t was almost two years later and there I was lying in bed thinking about Jaylin. Bitter was a word that surely described me, and revenge was recently added to my list when I discovered no other man could take his place.
Finding a replacement for the man I once loved was like finding a million dollars in a sack right in front of my house. Since Jaylin ended our relationship, I'd dated several men, but no man could compare. It wasn't that I was looking for somebody
like him, but was it that impossible for a brotha to have a decent job, a nine-plus inch stick, and work it for more than ten minutes ? It couldn't be. If bad sex and employment weren't the issues, then playing games was another. I was tired of the lies, and if one more man told me how much he loved me, and two weeks later I just happen to run into another one of his “love ones”, I was going to scream! I couldn't help but wonder where in the hell were all the good men?
When I heard Spencer mumble something in his sleep, I rolled my eyes over to the back of his head. He mumbled something again, and when I heard him moan, “Yvette” and quickly paint a grin on his face, it was time for me to go. I tried not to wake him, so I carefully eased out of bed. I looked for my panties on the floor and tip-toed over to them. Spencer's snores got louder and louder. I stood in my panties while shaking my head with disgust. I had high hopes for the brotha. He delivered the mail at Jay's, the place I own that's designed to make women look beautiful. The first time Spencer came in, I figured he was going to be something special. With a six foot frame, 210 pounds of solid Hershey's Chocolate, light brown eyes, and my mail in his handsâwho would have thought that in the bedroom he couldn't deliver.
I'd been seeing him for almost a month and was anxious for this day to come. We'd had plenty of dinners, a few late night walks, and he even had the decency to send roses the other day. That's what kind of made me feel as if it was time to show him what I was working with. I was prepared to do just thatâuntil he broke out a half of a pencil between his legs. Damn! I was disappointed. I tried to work with it, but I couldn't. He caught me shaking my head in disbelief, but couldn't help myself. All that muscle and it wasn't even in the right place.
I spotted my black mini dress that I wore over to his house last night by the door. Just as I was about to make my way to it, Spencer's head popped up and he rubbed his fingertips over his closed eyes.
“You're leaving already?” he mumbled.
I stopped in my tracks. “Yeah. I gotta open up the shop early today so that Bernie can get in by the time her nine o'clock appointment arrives.”
He looked at my half naked body and smiled. “It's only six o'clock. Why don't you lay with me for awhile longer? Your body felt warm andâ”
It was kind of early, so I tried to be nice and eased my way back in bed with him. He wrapped his arm around my neck and I laid my head on his muscular bicep. His fingers ran through the waves in my long black hair, and seeing that his mini monster was rising, I turned my head to address him.
“Spencer, thanks for a good time. I'm only staying for another hour or so and I can't see you tonight as promised.”
He continued to stroke my hair. “Can you make love to me again before you go? Last night was spectacular. Give me a little something extra to keep on my mind until we meet again.”
I hated to reject him, so I touched his manhood and stroked it. It was hard as cement, but it did nothing for me. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go there with him again, so I told him that I needed to go to the bathroom.
“Now?” he griped.
He sighed and I got out of bed.
While looking in the mirror, I saw the woman I had worked so hard to be. I'd finally gotten my business degree, had my own business, was a good mother to Mackenzie, could have just about any man I wanted, and my body was one that many women craved for. Then, why? Why was it so hard for me to find Mr. Right? Yes, Jaylin had scarred me, but I still desired to have what we shared with somebody else. Or, did I? I thought. At times, it was hell living with him, but we always seemed to make it through. No matter what though, my days with Jaylin were some of the best days of my life.
I flushed the toilet that I hadn't used and washed my hands. I opened the bathroom door, finding myself face-to-face with Spencer. He backed me into the door and stood tall in front of me.
“What took you so long?”
“I was handling my business,” I said with a fake smile.
“Your business was out here waiting for you,” he said. He lowered his head and cupped my left breast in his hand. After he swayed the tip of his finger around my hard nipple, he covered it with his mouth. His tongue turned in circles and my breast took on a shiny look from the saliva that drizzled from his lips. I'll admit, by the time he worked my other breast, and massaged both in his hands, I squirmed like a slithering snake against the door. My breasts were quickly abandoned and Spencer lowered himself. He held my hips with his hands, lifting my leg and gently placing it on his broad shoulder. He was directly in front of my coochie and before exploring me with his tongue, he looked up at me.
“You got some good ass stuff. It's potent, baby. I want you to be my woman, alright?”
I couldn't even respond. I knew if I did, it would be out of pure lust. How dare him have me pinned up against the door with his breath breathing on my clit that was waiting to be licked, and ask such a question.
I kept quiet and Spencer dove right into it. He licked around my swollen clit and traced the furrows of my walls with the tip of his curled tongue. As he felt my juices coming down, he went in deeper. I stood on the tip of my toes, encouraging him to have at it. The feeling was much better than his sex was, and as his licks got more intense, I pulled the ends of his neat cornrowed braids. I was almost
and when my body jerked, it was all over with for me.
Spencer licked around his lips and stood up. He took my hand and walked me into his bedroom. Knowing exactly what he wanted, I lay back on the bed and opened my legs. He placed a condom on his mini-monster, and within seconds, it had found its way inside of me. I closed my eyes and hoped that it would be over with soon. As he pumped hard, it felt as if a needle was pricking my insides. I quickly dried up and Spencer noticed that I just wasn't feeling him. He stopped the motion.
