My Werewolf Professor (20 page)

Alessandro’s jaw hardened as Kassia’s hand remained in the boy’s grip.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He couldn’t remember wanting anything as much as he wanted right now to snatch Kassia away from the human boy.
 

Kassia was his.

He cracked his knuckles, reminding himself that for the sake of appearances, he shouldn’t indulge his need to beat the boy into a bloody pulp. All he could afford to do now was to speak to Kassia, make her see—

Alessandro’s head snapped up.

It was that scent again.

Their eyes clashed once more. She looked away just as quickly, but it was too late. He had already seen her tears.

He had made her cry again.

Before Alessandro could even think about it, he was already slowing down. The distance between him and Kassia stretched. He watched Jacob assist her as she stepped aboard the bus, and he stopped walking completely. He could still smell her tears, and the knowledge that he was the reason for it pierced him.

Kassia found herself embarrassingly clumsy as she made it to her seat. Jacob took the seat next to her, and his nearness made her unconsciously stick closer to the side of the bus. Without thinking, she looked out of the window, and of course the first thing she saw was the professor. He was gazing at her, his handsome face unreadable.
 

Her heart ached.
He was so beautiful
, she thought miserably. Wasn’t that a clue in itself? That someone like him could never really be serious with someone like her, an ordinary girl from the country, someone whose own mother hadn’t cared about her?

The professor suddenly turned his back to her.

This was for the best,
she told herself fiercely. She had to be strong. Even if he begged her to come back, she wouldn’t—

In the distance, the professor started walking away, and her thoughts came to a halt. Her heart stopped beating, her mind stopped working – there was just so much pain as the inescapable truth hit her.

See, Kassia?
 

Now, do you understand?

Your mother didn’t want you. So why did you think the professor would?

She squeezed her eyes shut before the tears could fall.

Stupid Kassia.
 

This was how little she meant to the professor.

****

You’re doing the right thing.

Five damn words, and he had been repeating them endlessly in his mind. Minutes turned into hours, but still he couldn’t make the truth in those words sink in, couldn’t shake off his last sight of Kassia. Her eyes squeezed shut, her body tense in the bus seat, and sitting so damn close to Jacob he was fucking sure that the human boy had to be shaking in excitement at how soft her body felt against his.

But even as jealousy threatened to drive him insane, Alessandro knew that wasn’t what was causing his restlessness, wasn’t the reason why he had been prowling inside his office in his Lyccan form since Kassia had left.

No, what was bothering him the most was the scent of her tears.

He had made her cry again, and even though he told himself it was for her own good that he was getting out of her life, he just couldn’t make himself forget.
 

He and Kassia were from different worlds, and his was fraught with danger and death. She trusted too easily and felt too much while he had learned to forbid himself to love. She deserved someone uncomplicated, not someone like him, a man incapable of trust.

Those were the facts.

Those were the reasons why walking away from her made it the right thing to do.

So why the hell did he still think he had just acted like a goddamn idiot?

His phone buzzed, and he couldn’t snatch it off the desk quickly enough, his heart thudding against his chest at the thought that it could be Kassia.

And it was.

Kassia:
Thank you for everything, Professor.

Alessandro’s face whitened.
 

Just five words again, and yet this time its impact was a thousand times worse.

Five goddamn words, but they created a sense of desperation inside him like they heralded the end of the world.

And for him, this was exactly like it.

Kassia was saying goodbye to him, and it was like having the truth slap him in the face.

He hadn’t walked out of her life because it was better for her.
 

He had walked out of her life because it was better for
him.
The whole fucking time, he had blown hot and cold with her like an asshole. Over and over, he had made her fall for him only to push her away like a fucking coward, turning tail and running the moment things became too deep between them.

He…loved her, but he had blinded himself to his feelings, denying their existence in fear of turning into another Domenico.

And now…

It might just be too—

Alessandro didn’t allow himself to finish the thought. It was not going to be too late. It was
not.
 

****

“It’s the professor again,” Jacob suddenly said under his breath. They were having lunch at one of the park’s on-site restaurants, their easels propped next to their table, and their works-in-progress temporarily put on hold.
 

She wished she could think he was joking, but of course she couldn’t. A ripple of excitement had jolted the crowd, and around her, the other girls had once again started babbling about the professor. Over and over, she heard his name—

Professor Moretti.

She wanted to cover her ears so she would no longer hear it.

It hurt too much.

Suddenly, he was there, the professor standing next to her table and Jacob’s. She forced herself to look up, and the pain at seeing his beautiful face was so tortuous it actually turned into numbness.

Kassia’s pale face and terrifyingly unreadable eyes made Alessandro stiffen in tension, but even so he fought to keep his voice level as he spoke. “Ms. Summers? I’m afraid I’ve received a call from your family. If I may speak with you privately?”

Kassia only nodded. “Yes, Professor.”
 

