Natural Selection (16 page)

“
Part of our genetic makeup
is an attraction to other Gaia.” Nate cleared his throat and put
his finger under my chin until I met his eyes. “Amelia, you have to
know that if you weren’t my best friend’s little sister, I would
have asked you out by now..” He spoke very quietly. I felt a little
tingle where he touched me, and I wondered if it was him or me. But
when I thought about it, there was a tingle in my toes, too. His
mouth slowly began to lower, and I braced myself for my first kiss.
A million thoughts ran through my mind, and I didn’t recognize a
single one.

Instead of kissing me, Nate
rested his forehead against mine, his hand on my cheek. He sighed,
and this time there was no denying the regret. He sat very still
for a long moment, and I could almost feel the frustration and
desire warring in his mind. I jerked back slightly when I realized
I could
actually
sense his conflict. Was this supposed to be one of my
abilities? Mom was teaching me, but she was also setting a slow
pace of endless frustration for me. And she wasn’t exactly free
with the information. When I asked her why I had to drag everything
out of her, she claimed it was because she was worried I would try
to do too much too fast. For some reason, I didn’t buy that. I
couldn’t help but wonder what she was keeping from me. There had to
be a topic she was skirting, trying not to tell me. The end result,
though, was that I didn’t know what I could and could not do. Maybe
sensing emotions was one of my abilities? I wondered if I could
only sense other Gaia, or if it required contact. I moved away so
he wasn’t touching me and the feelings went away. Then I moved
close again, and I could sense amusement and wonder. I cocked my
head, my eyes wide as I looked at him.

“
You just noticed it,
didn’t you? You can sense my feelings?” I couldn’t think of a word
to say so I just nodded. He smiled, and I realized he had been able
to sense my feelings this whole time. Meaning—he knew how he
affected me. He felt every spike of emotion, every flash of my
hormones. He knew how being close to him made my heart race, and
how stupid I felt for it. And he’d never said a word.

I sincerely hoped he felt my pain and
betrayal before I pulled away from him. I felt violated—even though
logically it wasn’t something he had control over. Was I over
reacting? I came down on the side of “who cares” and just went with
it.

Nate frowned at me and opened his
mouth, but I really wasn’t ready for anything he had to say so I
spoke first, barely above a whisper. “Maybe you should take me
home?” His lips pressed tightly together, but he nodded and stood
stiffly.

We rode in silence for the few minutes
it took to get to my house, but as I started to reach for the door
handle of the car he grabbed my arm, and I felt his frustration and
defensiveness. “It’s not something I had control over, Lia. The
first time I noticed it was the first day of school, but it was
faint until today, a hint here and there. And it only works when
we’re touching. That’s why I tried to keep my distance. I’m sorry
if I hurt you, that was never my intention.”

I looked at him for a long moment and
considered his words. I tried not to feel the sincerity and hope he
felt, but I couldn’t. If I was being honest with myself, he
probably would have known about my feelings whether or not he could
sense them. I didn’t have much of a poker face. I didn’t have to
tell him I didn’t blame him, he could feel it. He smiled and pulled
me closer. His lips slowly lowered towards mine. I could feel his
resolve melt away, the resistance to whatever was happening between
us collapsing. A giddiness enveloped me, and I had no idea if it
came from him or me. I didn’t truly care. His lips brushed mine
with a feather light touch, and my brain went silent. Putting my
hand behind his neck, I tipped my face up to him. His head lowered
again, and my door was pulled open. My eyes went wide, and I only
had a moment for a flash of fear before a firm hand wrapped around
my arm. With a small yelp, I was yanked to my feet. Suddenly facing
my father, I’d never seen him so pissed in my life.

TO SAY MY father was a thunderhead of
anger was an understatement. His eyes burned— not literally like
Xander’s, just the normal figurative way. He released my arm as
soon as I faced him and swept me into his arms in a crushing hug.
Then he bent down to the open door and addresses Nate.

“
You better come in,
Nathanial. This will affect you too. Were you aware of my
children’s detective work?” I heard the rumble of Nate’s voice
before Dad added, “Well you go ahead. We’ll be along momentarily.
Nancy’s making dinner and afterwards we need to figure out what’s
going on.” I watched Nate climb the back steps with trepidation. My
father rarely reprimanded me as I was growing up, but the few times
he did were always—memorable, to put it mildly. Nate shot me an
apologetic shrug and a patented smile as he opened the door,
leaving me alone with my very angry father.

Dad took me by the shoulders and
literally shook me. “Do you have any idea how foolish that was,
Amelia?” He held me at arm’s length, his eyes searching.

“
No, not really. Sariah is
incapable of crossing her legs, and Xander goes through girls the
way I go through socks. How is one little kiss so
horrible?”

“
Number one, it’s not the
same and you know it. Asking Sariah to abstain is like asking you
to starve yourself. And number two, things are different for gaia.
Your mother should really be the one to tell you this stuff. I’m no
good at it.” He shrugged at me, his eyes almost begging me to
understand.

“
Well she isn’t telling me,
Dad. And if you’re not going to either, you can’t be angry at me
for stumbling around in the dark! Either turn on a light for me or
leave me to it. But I will
not
be judged for not knowing what you won’t tell me!”
I was yelling in the end. I recoiled as the fact I just yelled at
my father sunk into my thick skull. I never stood up to anyone, let
alone my father. I braced myself for the consequences, but I
wouldn’t back down. This time I knew I was right.

