Nest of Vipers (15 page)

When the time came to make the very short journey to the Augusta's house, Lygdus left the
aureus
sitting in the bottom of the footbath water. Let the next foot-washing slave find it, Lygdus thought. The House of Castor had mutilated him, and now, just as they decided they should be rid of his embarrassment, they deigned to grace him with compensation. No. Lygdus had his dignity intact, if nothing else. His butchered manhood would not be paid for in gold.

But as he stepped into the daylight, Lygdus felt a pang of regret. The Augusta's household could well be worse than the home he was leaving. He would endure it, of course, no matter how bad it was. That was his lot as a slave. But how sad it would be to look back on his life and know he had rejected the one act of kindness that had not been a mask for cruelty. The young master had rewarded him out of gratitude. It wasn't hush money. Lygdus had been given the coin because he had already held his tongue and would have done so even if he had not been rewarded. Nero recognised nobility in Lygdus, yet Lygdus was only a slave.

Lygdus ducked inside again and retrieved the coin from the footbath.

As he reappeared in the daylight with the wet
aureus
tucked inside his loincloth, the faintest echo of a whisper touched his ear.

'
The one near sea falls by a lie that comes from the gelding's tongue
. . .'

Startled, Lygdus turned to see who had spoken to him.

There was no one there.

One month later: Julius Sacrovir of the
Aedui sows the seeds of rebellion in Gaul

With Livia's 'recovery' the order was given that she should be paraded around Rome like a goddess, as a part of Castor's public retinue. Whenever her grandson traversed the Forum, fronted the courts, witnessed the floggings or attended the Senate, the Augusta was to accompany him, sitting upright in a canopied throne held by eight litter-bearers. This would provide an indelible image for Rome, the city for which spectacle and display was all.

It fell to me – and my new 'apprentice', Lygdus – to coordinate these processions. I tied Livia's neck and torso to the back of the throne, then draped her in concealing robes and placed a diadem on her head. Lygdus made a contribution to these preparations that could only be described as token. It became clear to me that he was lazy and offensive and showed no talent for work. All he did was eat, sleep and complain. Yet still I had to suffer his daily presence along with the nagging certainty that he was Castor's agent. This meant I couldn't slight him, or – which would have been more deserved – strike him in the teeth and push him down the stairs. And the stealth required to employ the phallus under these circumstances was exhausting in the extreme. Lygdus was my millstone.

I carefully watched my
domina
's eyes during these preparations, as did Little Boots whenever he was present. If Livia had any objection to being exhibited, we saw no sign of it in her. To the people of Rome who witnessed her passing by in the canopied throne, she seemed regal and worthy of awe. They were glad she was back. Castor's public dignity increased tenfold when people saw that she was with him. The fact that she neither spoke nor moved but only stared fixedly into the middle distance seemed to strike no one as odd. But this was no surprise. In her days as the wife of Augustus she had rarely spoken in public; more often, she'd been seen exactly as she was now.

On one occasion, in glorious spring, when the streets and temples were vivid with flowers, the
domina
's processional preparations took longer than usual. In addition to her diadem and robes, I was attempting to hang garlands on her person, Castor's order being that she should remind the people of the goddess Flora. But various slaves had been in and out of the suite since dawn, filling me in on a developing morning of scandal in the Forum. Burrus's mother Nymphomidia stole in, eating pears from a bowl.

'Have you heard about Annia Rufilla?'

This was a notorious widow whose financial improprieties had brought her before the courts. 'She's been convicted of fraud,' I said. 'That's old news, Nymphomidia.'

The slave's lips peeled into a smile. 'You haven't heard then?'

'I've been hearing it all morning.'

'Sounds to me like
you've
been hearing the old news, Iphicles. Oh well, I won't trouble you,' said Nymphomidia, crunching a pear and making to go.

I saw that listening Livia was keen for the next instalment and decided to allow her this pleasure. 'Tell me, then – what's happened now?'

Nymphomidia had become used to speaking to me as if Livia wasn't even in the room. 'Annia's been screaming in the Forum that Gallus is a cunt. She called him a boy-lover, too, and said he took it up the arse.'

I guffawed and Livia's eyes shone with mirth. 'She can't say that sort of thing in the Forum! Gallus is a senator.'

'And he's also the magistrate who convicted her.'

'Has Gallus found out?'

'She was on the Senate steps. It was hard for him to miss it.'

I laughed again. 'I suppose she's been arrested?'