Her voice was so damn stiff, he was torn between wanting to shake her and kiss her into showing some sign – any sign – of life. But because all eyes were trained on them, and to those people he was only her professor and Kassia his student, Alessandro could only be stiff as he said, “Please follow me.”

He led her to a private office inside the park, something he had called ahead for to make sure it was available for his use. He held the door open, and Kassia wordlessly stepped inside. He followed behind her, closing the door, and when he faced Kassia again, he found her still pale, her eyes blank, her body rigid.

“I’m sorry.”

The professor’s tone was almost…raw, and she panicked. Tearing her gaze off him, she desperately kept her eyes glued to the floor while telling herself that she had probably imagined it.

Alessandro fought to remain in control even as Kassia’s continued silence made him feel even more frantic inside. He would find a way to make her understand this was the last time he was going to hurt her. He had to.
 

When Alessandro started walking towards her, the urge to run away became stronger and her body started to tremble at the effort it took just to keep still.

“Kassia.”

She dug her fingers into her palms, using the pain to distract her from the bittersweet sound of his voice saying her name.
 

“Kassia, look at me, please.” When she remained unresponsive, he could no longer keep himself from reaching for her. He cupped her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Just like that, and tears started to prick her eyes. Why was she so darn helpless against this man?

“I’m sorry I made you wake up alone again.” His voice was hollow but determined. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer your calls again either. But I swear, Kassia, I had a reason—”

Her sense of hurt and injustice grew with each word, and she started to crack. “What is it going to be this time?” she asked unevenly. “Perhaps it’s your brother’s turn to have an emergency?”

Alessandro drew a ragged breath, knowing he would be better off lying but also unable to. This time, he wanted everything right between them.
Everything.
This time, he was ready to share the truth with her.

“Yes.”

Her jaw dropped. “
Excuse me?”
Surely Alessandro didn’t think she was
that
stupid to buy the same excuse?
 

“It
was
my brother who—”

“Are you freaking serious?” she cried out. “Can’t you even be more creative? Or even realistic with your lies?”

Alessandro shook his head. “It is no lie. My brother needed my help—”

“In the middle of the night? What kind of help did he need?” Bitterness assailed her. “Did it involve another woman and a quickie?”

“No!” Alessandro was aghast at the turn her thoughts had taken, but of course he knew he only had himself to blame for it. “Kassia, listen to me—” He tried to take hold of her shoulders, but she struggled against him violently. “Kassia, dammit, I don’t want to hurt you—”

“You’ve been hurting me from the start!” Her voice broke, her control snapped, and she started to sob. “I don’t understand what you want from me.”

“I’m sorry.” He wanted to haul her into his arms, but the way she had furiously struggled left him powerless while he watched Kassia drown under all the pain he had inflicted on her. His voice thickened as he repeated the words. “I’m sorry, Kassia.” He held her gaze captive, willing her to see that he meant it. “But if you give me this one last chance, I swear I’ll never hurt you—”

She was already shaking her head before he even finished, and desperation ate at him. “
Kassia
. Give me one damn chance—”

But still, she shook her head. “I don’t think you ever mean to hurt me,” she whispered. “But I also don’t think you’ll ever be capable of loving me—” She stopped, her gaze searching, and again she was wearing her heart on her sleeve.

He knew then. He only had to say those three words, and she would run back to his arms. He wanted to say the words, but they eluded him. It was as if the words made up his last wall of defense against heartbreak, and even now, he couldn’t completely rid himself of the fear that love would force him to his knees the way it had with Domenico.

A sob suddenly escaped Kassia, and his gaze jerked back to her.

Her face was ravaged with pain, and Alessandro whitened, realizing that his silence had made Kassia think he didn’t love her still.

“Kassia—”

“Don’t bother explaining.” She choked back another sob.

“It’s not like that, baby.” He tried reaching for her again.

“Don’t touch me,
” Kassia screamed.

Alessandro froze.

Kassia trembled, horrified at how she had completely lost it. “S-sorry.” She was drowning with humiliation. She had just given herself away, had just let Alessandro know how much it had meant to hear the words and how much it devastated her to realize that Alessandro was incapable of saying them.

She closed her eyes. “You have to let me go now, Professor. I don’t want to…” She forced another sob down before it could claw out of her throat. “I need to learn how to move on—”

“I don’t want you to move on,” he gritted out.

Her eyes flew open. “Then what
do
you want?” she demanded painfully. “That I just be content at warming your bed—”

“No, goddammit! You’re not like that – you were
never
like that—”

“Liar!” God, what kind of a fool did the professor think she was? She tried to shove past him, but he caught her wrist and whirled her back to face him. “Let me go,” she screamed.

“
Never
,” Alessandro rasped out. “Listen to me, Kassia.” He cupped her face and forced her to look at him. “It was never like that between us. You were and
are
the only one I want in my life—”