Never Have an Outlaw's Baby: Deadly Pistols MC Romance (Outlaw Love) (16 page)

It shouldn't bother me so damned much. Today, my son was happy and safe. He'd made a new friend to play with, judging by the way the big gray dog wagged his tail.

So, why did I feel so lonely? Abandoned?

Why did I want to punch myself in the face every time I let my eyes wander to Joker at breakfast, still admiring his rock hard body. The fact that he could be so gentle, so patient with Alex only made it harder to stop.

I hugged Alex tighter, my embrace apologizing for how we'd never have a happy family. It was an illusion. I wouldn't keep him from Joker anymore, but after all of this was over, I definitely wouldn't be crawling back.

I'd let him protect us. I'd let him catch up with his son.

I swore I'd stand my ground. And if he ever tried to pull me into bed or put me on my knees again, I'd slap the absolute shit out of him.

S
oon as I
stepped into the meeting room for church, the air was heavy as shit. I wasn't the only one dragging myself in all pissed.

Firefly sat next to Skin, Crawl, Sixty, and the rest of the boys, looking like a human hand grenade. He looked up when he saw me. I jerked outta my seat, plopping down before I pulled out my switchblade and shot him a look.

“What the fuck's eating you?” I extended my blade, ready to stab that shit through my fingers, and add a few more scratches to the beat up table with the Pistols logo painted in the middle.

“He's fuckin' my sis again,” Firefly growled, slamming his fist down. “Come on, Veep. Don't start that shit. We're all on edge today.”

“Easy, brother,” Skin said, grabbing one of his shoulders and giving him a shake. “Already told you – Hannah's a grown woman. You can't do shit about who she drags into bed. Meg, she's dealing with the same thing all the time, watching her girls at the Heel bum around with all kinds of fuckin' scum.”

“It ain't the fuckin' same, and you know it! Hannah's too fuckin' good for any man with the patch. She's a businesswoman, for Christ's sake. The kind who deals with a fuck of a lot more than some shit strip club here in town. Prez is fucking her like another whore to kick to the curb, if he isn't slipping his dick in her, trying to get her money. Greedy fuckin' sonofabitch.”

Skin's face tensed, anger flashing in his eyes. “I'm gonna pretend you didn't just call my old lady a fuckin' idiot, brother. Say it again, and my fists are going in your guts.”

Shit, this was bad. I looked up, my eyes quickly scanning the rest of the boys. Crawl sipped water from a canteen, or maybe something stronger, pushing his dark hair back, trying to pretend the shitshow a couple guys over wasn't happening. Sixty took a long drag on his cig, his goatee twitching, smart enough for once not to make any damned jokes.

Lion, Tin, and the three new prospects we'd invited to the table sat at the end, nervously whispering to themselves, too new to lay down the law.

Who the fuck could blame them? It was Firefly's job as Enforcer to break up fights between the brothers, but since he was in the middle of one, now that shit was up to me.

I slammed my blade into the wood so hard the whole table shook, and left it there. Good enough to throw all their eyes on me.

“Brother – brothers! – lay the fuck off Prez and each other. Your shit's all just personal, Firefly. You wanna hash it out with Dust in his office or some shit, whatever. You keep bad mouthing him here, in front of the whole club, we've got a fuckin' problem. One we don't need when we're supposed to be here today, talking about the op, for fuck's sake. Put a goddamned lid on it – all of you!”

I ripped my knife out of the table and pointed at everybody there, one by one. Last tick of my hand stopped on Firefly, who fuckin' seethed, his blue eyes rippling like raging oceans.

Pissed as they were, everybody was also shocked. I never got this goddamned heated. Ever since Piece died, my rage came cold, went into my knife, and didn't come out 'til there was blood all over it.

I didn't go off like this. I didn't scream.

Except, now I fucking did. My blade's knife scorched my hand, and it was shaking. Shaking like a fuckin' leaf.

“Veep,” Skin started, licking his lips. “What's going on, brother?”

“Yeah, bro,” Sixty said, blowing a string of smoke. “Ain't just Firefly and Skinny boy ripping into each other's shit today. Never seen you like this.”

Fuck.
I sat there, paralyzed, knowing there was no way I could open up about Summer and the kid.

I'd decided this morning it was strictly business. I'd tell the brothers everything I knew, but I'd treat it like one more piece of business, no different than our latest hit, or the weapons we were hauling on the next run.

Getting emotional about this goddamned shit in front of the club wasn't a choice. No fuckin' way.

I was about five seconds from feeding them a load about a bad hangover when Prez saved me. The door flew open, and he entered. Dust nodded to us, kicking it shut behind him with his boot.