“What's up with you?” he asked.
“I . . . I'm fine,” I said, and then rolled on top of him. I knew that he couldn't handle what I was about to put on him; and surely enough, after three good strokes on top, the party was over.
“Damn, baby,” he moaned and tightly pulled me forward. “Why'd you have to do that?”
“Do what?” I whispered. He held my face in his hands and moved my hair away from my light brown eyes.
“Why'd you have to put it down like that? You badder than a mutha, and I'm gon' keep you around for a very long time.”
Not if I could help it
, I thought. I reminded Spencer that I had to get to the shop, and certainly after getting what he wanted, he didn't mind my attempt to depart. I hurried to put on my clothes and damn near broke my neck as I tried to make my exit.
Spencer stood naked and opened the door for me. “I'll see you around noon when I deliver your mail. Don't be telling your girlfriends at the shop how good I was to you,” he bragged.
I rubbed the side of his face. “Never,” I smiled. “How good you were stays between us. Besides, I wouldn't want no one to come over here and experience anything like what I just experienced.”
He smiled againâas if I was giving him some props. Only if Spencer knew, he'd go down in my little black book as a serious LAZY FUCK!
I gave Spencer a peck on his lips, and took off in my convertible Thunderbird. I let the top down, so that allowed the cool breeze to blow vigorously throughout my ride. My hair was already a mess so I didn't mind that it had blown all over my head. But as soon as I got to a stoplight, I combed my fingers through my hair and reached in my purse for my lip gloss. I slid the gloss over my lips while looking in my rearview mirror. Then I turned on the radio and listened to “Missing You,” by Tamia. I hadn't heard that song in a long time, and like many songs that I listened to, they made me think about Jaylin.
As much as I hated to admit it, my life had never been the same since my last encounter with him. I should have never asked him to meet me for dinner and make love to me at the Four Seasons Hotel that night. Had I known he wasn't able to forgive me for sleeping with his cousin, Stephon, I would've chalked up my losses and went on my merry way.
The light turned green so I sped up to make it to Jay's. Of course, I named my business after Jaylin, and the name was perfect. All of the money he and Nanny B had given Mackenzie and I, sure in the hell paid off. Not only did I have Jay's, but I also had some property that I rented on the Southside of St. Louis. That, along with investing some of the money, made me one well-off sista. I didn't need no man to take care of me as I had before, but I sure as hell missed the one who had made all of this possible.
I pulled in front of Jay's on Carondelet Boulevard in Clayton. I had one of the nicest places on the block, and for the neighborhood to be considered upscale, I felt blessed.
The phone was ringing inside, but by the time I got to it, it had stopped. I looked around at the stylists' work stations and they were all pretty much tidy and clean. I checked the back rooms where my girls, Lacey and Deidra worked and they were tidy, too. They gave the best massages in St. Louis, so our customer base was huge. Lastly, I made sure China Doll, Yasing's work station was in order. She was responsible for giving pedicures and could make anybody's feet feel and look like a million dollars.
Once I saw that everything was clear, I went into my spacious office in the back. It was furnished with a soft yellow leather sofa and chairs. White and silver were my choices for accessories and the contemporary style made my office look as if it belonged in a
Better Homes & Gardens
I sat at my glass top desk, thinking hard about my evening with Spencer. My thoughts prompted me to open my desk drawer. I pulled out a cracked picture of Jaylin and held it in front of me. I felt anger inside as I'd felt it many times before when I glared at his picture. I hadn't heard from him at all, and frankly didn't know if he was dead or alive. I did know, however, that he no longer lived in Chesterfield. And, the only reason I'd known that was because I'd been by his house several times since our breakup and an elderly white couple came to the door.
Honestly, I was afraid to find out his status, but the more I thought about it, a part of me wanted to know. I knew Stephon still had his barbershop in the Central West End, but I didn't know if he'd be willing to share anything with me about Jaylin. I wasn't sure if Jaylin had forgiven Stephon for having sex with me and I doubted that they had reconciled their differences.
While in thought, my eyes were closed, until I heard a knock at my door. It was Bernie.
“Good morning,” I said, placing the picture back into the drawer.
“Good morning to you, too. Or is it?” Bernie sat in front of my desk and crossed her legs. “So, tell me, how was last night?”
Tired for nothing, I covered my face with my hands and yawned, “It was awful. Girl, that fool Spencer need to be put in jail for performing like he did.”
Bernie laughed. “Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that good looking man who be coming in here to deliver the mail ain't no good in bed?”
“That's exactly what I'm saying. He fooled us all!”
We both laughed.
I looked at Bernie and prepared myself to ask for advice. Since she was forty-five years old, and the oldest woman who worked for me, I kind of trusted her advice. I had shared
with her before, but not much with anyone else.
“Bernie,” I said. “How do you know if you're still in love with somebody?”
“I assume you're talking about Jaylin, right?”
Bernie's forehead wrinkled, as she placed her index finger on the side of her temple and glared at me. “Do you still think about him?”
“In your thoughts, does he creep into your bed in the middle of the night when you're alone?”
“Yes. Even when I'm not alone.”
“Are your thoughts good or bad?”
Bernie let out a deep sigh. She turned her head and pointed her well manicured fingernail towards the door. “If he walked through that door right now, what would you do?”
I gazed at the doorway and Jaylin appeared in my vision, only to soon disappear.
“I'd kill him! I'd wrap my hands around his neck and choke the shit out of him. Then I'dâ”