My Very UnFairy Tale Life (9 page)

Chapter 15

On Monday morning, I woke up to the smell of pancakes. I was still in a bad mood from everything that had happened with Melissa and Trish the other night, but this was Prince Lamb's first day of school and I was determined to make it a good one. I threw on some clothes and rushed down to the kitchen. Prince Lamb was already at the table, stuffing his mouth full of breakfast.

“Good morning!” said Aunt Evie. She had a muskrat perched on her head and another one on her shoulder as she set a pancake-filled plate in front of me.

“These smell good,” I said. My aunt rarely remembered to cook more than one meal in a row. Having the prince around definitely had its advantages.

“And they're crunchy,” said Prince Lamb.

“Crunchy?” I inspected one of the pancakes and found something that looked suspiciously like a pellet of rabbit food. I shrugged and poured a bunch of maple syrup on top before digging in. It tasted pretty good.

“Are you excited about your first day at Jenny's school?” Aunt Evie asked.

“Absolutely,” said Prince Lamb. “But I doubt it will be as much fun as spending time with those two muskrats.”

Aunt Evie giggled as she scratched the animals' heads. “They're a feisty duo,” she said. “I just hope I can help them work through their sibling rivalry.”

“How close are they in age?” asked Prince Lamb.

“Well…” Aunt Evie launched into a long explanation of the difference between muskrat years and people years.

I stared as the prince and my aunt chatted away as if they'd known each other forever. I couldn't remember a single time I'd talked to my aunt about her job. It had always seemed so foreign to me, just as school seemed like another world to Aunt Evie.

After breakfast was done and Prince Lamb and I had helped clean up the kitchen, it was time for school.

“Ready for your first day?” I asked.

“Of course!” said Prince Lamb. He grabbed the old schoolbag I'd lent him (he wasn't bothered by the pink hearts and purple stars), and we headed to the bus stop.

“If you don't stop grinning like a fool,” I told him, “you're going to get beat up.”

“Bleat up?” asked the prince.

“
Beat
up,” I said with a laugh. “Meaning picked on. All the girls might swoon over you, but I doubt the boys will.”

“Don't worry,” said Prince Lamb. “I've been trained in the art of charming people since birth. That is what princes do, after all.”

When we got to school, I brought Prince Lamb to the front office, praying no one would ask too many questions. I shouldn't have worried. Prince Lamb's charm went into full swing. Within a few minutes he had a class schedule and something like a lunch date with the secretary.

“Aren't you just the nicest boy?” she said, shaking her head in wonder. “If only all the boys had your manners!”

Prince Lamb beamed.

“You hang on to this one,” the secretary told me with a wink. I blushed. “Have you had a chance to see your grandfather?” she added.

I shuffled my feet. “Not really.”

“I know it's easy to forget about your grandparents when you're young. But I'm sure it would brighten his day to see you.”

“Yeah,” I said, pulling Prince Lamb away.

“Who was she talking about?” he asked when we were out in the hallway again.

“Dr. Bradley.”

“You miss him, don't you?” Prince Lamb said with a sympathetic look.

In a moment of weakness the day before, I'd told the prince all about what had happened with Dr. Bradley. Now I regretted ever opening my mouth.

“No,” I said. “All he did was lie to me. Why would I miss that?”

“I'm sure he had no choice,” said Prince Lamb.

“People always have a choice,” I said, sounding like a character out of a bad movie. I tapped the side of my head, hoping to finally shut off the corny chip in my brain. Then I turned to Prince Lamb. “Ready for class?”

The prince nodded, and for a moment he looked like an eager sheep. Then he pushed up his cuffed sleeves, and he was more boy-suave than ever.

When we walked into the loud classroom, it went instantly silent. Everyone watched as the prince and I sat down. It reminded me of the first time I had seen the inhabitants of Speak, with their wide, examining eyes.

Trish and Melissa were whispering together in the corner. They didn't even bother looking my way, and I didn't blame them. I wouldn't want to be friends with a big, fat liar either.

“We have a new student joining us today,” the teacher said. “His name is…Prince Lamb?”

The prince shot up from his seat and trotted to the front of the room. “That is correct, madam,” he said. “I am Prince. And it is a pleasure to make all of your acquaintances.”

All eyes in the room stared back at him in surprise. There went his chances of ever being accepted.

“I have recently moved here from, er, California,” the prince went on. “I like spending time out of doors, especially taking long walks through grassy fields. I am very fond of all types of music, enjoy trying new things, and am an excellent listener.”

There was dead silence as Prince Lamb went back to his seat. I could almost hear people's brains churning.

Then, to my utter surprise, I saw dreamy smiles spread across the girls' faces. Meanwhile, the boys were sizing the prince up like he was their competition. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. If they only knew he was going to grow up to be a sheep!

Finally, it was lunchtime. I gripped my bagged lunch tightly and made my way over to the table I'd shared with Trish and Melissa the previous week.

