My Sister's Best Friend (Best Friends 3) (4 page)

He blinked, then blinked again and pulled back. It felt as if my stomach had dropped to my shoes. He'd been so close, I know what I saw. The desire and longing in his eyes had been evident. I'm not an idiot. A girl knows when a man is interested and Nathan Johnson was interested. But he pulled back. Why?

Taking several steps back he looked over my shoulder as the front door opened.

"Ashley, is that you?" my father said as the hallway light illuminated us. "Who's that with you?"

My mind raced with a dozen different emotions. Anger leading the list. Why couldn't my dad have waited a little longer? Had I seen what I thought I had seen in Nathan's eyes or was it all in my imagination.

Sighing to myself I said "It's Nathan, he walked me home. I'll be inside in just a minute."

"Um, I've got to go anyway. I'll see you tomorrow morning," Nathan said. "Nice to see you Mr. Parker." He turned and walked away, probably kicking himself for ever walking me home. At the last moment he turned and gave me a quick wave then disappeared into the night like an angel returning to heaven.

"You'll see him tomorrow," I told myself under my breath. Besides there'd been that burning desire I'd glimpsed in his eyes. I know what I saw, and I was going to keep telling myself it was there until somebody proved me wrong.

Chapter Five

Nathan

Stuffing my hands in my pockets I continued down the street berating myself.

Man, I almost screwed that up so bad. That's Ashley Parker you idiot. Chrissy's best friend. Not some woman you picked up in a bar for a one night stand. Ashley was a forever kind of girl and your leaving in four weeks remember.

Hey, it was only an almost kiss I told myself. It’s not like you grabbed her and threw her over your shoulder to take back to your cave. The image flashed into my mind of what I would like to do with Ashley and a shudder traveled down my spine.

God she was beautiful, sweet, and intelligent. The kind of person that a man dreamt about. And yes I knew I'd been stuck in the back and beyond for a long time. But that was no reason to come on to Ashley Parker. I'd been within a hair's breadth of kissing her. If it hadn't been for her father stepping out I would have. And then what?

I could see it now. Ashley embarrassed, Chrissy giving me the silent treatment, Mom disappointed in me. Dad shaking his head at my idiotic moves and me feeling like a first class fool.

Four weeks, I kept telling myself as I walked up to our house, retrieving the key from behind the porch light. Four weeks.

Later lying in bed I stared up at the ceiling unable to sleep, my hands folded behind my head. Johnny was snoring lightly on the other side of the room. That wasn't going to bother me. A squad bay full of Marines could sound like a lumber mill through a megaphone. In the Marines, if you can't sleep with other people snoring, you don't sleep.

No, it was the look in Ashley's eyes when I was preparing to kiss her that was keeping me wide awake. I swear she'd wanted me too. Had she leaned in a little closer? Had her lips pursed slightly?

.o0o.

Ashley stood next to my truck patiently waiting for me the next morning. Dressed in her adorable waitress outfit, hair pulled back, a sweater folded over her hands.

"You ready for some killer biscuits and gravy?" she asked.

"Coffee, I need coffee,” I said. Neither Mom nor Dad drank coffee, I don't know why but they'd never picked up the habit. After breakfast I was going out and buying them a coffee maker.

She laughed and hopped into my truck. I got the distinct impression that what I was calling ‘The Moment' last night was not to be discussed. In fact, I was pretty sure Ashley hadn't even been aware of it. Shrugging my shoulders I got in as well. Probably for the best.

The biscuits and gravy turned out to be as good as she promised. We sat at a back booth and discussed people we knew. Who was where doing what to whom. That kind of thing. I could have sat there all day talking to her. The world seemed to melt away. All my problems, all my stresses disappeared whenever I was around this woman.

It wasn't just the looks, it wasn't just the personality. It was the familiarity. So much of our lives wove around each other. Our stories were shared stories. It made things comfortable. I could start a story and she could finish it. We were almost talking in shorthand.

"Remember the time Johnny ...."

"Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day."

She knew what I was thinking before I did. With Ashley I could be me. Not some macho know it all, or a sensitive soul trying to win her over. Just me.

She knew too much about me and would have seen right through any kind of façade.

It was like hanging out with my friends, my squad mates. They knew me better than anyone and accepted me anyway. I smiled to myself, imagining telling her that she reminded me of a bunch of Marines.

For three days I took Ashley to work and picked her up after. Each day better than the last.

After we shared breakfast she’d start work and I’d go hang out with my friends from high school. Or at least try too. Billy worked in the lumber yard driving a fork lift, Steve was home all day but he was married with two kids both under three and his wife Jean hadn’t been real happy to see me.

