Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (63 page)

“Katie,” he said, his breath ragged. He pulled back, putting space she didn’t want between them. His eyes were deep shadows of longing, a mirror of her own. “Are you sure, honey?”

Kate pulled him close, kissing his jaw and the corner of his lips before he claimed her mouth.

Decisions made in the dark of night
must eventually face the light of day.

—Excerpt from
Finding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate

Chapter Twenty-Six

Morning light flooded through the windows, piercing Kate’s aching eyes. She checked the clock and realized she’d slept late. Yesterday’s shirt hung from the cone-shaped lamp shade.

The memory of the night before struck her like a rogue wave. She swiveled her head on her pillow and met Lucas’s gaze.

“’Morning,” he said. He lay on top of the covers in jeans and a T-shirt.

How long has he been watching me?
Her own nakedness under the covers made her squirm. Kate clutched the quilt, pulling it to her shoulders, reality slamming into her hard.
What have I done? We
didn’t even use protection. What was I thinking?

She was unaccustomed to waking with him in bed. Unaccustomed to what they’d done the night before. The two realities clashed, ushering in an awkward moment.

“You’re still here.”

He propped his elbow on the pillow, head in hand. “Just watching you sleep.”

She could get lost in those eyes again if she let herself. But she shouldn’t. Couldn’t. What sense did it make? She looked away under the guise of checking the time.

Daylight had chased away the shadow of desire, exposing the irrationality of her actions the night before. She’d let herself become swept up in her feelings for Lucas.

And yes, she admitted she did have feelings. Strong ones.

But he’s all wrong for me.
How could I forget that? Me, who wrote
an entire book on the subject? Maybe I am a hypocrite.

“Look at me, honey.”

Her stomach tightened at the endearment, the same one he’d used just before they’d—

Kate turned her head. Lucas’s cheek was pillow creased. She’d kissed that cheek the night before. Kissed those lips, run her hands over the sharp curve of his jaw.
Stop it!

“What’s going on behind those big brown eyes?” He brushed her hair from her cheek.

She flinched at his touch, wary of being swept into the tide pool of longing, and Lucas withdrew his hand, a frown pulling his mouth.

Kate needed time to think. Time to sort through her feelings. Time to get dressed, for heaven’s sake. She pulled the quilt to her chin.

“I just need . . . a little time, Lucas. Everything’s changing so quickly, I can’t wrap my brain around it. I need time to figure things out.”

The sparkle left his eyes. She wanted to say something that would light them again, but it wouldn’t be fair to offer false hope.

“Right,” he said.

She should say something. Something to soothe the hurt on his face, but nothing came to mind. Nothing honest. Not when her mind was a riot of confusion.

Lucas got up, the bed shaking in his wake. He cleared his throat. “I have errands to run anyway.” At the foot of the bed, he slid on his sandals.

“I didn’t mean for you to leave.”

He walked toward the door without looking back. “It’s okay.”

Moments later she heard the door open and shut. His truck roared to life outside, and Bo entered the room, his paws clicking to a stop beside her.

What had she done? As if life needed to get more complicated.
What was I thinking last night?

She’d been thinking with her heart, that’s what. The way he’d touched her, like she was the most precious object in the world. Even now, she shivered in remembrance. She’d never felt so cherished, so . . .

Loved.

Lucas doesn’t love you. He was a man, wanting what a man wants.

But it hadn’t felt that way. Hadn’t felt that way when she’d awakened and caught him watching her.

Stop it, Kate. You need to think with your head, not your heart. Be
smart. Listen to your own advice.

Forcing herself to move, Kate got up and showered, dressing in her favorite jeans and her royal blue shirt. It was Sunday and she wondered if Lucas’s family would welcome her to their family meal. Maybe she shouldn’t go. But she had to face them eventually, even if only to apologize.

As she poured her coffee, she heard a car pull into the driveway. Her nerves immediately clanged, like the wind chimes on the back porch on a windy day. She didn’t know what to say to Lucas yet. What they’d shared had been so intimate, and yet now, in the light of day, she knew it was a mistake. How could she tell him that?

Maybe he’s thinking the same thing.

The thought disturbed her. Hurt her feelings—which was ludicrous considering she felt the same way. She couldn’t even agree with herself.

Maybe a walk on the beach would clear her head. Through the kitchen window she saw the weather had calmed. It was no longer storming, just overcast and gloomy. The ocean was gray and choppy, its waves striking the shore with white foam fingers.

One thing she knew: she had to escape the island. There was no reason to prolong the marriage, and staying was too difficult emotionally. Obviously her feelings for Lucas had grown into something beyond her control.
If only we weren’t so different. If only we weren’t
completely incompatible, we could make it

Her heart ached for the chance to try.

But the memories of her parents’ arguments, their vicious battles over every little thing, stopped her, even if her experience as a counselor didn’t. She wasn’t going to waste her life forcing a round peg into a square hole. She’d watched too many people try and fail. She’d watched her parents try and fail. That wasn’t the life she wished on anyone.

A knock sounded at the front door.

Kate set down her mug and walked into the living room, peering through the window in the door. She prayed it wasn’t another reporter coming to get the scoop on her private—

No.

