My Secret Garden (Women Sexual Fantasies) (26 page)

Women say that their descriptions of their own erotic fantasies of other women may even bring a fond smile to their lover’s lips; homoeroticism between women seems to be acceptable to men, and indeed is often a sexual turn-on. But any suggestion that the man might have these same feelings about other men is treated as an insult or a threat. It’s one thing for women to have this kind of thoughts, but quite another (ugly, dirty) for a man.

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Christine

I’ve had this fantasy many times, as often when I’m with a man as when I’m alone, masturbating. I think the first time I had it I really was in a steam bath; afterward, I couldn’t wait to get home to Ted, I was that heated up and ravenous for him. I’ve never told him about it. Not because I’m ashamed of it or anything; I have no real desire for another woman, would probably jump a mile if one approached me "that way." No, I simply don’t tell him about it because thinking it gives me such immense pleasure when we’re screwing…and I’d hate to take the chance of losing that by breaking the secrecy. This is it: The steam bath is empty. I don’t know this when I first enter, wrapped in my towel that the gym supplies. The steam is so thick I can barely find my way to one of the tiled seats, where I sit, with my feet up, hugging my knees. As my body begins to sweat, and my eyes become accustomed to the steam, I realize that I am alone. I begin to fondle myself, to gently stroke myself with my finger, reaching inside myself for the warm syrup that always begins when I, or anyone touches me there. But I don’t need the wetness from inside my body because the sweat and the steam run down my legs and my pubic hairs, that whole area is drenched. I have not heard the door to the steambath open. My eyes have been closed, my mind enveloped in the growing excitement, and I only realize there is someone else with me when I hear a noise, quickly look up and see another body on the tiled slab opposite. I am petrified. Christ, did she see what I was doing to myself? I am too frightened to move and I pretend that I am drowsing, closing my eyes again. I lie down full length on the slab, pulling the towel up so high that it almost covers my face. I am asleep, or so I pretend. The next thing I know, a hand is on my thigh, slowly moving up it. I gasp, hidden beneath my towel.

The hairs on my legs bristle with excitement, part fear…should I 194

run? But the towel protects me, hides me, and I remain passive. I leave the problem of another person entering and finding us to her; she will watch. Her hands are on both my thighs now, slowly massaging them, her fingers reaching up higher, higher, until they gently part my legs. I wait for her mouth and she leaves me thus for endless seconds. My lips beneath the towel now plead silently – please, please, don’t stop, kiss me, kiss it! Her fingers have parted me, exposing my clitoris to the warm heat, and it seems to grow, to expand toward her, reaching for her mouth…and then suddenly, softly, tenderly her lips are on me, her tongue warm against me, moving. Half of my mind can’t help but wonder what will happen now if we are discovered, but I have no choice. I am hers. I cannot leave those fingers, that mouth. The sweat pours over my face, the steam swirls all around me, I feel, have felt nothing of her but her hands and her mouth.

Otherwise she is formless. I can feel the syrup pouring from me now, and she drinks it, her saliva, her sweat, my sweat all mingling in my cunt. Her lips are so full, and her tongue so warm, slowly licking me, all the way from my ass up to my clitoris, but stopping on it, lingering on it, then her tongue moving in small circles all around it, teasing it, but always returning, and when the tongue returns, the lips too, the full kiss again and again. The heat is so intense, and my own excitement, I am afraid I will faint, that I will scream out. I bite hard on the towel, raising my buttocks suddenly so that her whole tongue is in my cunt when I come. [Written down on request]

Dolly

I have never had a homosexual experience, but I do have many lesbian fantasies. While my boy friend is making love to me I often fantasize about my best friend. We are not lesbians but we are extremely close (she is twentysix, I am nineteen). Anyway, the fantasizing begins when my boy friend starts kissing me. I 195

pretend it is her. She kisses me. deeply and passionately. Then she gets on top of me and begins kissing my breasts and gently biting my nipples. Then I kiss her nipples and start sucking them, all the while in her arms. She tells me how much she loves me and how she wants me to love her as much. I tell her I do. Then she kisses me again. Slowly she licks my breasts all over and then, still slowly, with much help from me, she spreads my legs apart. She licks my inner thighs and then she finds my clitoris.