Glen was in jail, again. The boy was going to waste his entire life.

A sharp pain hit me in the gut whenever I thought about how things had changed. My old friends had moved on with their lives. Even my kid sister was heading off to college in a few weeks. Had I done the right thing leaving it all behind? What would happen if I came back to this world?

Dad could get me a job on his road crew. But did I want that? He’d made it into an excellent life. He and mom were truly happy. It could be done, but was that the only way? And if so, why. There had to be more.

On Friday I took Ashley to get her car from the shop then followed her to Sam’s so we could have breakfast. My heart fell when I realized I wouldn’t have an excuse to see her in the morning or a reason to say goodnight.

.o0o.

The late Saturday morning sunshine woke me from a restless sleep filled with dreams of mountain tops and sky blue scarfs. Turning over in bed I stared up at the ceiling. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. The house was quieter than normal. Dad had taken Johnny on a back hoe job. The memory of dad teaching me how to work the big shovel made me smile.

Mom had mentioned that she was taking Marla and Elizabeth school shopping. She’d made a sweep through our room and grabbed all my dirty clothes. I’d told her not to worry about it but she’d insisted. I think she’d felt all maternal and stuff doing things like that.

None of my old clothes fit anymore so I threw on some jeans and headed to the laundry room for a shirt. I’m sure she’d have finished the first load before leaving this morning.

I was half way through the kitchen before a pair of long tanned legs caught my eye. Ashley wearing jean shorts and a white tank top was leaning against out sink eating a bowl of cereal. My heart stopped and my breath hitched.

Wow, when they invented the word sexy, this is what they were thinking about. My eyes traveled up her long legs, over her perfectly shaped hips, and continued up past her flat stomach and the tight fabric pulled across her chest. Finally coming to rest on those gorgeous blue eyes of hers.

I know I shouldn’t have checker her out like that, especially not with Chrissy standing right there next to her but I couldn’t help myself.

She was adorable. Standing there with a spoon half way to those luscious lips her eyes as big as dinner plates. Staring at me as if I was a hidden treasure trove, her eyes kept dipping to stare at my chest.

Chrissy looked back and forth between the two of us as if watching a tennis match.

“You two should get a room!” she said with a sneer.

“Chrissy,” Ashley said, slapping her on the arm.

“What?” My sister asked with all innocence. “You’ve been mooning over him since you were twelve years old. You’re eighteen, it’s time you did something about it. He’ll be gone in a couple of weeks.”

“Chrissy,” Ashley exclaimed again as her face turned fire engine red.

Ignoring my sister and the teasing she was giving her friend at my expense I grabbed a T-shirt making sure to give Ashley one more look. It turned my insides over to see her standing there like that.

Deciding that retreat was the better part of valor I turned to go back to my room.

“Hey Nate,” Chrissy yelled as I started up the stairs. “Tim’s throwing a party at his house. His parents are out of town and it’ll probably be the last one of the summer. He said to make sure I invited you.

“Okay, thanks”

“Of course, I could care less if you didn’t show up. But I’m pretty sure someone would be devastated.

The sound of an open hand slapping flesh reverberated from the kitchen.

“What was that for?” Chrissy asked.

“General Principal,” Ashley answered.

Chapter Six

Ashley

Still unable to get the image of a shirtless Nathan out of my mind I walked to Tim’s for the evening’s party. The sight of Nathan like that had haunted me all day. Those chiseled abs, wide shoulders and hard tanned chest had done something to my insides. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t concentrate on anything except him.

I swear I could hear the head banging music two blocks before I got to Tim’s. The sweet aroma of pot and the reek of alcohol topped with the stomach turning stench of Doritos hit me like a sledge hammer when I stepped into the party.

Almost everyone had been issued the proverbial red plastic cup. That was the thing about Tim, he could afford to supply his own kegs. I looked around the room and realized I didn’t really want to be there. Another summer evening with a bunch of jumping, grinding teenagers. Not enough air and not enough bathrooms. It was going to be a long lonely evening.

I’d worn a simple yellow sun dress with my hair down and I was definitely overdressed. Most of the girls were in shorts and halter tops. Quite a few of them would be wearing even less before the evening was done. Looking over the crowd I realized I was dreading this night. When did I become such an old woman I wondered? I used to love Tim’s parties. Now all I could think about was Nathan. The girls were going to be all over him as soon as he arrived. The thought made my guts crawl up my spine. This was going to suck on so many levels.

“He’s not here,” Chrissy said coming up to me from behind. She was dressed in Jeans and a T-shirt. She had on a little more make-up than normal and seemed nervous for some reason. I could smell the alcohol on her breath already. Nathan was not going to be happy about it.