'Guess again,' said Nymphomidia. 'Gallus sent the lictors out with their rods raised ready to give her one, but they stopped in their tracks when she pulled a surprise out of her
palla
.'

'A knife? Why would they care if she killed herself?'

'It wasn't a knife – it was a bust of Tiberius.'

I felt a twinge of dread and caught my
domina
's eye again. Her look of amusement had turned malicious. 'What did Annia mean by doing that?'

'To have Gallus accused of treason.'

'That doesn't make sense.'

'If the lictors had beaten her, she would have dropped the bust – it would have smashed on the ground. Gallus would have been seen as the one who had caused it.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 'People are being accused of treason for breaking busts of the Emperor now?'

'Where have you been, Iphicles? It's very lucrative for those who make such accusations. They get a share of the traitor's estate.'

That was the first time, I think, that I questioned the wisdom of Cybele. It had been the Great Mother's prophecies that I had dedicated my life to fulfilling, and this had led me to commit many crimes. But everything had been necessary for the greater good of Rome, I had always told myself, and for the greater glory of my
domina
, Cybele's mortal manifestation. And without this certainty, how else could I have continued with so many innocent dead around me? Yet, hearing the news of Annia's shameless behaviour, I wondered whether the actions of Tiberius, the prophesied first king, could also be called for the 'glory of Rome'. Tiberius's vanity had allowed this travesty to happen – and it opened the door for so much more.

'What did Gallus do?'

Nymphomidia took another bite of her pear. 'What could he do? She caught him, it's the perfect revenge. She's still out there now, dragging his dignity through the horseshit while he sits in the Senate blocking his ears.'

There was a tiny sound from the back of my
domina
's throat, barely perceptible, but loud enough for Nymphomidia and me to hear in the brief silence.

The slave dropped her pear. 'Did the Augusta just speak?'

I would have denied it, anxious to cover all evidence of my
domina
's returning senses, but the news had unsettled me and I wasn't fast enough with my reply before the noise came again.

Nymphomidia peered into my
domina
's face. 'She
is
speaking. What are you trying to say, Lady?'

Livia kept her eyes fixed wholly upon me and I felt an old chill grip my spine again. 'She's not saying anything,' I insisted.

'But she is, Iphicles.'

'No,' I said, ill in my guts. 'She's not saying anything . . . she's laughing.'

Livia's wicked eyes glinted. It was true.

When Nymphomidia made her hasty excuses to leave, I flew to the chest that held the phallus. 'Things will be worse with you finding voice again,' I hissed at Livia. 'Do you love it that your son Tiberius's rule brings such shameful things to pass? Do you think it glorifies you all the more with people so debased? I am starting to wonder whether this is really for Rome's good at all. Perhaps it is time for the
second
king to ascend. A boy's rule can only be better than this sort of disgrace – especially if he has wise heads to guide him.'

I flung the lid of the chest open. It was empty. Livia made the tiny noise again, mocking me from her processional throne. I ripped the linen from her bed to see if I'd left it there in my distraction, but I hadn't. 'Where is it?' I spat at her. 'I'm going to make you sit on the thing for the whole procession just to punish you.'

Her eyes flashed fire.

I ran from chest to chest, flinging them all open. I pulled a tapestry from the wall, exposing the storage shelves of vases and ornaments behind it. There was no sign of the wooden fertility implement anywhere in the room.

'I know what you do with this thing,' said Lygdus.

I span around in shock. The young eunuch was lolling at the door, cradling the phallus in his hands.

'I know what you do – you shove it inside her.'

All words failed me in my exposure.

Lygdus smirked. 'You think I just stuff myself with cakes all the time while whining like a brat? I'm
studying
you, Iphicles, in all the hours we spend together. I study you like a book.'

I said nothing, waiting for him to make clear his intentions.

Lygdus placed the phallus tip beneath his nostrils and gave it a little sniff. He recoiled. 'So is this what her sex smells of? This stinks like poison.'

My guilty silence was the most the damning noise I could have made.

Lygdus's eyes widened. 'This
is
poison?'

The time it took for the breath to leave my lungs was all I had to decide on how to respond. Lygdus wasn't screaming in horror, or calling me a monster or a wretch. He was staring in shock, yes, but there was something else, too. He was
impressed
. I saw the merest shadow of my reflection in his eyes.

'It paralyses her,' I said.

Lygdus dropped the thing like it burned his hands.

'But it's failed. She can already see again and now she's beginning to speak.'

A wave of thrilled delight washed over the eunuch's face. 'You
hate
the Augusta?' he whispered.

