My Life With the Walter Boys (13 page)

“It doesn’t work like that,” Alex replied and snatched the mouse from my hand. Then, making my decision for me, he clicked on the human race. “The game is ongoing. It never ends.”

“Wait. You can’t win?” I said with a frown. “What’s the point of playing, then?”

“This isn’t like Monopoly or Candy Land—the point of the game is to improve your character.”

“Okay, whatever,” I said, taking the mouse back from him. I clicked on the fae, a willowy creature with pastel-colored wings. “But I don’t want to be human. That’s boring.”

I wasn’t very good at
Gathering of Gods
. Everything moved so fast, and Alex would shout confusing instructions at me such as, “Employ your fire shield now!” or “Not that fire shield, your other one!” Still, after an hour and a half of struggling, I increased my character’s experience level from one to three. I was quite pleased with myself, but Alex wasn’t very optimistic.

“Definitely not a natural,” he said, as he logged out of the game, “but I’ll make a gamer out of you yet.”

“I doubt it,” I sighed, collecting my anatomy material. I’d wasted a good chunk of my study time trying to learn the game, and as a result, I knew I would be up late reviewing all my notes. “Thanks, though. I had fun.”

The door swung open before he could respond.

“Hey, Alex, I want to talk to you,” Cole said, strolling into the room. When he saw me sitting at the computer desk, he stopped. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Um, yeah,” I replied.

“I guess I’ll have to come back later,” he said, turning to leave as if I’d caused some huge inconvenience.

“No, it’s okay,” I said, jumping to my feet. “We were just finishing up anyway.”

“Thanks for helping me study,” said Alex as he watched me pack up my satchel.

“That didn’t count as studying,” I told him with a laugh. “I need to spend at least another four hours on this.”

“You’re crazy,” Alex said as he handed me my notebook. “That was the most time I’ve spent on school, like, ever.”

“Then I’m glad I could help,” I said, offering him a smile. “See you tomorrow.”

“Night, Jackie,” he said as I turned to leave.

Cole was watching me from the doorway, his face blank. When I reached him, he didn’t move.

“Cole,” I said, raising an eyebrow. He stared at me for a moment longer before stepping aside and letting me leave. As I slipped out into the hallway, he slammed the door shut behind me.

***

The dream kept me up again. As I slipped downstairs toward the kitchen, I realized that I was addicted to Katherine’s warm-milk-and-honey remedy. Whenever I couldn’t sleep, I would make a cup and sit at the kitchen table, nursing the drink until my eyelids were heavy. I liked to linger downstairs with my mug instead of going back to my room, because there was always the chance that I would run into Danny.

My ability to creep down the messy stairs improved, but normally he heard me coming and would disappear before I got to the living room. I always knew when I’d scared him off. The TV would be turned on to some late-night crime show, and snack food would be sitting on the coffee table. When the TV wasn’t on, I knew he hadn’t come down and I would sit in the kitchen with the lights off, hoping to catch him if he appeared.

But tonight was different. When I tiptoed into the living room, Danny was still sitting on the couch, his hand in a bag of potato chips. I stood at the edge of the carpet, staring in disbelief. He glanced over at me for a moment, but his eyes quickly flicked back to the drama on the screen. Not wanting to spook him, I slowly backed into the kitchen before proceeding to make my milk and honey.

After the microwave dinged, I used the sleeve of my robe to pull out my steaming drink and headed in the direction of the TV. I knew that Danny would be gone by now, and I knew I would have to turn it off. To my surprise, he was still there watching his show.

“You going to sit down?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the screen as I hovered at the edge of the room.

“I—um, sure,” I stammered, completely caught off guard. I figured sitting next to him on the couch would push my luck, so I took a spot in the big armchair, folding my legs underneath myself as I settled down. We stayed like that for the next few episodes, quietly enjoying each other’s company while neither of us said a word.

It was almost four o’clock when I realized that I had dozed off. The TV was dark and Danny was gone, but he must have turned on the small reading lamp for me because the room was bathed in a soft yellow glow. Happy that I was making progress with Danny, I stayed there for a moment, smiling to myself before heading up to bed.

***

“New York!” Something poked my face. “If you don’t wake up, I’m not going to take you to school.”

Groaning, I cracked my eyes open. Cole’s blurry outline hovered over me, his finger ready to jab my face again.

“Go away,” I told him and rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. It was too early to deal with his crap. “Who said I wanted to go with you anyway?”

