Nanny Behaving Badly (18 page)

The kettle shook as it came to the boil. A dark figure appeared in the doorway. Lyle. Barely dressed for decency.

‘Quite the nocturnal master chef, aren’t you?’ he observed.

‘It’s only tea. Want one?’

‘Do you often wander about in the dead of night? I should come downstairs more often.’ Lyle slipped his hands around her waist then laid his forehead gently against hers. Letting out a low groan that made her inwardly whimper back. ‘I couldn’t sleep either. This is killing me.’

She bit her lip. ‘Poor Lyle.’

‘The insanity pact is driving me nuts.’

‘What’s so hard?’

‘I am.’ Lyle took her hand and showed her. He pulled aside her robe and cami for easy access to her breasts. He smoothed and caressed her skin, dipped to her midriff. His eyes burned into hers as his fingers returned to circle her stiffening nipples. He’d got her to boil faster than the kettle.

‘Lyle …’

‘So I’m bad. Shoot me. I’m a red-blooded man and I’m crazy about you. Hanging offence?’

‘Oh, I’m sure I could think up much worse than hanging.’

Lyle slid his hands up her silky cami vest to unhook the buttons. He dipped inside to stroke one nipple. ‘Who needs sleep anyhow? When there are hours to kill ‘til morning.’

‘What are you doing?’

‘Demonstrating what you’re missing by evading the lure of my bed.’

Lyle gently dusted her throat with hungry kisses, then his tongue dipped between her lips. His mouth was fierce and ravenous. Maddie moaned as his fingers burned a fiery path down her body and she succumbed willingly. Why fight something this good?

Lyle yanked the robe down from her arms to land on the tiles. He kicked it away as his kiss made rousing demands and plundered her restraint. His mouth bewitched her. His fervour sent thrills multiplying and bubbling through her veins.

He pulled her vest top over her head then cupped both naked breasts. He worked the tips of her nipples with deft fingers. His touch was soft then sparing just to drive her wild. He circled the outer areola and teased the straining peak. He moaned encouragements against her cheek as he caressed her.

Lyle stopped to slide firm hands inside her silky shorts and pushed them down. The silk skittered past her knees and Maddie kicked them away. Lyle discarded his T-shirt and removed his shorts.

In seconds he moved between her legs – hard, hot and readied. His hands moulded her breasts as his head swooped to taste them. She rocked her head back as he suckled with a sinful tongue. His teeth traced exquisite torture.

‘I need you now,’ she demanded.

‘On my wavelength, honey?’

‘You’re a master negotiator.’

The straining tip of his manhood promised heaven at the apex of her thighs and made her move with frustration. She parted her legs to express her need. Wanting more, much more. She reached eager fingers down to slip around his penis but Lyle grasped her wrist. With a muffled curse he cupped her buttocks then lifted her flush against him.

‘Let’s go.’

Maddie clasped him with her legs as he carried her. ‘Where?’

‘Bathroom ... Pool’s too far.’

Lyle strode to the shower room – a large wet room, easily big enough for two. Still holding her aloft, he started the jets. He moved her against the smooth cool tiles, holding her pinned as if weightless. He entered her in one slow, steady move. Easing, then going deep as water soaked them in a sensory, wild rush.

Maddie widened and relaxed her muscles. His thrusts built as she wrapped him tight to take him to the hilt. Every pressure sent her higher.

She voiced her pleasure as every sense spiralled at her centre. The pace rose. Breathing hard into each other’s mouths, he filled her stroke after stroke.

Nothing had ever been this good, this fierce. His mindless desire unmasked thrilled her as much as his body did.

At last, climax came and they revelled in its power, entwined and joined. Maddie cried his name as her limbs shook.

‘I need you. Like this, every night. In bed … our bed,’ Lyle breathed as he scooped her spent body against him. ‘No more half measures.’

Perhaps it was the words or the look on his face? But sudden realisation left her reeling.

‘Lyle. No condom.’

There had been no protection. And neither of them had stopped to adopt good sense.

He said nothing.

Crazed, hot sex had turned into mindless foolishness.

His expression was matter-of-fact but he dipped his head to kiss her mouth.

‘You make me helpless to resist you. I’m sorry.’ Lyle looked down through the shower sprays and his eyes were dark as molten glass. ‘Maddie, I want you, you make me crazy.’