“Who?” I asked innocently as I accepted the spare red cup full of beer.

“Ha, very funny. My brother of course. He’s not here I’ve already checked.”

“I wish you’d stop making a thing about it Chrissy, it’s not funny.”

“I know it’s not funny,” Chrissy said. “But it is true.”

I sighed in exasperation. I could not allow her to ruin everything. There was no way Nathan could be allowed to find out how I felt about him. It was bad enough Chrissy had figured it out. If he found out I don’t know what I would do. Probably run and hide until my thirtieth birthday.

“Even if it was true, do not get involved. You’ll just make it worse, Please Chrissy, I’m begging you.”

She looked at me with those sad eyes of pity and sighed. “Boy, you’ve got it bad. Okay, I’ll stop teasing you. But I’m serious, I think you’re wasting a great opportunity. I’ve never seen Nathan look at a girl the way he looks at you. It’s like the rest of us dropped off the face of the earth and never existed whenever you’re in the same room.”

My heart jumped at the idea of Nathan Johnson being interested in me. He’d been my ideal, my model by which I judged all other boys. To think he might find me attractive. Might think of me as something other than a sister, something other than a friend made my head spin.

“Come on, let’s mingle,” Chrissy said as she slipped her arm into mine and pulled me into the party. “I bet there are a dozen guys here who’d jump at the chance to flirt with you. Pick one.”

Within an hour I was bored out of my mind. Nathan hadn’t shown up. Chrissy had ditched me to put her tongue down Tim Buckminster’s throat for half the evening and the loud music was starting to give me a headache.

When Frank Miller failed to make it to the bathroom before puking I’d had enough. Seeing that the crowd was too densely packed to find my way to the front door I slipped out the back hoping I could leave via the side gate without anyone noticing.

“Hey Ashley, What you up to?” A deep voice from the backyard shadows asked. Sending my pulse racing as my lungs threatened to hyperventilate. I’d know that voice anywhere, it haunted my dreams.

“Nathan, is that you,” I asked as I walked towards him, drawn like a moth to a porch light. “What are you doing out here?”

He was sitting on a garden bench tucked into the corner of the yard. Someone had created a nice private little space, shielded by bushes. The cool night air teased me with the soft sent of Azalea and the warm musk of Nathan.

His legs crossed, he was leaning back and relaxing, a red cup in his hand. Shrugging his shoulders he said. “I don’t know, hiding I guess. They all seem so young. I was thinking about a guy I knew. He would have loved being here tonight.”

Looking back at the party, everyone jumping to the music, screaming to be heard. I realized how right he was. To him it must seem all so pointless. These people had no idea what life was like, not really. They were kicking the can down the road. Deciding to face adulthood later, not now.

Boy I was in a grumpy mood I realized. I was no better than them. I couldn’t even decide what I wanted to do. All I had to look forward to was an ugly waitress uniform, Chrissy going away, my parents harping on me about school, and worst of all Nathan leaving in a few weeks. The future looked so crappy, I should be in there getting drunk off my butt trying to forget how much my life sucked.

“Come sit,” Nathan said as he patted the bench next to him. “We can sit here and figure out how to solve the world’s problems. Better yet, figure out what we’re going to do when we grow up.”

He’s in a down mood also I realized. Why? I wondered. He should be enjoying himself, he’d definitely earned it.

I sat down next to him, being careful not to touch any part of that amazing body. If I did, the electric shock would have sent me into a coma, or worse, let him know how I felt.

“So Ms. Parker,” he asked. “Why were you trying to sneak out? As pretty as you are I bet you left at least a dozen guys in there trying to figure out where you went.”

“Ha,” I laughed at his obvious joke. Did he think I was pretty? Really? My hands began to sweat and I felt myself shiver. “I don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders, upset at my lame response.

He nodded as if he understood and I realized he did. I didn’t have to go into lengthy detail. He knew me so well that I could mumble an inane comment and he got it, got me.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to do, university, community college, travel? bum around Europe? Waitressing? What?”

I hesitated for a moment. “No, the truth is that none of it sounds right. I just don’t know. What about you. Are you going to reenlist?” I held my breath waiting for an answer. Would this summer be the last time I saw him for the next few years. He’d returns someday with a wife and a couple of kids, maybe spend the holidays then be off again to another exotic posting.

He laughed and shook his head. “Nope, no decision. It feels like I am at a cross roads. One path leads to happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment. The other to boredom, wasted opportunities, and second guesses. Unfortunately I can’t figure out which path is which.”

