Natural Beauty (6 page)

Bantu
Knots: Knots of hair made by wrapping the hair around itself.

~~~

Hair
tip#10: To get the most stretch possible, try Bantu knots on dry hair.

~~~

I
was trying out a new hairstyle when I went into work that evening. Yeah, I said
evening. It was 6pm on a Friday night but I volunteered to set up a profile for
a new customer. That meant I had to create a whole new online identity for
someone. Sure I could have worked from home, but I decided that actually
leaving the house on a Friday night would make me look less pathetic.

Anyway,
my hair was in Bantu Knots. I had parted my hair and put in eighteen of those
little knots of hair. The cool thing about them was when you undo them in the
morning your hair has an awesome wavy texture to it. The uncool thing is that
the knots themselves are not very attractive sometimes. But I decided to make
it work. I added a pair of big hoop earrings and dressed in my skinny jeans, a
pair of cork-heeled sandals, and a fat pattern tunic. The whole effect was this
hippy chic look. I kind of stole the style from Marin, but I looked pretty good
if I do say so myself.

When
I arrived at the office, I was glad that I spent a few extra minutes on my
look. Trent Bishop was there. That's not to say that I need to look good for
him or anything, but let's face it, you never want to look busted in front of
someone of the opposite sex.

"What
are you doing here on a Friday night?" I asked as soon as I stepped into
the office.

He
looked at me strangely. "I'm always here on Friday night. I have no
life." I expected him to laugh or something after that remark, but he
didn't. He was dead serious. "I like the quiet," he said after a
pause. I wasn't sure why he felt the need to explain further.

An
hour passed with neither of us speaking to each other. I decided to take a
break and snack on the cheese stick I brought. "Want some?" I asked
holding it up.

He
looked at me suspiciously for second. Did he think I poisoned it or something?
I guess he decided I didn't because he took it out of my hand and started
opening it.

So
then there we were sitting alone in an office nibbling on cheese sticks as if
we were kindergartners or something. Sitting in silence and eating seemed
stupid so I decided to start up a conversation.

"So,
you have no life," I said. "Me neither."

No
response. He just kept eating his cheese. It was awkward to say the least.
"So, no girlfriend or anything?
No plans to tie the
knot?" I don't know why I kept pushing him. Normally, I would have been
perfectly happy sitting in silence. I guessed I was just curious about him.
Even though he insisted that it "never happened", I still couldn't
forget about how he had concealed my crying in the bathroom. I just wanted to
know more about him. But from the way he seemed determined not to utter a
single word unless it was absolutely necessary, I was starting to think that
wouldn't happen.

"Most
people say love is blind," Trent said like ten minutes later. "In my
opinion, love is blind, deaf, and dumb." It took me a little while to
figure out what the heck he was talking about. It seemed so random, but then I
remembered that I had asked him about a girlfriend and tying the knot.

I
shook my head. "I swear
,
you are like a grumpy
little old man hiding in a young, sexy body."

"You
think I'm sexy?"

"What?
Huh?" Crap. Did I say that out loud? "Whatever. I didn't say
that," I said feigning confidence and indignation. "Stop trying to
change the subject. The point is why are you so angry at love? Who chewed up
your heart and spit it out?"

Trent
didn't respond. He stared at his computer for a long while. I thought the
conversation was over until suddenly he said, "April."

"No,
it's July," I said thinking he had completely lost his mind. I honestly
had almost forgotten what we were talking about. Fortunately, he continued.

"Her
name was April. The one who chewed up my heart and spit it out as you so
eloquently put it."

"I'm
sorry. I didn't know. I was just guessing."

Another
silence fell between us. Curiosity was eating me up inside. I really wanted to
know what transformed this good-looking and hardworking man into a bitter jerk
who was extremely difficult to be around. Finally, I said, "What
happened?"

"You
ever see those romance movies where the hero runs in and breaks up the wedding
of his love and they run off together to live happily ever after?"

I
nodded.

"Ever
wonder what happens to the poor
slub
left standing at
the altar? He turns into a bitter old man hiding in a sexy body as you so
eloquently put it."

"Ouch,"
I said. I didn't really know how to react to that. I had seen those movies and
I often wondered what happened to the other guy. I had always felt bad for him.
I never thought I'd be sitting next to 'that guy' at work one day.

I
pretended to type at my computer for a while. I needed to write a few pithy and
engaging blog posts for my client. But my heart really wasn't in it. All I
wanted to do was find out more about Trent and April.

"So
another man actually interrupted your wedding?" I asked finally.

He
nodded. "And now they're off living happily ever after and I'm stuck
paying half the bill for a twenty thousand dollar wedding and honeymoon that
never took place. That's where most of the money in that jar goes. I'm almost
finished paying off that honeymoon in the south of France."

Okay,
I had to admit, he had a pretty good reason to be angry at love. I think if I
was in his situation I would want to curse everyone out all the time as well.

I
had no idea what to say. He'd probably heard it all before anyway.
Carnece
with her wild and slightly violent self would
probably spend the next few hours coming up with ways to get revenge on April.
She would come up with something creative like hiding a dead fish in her car
seats or perhaps using her phone number in an ad for feet fetishes. Marin on
the other hand would try to find the bright spot in the entire situation. I
tried to go that route.

