Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (54 page)

“I saw you after lunch with that . . . woman,” Kate said. “I was worried about how it might look to other people.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “We have an image to maintain, and it’s not proper for you to be gallivanting all over the island with someone else.”

Her words were so ridiculous he didn’t know where to begin.
“Gallivanting?”

She looked him in the eye. “You know what I mean. People will notice when you’re eating with another woman. It’s a small island—”

“I didn’t eat with Sydney.” Was that really what was bugging Kate? What everyone else thought? The notion sucked some of the air from his sails.

“Well, whatever. It’s not proper for you to be seen with someone like that.” Her lips, free of artificial color, pressed together.

Was she only concerned about her reputation, or was she hiding her jealousy behind its mask? “Someone like what?” he asked, curious to hear her answer.

“Someone like—You know what I mean. She isn’t exactly unattractive, and she’s . . . clingy.”

“Clingy?”

“Like socks out of the dryer,” she retorted. She tilted her head. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Lucas lost the tug-of-war with his smile. “You’re jealous,” he said.

Kate turned away, tucking in her shirt before grabbing the earring off the table and walking toward a mirror that hung over the armchair. “I’m concerned about my reputation.” She took the back off the earring and put it in.

“And that’s why you were spying through the vent?” It didn’t wash. If she were concerned about gossip, she would confront him, not eavesdrop.

Her eyes met his in the mirror. “I’m just trying to protect my career.”

He walked closer until he was behind her. “Is that what you’re telling yourself?”

Her hands fell slowly to her sides. In the light of the window to the side of the mirror, her eyes brightened to a caramel color. He wanted to get lost in there. Better yet, he wanted to climb behind those eyes and see what was holding her back.

Did she love Bryan still? He reviewed their kiss for the hundredth time and felt his confidence climb. A woman didn’t kiss a man like that when she was in love with someone else. Maybe she’d never been in love with Bryan.

All Lucas knew was she had some kind of feelings for him.

“Why are you so afraid to be honest with yourself?” he asked.

Kate stared back. “I’m not afraid.”

Her bravado seemed to have shrunk two sizes. He wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her, pull her against him as he had on the sailboat. But he had a feeling he didn’t dare move or she’d run.

“Why can’t you admit you’re jealous? It’s not a crime.” He found the courage to open up. Someone had to. “When Bryan called last week, I was jealous.”

Something in her face softened. Her lips parted to speak. Then, as if she thought better of it, they sealed again.

Why was it so hard to admit something was happening between them? They had almost ten more months together. Would it hurt to explore the feelings?

“There’s something here, and you know it,” he said.

She blinked, her eyes fastened on his for just a split second before she walked away. “Stop it, Lucas. Leave things as they are.” She stopped behind the barrier of the sofa.

Heaven forbid she let her guard down. “All neat and tidy, you mean?”

“What’s wrong with neat and tidy? Neat and tidy is simple and clear-cut, and nobody gets hurt.”

“Is that what’s got you worried?” Was she still nursing wounds Bryan had inflicted? Couldn’t she see he’d never forsake her as Bryan had? He always wanted to be there for her. To protect her. To cherish her. To love her.

“Nobody likes to get hurt.”

He held the image of her on their wedding night. Remembered the sound of her sobbing in that big empty bed. “I’m not the one who left you at the altar,” he said gently.

Kate wrapped her arms around her stomach. “Look, it just—It just won’t work between us. We’re too different.
Completely
in-compatible, for heaven’s sake. I’ve seen what happens too many times.”

Did she think feelings were planned? Scheduled and carried out like entries on her color-coded calendar? “There’s never been another you and me. You can’t compare us to some couple you counseled in your office.”

“I don’t have to look any further than my parents to strike a comparison.”

Something in her tone alerted him. “What about your parents?”

“They argued constantly. Good grief, they were like hot and cold, hard and soft, and whatever other opposites you can think of. I can still close my eyes at night and hear their bickering.”

It was starting to make sense now. Her passion for helping others find a compatible mate. Her parents had divorced, possibly damaging her greatly, and now she was out to save the world. “Is that why you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Counsel others. Help people find their soul mate.”

She rolled her eyes. “Huh. I don’t believe in soul mates. I believe in helping women find a compatible mate whose values and personality line up with hers.”

“All neat and tidy.”

“We can’t all live a messy, jumbled life.”

Is that the way she saw his life? Like a chaotic heap of garbage?

“It might not be pretty to look at, but I found love nonetheless.”

It was out before he could stop it. His heart skipped a beat.

The look on Kate’s face made him glad he’d risked it. The way her eyes widened ever so slightly before she looked down at her fingers curled around the sofa’s cushion. Was it awe or joy he’d seen before she looked away?

“I didn’t mean to disregard what you had with Emily. I’m sorry.”

Emily.
She thought he was talking about Emily. The disappointment was keen. Hadn’t he shown her his feelings these weeks they’d had together? Even if he hadn’t said them. Apparently, he’d been too subtle. Or she just didn’t want to see the truth.

She was waiting for his response. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, feeling like a fool. She didn’t want anything between them; she’d made that clear. Maybe he wasn’t the kind of man she wanted. Maybe she was waiting to be with Bryan.

For the first time he wondered if he’d ever be able to change her mind.

Don’t expect your man to change.
If you want something different,
find it elsewhere.

—Excerpt from
Finding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate

Chapter Twenty-One

The phone on Kate’s desk rang. She saved her column before answering.

