Mystical Circles (40 page)

“But she doesn’t share his faith,” said Juliet.

“Doesn’t she?” asked Craig. “How do you know?”

She swallowed her sense of mortification. It was true. How
did
she know? Had Zoe shared all her feelings with her sister? No. Juliet began to see that in this, at least, Craig was correct. And she would not allow him to provoke or unsettle her, but only to love her.

As she thought this, he seized her and kissed her again.  And once more the euphoria arose. She could have stayed like this for hours. This impulse to hide her happiness from Craig and even from herself was a battle she knew she wouldn’t win.

Eventually, she broke away. When she’d regained her composure once more she spoke again. “Craig,” she said, “you talk of coming to terms with your past. OK. I’m happy about that. But what of your future? The Wheel of Love has stopped turning. What will you do next?” She felt a tremendous sense of relief that she had asked this question.

In response, he looked at her for a very long time. The space between them was not total silence. She could hear his breathing. “I’ll be like Zoe,” he said, “and see the light.”

She was baffled by this remark, even disturbed. Whatever did he mean? Zoe, perhaps, had seen the light by falling for Theo. But what could Craig mean by using this phrase of himself? Surely – her mind whirled – surely he wasn’t planning to change course completely and enter a monastery?

Craig pulled her to him again, and began to stroke her hair. She placed her hand on his, and stopped him. He looked down at her.

“See the light? How will you do that, Craig?” she asked. Just then, she heard someone step through the doorway. Together, they turned and faced Theo.

“Ah, Juliet and Craig,” said Theo in a benign tone of voice.

Craig held out one hand in welcome. But with his other arm, he still held Juliet. “Hello, Theo.”

The clergyman was once more wearing his black clerical shirt with dog collar, as he had done on the evening of his arrival. Zoe wasn’t with him. Yet that didn’t seem to matter. Theo emanated a strong sense of contentment and peace. Juliet struggled against a wave of different emotions – relief, gratitude, regret, hope…. Which of these were for herself, and which for Zoe and Theo, or Craig… or for Don, she didn’t know.

Theo addressed Craig. “I’ve come to say goodbye.”

Craig’s arms dropped to his sides. Juliet looked at him. His eyes were full of disappointment. “Are you off so soon?” he asked.

Juliet swung her attention back to Theo.

“Yes,” said the clergyman. “It’s time for me to go. I’ll lead that retreat for the Golden Chalice, and then consider my next move.”

“And Zoe?” said Juliet breathlessly.

“She’ll return to London with you, Juliet. But Zoe and I will be in touch daily. You can be sure of that.” He smiled. “Several times daily, I expect. About the future.”

“Your future together?”

“Yes, Juliet.” He took Juliet’s hands and held them firmly. “And although I don’t often give advice, here’s a piece of it now, for you. Follow your instincts and obey the promptings of your heart.” He inclined his head to Craig as he released her hands. “You’ve told Juliet, have you?”

“Yes,” said Craig.

They all looked at each other. Juliet hardly had time to consider how long Theo had known Craig’s life story.

“Stranger things have happened. Much stranger,” observed Theo. “Life has its exits and its entrances.”

As he said this, Juliet’s attention was caught by a flash of movement beyond the shrubbery to the eastern side. She’d glimpsed Oleg and Beth through the blossoms, trudging up the driveway hand-in-hand, rucksacks on backs. Where were they off to? And why now? Was the whole group drifting apart, in ones and pairs? Without saying goodbye? And where was Zoe? She began to panic.

“Time flows on,” continued Theo, “carrying with it all sorts of flotsam and jetsam: tragic deaths; amazing success; wonderful flowering; deep disappointments; betrayal.” He waited.

“What will you do after the Golden Chalice retreat, Theo?” asked Craig.

“I have a business plan to put to my bank manager,” said Theo, “and to a few philanthropic friends who have reason to bear me goodwill.”

Craig went on full alert. So did Juliet.

“I have a passion,” the clergyman continued, “to open a centre. It will have charitable status. It will be for the dispossessed, and those marginalised by low self-esteem and wounded histories. It’ll be a place of empowerment and conflict resolution. Don’t know yet when this will be. But it will be an open home where people in need feel free to ask for help. I want to be a person who never turns his back on the lost.”

“And Zoe?” asked Juliet.

“I’ve asked her if she’ll be part of it,” murmured Theo, “and she’s said
Yes
.”

“And…”  Juliet struggled to contain the tide of emotion threatening to overwhelm her at this news, “where will it be?”

“Again, I don’t know. Bristol, possibly. Birmingham.”

