My Paper Heart (16 page)

"I don’t know, don't you think that's a bit of a stretch?" I bit my lip, trying to avoid her eyes.

"Honey, I don't think you understand. If you would have seen how he was before you, you wouldn’t be saying this." She gave up trying to look me in the eye and just shook her head.

Then we sat there quietly for a few moments before she stood up. "I'm only going to say one more thing to you, Libby."

I looked up at her, her cheeks were actually soaking wet. "If I could have one more chance with Jackson I would take it in a heartbeat, and I think you should do the same with Blaine."

She didn't wait for me to follow, just left me there staring up as she darted back down the street and into the antique shop.

Chapter 17

I just stared at my phone for a long time, debating if I should pick it up and call him or not.

"Libby just call him!" Britt yelled from the other end of the couch.

It was Thursday, which meant it was bridge night. Since it was Eleanor Saint Fleur's night to host, it was just Britt and I sitting on the couch and watching a made-for-TV movie.

"That's not what I'm thinking about," I quipped, quickly looking up at the TV.

Britt rolled her eyes. "Libby, I'm not stupid, it's been almost a week since you talked to him, and I know you want to. So just call him!"

"I don't need to call him. I'm enjoying sitting here with you and watching this movie." I slouched deeper into the couch.

"What's this movie about then?"

"What?" I shot my head toward her.

"You heard me. If you are watching this movie, what is it about?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Uh…well…there is a lady…and a dude…"

"Just as I thought." Britt leaned across the couch and grabbed my phone.

"Hey!" I reached my arms out, but it was too late. Britt had already sprung up and was behind the couch. The phone was to her ear.

"Hey Blaine, its Britt." I hopped over the couch mouthing No over and over and waving my arms in the air. "Yeah, I've got someone that wants to talk to you."

She handed me the phone. "I’m going to Sarah's, I'll be back later, now don't keep that boy waiting." She then turned and headed out the front door, leaving me standing there with the phone in my hand.

"Um hello?  Hello?" I could hear Blaine loud and clear.

Slowly I put the phone up to my ear. "Hey…"

"Libby, is it really you this time?" He spoke slowly, really bringing out his accent.

"Yeah…it's me…"  I couldn't think of anything to say. I didn't know what I was supposed to say, so we just sat there in silence for what seemed like forever.

"Libby, I'm sorry." It was all he could muster. It felt like he was fighting the words as he said them.

"Are you?" I held back my tears, they really wanted to come out though, and I constantly had to wipe my eyes.

Then the doorbell rang. I quickly wiped my eyes again. "Hold on, someone's at the door."

I walked over, taking a big sniffle, with the phone still at my ear.

"Yes?" I dropped the phone as soon as I saw that it was Blaine standing there. His eyes were blood shot, like he hadn't slept in days, and he looked like he just picked up whatever wrinkled flannel shirt and jeans he could find on the floor.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." He just stood there, looking right at me, his eyes were so blue and I realized how much I missed his stare.

I completely lost it. I let the tears run freely as I jumped into his arms, almost knocking him over. Luckily he caught me and I wrapped my legs and arms around him.

He looked up at me, gripping me tighter around the waist and a big smile crossed his face. I looked down and finally met his smile, and then I leaned in closer and lightly kissed his lips.

He reciprocated in full force, opening his mouth and kissing me hard as he walked into the house, with me still in his arms. Luckily he found the couch. I was afraid he might lose his balance.

He stopped kissing me for a brief moment, but then started up again as he laid down on top of me on the couch. It was like he had never kissed me or felt me before, his hands were running through my hair, then up my sides, and down to my hips. Then his kissing got harder and he started going down my neck and my collar bone.

"Blaine, what are you doing?" I pulled his head up and looked at him.

"What?" He shrugged, intertwining his fingers with the drawstring on my sweat pants.

"You act like you haven't seen me in years or like that you want something." I cocked my head to the side.

"Well, it has been awhile, baby." He grinned from ear to ear. "And I missed you." He leaned in again to kiss me, but I turned my head sharply before he could, giving him a mouthful of blonde hair.