She couldn’t talk while her brain was still scudding with the idiocy of what they’d done. She’d had the best sex of her life but at a price.

‘We should’ve considered safety, Lyle.’

‘I don’t want safe. I want you.’

‘And to turn our lives upside down?’

For minutes they clung as water coursed over them. When Maddie raised her eyes, Lyle shook his head, then he switched off the water with a sense of disquiet.

Would Lyle always push for more?

Could she risk her heart on a man who ignored consequences while her trust had barely healed? They’d pushed Josh from the picture, blind to all but their hunger. No birth control. No caution. Impulse-fuelled abandon.

Maddie watched as Lyle picked up strewn nightwear in silence. Was his brain punctured too? If so, he didn’t voice it.

‘Busy day tomorrow. Best get some sleep,’ he stated.

She bit her lip completely freaked by the realisation that she could share her all physically. But some confidences could not be broached.

‘Get some rest, sweetheart.’ Lyle wrapped a towel around her shoulders then switched off the light.

He turned his back on their oblivion trip as they returned to separate beds.

‘Can I draw a picture for Mummy?’ Josh had determination in his gaze and a clutch of crayons in his hands.

The shocker question that had his mind whirring and his heart nursing the wound. Today there was something in his son's face he didn't recognise. An awkward lowering of his eyes.

Lyle feigned casual and placed his hands on the table and studied the blank page. ‘Sure, what kind of picture?’

Josh thought for a moment then pursed rosy lips. ‘I like trains and fire engines but I wanted to draw something more special.’

‘If you want to draw a fire truck, I know she'd love it. She’s in heaven now and she knows all the things you like.’

Josh picked up his sheet of stiff paper. ‘I want to draw Maddie. So Mummy knows you’ve found someone you like.’

Lyle’s shock had him floored but he controlled his reaction. Needle-sharp reprimands inflicted by his guilt stabbed his brain. He tried to keep his thoughts tethered and under control. ‘Is that worrying you, kiddo?’

‘Nope. I just saw you on the beach. You give Maddie lots of hugs.’

Anger stoked deep in the old rusty well of Lyle’s past regrets.

‘Friends can give other friends hugs. I used to hug your mummy. We loved each other lots. We always loved you.’

Had he pushed his foot to the floor too soon? Pushed things to the point where he’d obliterated caution?

A bucket of freezing guilt doused the buzz of his recent elation. But he was a flesh and blood man with needs. Why should he repress and avoid?

Because it's confusing the hell out of your son.

He smarted at the injustice, knowing that all this time he had to keep from Josh the jigsaw piece that Mum’s infidelity had caused the worst hurts.

Lyle looked at the stick woman picture emerging: Maddie in blue crayon. Lyle looking as uptight as any stickman could. Lyle cursed his lack of focus on Josh’s needs and his own primitive emotional crayon drawings in dealing with his family life.

Did Josh think he was getting a new mummy?

‘You like Maddie, don’t you, champ?’ asked Lyle. ‘We should both be happy that we’ve found such a special new friend.’

Maddie and Becca were polar opposites. Reconciled by the sky-high hopes of one small boy.

Lyle hunkered low beside his son’s chair to gently give him a ‘guys’ hug’.

‘That’s one great picture, champ. I care for Maddie because she looks after you well – so hugs are allowed. You’ll always be your Mummy’s special boy. You'll always be my champion son.’

Lyle suspected he'd just lost his hero dad status. Even in death Becca managed to strip his confidence. Two steps forward, five steps reverse. Emotional baby steps, taken in ill-fitting shoes.

The two weeks prior to Christmas were unsurprisingly crazy busy. Lyle worked flat out; the Winter Garden was at the epicentre of festivities, and Maddie’s Grassmarket Café had become the ‘in place to be’ since the launch hype.

Most of her current festive shopper customers were wholly intent on sampling gingerbread lattes and devouring Christmas cake slabs before rushing off on stocking filler quests. The Ice Café Two suited her; she loved the trendy locale and clientele.

Watching the bustling families, Maddie recognised pangs of longing to spend more time with Lyle and Josh. Being apart left a void, one that shouted for attention. It became most apparent when Lilia brought Lyle’s son to visit and her heart bobbed at the sight of his brimming Christmas joy.

She opened her arms wide to catch Josh. ‘Come, gimme a big hug!’