“How’s my favorite author?” Pam, Kate’s publicist, greeted her.

“Pam! How are you?”

“Good, good. I wanted to update you on a few interviews I’ve scheduled. I e-mailed them to you a minute ago, but I have a last-minute opportunity, so I wanted to see if you were available. My contact from
Live with Lisa
called a few minutes ago, and they want to interview you tomorrow morning. They probably had a cancellation, and it’s a fabulous opportunity for exposure on cable TV.”

An interview on the popular program would be a boon. “That’s great. Let me check my schedule.” Kate pulled out her calendar. There were a couple appointments, but nothing that couldn’t be rescheduled. She was almost finished with her column and her
Glamour
piece.

“I can do it.”

“They intimated that Lucas would be welcome if he’d like to take part,” Pam said.

Kate doubted he would but said she’d mention it to him and get back to Pam.

The discussion turned to the other radio interviews scheduled for several weeks out.

“Is
Mr. Right
doing okay saleswise?” Kate asked. Rosewood had hoped it would make the
New York Times
list, but so far it had only appeared deep on the
USA Today
list. She was afraid they were disappointed with sales, and this far out from the release, it wasn’t likely to improve much, although an appearance on
Live with Lisa
wouldn’t hurt.

“The book’s fine. I know Chloe is eager for a new proposal.”

“I’m working on an idea. Once I have it nailed down, I’ll send it.”

After Kate hung up, she closed her document and gathered her things. She had to get home and pack because her flight would leave that evening. Unless Lucas agreed to participate, they’d be apart another night, but what would it matter? It seemed as if they were on two different planets since their confrontation in her office nearly a month earlier.

“You didn’t have to take me, you know.” She almost wished he hadn’t, since he’d dawdled around for fifteen minutes—after she’d rushed to pack and stowed her suitcase in the car. Now she was arriving later than she’d planned.

Kate grabbed for her suitcase handle, but Lucas reached it first. They walked toward the airport.

“I don’t mind.”

Her heels clicked against the pavement. After hurrying with the packing, Kate felt as if she’d forgotten something. She mentally checked off the necessary items to assure herself.

After she’d gotten off the phone with Pam, she’d gone to Lucas’s shop and told him about the interview.

“They’d like to have us both on, if you’d like to participate,” Kate said.

He’d lowered a tool, his eyes widening. The cliché of deer in headlights came to mind.

“Don’t think so,” he said before picking up a rag and wiping down a chest of drawers with a honey-colored stain.

“Why not? It might be fun.” And good for the public to see them together.

He gave the bureau one last swipe and stood back, looking it over. “Talking’s not my thing.” He set the cloth on the plywood table. “Words don’t come easy to me, like they do you.”

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted him there with her. Maybe getting off the island, away from the grind of life, would break the stalemate they’d had between them the past month. Ironically, she’d thought she’d wanted distance between them. But now that she had it, she was lonely.

“I’ll fill in the gaps,” Kate said. “You wouldn’t have a thing to worry about.”

“I can’t.”

Did he have work that couldn’t be put off? Or maybe he just wanted a break from her.

“Look, something happened when I was a kid. I was supposed to give a speech in front of my school. In a school assembly.” He picked up the rag and twisted it in his stained fingers. “I froze. Forgot everything I was going to say.” He wiped the top of the bureau again. “I haven’t talked in front of an audience since.”

Now, as he walked her to security, she imagined Lucas as a frightened little boy, paralyzed in front of his peers. He seemed so far removed from that little boy, so strong and capable. But she remembered his one request when he agreed to marry her:
“No interviews.”
It must’ve been hard enough for him to be in the spotlight as he had. But he’d done it for her.

And his parents,
she reminded herself.

As they approached the security officer, Kate remembered the first time he’d brought her here. Dahlia Stevens had been in line, and he’d kissed her good-bye. Today no one waited in security, and Kate noted the edge of disappointment that pricked her heart.

What is wrong with you, Kate?

What’s wrong? I want him to go with me. Want him to kiss me.That’s what’s wrong.

Lucas handed Kate the overnight case before they reached the balding security officer. “Kate . . .”

She checked her watch before meeting his gaze.

He shifted his weight. “When you get back, we need to talk.”

Something hardened in her stomach, gelling into a thick lump. She hated when people did that. Now, the whole time she was gone, she’d wonder what he wanted. The sudden fear that he wanted to end their arrangement left her speechless. What if he was tired of pretending? Tired of the awkward silence between them these last few weeks? She wanted to say she was sorry, but sorry for what?

“Is something wrong?” she asked instead.

Lucas waved her off. “Nothing to worry about.” He looked at her as if studying her features. She’d only be gone one night.
What’s going on?

He reached out and rubbed her chin with his thumb.

Kate stilled at his touch, feeling the roughness of his thumb all the way to her toes.

“You had a little something right there,” he said.

She remembered the globby grape jelly on toast she’d scarfed down on the way out the door and ran her finger over the spot, rubbing away the feeling his touch had left behind.

He scanned the area around them. Was he remembering Dahlia and wishing for an audience? The airport was quiet as a sepulchre tonight.
Where’s the media when you need them?

Kate wanted to run her fingers along the rough surface of his stubbly jaw. What would he think of that? Would he kiss her then, if she took the first step?

Lucas caught her staring. She was loath to leave him for a night. How had she gotten so accustomed to his company? She remembered how he’d irritated her when he was just her superintendent. How had he found a way through the cracks in her heart? How had she come to expect his presence, depend on it?