"This doesn't mean I've completely forgiven you, or that I’m just going to have sex with you here on Aunt Dee's couch." I slowly turned my head back toward him so he could see that I was serious.

"Well isn't that what you want, Libby?" He moved from the drawstring to the top of my sweat pants. He moved my shirt up and rubbed my panty line with his thumb.

"I do...I mean…"  I pushed his hand away and moved my legs out from around him and onto the floor. "I mean, I did." I put my head in my hands and heaved a big sigh.

"So, you don't want to now?" He scooted closer to me, a look of puzzlement clearly painted on his face. "Did I do something to change your mind?  Baby, I am truly very sorry what happened on the fourth, and I really want to make it up to you."

He gently grabbed my hand, putting it in his.

I looked up at him, slowly pulling my head up. "I know Blaine, and I know I should have been more understanding of everything. I shouldn't have kept trying to force you."

"Baby, you didn't try to force me into anything. I was just being stupid and stubborn." He smiled scooting closer to me. "And I am really hoping that you still have that little black thing you were wearing."

I grinned and shook my head. "I think I buried that somewhere in my closet."

"Damn." The air blew threw his nose as he laughed.

"I do have some pretty awesome granny panties on right now though."

"Man, Libby." He poked my ribs. "You really know how to get a guy going."

"You know what would really get me going?" I turned my whole body toward him, a devious little grin crossing my lips.

"What?" He was so close I could feel that he was still a bit excited, well at least his pants were telling me he was still excited.

I leaned in and put my lips close to his ear, whispering. "If you got me a root beer float."

"Oh come on!" He smacked his leg.

"What?" I pulled back. "We haven't gone to Sam's in a while now, and I really want one."

"You're a tease." He poked the bit of my stomach that peeked out from underneath my shirt. "And you look like you need to eat."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to take that one, do I thank you?"

"Um no." He stood up. "It means you need to eat a fucking cheeseburger."

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, that wasn't very nice."

He groaned. "Libby, c'mon I don't want to play this game. Let's go. I'll take you to Sam's or the Tasty Freeze." He put his hand out toward me.

I smacked his hand down. "I don't want to go now."

"What did I do now?  I just said that you were skinny. Is that such a bad thing?" He threw his arms up in the air in disarray.

"No, I guess it isn't." I stood up and grabbed his hand. "Fine, you can take me to Sam's."

I wished that I could tell Blaine. I wished that I could just open up to him, tell him
Why yes Blaine, I look so skinny because I've thrown up everything I've eaten since we fought
. Or how I never thought I was fat till college.

Sororities are notorious for hazing, that's no secret. They say it's more regulated, but the truth is it still happens a lot. It's really not all bad, it shows you know that the older members have earned this and they do deserve respect. So I really didn't mind the study hours and house clean up, but what I did mind was the bikini test.

I thought the bikini test was just a rumor, something that they made up during rush week so girls wouldn't want to join a sorority. I was definitely wrong. The first night I was a new pledge, they had all the new girls line up and then strip down to just our bra and panties. We all thought this was weird, but at the same time, we still had the adrenaline from rush pumping in our veins.

All of a sudden the Alpha Mu boys came down the cement stairs, to the unfinished Kappa basement, all holding Sharpies, and quickly each of them picked a girl and started circling their trouble spots. Lots of girls had circles all over their stomachs and the like. I looked around at all of them and was just shocked at what I was seeing.

Finally, Beau came up to me. He was the lucky one that got to Sharpie me. I thought he might say something sweet, maybe not even Sharpie me, but I couldn't be that lucky.

"Well, I mean, you are pretty fine." He slowly stepped in front of me and then circled around me, ever so slowly, like he was a vulture and I was his prey.

"I mean tall and blonde does have its advantages, but…"

I snapped my head foreword, but?

He took the Sharpie and made the two biggest circles on each of my thighs. "You've got some of the biggest thunder thighs I have ever seen!"

