sliding through my folds – so much more direct than it had been before.

My legs began shaking, and never stopped as his rough licks quickened. His tongue lashed me there again and again, going a little deeper every time.

“Damn!” I sputtered, already seeing the stars in the sky multiply. Except the new ones were hot red, just like the hellfire I imagined pumping in my blood.

Joker's elbows pinned my thighs. His hands moved to my center, pulling me open, all the better for those licks to land deeper, deeper, so fucking deep my insides clenched like a vise before the hot release hit me.

I screamed into the night when I came.

His lips wrapped around me and his tongue found my clit. All about a split second before I started coming my brains out, bucking and riding his face, wondering how the hell he could keep going with me thrashing underneath him.

Oh, but this man was strong. A beast wrapped in his tattoos, his leather, his cocky attitude that turned panties into ashes.

Mine were just a distant memory as I gave it up to his mouth. He licked, sucked, and pulled at my clit with his tongue, holding it between his teeth, holding down my center with nothing more than his rough, gorgeous face.

Was he seriously growling the whole way through it, making me feel his feral energy echoing in my body? Yes, God yes, he was.

I came even harder. I'd never expected my first time to be with someone who was more animal than man, wilder than the fierce country wind beginning to kick up around us.

The tall grasses on the hillside blew, tickling my face. One more sensation I couldn't handle with the dynamite going off inside me.

I never realized how numb my fingers were until he finally eased off. He lifted himself off me, slowly devouring me with his eyes, giving me
the look.
That one made me believe his utter crap about how he owned me tonight.

Made me believe that maybe,
maybe,
he wouldn't walk away when this was all through. But I knew better.

It started to get the best of me before he pushed his lips on mine, still slick with my juices.

He kissed me, pulling me onto his lap, his hands roaming my body again. This time, they were more deliberate, dragging away the rest of my clothes one piece at a time. He undid my blouse, kiss by kiss, growling when it fell off my shoulders.

My bra popped like nothing underneath his fingers. Free breasts felt his fingers for the first time, and he stopped to suck one nipple, lightly rolling it against his tongue, teasing me.

“Please!” I whimpered, scratching at his neck.

No more. I couldn't take this, the anticipation, the piecemeal way he played my body like a damned fiddle.