She knows that is my extra sensitive part and she takes great care as she licks it. Her tongue is very soft. Then she spreads my legs and places her buttocks between my legs. Both our clits are protruding now from the licking and she gently rubs hers on mine until we both reach orgasm. All the while I’m imagining this, my boy friend is making love to me and I reach one orgasm after another.

At other times I fantasize that my boy friend is having intercourse with me while I lie in her arms and she kisses my breasts. With the two of them working on me, I soon come.

As you can see, lesbian fantasies play a great part in my lovemaking. Although I have never had any lesbian tendencies, perhaps deep down I’m bisexual. Who knows? It’s the only answer I’ve been able to come up with as to why I have such fantasies.

But not all my fantasies are of the lesbian type. I masturbate fairly frequently, and when I do I fantasize. I picture a very good-looking man with a beautiful body. He is standing about six feet away from me and he has a huge throbbing penis. I am strapped to my bed and I plead with him to make love to me –but he refuses. He just stands there with his huge erection. I can’t get at him because all my limbs are strapped. Gradually he comes closer to me until he is right beside me. Then he stands on the bed above my face – one leg on either side of meand slowly squats until "it" can be touched with the tip of my tongue. But he will not let me take it in my mouth. Still squatting, he slowly 196

backs up and rubs his penis on my huge breasts and my nipples continue to rise, hard and proud. Then he rubs his penis on my inner thighs and finally on my clitoris. Finally we have intercourse. By that time I have reached an orgasm.

Another one of my favorite fantasies is to imagine myself being the focal point in group sex. While men take their turns having intercourse with me, the women are kissing me and playing with my breasts. Everyone is telling me how much they love me and I am brimming with love for them. [Letter]

Bee

I do not now have lesbian fantasies, but for a period of time when I was a teen-age girl, I did. I had a young, pretty female teacher on whom I guess I had a crush. She was very kind and nice to me, and we had many long talks after school. When she found out from me that my parents thought sex was bad and that they told me nothing about the "facts of life," she got me a little pamphlet that gave the basic information. She also answered a few of my questions about what I learned from that pamphlet. I did not learn any of the details about sex, but at least I learned where babies came from. Anyway, as I said, I had a crush on this teacher, and I would sometimes fantasize about her. I dreamed that we would undress each other, and she would hold me in her arms. Then I would kiss her breasts and suck on her nipples as though I were a baby. Other times, I would fantasize about taking a bath or a shower with her, and I would have thoughts about washing and drying her entire body. When she got married, my crush was broken, and these dreams stopped. [Letter]

Venice

I have had an occasional lesbian fantasy, but only about a girl friend feeling my breasts; nothing more than that. [Conversation]

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Lilly

I don’t think you would call my lesbian fantasies "suppressed wish fulfillment." I have often wondered what it would be like to be aroused by a woman, to be engaged in foreplay with her, with her kissing my breasts and sucking on my nipples, and also to have her play with my clitoris. I wouldn’t want her to suck or kiss it, just play with it – and not gently. [Conversation]

Rita

I must be very selfish, but I believe it would take quite a lot to get me involved in "swinging" or group sex. I can’t stand the thought of my fiance making love to someone else. I have, however, imagined watching another woman perform fellatio on him and later joining the two of them. However, even this culminates in him and me having intercourse. [Letter]

Mary Beth

I enjoy a full sex life with my husband. Sometimes, however, I do have lesbian fantasies, but it is difficult to describe them. I think of best friends (past girl friends) and being in bed with them, just touching and caressing. That is as far as the fantasies ever go, although I would like to meet a lesbian and experiment.

