Navy SEAL Surrender (11 page)

“I hope I’m not. I was just a kid without a good head on my shoulders, who took advantage of his brother.”
Not for the reasons everyone believes, but I still took advantage of his admission.
“Dammit, I didn’t
want
to leave your daughter with those people.”

He had no more explanations.
Excuses, you mean.
Better word choice, more accurate. Poor planning. Caught with his pants down. Disbelief when the woman sitting on him fell to her side, shot in the head. The strong emotions associated with this op overpowered his ability to think straight.

“For the record, I didn’t shoot anyone. My weapon hasn’t been fired. Check it.” He leaned forward, pulled it from his back waistband and held it out to her. She’d been cleaning handguns since she could pull a trigger and knew what to do without any instruction, but she didn’t take it from him. “It’s a safe bet that Weber used one of Brian’s or even Dwayne’s.”

“Patrick shot her? But when I heard the shot, he was holding Lauren. You mean she heard, maybe even saw him?” She tugged on his arm. “Turn around. Now. I’m begging you not to leave her with them. Oh, dear God. What are they going to do to her?”

“She’s safe.”
For now, at least.

They couldn’t go back. She acknowledged that in a matter of seconds with a deep, hurtful roar of hopelessness. It didn’t matter that he was the person who’d made the decision to leave her little girl behind. It didn’t matter that they needed to leave the area as fast as possible.

From here, he could keep them off the main roads and away from the search that would ensue. None of it mattered as much as the pain he heard next to him. He swung the car onto a dirt road, yanked the keys and jumped outside.

Right this minute, Alicia needed him as a friend, someone to hold her as she grieved. He’d never comforted a civilian before. It would be a new experience for him, but it was necessary. They weren’t exactly touchy-feely in the navy. He’d compensate his lack of know-how with sheer willpower to take whatever she dished out without a negative response. Surely she’d get it together before he needed to say anything. Right?

Hoping any effort from him would help her, he opened the door, knelt awkwardly with a knee on the floorboard and pulled her into his arms. She resisted at first, grabbing the steering wheel with one hand and the seat belt with the other. When his strength won out, she collapsed against his chest.

“I don’t want you to touch me,” she said as her arms contradicted her, landing on either side of his neck. “Oh, God, Johnny. How could you let this happen?”

The words she muttered changed to giant sobs. He just held her. None of her dislike of how he’d handled the extraction mattered. The physical stress mixed with the emotional upheaval of the past few days. She just needed someone to hang on to. And he was her only choice.

As her crying shuddered through her body, the strain tightened his muscles. He held her closer, skintight to keep her from breaking free. His jaw cracked with his own apprehension. If he had done something differently, would Alicia be holding Lauren instead of him?

Did she believe the failed rescue was his fault? She didn’t really want an answer about how it had happened. Right? He could provide it. He’d written a hundred reports answering the hard question of how the best-planned op had detoured into a nightmare.

He didn’t know what to say—if he should say anything at all. He’d never dealt with failure in a good way. It didn’t sit well in his gut. But other botched operations didn’t hold a candle to this one. Her crying shuddered to a stop as she pounded on his shoulder. She continued to chant, “
Why, why, why,” a
gain and again. He could always push the doubt aside and eventually lock the memories in a place they didn’t surface.

Very few ever involved children.

Not this. Not Alicia.

Someone as caring and giving as she was deserved to be protected, pampered. Deserved something to go right in her life. There was a long list of how he’d underestimated his opponent tonight. Another list of what he’d done wrong afterward. But there was only one promise he could make.

“No matter what it tak
es.” No matter what it cost him—family or career. He’d give anything a
nd everything. “I’ll reunite you with your daughter.”

She drew a deep, shuddering breath and tilted her questioning eyes in wonder at him. Instead of wanting to gently set her away and get back on the road, he wanted to keep her tucked close or kiss her into oblivion.

Damn it to hell, he was falling in love with her all over again.

Chapter Sixteen

Straighten up and fly right.
Her dad’s phrase from one of his favorite songs.

Why the words were in Alicia’s mind at this particular moment, she had no idea. Was she ready to sit straight and stop lamenting over what had happened?

But John had left her child in the hands of murderers. Could she forgive him long enough to accept his help? She had to. She had no choice. She would rescue her daughter no matter what it took.
No matter what it took.
That was her answer.