“Fine,” I heard him say, “but the guys already left, so if you miss your anatomy test, don’t blame me.”

“I know you think you’re so funny, Cole—” I started to say, opening my eyes again to glance at the clock. I’d set my alarm for six, leaving me plenty of time to iron my clothes and shower, but my heart jumped when I saw the neon green digits—7:26. “No, no, no!” I cried, throwing the covers off me.

“I told you,” Cole said, backing away as I started to rush around my room.

“This can’t be happening.” There was no way I would be able to get ready in time. My hair alone took half an hour to straighten.

“Chill, Jackie. Just throw on some sweats and let’s roll.”

“Throw on some sweats?” I hissed, swinging around to glare at him. “Have you ever seen me wear sweats?”

“Not really. You normally look like some kind of preppie going to a tea party.”

“That’s because I don’t own any! I’m never going to have enough time to iron an outfit.”

“Okay, okay,” said Cole, holding up his hands to calm me down. “Wait here. I have an idea.” He hurried back a few minutes later carrying a pair of jeans and a jersey. “Try this. It’s a pair of my mom’s old jeans. They might be a bit too big, but they should work.”

“I can’t wear this to school,” I said a minute later as I looked in the mirror. “I look like a slob.” The jersey swamped me, so large that it almost reached my knees. I tried tucking the fabric up, but it slipped down a second later. The jeans were even worse.

“Jackie, it’s only one day. Nobody’s going to care.”

“Well, what about my hair?” I said, trying to arrange my usual ribbon. My fingers were shaking because I was so frustrated and my bangs wouldn’t lie right. “It’s a mess.”

“Stop,” Cole said, grabbing my hands. “I like the curls. It’s natural.”

His words came out so softly and easily. Not forced, like he was telling me something just to make me feel better. I opened my mouth, even though I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to say, but a horn honked outside, cutting me off.

“We need to go.” Grabbing my satchel, Cole pulled me from my room and out of the house. Then we were inside the shiny, black Porsche, speeding toward school.

“Jackie, you remember my friend Nick,” Cole said, twisting in the front so he could see me.

“Hey.” Nick nodded his head in greeting.

“Yeah, hi,” I muttered, as I stared out the window.

For the next few minutes, Cole tried to start a conversation with me, but I responded with one-word answers. I was too flustered. Finally he gave up and turned to Nick.

“So, you coming to the warehouse today?”

Curious, I turned to watch Cole.

“I don’t know,” Nick said, glancing at me as if this was something I shouldn’t be hearing. “Do we have supplies?”

“Plenty,” Cole responded. “Kate scored huge last night.”

“I suppose,” Nick said, still not sounding entirely convinced. “We’re not taking my car, though.”

“Might be able to snag the truck keys.” Cole pulled out his phone. “I’ll text Isaac.”

We were coming up on Valley View High now. I could see the building at the top of the hill in the distance. Cole’s fingers were punching away, but Nick still looked uncomfortable.

“Don’t invite anyone else, okay?” Nick said, his eyes flickering toward me again. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Hearing this, I focused my attention back out the window. I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it sounded like trouble. I kept my mouth shut until the car was parked.

“Thanks a bunch, Nick,” I said, throwing open my door. By now, the parking lot was mostly empty, and only the kids who didn’t care if they were late lingered outside. “See you guys later.”

I tore across the pavement without waiting for them, and thankfully, I managed to make it to class as the final bell rang. Slamming my bag down on the table, I turned to Alex. He was staring down at his textbook, pretending to cram in some last-minute studying, but his eyes weren’t moving over the page.

“What the heck was up with this morning?” I demanded.

“What do you mean?” he said, not bothering to look up.

“You guys left without me,” I said as I pulled a handful of pencils from my bag. “I had to get a ride from Cole’s friend Nick.”

Alex bit his lip. “Cole said you wanted to go with him.”

“Are you for real? When did he say that?”

“At breakfast,” he told me.

“Unbelievable,” I said, gritting my teeth. Cole was in serious trouble.

“Sorry?”

“Alex, my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning. Cole must have messed with it, because he didn’t wake me up until
after
you guys were already gone.”

“Really?” Alex asked, finally looking up at me. When he saw how irritated I was, relief washed over his face. “Thank God. I thought you gave in to him.”

“I didn’t. And by the way, I’m totally mad at you,” I said, half joking. “I didn’t have any time to get ready this morning. Do you see what I’m wearing?”