“Hi, guys,” I said.

They looked up at me but didn't say anything.

“I don't blame you for being mad. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.”

Melissa chewed on her lip. “We don't forgive you,” she said. “But we have a question.”

“Okay.”

“All the girls have been asking about Prince,” said Trish. “Do you know if he has a girlfriend back home?”

I fought back a smile. “I don't think so.”

Trish and Melissa exchanged excited looks. Then they turned their noses away from me.

I sighed and went over to an empty table in the corner of the cafeteria. Back in my adventurer days, I'd mostly sat by myself and hadn't really minded being alone. So why did it feel so awful now?

As I took out my sandwich, Prince Lamb emerged from the lunch line with a tray balanced in his hands. He was surrounded by a group of the most popular boys in the entire school. I could only stare as they worked their way over to my table.

“Jenny,” said Prince Lamb, leaning in to whisper in my ear. “Is it all right if these fellows sit with us?”

“Um, okay. You sure make friends fast.”

He gave me a devilish grin. “They seemed impressed with my ability to eat an entire stack of napkins.”

“You're kidding.”

Prince Lamb raised his eyebrows mysteriously. “Lads, do you all know Jenny?” he said to his group of followers. “She's, er, my cousin.”

“Hey.” I tried to pretend like I hung out with popular boys all the time, but the crazy smile on my face probably gave me away.

A few of the boys gave me polite nods as they sat down, but most just ignored me. Clearly, they were only interested in new kids who could eat stacks of paper products.

“Prince, how do you get your shirt to look like that?” one of the boys asked.

Prince Lamb glanced down at his perfectly cuffed sleeves. “It's simple, really.” He did a demonstration while all the other boys leaned in, studying his every move. They reminded me of a flock of sheep. Maybe that was why they'd taken to Prince Lamb so quickly.

I knew being jealous was silly, but it just didn't seem fair. From the second Prince Lamb had set foot in my world, he had managed to do everything right. Aunt Evie paid more attention to him than she ever had to me, and Prince Lamb was more popular after a few hours than I had been my entire life. The prince had asked me for help, but the truth was he didn't need it at all. In fact, he was better at being normal than I'd ever be.

Chapter 16

“Are you sure you don't want to come get ice cream with us?” Prince Lamb asked after school a few days later. “It'll be fun.”

Over the prince's shoulder I could see his entire flock of friends glaring at me. They didn't want me to come with them; they just wanted me to stop hogging their new fearless leader.

“I have a lot of homework to do,” I said. I knew he was only inviting me out of pity, and I had no desire to be the loser tagalong “cousin.”

Prince Lamb gave a little shrug and headed over to his herd of friends. He couldn't seem to quit being a ruler no matter where he went. I was disgusted to see that all the boys in the group now wore their shirt sleeves cuffed just like Prince Lamb.

I hopped onto the school bus and settled into my usual seat. Had being a regular girl been this hard before I'd become an adventurer? I didn't think so. But then again, all the things that made me a good adventurer had been okay when I was younger. I'd always had a big imagination, running around the neighborhood on made-up missions. And I'd loved taking charge and telling people what to do. But if I tried to do any of those things now, the other kids would think I was a bossy weirdo.

I would just have to find some other way to fit in, I decided. Would it be wrong to crack open my treasure chests and pay kids in gold pieces to be friends with me?

As the bus sputtered through my neighborhood, my glazed-over eyes suddenly widened in disbelief. I leaned forward and stared out the window.

Dr. Bradley's house, always dark and gloomy, suddenly looked bright and cheerful. The trash piles were gone, and someone had painted the door and shutters lollipop pink. A gardener was ripping out tangled weeds and replacing them with tulips.

The moment the bus came to a stop, I raced down the street.

“What are you doing?” I yelled at the startled gardener.

“Just got hired to clean this place up a bit,” he said. “Before the new people move in next week.”

“What people?” The feeling developing in my stomach was almost as sickening as the new door color.

“I don't know,” the man answered with a friendly smile. “But I hear they have kids. Maybe you'll have some new friends in the neighborhood.”

My knees went wobbly.

“You okay?” the gardener asked.

“No,” I said. Then I turned and fled back down the street.

What had I expected? That Dr. Bradley would keep secretly living in the house and watching over me?

I stopped in mid-step. That's exactly what I'd thought. As much as I wanted to pretend I was happy with Dr. Bradley out of my life, a part of me hadn't believed he was really gone. But now there was no denying it. Some happy, bubbly family would be coming to take over his house, and I would have to watch them all pile into their minivan, decked out in “I heart mini-golf” T-shirts.

The thought made my feet start up again. I went faster and faster until I was almost running. I unlocked the front door of Aunt Evie's house and threw it open, ready to bolt up the stairs and fling myself onto my bed.

But Aunt Evie was standing in the hallway, an iguana cradled in her arms. “Jenny,” she said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

I slammed the door shut behind me. “I live here, remember?”