My father looked at me with a newfound
respect. He pulled me forward and kissed my forehead. “I forget
you’re growing up, Amelia. And you’re right—we can’t expect you to
protect yourself if we don’t give you the proper tools. Don’t ever
kiss a boy unless you really mean it, girly. It’s not the same for
gaia as it is for the rest of the world. We are life partners—a
single kiss will seal you to a man for the rest of your
life.”

I touched my lips with my hand
remembering the feather brush of Nate’s mouth against mine before
my father yanked me out of the car, and I was filled with horror.
What if my father hadn’t come out and stopped us? My father smiled
at me, as if to soften the blow, and hugged me close with one arm
as we headed into the house.

The smell of Mom’s delicious roasted
chicken had me salivating almost instantly. I never really knew how
much trouble Mom went to making our meals seem normal while using
only organic materials. The two bad experiences I had with food
since I’d changed was all it took for me to yield to the fact that
I would never be able to eat in a restaurant again. It made me
wonder about all the trips out to eat over the years, and how my
parents dealt with it. I made a mental note to ask them about that
when things weren’t quite so tense.

I tried to question Xander with my
eyes, but I don’t know what I hoped to accomplish with it. He
merely shrugged and twisted his mouth a little. Forced to face Mom
and Dad’s wrath alone, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. What
were they doing here anyway? It suddenly dawned on me that if gaia
could sense each other’s emotions perhaps they knew something was
up all along. Had they ever actually left?

Putting it to the test, I rested my
head on my dad’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” I said, batting my
lashes at him. I felt very little coming from him, but I had a
vague sense of fear. It was nothing like what I could sense from
Nate, but I was definitely picking up something. Interesting. Was
he better at hiding his feelings because he was older? I had to
talk to my Mom and get some answers.

Dad patted my shoulder and gave me a
quick squeeze before stepping away. “You’re not in trouble, Amelia.
You don’t need to apologize. We just need to figure out where we go
from here.”

“
What happened after I
left?” I asked, turning to Xander. He opened his mouth, but Mom
held up a hand.

“
Hold that thought. Why
don’t you boys go set the table for me, give me a minute to chat
with Amelia. We’ll eat as soon as Sariah gets back.”

Mom gestured for me to sit at the
counter and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “I don’t know
what’s going to happen yet, but I think things are going to get a
little crazy tonight and this might be our last chance to talk. I
don’t want to leave you unprepared for whatever is waiting for us,
so ask all the questions you want.” My eyes met hers. It was like
looking into a mirror and seeing myself twenty years from now. My
mother's eyes were calm and peaceful, totally at odds with her
words. Why wouldn't we be able to talk again? Fear clenched inside
of me. What had I done? What had I forced my family into by not
minding my own business? We were all in danger and the fact that I
put us there made me very sad.

“
Is it possible for me to
know what’s coming? Or is it just dread?” I asked, my voice thick
with emotion.

Mom gave me a weak smile and took my
hand. I felt fear and more than a little sadness in her. “Trust
your instincts, Amelia. You’re not an oracle, but you should always
trust your heart and go with your feelings.”

“
Can I sense all gaia’s
feelings, or is it only certain people?”

“
All gaia, to varying
extent. Except…” She trailed off and shook her head. “It’s easier
with family, common blood and all that. You can kind of wall the
emotions off, but they’ll still leave a little trace.”

“
Then why can I sense Nate
so clearly?” Mom gave me a wary look as if gauging how much to tell
me and the frustration was back. “How can I be prepared for what’s
coming if no one is willing to talk to me?” I was proud of how
level I kept my voice, despite that fact that I felt anything but
calm.

Mom sighed, and I could tell she was
finally ready to lay it all on the table. “That’s something very
special and unique about gaia, Lia. We tend to be drawn toward each
other. Random circumstances shape our lives to bring us to our life
partners. As soon as I met Nate, I knew it wasn’t a coincidence he
was in the same place as you. You can sense his emotions because he
is meant for you, baby.”

“
Wait, meant for me? Like
my soul mate or whatever?” Mom just shrugged and shook her head.
I’d never bought into that one boy for every girl hogwash romance
novels spoon-fed me. But could there be a grain of truth in it?
“How do you know for sure? If I found another male gaia, would I be
able to sense him the same way?

Mom cocked her head and looked
thoughtful a moment, then pressed her lips together and shook her
head. “No, I don’t think so. I grew up in a colony of gaia, but
none of the boys there held any allure for me. As luck would have
it, nursing school drew me to the same college your father
attended. As soon as I laid eyes on him in the cafeteria, he became
a fascination for me.” She got a far-away look in her eyes, and I
knew she was back in the campus cafeteria staring across the sea of
people gazing at the man who would be my father. “I’ve never felt a
connection like the one we share.”

“
So what decides who each
of our life partner will be?”

Mom spread her hands and shrugged.
“Fate, best genetic match, random lottery… No one really knows. I
like to think it’s God’s hand. Do you remember what you used to
tell us all the time about Nate when you first met him?

I couldn’t speak, remembering my firm
declarations that I was going to marry him. I thought about how
lackluster all other boys were next to the glowing star that was
Nate. Then I thought about him almost kissing me in the car, the
sense of melting resistance in him. “Does he know? That we’ll bond
if we kiss? And if he’s already my life partner, what will bonding
change?”

Mom smiled. “I knew you got my smarts.
Since Nate’s parents died when he was so young, he grew up not
knowing a lot of this. Your father has had the heart-to-hearts men
need over the years with him. As for the difference the bond makes,
it’s big. So big we’ll have to save it for another day. Just know
for now, it is not something to be taken lightly or so young. I’ve
rarely heard of gaia meeting their partners so young, and everyone
I’ve heard of has been a sort of epic tale.”