‘We’re going on the Santa Claus train later. Can you come?’

Maddie crazily wished she could be the one to show Josh those special things, she and Lyle most specifically.

It prompted her to pick up her cell phone right away. ‘Lyle, look, I know you’re busy and this is probably a really bad time – couldn’t we escape the cafés for an hour? Take Josh to see Santa Claus? He’d love it and so would we.’

The sound of Lyle’s voice down the line caused a distracting ache, an itching to drop everything and go see him. Snuggle close and tell him how she felt because inside now the emotions were brimming hard and strong. Perhaps it was the Christmas feeling getting her primed?

‘Let’s do it. Can’t wait to see you. Drop by around three.’

Which is how she found herself in Edinburgh’s most infamous, old-style department store, at its legendary Christmas grotto with Josh and Lyle. The über-high storey-climbing tree twinkled magically to the ceiling. A North Pole import-style Santa, complete with curled snowy beard, peered at Josh.

‘What would you like for Christmas, young man?’ Father Christmas patted his knee for Josh to climb onto.

‘A new fishing net for beach hunting with Dad and Maddie. A toy rally car with a blue stripe. I’ve been good, Santa.’

So he had. So had his father. Not just at bedtime.

Good in so many, many ways.

She admitted only to herself. ‘This is what family life should be like. This would complete me.’

Christmas in her youth had been a double-edged sword, with its fairy-tale scenarios at every turn. While her father’s workload never abated, and her Mom strived to make up for his deficiencies.

This year felt different. New leaf, New Year on the horizon, along with new growing love.

‘We’ve all been very good,’ Lyle stated to Santa as the merry man in scarlet passed over Josh’s grotto gift.

Walking down Edinburgh’s Princes Street on their way back to the market, revelling in the lights and scents, Maddie hugged close that brief special time.

‘Remember that Paula’s Christmas office party is on Saturday?’ she reminded Lyle.

He pulled his winter jacket close and quietly pushed his hand into the crook of her arm. ‘A night out with you. I won’t forget.’

‘Marco’s invited you to his at New Year. His party is a legend. Make sure Lilia updates the diary planner.’

Lyle whispered huskily, ‘Parties bring such possibilities.’ His eyes sought hers and glittered. ‘Mistletoe. Dark corners.’ His expression warmed her through better than any German Glühwein ever could.

As Maddie sipped her cappuccino in Lyle’s cafe at a rink side table with her ‘boys’, she tried not to watch the breastfeeding mother close by. The woman cradled her darling infant, stroking soft tender skin. A slow unsettling thought curled as she watched.

Was this magic short-lived?

‘Hey, Maddie. Dad says he’ll take me on the ice rink!’

She jerked her attention away from the tiny eyes, fists and kicking feet swaddled in its comforter.
No period.

It must come soon. She was never late. But a baby in the mix didn’t bear thinking about. Not yet.

Especially for Lyle – a man she was only just getting to know.

‘Beautiful isn’t it?’ Lyle remarked. Her heart slammed as she thought he’d caught her watching the infant. ‘Of course, I’m biased.’

‘The ice rink?’ Maddie feigned a smile to cover her whirring thoughts, averted her gaze.

Lyle took her hand. ‘Not the view, us. The three of us. Priceless.’

Christmas gift to Lyle equals baby?

Her inner twinkle shorted its fuse.

Maddie readied herself early for Paula’s party. She’d agreed to meet Lyle in the city centre for a meal before they went on together. She’d just finished pulling on her satiny deep berry red dress when there was a rap on the door.

Stefano stood on the other side, with a look that told of concern. ‘I heard your shower through the wall so knew you must be in. Didn’t want to miss you.’ His face was sullen, no glint of mischief this evening.

‘Now’s not a good time, Stef. I’m running late.’ Maddie motioned to the hair straightening irons that were hissing in her hand.

‘It’s urgent but I’ll make it brief. Too important not to share.’

She switched off the hair irons, even though she still hadn’t applied make-up and she was already way behind. She knew from experience Stef wasn’t the easiest guy in the world to dissuade.

‘Take a seat.’ Maddie busied herself combing her hair.

‘There’s something I want to ask. Maybe you already know? It came as a surprise to me so I wanted to talk to you in confidence. Preferably without telling Lyle Sutherland.’

Maddie’s wariness reactors engaged. ‘That sounds serious.’