Nevada Heat (12 page)

For a brief moment, when her shirt lay open and her breasts were bared to him, Jesse stepped back to look at her. His index finger moved delicately over her nudity and he felt himself swell with need. He'd never known such an overpowering, desire before. And it was more than just wanting to lie with her. He wanted to bring her pleasure. He wanted to hear her cry out his name. He wanted to watch her face when the small explosions of delight shot through her.

And Jesse knew that all of these things were going to be denied him. He didn't have the right even to wish for them.

He reached out and cupped her breasts with his hands, kneading them gently with his fingers. He turned his gaze to her face and was undone. Her turquoise eyes, soft with passion, smiled at him. Her lips, parted and eager, waited for him. She lifted her arms to hold him and he stepped into the circle of them, burying his face against her neck.

Her bare breasts pressed against his chest and Jesse tightened his hold on her, reveling in the feel of her body next to his own. His lips moved to her throat, placing small damp kisses on her heated flesh. Miranda's hands moved over his back, pressing him to her, holding him, comforting him.

"Miranda… I…"

"Hush, Jesse,” she whispered, her hands moving slowly over the muscled expanse of his back. 'It’s all right."

"No." He pulled away slightly so that he could see her face, but kept his arms around her. "No, it ain't all right at all" One hand moved up, stroked her jawline, and slid down her throat to her chest. Then he carefully and gently tugged the edges of her shirt together. Jesse pulled a deep, shuddering breath into his body and prayed for strength. He tried to avoid looking at her eyes. The passion there had been replaced with questions. Questions he didn't know if he could answer.

He cast a quick look at the still-quiet street, then took a couple of steps away from her. "You'd best, uh… you know."

He heard her move but kept his back to her. "Miranda," Jesse whispered finally. “I shouldn'ta done that I'm sorry."

“It, uh…" She stepped up beside him. “It was just as much my fault, I'm afraid.”

"Nah."

"Yes, it was." Miranda moved to stand in front of him and looked him square in the eye. “I knew, I think, what would happen when I told you to prove that there was nothing between us."

His brow wrinkled and he raised his gaze to a point over her head.

“I suppose I… wanted this to happen."

She sounded as confused as he felt. Jesse felt a sudden urge to hop on the nearest horse and get the hell out of town. None of this should have happened. None of it.

"And now that it has," she continued, "maybe you'll admit that we do have something to talk about."

He snorted. "Talk? Jesus! I'm scared to death to get too close to ya!" His whole body was on fire. He'd never felt anything close to this before. And she wanted to talk?

"Well, then," Miranda said with a forced smile, "we'll just have to keep a safe distance between us."

“And what do you reckon that is?" His lips curled. "About ten miles?"

“Hmmm.”

"Yeah." He groaned and shifted uncomfortably.

“But, Jesse," she said hurriedly, "don't you see? We have to get this settled between us. Or neither one of us will have any peace this winter."

“Thunderation.” He shook his head and slumped back against the stable wall. “I don't know if I can take this all winter long, M'randa."

She moved up to the rough planed wall and leaned against it herself. Keeping a foot of space between them. "Yes, it will be difficult."

"Difficult?" He laughed and groaned, dropping his head back with a thud against the building. "Lady, you don't know the half of it.”

"What do you mean?"

He closed his eyes. No point in tryin' to explain the pain he was living through. She'd only want to “help.” “Never mind."

"Jesse, we're simply going to have to find a way to ignore this… whatever it is between us."

“Ignore it?" He shook his head, eyes still closed. "From where I'm standin', M'randa, that's gonna be mighty hard to do."

"Hard, yes. But not impossible.” She turned to look at him and didn't speak again until he'd cocked his head in her direction and opened his wide green eyes. “We could do it, Jesse. If we work together.”

“How do you mean?"

“Well, first off, we agree on one thing already."

“What's that?"

“That this kind of thing can't keep happening."

"Amen, sister."

"Right. You don't want a woman hanging around, and I certainly have no intention of falling in love with an outlaw."

One eyebrow quirked. “What's the matter with outlaws? Your own pa was one!"

“Now don't be insulted! We're supposed to work together on this."

“I ain't insulted. Just curious."

“Well, I promised my mother that I would never marry a man running from the law." When he would have spoken, Miranda added, “Besides, I want a husband who's home with me, not running around the countryside getting shot at by outraged citizens and angry posses." Her face fell “I've seen too many friends shot, hanged, or sent to jail to want that for myself."

"Sounds smart to me," Jesse whispered.

She looked at him and smiled. "Good."

“Don't see how that's gonna make much difference." He moved his hips slightly and winced. “Neither one of us wanted anything a few minutes ago, neither. And look what happened anyway."

She flushed and cleared her throat. "Yes, well. But we let that happen. We won't do that again."

"Oh.”

"All we have to do, Jesse, is treat each other like friends."

"Friends?" He grinned helplessly. If she didn't beat anything he'd ever heard of. Jesse'd never had a "friend" who could turn his body into a pool of melted butter before. Wouldn't you just know that she'd come up with something like that?

"Yes." She took a step closer, her excitement overriding her caution. "If you're no more than polite, and I treat you like I treat all the others in town, then I know we can avoid situations like this!"

"Polite."

"Polite.” She nodded emphatically. “If we avoid being alone together… well, for heaven's sake, Jesse. We're both adults."

“I ain't sure, but I think that's what's causin' all this trouble, M'randa." His lips quirked. "Us bein' adults and all."

“Yes.” She met his gaze for a long moment and leaned toward him before catching herself with a start. “I see what you mean. But I know we could do it if we just try."

