My Life With the Walter Boys (19 page)

“Alone?” I finished for him.

“Yeah,” Cole said, nodding his head. “I was afraid of being alone.”

“Welcome to my life,” I told him sadly.

It took Cole half an hour of coaxing before he convinced me to leave Will’s. On the ride back to the ranch, I asked how Nathan was doing.

“He’s okay,” Cole said, taking his eyes off the road to glance at me. “He was asking for you.”

I didn’t respond to that. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been there for Nathan.

“I can take you to see him tomorrow if you want.”

“Sure,” I said curtly, and after that, Cole got the message that I didn’t want to talk. I was still furious with him, but I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. When the truck was finally parked in the Walters’ driveway, I opened the door and shot out.

“Wait, Jackie!” Cole called, but I was already rushing to my room.

Part of me wanted to go to Alex and Nathan’s room. Over the past month, the half-messy, half-clean space was where I spent most of my time. It had become a type of retreat, a place where I felt comfortable, and the posters on the walls were as familiar as the mural in my own room. But Alex would be there. Not only that, but he was probably still mad at me, and all I wanted was to be alone.

For the most part, the Walters let me be. Everyone except Katherine came home from the hospital at lunchtime, yet the house remained calm. Still reeling from the shock of Nathan’s accident, none of the kids were their usual rambunctious selves. At one point in the afternoon Parker knocked on my door looking for Jack and Jordan, but even she wasn’t in the mood to give me one of her signature sneers.

I didn’t go down to the kitchen for lunch or dinner, but at seven someone knocked on my door. Alex nudged it open with his shoulder. He was carrying a tray with a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.

“You hungry?” he asked, gesturing down at the food.

Even though I was surprised to see him, I barely moved from my spot on the bed. The day’s events had left me mentally drained, and all I could manage was a shrug. My stomach felt empty, but not because I needed food.

“Well, can I come in?”

“I suppose.”

Alex crossed the room carefully so he wouldn’t spill the soup, and after setting it down on my desk, he stood at the side of my bed with his hands shoved into his pockets. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something but closed again as he changed his mind. I knew he was looking for the right way to start a conversation, but I wasn’t going to help him. I remained silent, watching him patiently.

At last he said, “Jackie, I’m super sorry.” Alex looked just as worn out as I felt. All the usual color was drained from his face, and for some reason that made me believe him. I wasn’t any less stunned, though.

“Two apologies in one day?” I asked, also referring to Cole. “Who’s the miracle worker around here?” The sarcasm came out accidentally, but it was warranted. Both boys were being bipolar, like Jekyll and Hyde. Yesterday they hated me, and now they wanted my forgiveness.

Alex’s shoulders went stiff. “Nathan,” he answered.

“Really? Do tell.” I had a hard time believing that, considering he’d just had a seizure.

“When he realized you weren’t at the hospital, he got angry. He asked to speak with Cole and me alone, and then he yelled at us,” Alex said. “Like, really loudly. I swear, one of the nurses nearly had a panic attack when she heard him shouting.”

It was hard to picture Nathan in a hospital bed with an IV in his arm while he reprimanded his older brothers, but the thought made my lips curl in satisfaction. “And what did Nathan say?”

By now, Alex’s face was a deep red. “That I was a complete idiot if I actually thought you were trying to hurt me,” he mumbled.

“Pretty accurate for someone with a head injury,” I said. At that point, I was past being polite. The fact that Alex had so willingly believed Cole’s performance upset me all over again. Did he really think I was that cruel?

“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “I know it’s not a good excuse, but I was
really
upset that you didn’t come to the party, and on top of that, I was drinking. Then all of a sudden you showed up with him, and I just couldn’t think straight.”

“You know the only thing on my mind when Cole dragged me into that party?” The truth was flying off my lips before I even thought about what I was telling him.

“No,” Alex said tentatively. “What?”

“What is Alex going to think?”

“Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

“No,” I said, softening the tone of my voice. “I just want you to know that I was.”

“Was what?”

“
Thinking
of you.”