Of course this wasn't true. I loved my
domina
more than anything and everything there was. But I saw in his smile the answer he
wanted
me to give, so I said, 'I hate her with all my soul.'

Lygdus gave a little giggle. 'Really?'

I nodded, solemn.

'Well, I can beat that – I hate them
all
!'

I burst out laughing in surprise.

'I want to see them dead. I want to see them nailed to trees. Every last
dominus
, every
domina
– they're all pigs. I want to slaughter them. I want to eat them.'

I had to steady myself.

'They cut off my balls,' Lygdus went on. 'They left me in a sheep's pen with the blood and the pain, and no one even cared if I lived or died. But I beat them – I didn't give up. Yet still I swelled like an elephant and my voice stayed like a boy's.'

I tried hard not to laugh now.

'I heard they cut off your balls too?' he said.

I couldn't tell him that I had made this sacrifice myself. 'It's true,' I lied.

The eunuch leaped from the door and threw his arms around me. 'We're brothers,' he declared, kissing my face and hair, 'brothers in suffering.'

I could only nod.

Lygdus stopped his kisses and took a step back to examine my face. 'Have you ever
hurt
one?' he whispered. 'One of
them
– have you ever hurt one, Iphicles?'

I took my final gamble. It was time for the truth again, or at least a version of it. 'I've done more than hurt – I've
killed
one, Lygdus. More than one, actually.'

Lygdus went white. I felt the back of my
tunica
belt, letting my fingers rest on the dagger I kept there. I intended killing him if I had misjudged my gamble, and would have to face the consequences later. Everything hinged on what he would do next.

The eunuch sank to his haunches and started kissing my shoes.

'What are you doing?'

'Show me your skills,' he begged me. 'Let me learn from your wisdom, Iphicles.'

'Stop that – let go of me.'

'I want to kill them too.'

'What?'

'Trust me, Iphicles – I want to kill them like you.'

I tried to pull my feet away but one of my woollen house shoes came loose in Lygdus's hands. The eunuch seized upon my bare foot, plunging his tongue between the spaces and placing my toes within his lips. My repulsion only lasted a few moments. I looked back to my
domina
, who was watching the whole exchange from her throne.

I gave her a long, bright smile, showing her every one of my teeth. She could not return the smile, but I wondered then, if she had regained the ability, whether she would have grinned back at me regardless of our differences. If only because I so richly deserved it.

I looked down at the fawning Lygdus and thanked the Great Mother for the gifts she continued to give me.

When my
domina
was nearly smothered in garlands and ready for her procession, Lygdus and I resumed our conversation while we waited for the litter-bearers. I asked the eunuch what he expected to gain from such murderous desires. Lygdus claimed to want nothing. Money had no appeal for him, nor did sexual pleasure, he said. The only things that held his interest were matters of the heart. His greatest desire was to serve a master who loved him. But he had given up this dream as hopeless. None of them would love him. This was why he wanted them dead.

I suspected the young eunuch was not wholly right in the head, but when I thought of the intense interest he had shown in my feet I could only marvel. Perhaps Lygdus's 'deserving master' could even be a slave?

It was then that he told me about his thwarted visit to Tiberius. Thrown by this revelation, I went very still. 'Why did you go to see
him
, Lygdus?'

The eunuch told me that he'd wanted to inform the Emperor of the birth of Livilla's boy. I absorbed this. 'But Tiberius would have found out himself the same night. Why did he need to hear it from you?'

Lygdus raised his eyes again and his look was flirtatious. 'Because I knew what no one else knew, Iphicles, and I still know it now.'

Although my eyes narrowed, my smile took on a shadow of flirtation too, just to encourage him to tell me. 'What would that be?'

Lygdus placed a hand upon his breast to feel the heartbeat fluttering beneath the mound of his flesh. 'My
dominus
Castor is not the father of that child.'

After a long moment I said, 'No one else knows it?'

'No one but my
domina
, Livilla, and she'll never dare tell anyone. And the baby's father knows it too. He's always known.'

'And how do
you
know?'

'I overhear my
domina
's prayers.'

The eunuch had greater stealth and cunning than I had given him credit for. All he lacked was execution. There was another long pause as we stared at each other.

'And who is the father?' I asked at last, my voice the lowest of whispers.

Lygdus told me.

I gave a sigh of pleasure as so many things made sense. I fancied I heard Livia make a similar noise, although I'm sure there was little pleasure in it for her. But when I looked to her, she gave nothing away. We heard the litter-bearers' boots echoing up the corridor towards the suite. Castor's Forum procession was starting.