It was time to leave the protection of his strong arms wrapped securely around her and determine what they needed to do next.

“You okay now?” he asked. The phone vibrated on the console.

“No. But I’ll function.” She tapped his shoulders, hoping he’d release her before she lost it again. “It’s probably Devlin with news. You need to answer it.”

“We have a lot of work ahead of us, you know.” He stood, sweeping the phone into his hand at the same time. “Yeah?”

John walked to the front of the car and finished his conversation. The serious look on his face didn’t really indicate whether the news was good or bad. The look was almost always there. She couldn’t remember anything he’d asked Devlin or Brian to do before they’d gotten to the kidnappers’ house. She’d been focused on following Patrick, on getting Lauren away from the monsters who had stolen her. She hadn’t been listening to John’s plans or if she’d been included.

Since this debacle had begun, he’d been multitasking, thinking ahead, planning the next move. Totally unlike the young recruit who had graduated from high school and left for boot camp without any plans to return. She’d admitted he’d changed.

So had she.

She’d become an adult, so it was logical that John had done the same. Gone were the boyish grin and the never-grow-up attitude. Replaced by a complete and focused concentration, along with a speak-when-spoken-to response.

She could handle that. Maybe. She wasn’t as completely immune to the attraction between them as he seemed to be. Lying under him, even in a dangerous situation like minutes before, she’d found it hard not to remember the lean, sinewy muscles his body had developed. If he had any response to her, he hid it well.

Even when being in his arms gave her comfort, he seemed to pull back the passion. With one exception—their kiss in front of Joe. Both times she’d kissed him had jump-started her heart in a way she hadn’t thought would ever be possible again after Dwayne died.

But she wasn’t ready. There was too much chaos in her life, too many problems with no foreseeable solutions.

No matter what happened with her, John would leave anyway. He was here to help save his brother and Lauren. And when J.W. was better, he’d return to his mysterious assignments protecting the world. He’d never be satisfied pinned down with a family in their little country corner.

No, she was far from ready to fall for anyone. Especially him.

Don’t read anything into those hugs other than their intent to keep you from falling completely apart.
She was a soldier to him. Someone who needed to accomplish his goal. Nothing more. Nothing less.

John got back in the car in silence, turned it around and headed northeast—the opposite direction from the lake where Devlin was staying. She didn’t mind a change in plans, but being included in the discussion every once in a while would be nice.

Who was she kidding? She had no experience and would follow his instructions and advice. She understood her limited role. And at the back of her mind there was the question of whether he’d dump her someplace safe to get her out of his hair. She needed to be mature, gain control of her emotions and be helpful. A faithful sidekick, not a hindering fool who screwed things up.

“Where are we going?”

“Dev checked the scanners. We’re avoiding the police. Looks like the cops received a call from the Webers earlier, saying they’d been contacted by the kidnappers and had chosen to deliver the ransom themselves. By the time the police got to the ransom-exchange address, Patrick supposedly would have Lauren back.”

“So they staged the entire event to make themselves look like heroes. But we interrupted and reinforced their claim that I was behind the abduction. I’m sorry I messed everything up.”

“How do you figure that?” he asked, his voice deep and quiet.

“I couldn’t sit in the car and wait. I thought you should know there was a second car. I thought Patrick had an accomplice who would get the jump on you or something. So I tried to warn you.”

“I get that.”

“Did Patrick plan to kill Tory before we showed up? Or was she killed because of me?” she asked, full of guilt that her presence may have caused the young woman’s death.

John rubbed his free hand across his mouth and jaw stubble. Contemplating something. “Tell me about Patrick and Shauna.”

“Like what?” He’d avoided her question, but she wouldn’t forget to ask it again. She wanted to know the truth and take responsibility. Had Patrick hired Tory and her boyfriend to handle the kidnapping? If he had, then why had he brought a gun to pick up her daughter? It didn’t make sense.

“For starters, did you think Weber was capable of shooting anyone?” John draped his wrist over the top of the wheel. Casual. Relaxed. Yet there was a tension in the way he sat and the way he constantly searched the mirrors.

“No. I’m still having a hard time absorbing it. You don’t think it was an accident or that he was aiming at you? I mean, he knew Tory from Lauren’s day care.”