The truth was, ever since our kiss, the thought of Alex made my stomach flutter. The frustrating part was that I couldn’t work out
why
. There was no denying that Alex was good looking—he had one of those adorable smiles that could make anyone grin—but I never felt that whole body-on-fire thing around him, like I did when I was near a certain someone else. At the same time, Alex was caring and dependable. I felt like he was someone I had known for my entire life, like I was home.

“I was horrible,” he said, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe it himself. When I didn’t respond, he looked up at me. “Do you think you’ll be able to forgive me?”

“I do forgive you, Alex. I understand that you weren’t purposely trying to be mean to me. You saw Cole and me together, and you thought that whole thing with Mary was happening all over again.”

At this he said, “But?”

“But it happened yesterday. The wound is still a little raw.”

“Right,” Alex said, biting his lip. We were both quiet for a moment, but then he perked up. “Can I try to make it up to you?”

“It depends,” I responded with the smallest of smiles. “What’s the proposal?”

“Well, once we got back from the hospital, I went to the library,” he said, grabbing a movie case off the tray that I hadn’t noticed until now. “After the party last night I couldn’t sleep, so I finished reading
A
Midsummer
Night’s Dream
. I rented one of the film adaptations thinking maybe we could watch it together.”

It was so thoughtful that I finally let myself grin. “I guess that wouldn’t be too painful,” I said, pretending to be indifferent.

“Awesome, where’s your laptop?”

It didn’t take long for Alex to set up the movie and settle onto my bed. When the opening act began he was still tense, and his whole body went stiff when I accidentally bumped his shoulder, but once the action of the play started, he relaxed. By the end of the movie, my head was resting on his chest.

“So what’d ya think?” I asked, when the credits came on.

“Hmm?” Alex’s fingers were running through my hair, and every time he took a breath I felt his chest rise and fall.

“Did you like it?”

“Honestly,” he said, his hand coming to a rest, “I didn’t pay much attention.”

“What?” I sat up so I could look at him. “Why not?”

“Because something else was distracting me,” he said. Before I could ask him what, he went on. “Can we talk about something?”

A worried expression covered his face, but his hand reached up again to touch my hair and he tucked my bangs behind my ear. I felt the calluses on his fingers as they glided over my skin and I shivered. It was like part of me knew what he was going to say, and as I nodded, my heart started to pound in my chest. The room was so quiet that I was positive he could hear it.

“Jackie,” he began, and his voice was serious, as if he were giving an important speech. I watched his lips move as he said my name. In the light of my room, they looked smooth and sculpted, and they left me thinking about that day on the beanbags. “I know this is going to be a stupid question, but I have to try anyway. At that party, when I saw you standing with Cole, the reason I was so pissed wasn’t just because of the whole Mary thing. I was mad at myself for being too late. I thought Cole beat me to it.”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Hold on, I’m getting to that.” At this, he took a breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I should have asked you this the other day—you know, after we played Mario Kart.” He paused again, his face going red. Then in a rush he said, “Jackie, will you be my girlfriend?”

There it was, the question I’d feared since our kiss because I didn’t know how to respond. But now that I heard it, I suddenly knew what my decision was. There was something so comforting about being with Alex. He was someone I could let my guard down around. Last night at the party I thought I had lost that, and now I wasn’t going to give it up again.

I answered him with my lips.

***

I was almost positive that Parker was stalking me the next morning. Normally she made an effort to avoid me, sometimes even leaving a room if I came in, but at breakfast she sat down right next to me. While I was in the bathroom straightening my hair, she came in and spent ten minutes brushing her teeth. Later that day, I opened my bedroom door and found her lingering in the hallway.

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. “What are you up to, Parker?”

She smirked, and two dimples appeared on her cheeks. “Waiting.”

“For what?” I asked.

“The wrath of Cole,” was her only response, and I had no clue what she meant until I heard the fighting. “Oh man,” Parker complained when she heard the angry shouts. “I was hoping he was going to go all Hulk on you, not Alex.”