All the anger in the room seemed to go to him as he sat down, giving me a quick look. “We've got a lotta shit to run through today, so we're coming to order now,” he said, picking up his gavel and swinging it down hard on wood.

“First order, I've finally talked some sense into that crazy old motherfucker out west. Blackjack and the Grizzlies are giving us some guns and some guys to kick the door down.”

Every man in the room collectively sucked in a breath. Crawl cocked his head, cleared his throat, more calm than anybody after the shit that just went down.

“That's good news, isn't it? More than we've been hoping for all these fucking months. But what the hell do they want in return?”

“Thirty big in mercenary fees, plus fifty percent once we've got a solid route through Georgia. They'll be sharing that shit with the Devils, too, whenever their guys head into Dixie. So, really, we're getting our asses a solid deal with both clubs, as much as they want to claw outta us.” Dust reached for his pipe, tucked fresh tobacco into it, and gave it a light. “Obviously, we'll have ourselves a vote real soon. I'm telling you, boys, this is the shit we've been waiting for. Percentages can change over time. We need their firepower to kick the fuckin' door down, and once we're in, we're home.”

“Count me an 'aye,' right now, Prez,” I said, holding my knife.

“Yeah, yeah, I can tell you're happy. You ain't doing that bullshit with your blade going in the wood.” Prez grinned, looking me up and down with his cold gray eyes. No, they were surprisingly warm today, like he'd just gotten a gold medal around his neck for fuckin' the choicest pussy ten states over.

Shit, for all I knew, he had.

Hannah didn't appeal to me – never wanted a damned thing to do with rich bitches – but he'd taken enough of a shine to her body to fuck her more than once.

Firefly glared, the shit between the Prez and his sis weighing on his mind. Dust turned to him just then, ignoring his snake eyes, taking a long pull on his pipe.

“Firely, how soon can we be ready?” Prez growled, stopping just short of rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Blackjack said he can get some men out here by next week. They'll be ready as soon as they're in, itching for action after the cartel wars ended out west. I want everything square in five days. Earlier, if we can swing it.”

“Five days,” he repeated, staring at the Prez like a spider he wanted to stomp. “Doesn't leave much time to train any of the brothers on the heavier shit. We've been getting more of it in and our range ain't great for this stuff.”

“Fuck the big guns,” Dust growled. “We'll have manpower on our side. The Grizzlies are bringing a few of their newer toys, too. It'll balance out.”

“Before we do this, there's something else,” I said, sitting up in my chair. “That girl, Summer, who some of you boys saw the other day. She's got news on the Deads...”

I went through all the facts then. Told them about how they'd trashed Seddon, how Hatch wanted to use her as a mole to pry shit outta the club through me. I told them about my kid last, how I was sure he was mine, and I'd do everything I could to make up for lost time, keeping them both safe.

She'd come clean to me.

So had I, and none of this shit bothered me.

Yeah. Yeah, fucking right.

“Jesus Christ, bro. I mean, fuck, everybody knew you had secrets, but...shit.” Sixty grinned, chomping on his smoke. “We've got your back. You and your new family.”

His last words didn't do much to settle me down. I waited for more shit, pivoting my switchblade in my hands, feeling the sharp reflection of the sunlight coming through the old blinds peeling off it. Straight into my eyes.

“Goddamn. I'd hoped to get the fuckin' jump on those bastards,” Dust said, twisting his pipe thoughtfully between his fingers. “Looks like they're gearing up to do it first. They can smell us fuckin' coming.”

“Better not be a damned rat,” Firefly growled, his rage shifting to something else.

My guts sank. Fuck, it didn't seem likely, but we'd only brought on the three new prospects last week, men who'd been there as hangarounds for months.

“Nah,” Dust said, dismissing it with a wave of the hand. “Hatch is a brutal, sick motherfucker. He ain't stupid. He knows we're getting stronger, pulling in legit money from the strip clubs and the chop shops, buying more guns. Fucker's probably been busy moving in on the Torches' old territory for months, and he's gotta know we wiped 'em out. Nobody else would've planted Deadhands' cuts in the wreckage for the cops after we torched that place.”

No, nobody else would've been so stupid and ballsy. That idea had been mine, just a couple months ago, when we saved Firefly's old lady down in Atlanta, and finished off our friends-turned-enemies. The Torches MC was dead, and we'd framed the Deads for doing it.

Too fuckin' bad the bastards hadn't taken much heat.

