#Nerd (Hashtag #1) (11 page)

She was standing so close her sweater brushed against my side. Concern radiated off her as she leaned around to try and catch a glimpse of my face. I turned my head and looked at her.

Our eyes collided and my entire world seemed to realign.

Ahh, fuck.

Rimmel

I thought he was going to kiss me.

For a second, I saw it in his eyes. I wondered if that same look had been reflected back at him.

But when he leaned in, I ruined it. My stupid brain got in the way and stopped him.

I wish I hadn’t. I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss Romeo. I’d imagined it more than once. I also wondered what it would be like in his arms.

I knew now.

It was the same feeling I got when I watched my favorite movie for the hundredth time. The same feeling I got when I was tired and cranky and wanted nothing more than to go home and put on my favorite ratty hoodie. It was that feeling I got when I finally was able to put it on.

Relief.

Comfort.

Familiar.

Even though he was almost entirely muscle, being wrapped up in him wasn’t rigid; there was enough softness to him that made me want to curl closer, to run my hands around to his back and tug him just a little bit nearer.

But he let go and I stepped away. I don’t know how long it took for my heart rate to return to normal, but when it had, I noticed him hunching over the sink like he was suddenly ill.

Didn’t it just figure?

I practically melted in this guy’s arms and he got sick.

Way to make him want you, Rimmel.

I shook my head. There were so many things wrong with that single thought it scared me. I pushed it aside and moved into the kitchen behind Romeo. My hand hovered over his back for long seconds before I got up enough nerve to actually touch him.

When he didn’t pull away, I increased the pressure of my hand. I spoke to him. I don’t recall what I said.

He looked at me.

Yes, he’d looked at me many times before. But never like this.

I felt as though a hand punched into my chest and squeezed. The look laid bare in his sparkling blue eyes was raw and intense. It awakened feelings in me I thought I’d buried a long, long time ago.

Romeo turned from the sink. One of his hands curved around my hip and tugged me just a little bit closer. My limbs grew heavy, like I was sinking in a pit of sand. He leaned down and I stretched up.

This time I wasn’t going to pull away.

“Roman.” An unfamiliar voice broke into the heavy curtain of desire between us. “Oh!” the woman exclaimed in surprise when she saw he wasn’t alone.

We jerked apart like lightning struck between us.

“Mom,” Romeo said, his voice slightly strained. I turned my eyes on his mother as she stood there staring at us.

Clearly she was surprised. I couldn’t understand why. Surely I wasn’t the first girl to ever be in his apartment. And we weren’t even… well, we were studying.

Well, sort of.

“I saw your car and thought I’d come see if you wanted to join your father and me for dinner,” she said, fingering a golden necklace around her throat.

She was a beautiful woman with blond hair, a perfectly made face, a fresh manicure with red fingertips, and dressed in a red sheath to match. Her eyes weren’t blue like Romeo’s, and I wondered if he’d gotten those from his father. She was taller than me by several inches and looked like she worked out on a regular basis because she wasn’t just thin; she was toned.

I remembered what Romeo said about her being a perfectionist about the way the house looked. Clearly that perfectionism extended to her own appearance.

“I’m a little busy right now, Mom,” Romeo replied. “But thanks.”

“Who are you?” his mother said frankly, eyeing me without apology. I wanted to cringe, but I didn’t. If this woman thought appearance was everything, then she must be dying inside as she looked at me.

I stepped forward and extended my hand. It was covered by the purple material of my sweater. I grimaced and shoved it away, offering my hand once more. “I’m Rimmel.”

For a brief moment, I thought she might refuse my hand, but then she reached out and lightly grasped my fingers. “I’m Victoria, Roman’s mother.”

“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly when she pulled back. She didn’t like me. It was painfully obvious. My stomach clenched a little. I knew I shouldn’t care what her opinion of me was, but I did. This was one of the reasons I chose animals over people. I cared too much. It made me feel sick inside when people looked at me the way she was right now. I couldn’t understand why others were so judgmental of each other. I was entirely too sensitive and it was easier to just blend into the background and go unnoticed.

“You got to college with my son?” she asked.

Romeo stepped forward so I could feel the solid wall of him just behind me. I told myself not to enjoy the feeling, to realize he wasn’t standing there for me, but because his mother was speaking.

“Thanks for the offer, Mom. Save me a plate? I’ll come in and eat later.”

Just like that, she dismissed me. Her eyes flicked behind me to settle on Romeo. “We’ll talk when you come in.”

He agreed and then after another tense moment, she turned and left. I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and turned. “Wow, she’s…”

“Intimidating?” he finished, the corner of his mouth turning up. “She’s not that bad when you get to know her.”

Pain pierced my heart and a small cloud of sorrow swept over me. I turned toward my bag to get out a pencil and notebook.

“Hey,” Romeo said softly. He caught my hand and pulled me around. I glanced down at where we touched and stared at the difference in size of our hands. “Did I say something?”

I shook my head. “Maybe we should get to work.”