She rushed down the stairs toward the sound of the voices, and I followed quickly after her, but by the time we reached the living room George was already pulling Cole and Alex apart.

“What is wrong with you two?” he demanded, glaring at both of his sons. He had a tight grip on both of their shirts as he held them away from each other. Alex was sporting a bloody lip but had a smug smile on his face, while Cole looked like he was going to explode.

“He started it,” Alex said. “Went all crazy and just attacked me out of nowhere. No clue what I did to piss him off.” From the pleased tone of his voice, I knew Alex wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“Well?” George asked, turning to Cole. “Is that true?”

“He was being a punk.”

“And that counts as a good reason to punch your brother? God, Cole, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately,” George said and shook his head. “If this happens again, you’re going to be mucking the horse stalls for the next month. You hear me?”

Cole nodded his head and George released both boys. When he was gone, Cole got right back up in Alex’s face. “You think you’re so cool now, don’t you?” he hissed. “Just remember, you only took the first round. We both know from experience that I always win.”

The grin on Alex’s face faltered, and I saw something dark flash in his eyes.

“Guys?” I asked hesitantly, but as soon as Cole heard my voice he was gone, storming out of the room without another word.

“Dammmnn,” I heard Lee say.

Turning around, I found that most of the boys had gathered behind me to watch the scene.

“Shit,” Isaac hissed back. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“You lose,” Lee told his brother. “Pay up.”

Isaac dug into his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a twenty and slapped it into his brother’s hand with a scowl. Danny was standing next to him, and I noticed that his usually blank face was covered in surprise. It gave me the feeling that this fight was somehow my fault, and as dread started to lace my veins, I went over to him.

“What the heck just happened?” I whispered.

Danny shook his head, and I thought that he wasn’t going to tell me, but then he grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me out onto the deck where we wouldn’t be overheard. He explained that last night, Alex had bragged about me being his girlfriend to everyone except Cole. It was like he was purposely trying to entice his older brother, and when Cole found out in the morning, Alex got the reaction he was looking for.

Cole was furious, and he spent the rest of Sunday out in the garage, working on his car.

The next day at school, Alex was no better. When class ended and we walked out of anatomy together, he pulled me against his locker and kissed me hard, his hand weaving behind my back so he could hold me against his body. In the moment, I thought he was being romantic, but when he pulled away, I caught him glancing over my shoulder. Following his gaze, I saw Mary standing with her group of friends, a killer glare on her face.

Lunchtime was a headache. Riley, Heather, and Skylar bombarded Alex and me with questions the moment we sat down. They grilled us for the entire thirty minutes that we had to eat, and while Alex didn’t seem to mind, I just wanted the news of us dating to die down so things could go back to how they used to be. Kim, the only one I could count on to act normal, never showed up.

By the time school was over, I was so exhausted that I took a nap, something that I never allowed myself to do. I ended up sleeping for so long that when it was time to actually go to bed, I couldn’t fall asleep. That’s why, even thought it was well past midnight, I sat straight up in bed when I heard the knock on my door.

“Jackie, you still awake?” Alex whispered, peeking in.

“Uh-huh,” I answered.

“Can I come in?” he asked again even more quietly.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, sitting up. “What’s up?”

He closed the door quietly and tiptoed over to my bed. I looked at the clock. It was already midnight.

“Do you have any black clothes?” Alex asked me.

“Somewhere in my closet,” I said, nodding my head. “Why?”

“You’re going to have to dig them out,” he said, a grin spreading across his face.

“What for?” I asked, but I headed over to my closet anyway. I searched through a few long-sleeved shirts until I found my old Hawks sweater with my name stitched into the pocket.

“The guys all voted, and we decided to let you come along on our little end-of-the-year tradition.”

“And that is?” I asked, pulling on black pants.

“We always toilet-paper the principal’s house.”

***

“Shhhh,” Isaac whispered as everyone crowded into Lee’s and his room later. Alex explained that his cousins’ room was the best for sneaking out because of the giant oak tree right by the window.