“Theo, tomorrow the Wheel of Love stops turning,” said Craig.

“Mmm,” said Theo. “Life is a continual process of loss,” he mused, “but by the same token it also brings new things – gifts, visions. I’ve found it to be so, anyway.”

Juliet studied him with quickened interest. A needle of light was beginning to twist its way through the mists in her mind.

“Visions?” she asked.

The clergyman nodded.

“Theo,” she said, “Was it you who came to dinner here?”

“Yes.”

“And saw the farmhouse as if from above?”

Craig and Theo exchanged glances.

“Yes, Juliet,” said Theo. “You realise now it was I who had that dream about this place.” He smiled sadly. “But it is not to be.”

Craig looked enigmatic. Juliet scanned both their faces, perplexed. What had been going on?

“Theo,” said Craig. “It could be.”

“How?”

Juliet looked from clergyman to group leader. She hardly dared breathe. Theo bowed his head. Craig took Juliet’s hand, and held it firmly in his.

“Because,” said Craig, “I want to give this place to you.”

Theo’s head snapped up again. “You can’t, Craig,” he said.

“Yes I can.”

Juliet swallowed, taking in air at the same time; and was overtaken by a violent fit of coughing. The conversation halted as Craig banged her on the back and Theo drew a tissue from his pocket and wiped the tears from her eyes.

When she was calmer again she said in a husky voice, “Do you realise what you said, Craig?”

“Yes,” said Craig.

“Give this property to Theo? Free?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“But Craig, it will ruin you. You heard what your father said. You’ll be bankrupt.”

“There are worse things. I can start afresh. With you, Juliet, I can do anything. And in this way, I’ll have peace.”

She opened her mouth to speak. But no words came out. Theo had been listening thoughtfully.

Now Craig touched Theo’s arm. The clergyman turned to him. “Theo, did you say you’ll have charitable status?” asked Craig.

Theo nodded. “You know, there may be ways through this which even your father wouldn’t quarrel with.”

A look of complete bafflement crossed Craig’s face. “How?” he asked.

Theo held his hand up. “All in good time,” he said. “You’ll need to cover your debts, Craig.”

“Yes. I acknowledge that.”

Juliet faced him urgently. “But Don will be gnashing his teeth up in Barnsley,” she protested. “And so will his board of directors.” Craig’s eyes met hers. They gleamed. His lips curved. She felt a strong desire to laugh, but just contained herself.

Theo remained quiet for a few more moments. Juliet was amazed that he hadn’t said, “Craig, you cannot be serious,” or “Are you out of your mind?” or anything like that. He simply bowed his head.

Juliet inspected Craig’s face. It shone. This time, she believed, she saw his true self. It was quite extraordinary. His proposal seemed ruinous, for him at any rate. She could only hope – and pray – that Theo would find a way through this financially, and avoid the mistakes Craig had made.

And yet, somehow, she believed he would. Whatever the outcome might be, Craig’s face said he understood the implications of his offer; this was his decision, and it was the right thing to do. She kissed him, slowly, seriously – and then turned back to the clergyman.

“With the grace of God, Don will agree to this,” said Theo. “And, Craig – with strong financial management, I promise I’ll enable you, eventually, to cover your debts.”

Juliet found her hand in Theo’s. And he now offered his other hand to Craig. They all three stood there, hands clasped. She felt as if a pact was being sealed.

Time passed. No-one spoke. But Juliet thought how curious it was that her sister, whom she’d wanted to take away from this house, would now be staying there for ever.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I wish to thank the following people who gave guidance, editorial feedback and encouragement at many different stages of this journey; Marie Calvert, William Connelly, John Costello, Hilary Johnson, Jeannie Johnson, Rev James Lawrence, Victoria Lee, Liz Obee, Fay Sampson, and the members of the Kenilworth Writers Group. Also many thanks are due to those who helped me with research: Moira Rawlings on freelance journalists; David Calvert and Simon Chapman on Yorkshiremen and Welshmen respectively; Rev Sharon Jones and Rev Ellie Clack, and ordinand Nat Reuss, for being willing to answer my questions and give me deeper insight into Theo. Thanks are also due to the members of the local community mental health teams in Leamington Spa whose dedicated work with their clients taught me so much, contributing in no small measure to my understanding of certain characters in this story. Inevitably others too deserve my thanks; they are the people who gave me moral support – you have all played your part in keeping me going, by being interested, by asking me about my novel, by promising to buy it when it’s published, and by helping me believe in myself as a writer. Thank you to all of you.

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