"Well,
at least you're only paying half," I said trying to help. From the way he
glared at me, I could tell it didn't work.

"I
just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years." I don't know why I told
him this. Okay, yes I did. I was trying to make him feel better.

"Why?"

I
didn't really want to tell him why. It sounded kind of ridiculous. But since I
brought it up, I couldn't really just leave him hanging.

"After
seven years, he bought me a house,” I said.

"Instead of an engagement
ring?"

I
looked at him. He got it. He understood.
"Yeah."
I went back to typing a few almost unintelligible sentences. I couldn't work. I
needed a man's opinion on the subject. I really didn't have any other men in my
life to talk to. There was my dad and my brother, but that would be like
talking to a pair of brick walls. Well-dressed brick walls, but brick walls
nonetheless. To them, every single thing in the world could be figured out with
a simple pro and con list.

"Do
you think I was too harsh on him? I mean, he did buy me a house. Maybe he
didn't know I wanted to get married."

"He
knew," Trent said not taking his eyes off of his computer screen. "Trust
me,
a man knows when the woman he's been seeing wants
to get married. Women are not the most subtle of our species."

I
tried to ignore how he just insulted half the population and thought about what
he said. Of course
Vinny
knew I wanted to get married.
Any idiot would be able to figure that out. He just bought that house to
placate me. He would never marry me.

My
throat tightened and tears threatened.

"Oh no.
No. No. No. No crying. I can't
deal with crying right now."

I
didn't look over at him but I could tell he probably had some stern, cold look
on his face.

"I'm
not crying," I lied as the first tears seeped out.

Trent
switched off his desktop, picked up his laptop case and stood up. "That's
it. Let's go."

"What?"

"Get
your iPad. You can work on the road."

"On the road?
Where are we going?" I
asked.

"Out.
I'm not going to sit here and
watch you cry. It's suffocating. We need air. Let's go."

"Okay."
I wiped away my tears, grabbed my iPad and followed him out of the office.

"Go
ahead and get your blogs written while I drive. You might want to take a nap,
too."

"Nap?
How long is this trip? Where the
hell are we going?"

"Hey,
watch your language before I make you contribute to the jar."

I
knew he was joking, but he didn't crack a smile.

I
thought I was too curious to fall asleep, but I was wrong. After I typed three
of four blog posts, I drifted off. When I woke up, we were at the beach.

"Perfect
timing," Trent said, shutting off the engine. He got out the car and then
walked around to open my door. "Let's go."

Slightly
delirious, I got out of the car and followed him down a slight incline. When I
caught up with him, he was lying in a patch of sand staring up at the dark sky.
The little area was surrounded by rocks. It was like a private, hidden beach. I
sat next to him and hugged my knees. It was kind of chilly.

"This
place makes me feel small," he said into the night, well, morning. He
scooped up a handful of sand and let it run through his fingers.
"Small, like one of these grains of sand.
And if
I'm
that small.
My problems are even smaller."

I
rested my head on my knees and let that
sentiment marinate
.
Normally, someone saying that your problems are no big deal would be kind of
offensive. But the way he put it, the whole grains of sand thing, it was kind
of beautiful.

"Did
you come here with April?" I asked.

Trent
shook his head. "She hates sand. And she thinks sea water ruins her hair
color."

Ironically,
I would have said something similar a few weeks ago. Getting sand or sea water
into relaxed hair or weaves is a nightmare. After spending $200 on a weave, you
literally protect that thing with your life. It was a huge waste of money and a
hassle to clean. But with natural hair it's not that big of a deal.
You just wash and go.

I
lay down in the sand and watched as the bright spot in the east grew larger and
larger. Trent took off his jacket and tossed it to me. "Here, you're
shivering."

The
next time I looked over at Trent he was sleeping peacefully. I never thought
that would be a word I would use to describe Trent. This was a whole other side
of him.

~~~

"Mahogany,"
Trent said when he had woken up.
"Mahogany Brown.
You realize your name means brown
brown
."

"Yeah,
I know.
Vinny
calls me Maggie. He thinks Mahogany
sounds too formal."

"Well,
I don't want to call you the nickname your ex uses."

"My
family calls me Michelle sometimes. It's my middle name."

"Ma-hog-any.
Any.
What about Annie? Does anyone call you that?"

I
thought about it for a second.
"Nope.
I can honestly
say that no one has ever thought to call me Annie.”

"Well,
then that is what I'm going to call you. Annie." He drifted off to sleep
again.

~~~

"Thanks,"
I said on the way home.

"Never happened."

I
remembered him using that same phrase when he caught me crying in the bathroom.
"Is that how you deal with things now? Anything uncomfortable you just
pretend it never happened?"

"Pretty
much," he answered.

"That's
no way to live life."

"Well,
it's worked for the past year and a half."

"So
that's it then? For the rest of your life you're just going to hate women,
love, and marriage or pretend they don't exist."

"That's
the plan," he said.

"Well,
that's a crappy plan."

He
looked at me as if waiting for me to continue.

"What's
that saying?" I asked finally. "Better to have loved and lost than to
never have loved at all."

Trent
rolled his eyes. Steering the car with his knees for a second, he took out his
wallet. After putting a dollar in his pocket he said, "I hate that
saying."