Through the glass, the top of a head was visible, but she would’ve recognized that neatly clipped brown hair anywhere. She paused, gathering her thoughts a moment before she pulled open the door.

“Bryan.” She hadn’t seen him since the eve of their wedding day. He looked older. Tired. Wrinkles and creases covered his dress shirt and slacks, like he’d slept in them. “What are you doing here?”

“Kate.” He heaved a sigh. Relief ? “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

She leaned against the door, keeping it partway closed. She’d expected to feel something if she saw him again. Longing, regret, anger. Something. The lack of emotion was a welcome surprise.

“I turned off my phone,” she said. “But I guess you can understand why.”

“I’m sorry I missed your call. So many reporters were trying to reach me that I turned mine off too. I just got your message when I got off the plane.”

“What are you doing here?” Had he come thinking he could comfort her? Help her? Maybe he had a plan to make this disaster go away. He’d always been clever. And her own plan had failed.

“We need to talk,” he said. “Can I come in?”

Kate looked across the street where two houses were visible from the front porch. It would be better than having Bryan seen on her doorstep. She opened the door wide and stepped back against the wall, giving him a wide berth.

Inside, she gestured him toward the sofa. She scanned the tiny, simple living room, seeing it through his eyes. It was a far cry from his contemporary city apartment. Bo appeared at his side, and Bryan inched away, but the dog only sniffed Bryan’s shoe before following Kate to the recliner across the room.

“I’m sorry it got leaked.” Bryan planted his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry about the interview on TV. It must’ve been very uncomfortable for you.”

Uncomfortable is hardly the word.
“Your girlfriend must be having a field day.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. It was a big mistake.
She
was a big mistake.”

Kate felt weary suddenly, like her bones might melt into the chair. “Let’s not go through this again, Bryan. What’s done is done. The main thing is that you can’t talk to the press. You haven’t, have you?”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He had some nerve acting as if he’d never hurt her. Kate stared him down until he looked away. “If anyone questions you, just say ‘No comment,’ okay?”

“Of course. I’ll do whatever you want. I owe you that. I owe you so much more than that.” His baby blue eyes shone under the lamplight. She’d once thought them beautiful, too pretty to be wasted on a man. Now they were a thin, cool sheet of ice, ready to crack under pressure.

“I know this is bad,” Bryan said, “Our personal business all over the news, your career—jeopardized. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Kate.”

His apology was sincere, his regret legitimate. Unfortunately it changed nothing.

But anger was futile. And even though he’d backed
out of their wedding, it had been her decision to marry Lucas.

“What are you going to do now?” Bryan asked. “Can I help in any
way?”

Kate shook her head. “I’m just going to hole up somewhere. My dad invited me to stay with him awhile, so I might do that. I need time for this to blow over, and time to rethink my career, if need be.”

Two notches formed between Bryan’s brows, and he shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs. “But what about—”

Kate realized her mistake too late. The public—and Bryan—didn’t know the particulars of her and Lucas’s arrangement. She’d never told Bryan the marriage wasn’t a real one.

“Your marriage,” he said. “It was just temporary? You’re leaving him?” The hope in his voice was a warning siren.

A sick feeling worked its way into her middle, churning her stomach the way the wind churned the waves outside. “I’m going to visit my dad for a while, that’s all.”

His eyes narrowed. “It was temporary from the beginning, wasn’t it? You never had feelings for him, never planned to stay married. It was just . . . a way out of the mess I put you in.”

There was a certainty in his tone, and Kate knew she wasn’t going to erase that.
He won’t alert the media, so what harm is there if
he knows?

“Yes, it was temporary, all right?” she said. “But that’s between you and me, and if you say one word to the press—”

Bryan extended his hands palm out. “I swear, I won’t.” He stood and crossed the rug, closing the space between them, dropping to his knees at her feet.

“Kate, do you know what this means to me?” He took her hands, pressing them between his own. The coolness of his palms, the shape of his fingers felt foreign against hers.

She pulled away. “It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t change anything.”

“You need to get away. Come with me. We can stay at my place in Aspen. I’ll take a leave of absence. You can figure out where to go from there.”

Kate pressed her back into the cushion. “No, Bryan. It’s over between us.” She knew as the words left her mouth that she meant them now as she never had. There was nothing left, no feelings for him.

Because they’ve been replaced by feelings for Lucas.
Kate shrugged the thought away.

“You don’t mean that. Just think. We could move anywhere you want. You could open a counseling service like you did here. We could have a fresh start.”

The thought of starting over was tempting compared to the months of uncertainty she faced, but she knew it was implausible. She was about to say so when the front door opened.

Somehow she’d missed the rattle of Lucas’s truck arriving. He stopped on the threshold, his hand on the doorknob. His gaze darted between Kate and Bryan. She imagined the scene from Lucas’s perspective and cringed.

Lucas’s heart stuttered at the sight of Kate and Bryan. He’d thought the unfamiliar car might belong to some nosy reporter and charged up the porch steps ready to confront the jerk who’d had the nerve to show up on their doorstep.

But it wasn’t some reporter who knelt on the floor at his wife’s feet. It was her ex-fiancé. The look of shock on Kate’s face at his entry would have been comical if it weren’t plain hurtful.