[Letter]

Viv

I have thought about experimenting, finding a woman to make love with, to see if I really feel that way or not. My fantasies are rather muddled. Sometimes I think of an older attractive woman (feminine looking, not butch) seducing me. And then other times 198

I think of a girl of my own age group, and in this case neither of us is seducing. I suppose you would call it mutual exploration. I told my boy friend about this (I can discuss everything openly and frankly with him). He said he thought it quite natural, but when I asked him if he had ever wanted to sleep with another man, he said, no, lesbian love seemed more acceptable than homosexual love. [Letter]

Lee

In my lesbian fantasies, I can never put an identity to my partner. She is no one I know and has no face or personality. In my dreams she is just a female body who takes most of the initiative, while I am merely passive and just lie there as she makes love to me. I fantasize that she plays with my breasts and sucks them while masturbating herself. Then she performs cunnilingus on me. We do not kiss, and I do not touch her genitals in these fantasies; however, I do play with her breasts. I often engage in this fantasy while making it with my husband, particularly when he performs cunnilingus on me. [Letter]

Willa

Once I had a lesbian fantasy. I hardly remember it, but it was with my very closest friend. I was the aggressor. It was a beautiful experience. [Conversation]

Dana

I am not lesbian in any way – I enjoy men too much but when it is necessary for me to masturbate, I visualize any girl with big breasts and proud nipples standing over my face so that I can see into her cunt. My hands play with her buttocks and while I do this she is sucking the cock of the man. This makes her cunt wet 199

and she drips on my face. Another girl is opening my knees and putting a cold bottle in my cunt while gently pushing her finger in my behind. When the girl standing over me brings the man off, she sits down on my face and I stick my tongue up into her cunt and lick it, while she writhes in ecstasy. Meanwhile, the man lifts my backside up and pushes his rockhard prick right up my backside, and the other girl works the bottle in my cunt faster and faster, backward and forward, while I put my finger up her cunt and play with her apex until she shoots her beautiful juice out of her marvelous cunt. [Letter]

Cara

I have occasionally fantasized about two of my friends, both of whom have very womanly figures. I do not mean "womanly" in the Raquel Welch sense. That sort of body doesn’t appeal to me.

Rather, they are soft-looking, buxom women. I would imagine myself as a man making love to one of these women. The breasts were very important for excitation. I should add that I’ve had no real experience with women, am married and prefer it this way.

[Letter]

Celia

I am nineteen, a secretary, and am due to be married this year.

My fiance and I do not have sexual intercourse. We have been going out for just three years. We do, however, frequently have oral sex and are looking forward to an extremely happy and varied sex life together.

In sex, I often think of someone else (no one I know), especially if I am not finding it easy to reach orgasm. I find it particularly exciting to think of another woman and generally this

"does the trick." Generally, I make up situations – strip clubs (watching or performing); slave girl (!) ; anything where I am 200

forced
to take off my clothes and make love. Sometimes I imagine there is just one other woman, other times that there are two women and a man.

I get quite turned on by female nudity or pictures (I always read erotic literature before masturbating, to give myself ideas!), and it automatically shows up in fantasies. The women in my fantasies are not friends; I just picture a faceless woman’s body. I don’t think I actually imagine touching her. I just enjoy the thought of the naked body. I prefer to imagine she is touching me.

When I was a little girl, about eight, I remember always bullying my best friend into playing games where we had to pretend to take off our clothes and the "wicked man" would make us walk in the street, or the inevitable school situations where we would force each other to do things. I remember when I was about ten, wanting to be a stripper…and there may have been some kind of intimate contact with my girl friend, but I really can’t remember. I did have quite sexy ideas…like wanting another girl to dry me down after showering, or being forced in various ways to take my clothes off.

I would be interested to know how many women (what percentage) are bisexual, as opposed to men. I can imagine myself to be, but I suspect that my apparent interest in women, having read through my letter, is just objective and a form of extra stimulation.

I have told my fiance about my lesbian fantasies and he is neither jealous nor angry. We discuss them regularly. He does not fantasize himself, but quite understands why I do. He considers it quite natural, in fact. We have great sexual compatibility and understanding, and I only wish every couple in the world felt the way we do about each other. [Letter]