His fingers tightened on mine before he let go. For a second, I hoped he would yank me into him and give me that kiss I’d lost out on twice now.

But he didn’t.

We spent the next hour and a half studying. It was hard to focus here in his house. The only light came from two pendants hanging over the island where we were seated. The lights everywhere else in the house were off. The darker it got outside, the more definitive the bubble of light was that we sat in. Like we were in our own little world and beyond it was nothing but darkness.

At one point, I pointed to something on his paper and our hands brushed together. Our eyes met and another one of those heavy moments passed between us. By the time I was packing up my things, my nerves were slightly frayed and my skin was humming.

I didn’t know that being alone with him would affect me this way. We finished later than usual because we got a later start. Well, that and I don’t think either one of us looked at the clock once.

“I’ll drive you back to campus,” he said, pushing his notebook aside and standing up to stretch. When he reached his arms over his head, the hem of his T-shirt rode up and I could see a taut expanse of skin across his waist.

Those muscles on either side of his hips were visible again, creating a deep V shape that disappeared down into his jeans.

I bit my lower lip as heat blossomed in my center.

He must have noticed my reaction because his eyes darkened and he slowly lowered his arms. His cell began ringing from somewhere in his pocket and broke the moment.

He swore lightly and pulled it out to look at the screen. “It’s Braeden,” he said before answering.

“Hey, man,” he said.

I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder and pointed toward the door. “I’ll wait outside.”

He nodded and went back to his call. I moved slowly through the dark living room until I made it to the door. Outside was cold. It was never this cold in Florida in October.

My breath puffed out in front of my face and I wrapped my arms around myself for added warmth. I really needed to start remembering a coat. It just wasn’t something I ever thought about because in Florida I never had to.

I glanced out at the pool. There were lights glowing from within the water, making it look like an inviting lagoon.

I stayed back away from it and moved around toward the driveway. There were trees lining his property and dotting various points in the landscape. All the leaves were golden and burnished orange. A crisp breeze blew through the night and a few quivering leaves fell and floated silently to the ground.

This house was beautiful. It looked austere and well kept, but not so cold that it was uninviting. I grew up in a small three-bedroom home where the only tree in our yard was a palm tree and the grass was brown most of the year because it was always so incredibly hot.

Maryland was a beautiful state. The trees, the air—

A slamming noise from behind had me spinning around. I glanced at the house, thinking Romeo had finished his call, but it wasn’t him.

It was his mother.

She was heading toward me from the back door of the main house. Light spilled out over the concrete from the door she’d left partially open.

“I’m just waiting for Rome-Roman to take me back to campus. He’s on the phone,” I told her as she stopped in front of me. I didn’t want her to think I was out here doing something I wasn’t supposed to.

“Why are you here?” she asked coolly.

Her question caught me off guard a little. “Umm, we were studying.”

Her face turned sour, like she sucked on an entire lemon. “I’m not stupid, you know.”

I gave her a blank look.
What?

“I know my son is very popular. I know he dates.”

A pit formed in my stomach. She couldn’t possibly think I was dating Romeo. I didn’t have to say anything because she just kept on talking.

“You aren’t the first girl he’s brought home.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “He usually sneaks them in and out and thinks his father and I don’t see.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s almost twenty, he’s an adult, and he keeps his… relationships quiet so I never say a word.”

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.” My stomach was feeling twisted and I didn’t want to hear about all the girls Romeo brought home.

“You’re the first one I’ve actually seen. The first one he didn’t try to hide.”

Obviously, she thought I was lying about studying. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to hold out my arms and say
look at me!
But I didn’t. I had pride and I also knew Romeo didn’t think I was that terrible looking. If he did, I wouldn’t have seen that look in his eyes before.

“I won’t have you”—she paused to look me up and down—“or any other low-class girl come into my home and try to take advantage of my son. He has a bright future ahead of him, an important one, and I won’t allow anyone to distract him from that.”

I swallowed. She thought I was a gold-digger? She thought I wanted to somehow benefit from Romeo?

I laughed. I laughed so hard I snorted.

She stared at me like I had five heads.

“Don’t worry,” I said, drawing up my meager stature and height. “Your son is safe from
low class
like me.”

She stiffened. I glanced back at Romeo’s house.

What the hell was I doing here?
I mean, really. I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be feeling things for a guy who could never reciprocate. This was wrong. It was just all so wrong.

It wasn’t going to happen again.

I couldn’t let it.

Tears burned the backs of my eyes and I blinked them away.

His mother was still standing there studying me. It seemed like some of the fight had left her face. But I didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“Tell Romeo,” I said, not bothering to correct myself and use his full name. “That I found my own way home.”

I turned and walked away, keeping my head held high and my shoulders back. I walked that way until I disappeared around the curve in the driveway along the side of the house. Once I stepped into the darkness, I allowed my shoulders to slump.

A lone tear fought its way past my furious blinking and trailed over my cheek. I wiped it away and ran.

I ran to the end of the driveway and out onto the street without ever looking back.