“Well, of course, you live here,” said Aunt Evie. “Where's Prince?”

“Off with his friends.”

“Oh good.” She smiled. “He's a sweet boy. He deserves nice friends.”

“And I don't?” The words were like venom coming out of my mouth.

“What do you mean?” asked Aunt Evie. “You have friends. What about those girls who came by last week?”

“They're not my friends anymore, thanks to you. If you hadn't told them the truth about my parents, they wouldn't hate me right now.”

Aunt Evie blinked. “What was I supposed to tell them?”

“I don't know! But you ruined everything!”

“I'm sorry…I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn't, because you don't know anything about me. You care more about Prince than you do about me!”

Aunt Evie's mouth fell open. “That's not true.”

“Don't even try to deny it!” I said. “You wish I was more like him but I'm not, and there's nothing I can do about it.” I pushed past Aunt Evie and darted up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door shut and threw myself on the bed. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably for the first time in years. The last time had been on the day Aunt Evie had come to get me from school and tell me that my parents were missing. I felt just as alone as I had that day…and just as hopeless.

•••

That evening, as I lay spread out on my bed tossing my pink mini-golf ball up in the air, there was a gentle knock on the door. I'd been locked up in my room ever since the fight with Aunt Evie. I wasn't mad anymore, just tired and sad and hungry.

“Jenny?” Prince Lamb's voice came through the door. “Can I come in?”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't hide forever. “Okay.”

The door creaked open, and the prince popped his head in. He took a few hesitant steps into my room, like he was afraid I'd claw his face off.

“It's all right,” I said, putting the mini-golf ball on my nightstand. “Sit down.”

Prince Lamb perched on the edge of my bed and gave me a sympathetic smile. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I guess. Aunt Evie probably told you what I said to her.”

“She didn't go into details, but she seemed rather upset.”

I wouldn't have been surprised if my aunt hated me for what I'd said. Yes, Aunt Evie could be distracted, but she did the best she could. It wasn't fair for me to yell at her like that.

“What happened?” asked Prince Lamb.

“I don't know. I guess I was just fed up with everything.”

“Like what?”

I thought for a minute, trying to find a way to explain. “Well, when I first became an adventurer, I thought my life would be great. But then things didn't turn out the way I wanted. So I thought becoming an average girl was the solution. But that didn't work out either. I'm just not good at being anything, I guess.”

“That's not true,” said Prince Lamb. “You're good at
everything
.”

“Um, hardly.” My only talent these days seemed to be messing things up.

“Jenny, you're one of the bravest creatures I know. And you're good at solving problems.”

“Maybe other people's, but not my own.”

“What sorts of problems?” said the prince.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. “Like the fact that no one likes me,” I said. “Don't even try to deny it. I've lived in the same house as Aunt Evie for years, and I think she's talked to you more in the past few days than she's ever talked to me.”

“If that's true, it's not because she likes me better,” said Prince Lamb, shaking his head.

“Yes, it is. You're just likeable.”

Prince Lamb laughed. “Trust me, it's all an act. If you wanted to, you could do it too.”

“How?”

“Well, your aunt's not comfortable around people. I could see that when I first met her. But she loves animals, so I asked her about them.”

“I don't know anything about animals,” I said.

“And your aunt doesn't know anything about being an adventurer or being a twelve-year-old girl. But that doesn't mean you can never speak to each other. You just have to meet somewhere in the middle. Ask her questions. Take some time to familiarize yourself with her interests.”

“You sound like an advice column.”

Prince Lamb laughed again and pushed up his shirt sleeves. “Ribba did have me read a few of those as part of my makeover. But this isn't something I learned from a magazine. It's what I've had to do my entire life as a prince.”

Could he possibly be right? For years I'd been afraid that the real reason Aunt Evie didn't know how to talk to me was because she didn't like me. What if she saw me as a burden her brother had dumped on her? But maybe Aunt Evie just had no idea how to relate to a girl like me.

“I guess I could try to take an interest in her patients a little more,” I said. “As long as they don't try to pee on me.”

“I think that sounds reasonable,” said Prince Lamb, getting to his feet. “Your aunt had some work to finish up tonight, but she left dinner out for you in case you're hungry.”

I stood up, surprised at my sudden urge to hug him. I guess we really were friends. “Thanks,” I said. “For everything.”

“That's what friends are for,” said Prince Lamb with a cheesy smile.

“Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to say stuff like that!” I said, jokingly elbowing his side.

“Hmm,” said Prince Lamb, pretending to think it over. “Maybe I should become an adventurer.”

I couldn't help laughing as I followed Prince Lamb down the stairs. “Don't let Anthony hear you say that. He'll come whisk you away!”

I tried to laugh again, but thinking about Anthony made something stab at my chest. Missing him and Dr. Bradley was pointless. Yes, they'd been big parts of my life for years, but all that was over now. It was time to finally move on.