“Motherfuckers must be handing out bribes left and right,” Skin said, like he'd read my mind. “Fuckin' FBI should've given them something to shit bricks over for months. They're not doing that.”

“More reason to hit them hard, soon as we gas up our bikes and get our new troops,” I said, thumbing the edge of my knife.

“Joker's right. The roadblocks we tried to put up while we got our shit together just went down. They're coming, unless we knock them on their asses first. No more fuckin' around, boys. This is all out war.”

Dust looked at me when he said it, as if he finally understood me. This wasn't just about avenging Piece anymore.

This was about saving myself from losing my last shred of sanity.

Nobody was coming for Summer. They damned sure weren't coming for Alex. I wouldn't let any of the sick, evil poison from the club's fights savage my family.

Maybe I hadn't figured out what the fuck family even meant. Right now, it didn't matter, I'd have all the time in the world as long as I decapitated the bastards who'd picked at Taylor blood like vultures.

“We can't be fuckin' fools about it, Veep. It's gonna take planning. Maybe seven or eight days instead of six. Give me the time I need to do the job right,” Firefly said, still giving Prez the stink eye.

“Orders are orders,” Dust said coldly. “I've given you a time line. You make it happen, Firefly.”

The big Enforcer clenched his jaw, his biceps bulging as he pushed his fists together. My eyes bounced over every brother, waiting for the whole fuckin' room to go up like a rocket factory on fire.

“Listen, you've all got the big picture. We'll iron out the details later. It's time to vote.” Dust brought the gavel down, moving this shit along. He looked at me first.

“Aye,” I said slowly.

Aye
for Summer, for Alex, for my own future, however rough or fucked up the going got. Yes to death, to avenging Freddy and Grandpa, to burying the past once and for all so I could focus on the family I hadn't known I had 'til yesterday.

Prez moved down the line. Everybody voted, except for the three prospects who hadn't earned those rights yet. We'd all be checking up on them later, making absolutely sure they weren't putting a fuckin' dagger in our backs, feeding intel to the Deads.

“Unanimous.” Dust's gavel came down harder, and he blew a long chain of smoke through his lips. “Unless anybody else has anything, we're done here.”

He waited a minute. The gavel slapped the wood one more time, freeing brothers to get up, mill around, and go for their coffee. More than a couple guys would be taking something stronger in their black brew after this.

“Veep, hold up,” Dust said calmly, grabbing the back of my chair.

I waited 'til all the boys cleared out, Firefly going last, eyeballing both of us like a wolf waiting for its chance to strike. Well, fuck him, too.

“What's eating his ass?” Dust growled, soon as he was outta the room.

“You and his sis,” I said. “That fuckin' drama ain't my business. I've got plenty to worry about, so you'd better hash it out with Firefly privately. We gotta have every man behind our backs.”

“Yeah, I figured. I'm more worried about you.”

My eyebrows went up. “Don't bother. You think I can't handle this fuckin' girl and my own son?”

“I think you will, long as you keep a lid on your shit and make it home alive, after we're done with these devils in Georgia. You've swept through enough blood to know how it always goes down. One mistake,” he growled. “That's all it takes to put a bullet in a brother's brain, or get a blade in his spine, putting him off of anything except sucking shit through straws 'til he's gone. You can't let this shit get to you 'til the job's done.”

“You're bullshitting me, Prez,” I said, standing up, my blade in my hand.

“No,” he said quietly. “I ain't. You're the one standing there with that nervous fuckin' tick in your trigger finger.”

I looked down in horror. My knife was trembling again, incrementally, like something crawled up my wrist and gave me the shakes.

“Fuck!” It clattered to the floor, and I crouched down and picked it up, tucking it back into my belt.

“Yeah, boy. That's you coming back, after losing Piece put you in a fuckin' coma all these years.” Dust blew out the last embers in his pipe, before stuffing it into his pocket. “Whatever you're going through, it ain't gonna be easy. But I need you to listen, and listen fuckin' good – the club comes first. Your little family's already a part of it, whether you claim this chick or not. If you think you're less than a hundred percent before we're supposed to ride south, come to me, Joker. We'll fix it together like brothers do.”

“I'm solid, Prez. Same as always before a battle.”

Goddamn, why did I deny it? Why'd I fuckin' lie? I didn't even believe it myself, soon as the words were outta my mouth.

“Fuck you, don't lie to me.” He stood up, stepped forward, and slammed both his thick, calloused hands on my shoulders. Those crazy eyes in his head had seen plenty of shit, just like mine, and they always read every brothers' minds, including mine.

Didn't have a prayer of hiding shit. “Let go, Prez. I'm done lying.”