They were in the middle of nowhere. Illuminated only by the dashboard lights, John’s face was all sharp angles and serious glare. Either deep in thought or terribly irritated. She couldn’t tell. Either way she had a strange feeling she wouldn’t like what he was about to say.

“Alicia.” He pulled to a stop sign and faced her. “Weber didn’t hesitate to shoot that woman, and he did it with Lauren on his hip.”

“What does that mean?”

“I think he’s done it before and had gone there with the intention of killing the two witnesses to the actual kidnapping. Then there’d only be Lauren, who would sound confused since she knew Tory from her school.”

“Oh, my gosh. Who do you think he’s killed before today?” Fear clogged her throat, but she swallowed the lump and pushed it away. She could be scared later, when she was alone. Not now. Now she had to help get her little girl back. Who could it have been? A slow realization filled her. “You think he killed Roy Adams.”

“It’s a logical assumption. Dwayne was...gone. If Roy was dead, Shauna would inherit. Did she know about Lauren’s trust fund receiving the bulk of the money?”

“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I didn’t know about it either, honestly. Roy probably changed his will after Dwayne died.”

“Where was his body found, again?” His free hand rubbed his chin in thought. It softened his chiseled features.

“At the old barn Joe told us about.”

“Why was he out there when the stables are nowhere nearby?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, John, but I really don’t know. I was sort of in a daze after Dwayne’s accident. Lauren was six months old. I had to put Dad in a full-care facility. And Roy convinced me to move back to his house. Shauna hated that, of course. I moved to Denton a couple of months later when I went back to work full-time. It made more sense to live closer to the hospital.”

“You didn’t see any signs?”

“As in signs of depression? No. I didn’t see him as often after we moved. Roy seemed preoccupied. But Shauna made the town aware she’d been hiding his depression from everyone, especially me.”

“But you don’t think he committed suicide?”

“At the time? I didn’t want to believe it could happen to someone so close to me, but it’s what the authorities concluded. I didn’t know to question their decision.”

More than anything, she’d felt betrayed by the last person who’d given her emotional support. A very selfish thought to have. And then the guilt had hit her. She was a health-care professional, and several people had asked how she’d missed his depression. They’d almost accused her of being responsible.

“And what about now?” John asked.

“After Shauna and Patrick have kidnapped Lauren and killed Tory? I think Roy’s
suicide
was very
convenient.
” She wanted to confront them both and demand the truth. “It also makes me wonder if Dwayne actually had an accident. Roy questioned it all the time.”

John shoved the car in gear, putting on a little too much gas, fishtailing a bit as the tires left gravel and connected with pavement. He hit the dashboard and then searched for the cell he’d tossed on the console.

“What’s wrong?” She placed the phone in his hand so he could keep his eyes on the road. “I can help, if you let me.”

“You should have said something.” He tapped the breaks to slow down.

“Told you what, John? I don’t understand.”

“People are dropping around you like flies, woman. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Noticed?” The shaky breath she managed to pull in barely stayed the tears of hurt from cascading down her cheeks. Hurt or fright? “I’ve done more than
notice
the ones I’ve loved leaving me. I’ve lived it. You can’t possibly think Patrick and Shauna killed them both?”

John stared at her so long, she thought he might have forgotten he was driving the car. He got that look on his face. Troubled. Hurting. Haunted. The same things she felt deep down, especially when she was alone.

“I think there’s something in that barn. Or there was. Something to make your father-in-law become preoccupied and stop seeing you and his grandchild. There’s no other reason for Roy to hang out there like you said he was doing.”

“Will knowing help get Lauren back?”

“We have to do more than get your daughter back, Alicia. Only the truth will get your and Brian’s lives back. It’s all connected. We just have to determine how and prove it.”

“I can’t believe I missed all this. You’ve been home less than a week and have uncovered so much. If I hadn’t been caught up in my own little world of problems, I would have—”

“Stop beating yourself up. No one else noticed, either. No one had a reason to notice or suspect foul play. If there’s one thing I’ve learned during twelve years of deployment around the world—” John paused, visibly swallowed hard “—evil has a habit of disguising itself to get whatever it wants.”

The cold authority in his voice sent a chill down Alicia’s spine.