Everyone in the room laughed. The new recruits tried to hold back their giggles, but I think most of them were just relieved it wasn't them. Beau never apologized for that. To this day I don't think he realized how much it affected me.

I couldn't stop eating, I really liked food, but I also found out if you binged it was just as easy to purge. It took me a while to get the knack of it. Sometimes I wouldn't be able to throw up at all, and would just feel sick. Then I started using whatever object I could: straws, spoons, whatever. Soon it was like I could throw up on demand. I would just go in the bathroom, run the water, and come out about five minutes later. My eyes would be a little bloodshot and my knees a little red from the floor.

I was beginning to be happy with who I’d become after moving to Louisiana, but with Blaine's rejection I felt like I was back in the basement in the Kappa house. But this time it was Blaine with the Sharpie

Chapter 18

The next day at work it was like nothing had changed. Blaine came to get me as usual for lunch and we spent our nights watching movies on the couch at Aunt Dee's. But Saturday was a little out of the ordinary.

My phone vibrated loudly on the dresser, waking me up.

One New Message from Blaine

I unlocked my phone and read the message

Blaine:

Happy One month anniversary. I know it's cheesy, but I'll see you later J

I smiled. A guy who actually remembered something silly like a one month anniversary. I don't even think Beau remembered the night we met.

I texted back.

Can't wait! J

∞

I had no idea what Blaine and I were doing. It was only a month that we were official, and he asked me out on the picnic table at the Tasty Freeze so it's not like I was expecting roses and jewelry. Though he did seem to always notice my bits of jewelry from Tiffany's that I would wear, and would comment on them. But I knew that definitely wasn't coming my way. I wasn't sure how much Blaine made working for the Parrish Highway and Roads Department, but I knew he had to be putting away some money, since he was living at home.

Most of the morning and afternoon nothing really happened. I kept trying to text Blaine, but he said he was busy. I had no idea what he could be doing. Hopefully he was planning something awesome for that night.

But as the day pegged on, I had almost watched an entire season of some mindless reality TV show and was afraid I'd be doing that for the rest of the night.

"Libby, can you move your laundry hamper out of the way?"

I was sprawled out on the couch, when I heard Aunt Dee pummeling into the kitchen.

"What?" I sat up and saw Aunt Dee carrying a big plastic box from my bedroom and putting it on the kitchen table. "What are you doing Aunt Dee?"

"Oh." She stopped and looked up at me. "Well, the ladies and I are going to be having a scrapbooking night here, since Britt will be out and you'll be over at The Crabtree's."

"What?" I stood up and walked toward the kitchen while Aunt Dee went into my room and quickly brought out another big box of scrapbooking supplies.

"Well honey, I haven't scrapbooked since you've gotten here and a lot has happened!" She put her tiny hands on her hips and looked up at me.

"No, that's fine I'm not questioning that." I ran my fingers through my hair. "You just said I was going to the Crabtree's?"

"Well that's what Vicki had told me when she called this morning. She said Blaine's got something planned for him and Libby, so let's have a scrapbooking night. You didn't know?" She pushed up her glasses.

"Oh yeah, knew all about it. Um what time did he say he was picking me up again?" I took a big stretch, putting my arms over my head so I towered even more over her.

"Well the girls are supposed to be over here at six for the potluck, so hopefully soon." She scampered back into the bedroom, pulling out more boxes. The lady had a lot of scrapbooking supplies.

I glanced over at the microwave clock. It was quarter to five. I figured Blaine would be over in an hour. The boy was usually early, which meant that I didn't have much time. I knew if he was planning something I'd have to come up with the perfect gift for him, and I had a pretty good idea what that could be. I ran into the bedroom and jumped on my laptop as fast as I could. Only an hour to get this ordered, shower, change, and do my hair. It was going to be a rush.

∞

At six o'clock on the dot, women with giant scrapbooking bags piled in through the door. They dragged their bags with one hand and carried either a crock-pot or some other dish in their other hand. Britt was already gone, camping with Sarah or something for the weekend, so that left me to help everyone in.