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

He smiled at me and said. “Ten years from now, if you could be doing anything, be anywhere, what would it be? Describe your perfect life.”

Pausing I glanced at him from under my brow. Was he serious?

“I’m serious,” he said as if reading my mind.

Taking a deep breath I thought about it then said. “Most of the people, the adults, aren’t really happy. I know my parents aren’t. Oh, they’re content, Okay with their lives. But not truly happy, not living without regrets. You know?

He nodded that he understood.

“The happiest person I know,” I continued, “Is your mother.”

“What? My mom?” he said then paused to consider what I had told him. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t think she truly regrets anything. She could have finished college. I know she wanted to be an architect. But yeah, I guess she’s happy.”

He hadn’t laughed I thought. “I asked her one time why she didn’t become one, an architect I mean. She said, ‘Simple, it would have meant being away from you and the rest of the kids. Missing those special moments.’ That raising her children the way she wanted them raised was the most important job in the world and that she had never really regretted it. Sure there had been times when she wanted to run away screaming, wanted to have an adult conversation but then one of you guys would do something endearing, melt her heart, and all her druthers would disappear.”

“That sounds like her,” Nathan said. “It’s funny, I’ve never really thought of her as a separate person with her own wishes and desires. She’s always just been mom, always there when I needed her, pushing, guiding, supporting. You’re right though I think she is happy. I know that she laughs a lot.”

A calm silence continued between us.

“I know it’s not politically correct, I want what she has,”” I said as I stared at the bush next to me. I couldn’t look at him. If he rolled his eyes at me I’d die.

Taking a deep breath I continued on. “I want to love a man who adores me. Be surrounded by a bunch of kids, at least four maybe five. I don’t care where. Somewhere different would be nice. It doesn’t really matter as long as we have a big happy family. A home full of laughter and imagined drama. The neighborhood Kool-Aid house, where all the neighborhood kids hung out because it was safe and fun. You know?”

The silence felt like a heavy weight sucking the oxygen out of the air. Just what every healthy, young, red blooded male wants to talk about, kids, and a life dedicated to supporting someone else. Please say something Nathan I prayed. Break the tension. I had to know what he thought.

“They say, that no one on their death bed ever looks back and regrets not spending more time in the office. That’s a nice dream Ashley, you hold on to it. Fight for it. Don’t let anyone try and stop you.”

Glancing at him quickly I saw a soft smile on his lips. He wasn’t looking at me like I was foolish little girl dreaming of being a princess. He was looking at me like a man looks at a woman. A hint of fire and longing danced behind his eyes making my stomach turn queasy. Chrissy’s comments from earlier flashed through my mind. Was it possible? Could the great Nathan Johnson see me as something other than his little sister’s best friend?

We stared into each other’s eyes. His hand came up, pushing a stray wisp of hair behind my ears. I felt my heart jump and my pulse race. He slowly moved forward, hesitated a moment, then leaned in and kissed me.

My world exploded into a million lights. I was in heaven, every sensory organ jumped into overdrive. Every lifelong dream was answered in that one moment. Nathan Johnson’s kisses unraveled my soul.

His hand gently cupped the back of my neck as his lips caressed mine. Without thinking my hands slipped around his neck to hold him close as our lips explored each other.

I was right, Nathan was a great kisser. The night stars disappeared, the cool air melted away. All there was in this world was Nathan and his glorious lips.

We continued on for several minutes, the passion rising, my insides turning to molten lava. Everything building. Suddenly he pulled back. It felt as if part of my soul was missing. His lips leaving mine created an emptiness inside me. Why had he stopped? I didn’t want him to stop, I wanted it to go on forever.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said, staring into my eyes as if he were looking for something. Some lost emotion or deep understanding.

“I know, me too,” I said, kicking myself for such an inane answer.

We continued to gaze into each other’s eyes. It was true, the books, the stories. All true. You could get lost in another person’s eyes. You could feel as if the world had changed with a flash. Nothing would ever be the same for me again I realized.

“I’m leaving in a couple of weeks.” He said, his forehead wrinkling in a deep frown.

“I know,” I said with a sigh.

“You’re Chrissy’s best friend."

“I kn…… I’m your friend too, at least I hope so.” Why did I say that, oh no, he’s going to put me back in the friend zone. My heart fell. I could be the dumbest person I knew.

“Oh, Miss Ashley Parker. Friends don’t kiss like that. Believe me. Friends don’t feel like I feel right now.”

“I know,” I said with a smile. Resting my forehead against his. He put his arms around me and pulled me in for a tight, heartwarming hug that made me feel as if all was right with the world. For the first time in my life I was where I was supposed to be.