Jesse looked down on her smiling face and realized that she really believed what she was saying. She actually thought that what was between them would just go away if they ignored it long enough. It would be like wishin' away hot weather in a desert summer.

Even now all he wanted to do was grab her and crush her to him. To inhale the flowery fragrance of her, to taste the inside of her mouth, run his tongue over hers, to slip his fingers inside the damp, warm center of her and feel her arch against his hand. And when she was ready for him, to join his body to hers and bury himself in her warmth, to feel her muscles tighten around him when she found her release.

Jesse groaned softly and closed his eyes.

This wasn't going to work.

"Jesse?" She laid one hand on his arm and rubbed his flesh absently with her thumb. "Are you all right?"

He stared at her and wondered where he would get the strength to keep clear of her when her slightest touch shook him to his toes. She looked so worried. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip and her eyes were shadowed. For both their sakes, Jesse knew he had to try to do it her way.

But God knew, he couldn't make any promises.

“No, M'randa," he finally said softly. Gently he lifted her hand from his arm and stepped back a pace. “I ain't all right I don't believe I'm ever gonna be all right again."

#

For almost two weeks they tried. Jesse'd never worked harder at anything in his life. He was polite. He was friendly. He was losing his mind.

He shook his head wearily and leaned back against the side of the stable. It was the only place in town where he could be alone. And yet he wasn't really alone there. The memories were too vivid. He and Miranda alone together, there beside the stable just after dawn. Memories of Miranda's breasts under his fingers, the taste of her, the soft sighs fanning his cheek.

Jesse hunched forward then back quickly, giving the back of his head a good thump against the plank wall. Late-afternoon shadows covered the ground, making the few rocks of the canyon still touched by sunlight stand out in stark contrast Idly he picked up one pebble after another and tossed them toward the cliff face.

This little bargain that he and Miranda had made wasn't working. At least not for him. As far as he could tell, Miranda wasn't having too much trouble treating him like any of the other outlaws hanging around town. His lips pressed together tightly and he reached for a slightly bigger stone. He flung it viciously at the rocks and felt no better after. Watchin' Miranda smilin' and talkin' and even on occasion dancin' with the other men was about to drive him completely loco.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her. Every move she made seemed destined to tug at him. To probe at the rawness of his too-long-ignored emotions. Jesse found himself finding ways to help her around the town. Carrying wood, patching roofs, hanging pictures, hell. He'd even swept the damn boardwalk just the other day. And still, it was hard to keep up with her.

Miranda worked like a demon night and day and still managed to be kind and friendly to everybody.

Oh, by rights he couldn't fault her any. It was just her way. His eyes squeezed shut and her face swam before him. Hell, he couldn't even blame the other men for wantin' to be near her. Isn't that what he wanted himself?

Jesse opened his eyes again and squinted at the canyon walls. When had it happened? he wondered. When had Miranda become first in his thoughts instead of the revenge he'd been thirsting for for two years? Like a feast laid before a starving man, Miranda's warmth and kindness had drawn him to her. She was everything he’d been denied for too long. She was everything he'd wanted and hoped for before Carter and Della died.

His fingers rolled another stone around on his palm. It pained him to know that if Carter and Della had lived, he'd never have met Miranda. He would have had no reason to pose as an outlaw and would never have learned about Bandit's Canyon. Is that the kind of thing his old grandmother meant when she would say, “Things always work out for the best"? He snorted and pushed himself to his feet. Now his tired brain really was off target. How could he ever claim happiness for himself because of Carter and Della's deaths?

Suddenly disgusted, Jesse brushed his palms together. Maybe it would be better if he just left the canyon now. He could think of another way to catch the man he was after. There had to be another way.

Someone laughed and he turned to look. Miranda was crossing the street, heading for the restaurant. Unerringly his gaze went to Miranda. She had a smile on her face, her turquoise eyes were shining, and that long, thick braid of hers layover one shoulder, across her breast.

Jesse took a deep breath and blew it out in a rush. He had to admit it, if only to himself. He couldn't leave the canyon. He couldn't leave Miranda. He wanted her too badly.

It was more than that, he knew. Jesse didn't just want her kisses, her embraces. He wanted to know how it felt to be loved by her. To be fussed over and worried about. To be welcomed after a long absence with a smile meant just for him. He didn't want to have to share her with a whole town full of misfits and troublemakers.

And he didn't want to have to worry about gettin' killed by Birdwell. Or Shelly. Jesse grinned as he thought about all the times during the last couple of weeks that those two people had just "happened" to be around whenever he and Miranda were together. Hell, if they only knew what all he was goin' through to keep away from her, they'd be able to let down their guard some.

Although, if they could read his thoughts, he'd be a dead man already.

#

After picking her way across the dry wash, Shelly stopped and cocked her head to listen. There was only the silence of the desert. Shaking her head, she kept walking, moving carefully over the stones in her path. She would have sworn that she'd heard the sound of footsteps close behind her. But she must have been mistaken. No one could get past the lookouts, and if there were Apache or Paiute in the area, they'd have seen some sign before this. Besides, whenever the Apache raided, they made straight for the big water hole and whoever might be there. Shelly kept her eyes fixed on the ground and stayed clear of the bigger rocks and boulders, knowing they would be the favored haunts of rattlesnakes.

She glanced up at the afternoon sky, pleased to see that the rain clouds had moved on to the neighboring mountains. Taking a deep breath of the sage-scented air, Shelly smiled. It was good to be alone for a while. As much as she loved her friends in town, sometimes she simply needed to be off by herself.