Alex looked down, and his face froze when he spotted the jersey. “Where did you get that?”

“Cole loaned it to me. I didn’t have anything else to wear.”

“He
loaned
it to you?” Alex asked, as if that was the most insane thing he’d ever heard.

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?” I asked. “It’s just an old jersey.”

“But that’s Cole’s football jersey. I haven’t seen it since…” Alex trailed off, too shocked to finish his sentence.

Suddenly a conversation I had with Nathan came back to me.
He
used
to
be
the
best
receiver
in
the
state
until
he
got
tackled
wrong
and
broke
his
leg…

“Since the game he got hurt,” I finished for him.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Nathan mentioned it to me when I first got here.”

“Jackie,” Alex said slowly, still shaking his head in disbelief. “The thing you don’t understand is that football was Cole’s life. After he lost his scholarship, he stopped talking about the game completely. It was like he’d never played at all.”

“And?”

“And for him to just give you his jersey…” Alex said. “I don’t even know what that means.”

Neither did I.

Mr. Piper appeared at the front of the room, clapping his hands to get out attention. “All right, everyone, listen up!” he said. “Put everything away. Books and notes under the table. It’s time to take this test.”

***

It was the easiest test I had ever taken. Even though I was distracted by what Alex told me, I was able to get through all the questions in thirty minutes. If that was any indication of what my examinations would be like, these last few months were going to be a breeze. But for some reason, the thought didn’t lighten my mood.

As my morning went on, I became more and more self-conscious about wearing Cole’s jersey. I almost asked Heather if I could borrow something. I had seen the backup outfits she kept in her locker in case someone showed up wearing the same clothes as her. But if I borrowed something, I’d have to tell the girls about what happened this morning and they would freak out.

Intent on asking Cole exactly why he let me wear the jersey, I arrived at math five minutes early so I could ambush him before class started. As I stood outside the door waiting for him, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“God,” I gasped, spinning around. “You scared me to death.”

“Sorry.” It was Mary, Alex’s ex-girlfriend, and the way her eyes narrowed made it seem as if she wasn’t sorry at all. “You’re Jackie, right?”

“Um, yes…” I said back.

“My name is Mary Black.”

“Nice to meet you, Mary,” I responded slowly and calmly. “Can I help you with something?”

“I really like your outfit,” she said, sarcasm tainting her voice. “Very…cas-chic. Is it part of your mother’s new collection?”

“I—what?”

“Oh wait,” said Mary, a sick grin appearing on her face. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” She took a step toward me, her smile transforming into a glare. “Listen to me, new girl. Stay away from Alex. He’s mine.”

I was so shocked that I just stared, openmouthed.

“You got it?” she snapped angrily when I didn’t respond. I nodded my head. “Good.” She smirked. “It was so nice to meet you, Jackie.”

As she walked away, I could only think of one thing. Not Mary’s threat or Alex. Not even how angry I was with Cole, because it didn’t matter. All I could think of were those four, horrible words:
She’s dead, isn’t she?

“Whoa, is the world ending?” I heard a familiar voice behind me. “New York skipping class?”

I was still outside the math room, sitting against a row of lockers, but now the hall was empty and class was in progress. Never in my life had I skipped a class, but Mary’s words were crippling. It had taken nearly five minutes of heavy breathing just to contain my tears.

Looking up, I saw Cole coming down the hall toward me. At first I thought he was arriving at class late, but then I noticed that his letter jacket was slung over his shoulder and his backpack was nowhere in sight.

“I’m not skipping,” I told him quietly. “Just a little bit late.”

Cole stared at me for a second before squatting down next to me. “What’s wrong, Jackie?” he asked.

“Besides the fact that I’m pissed at you for messing with my alarm clock?” I said, brushing his hand off my shoulder. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Good for you,” I said, burying my face in my hands, “but that still doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to you about it.” Why did he always show up when I was on the verge of tears?

“If you don’t want to tell me,” I heard Cole say, “that’s fine. But at least let me make you feel better.”

“Why?” I mumbled. I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying anymore. I was just trying to get through the conversation so he would leave me alone.

“It seems to be my job lately. I should add it to the description next to devastatingly handsome. Cole Walter—professional cheerer-upper and sexiest man of the year.”

“I’m not in the mood, Cole,” I said, sighing.

“Okay, I’ll be serious,” he said, swinging the truck keys in his hand. “Just come with me, and I promise that I can help you forget.”

Startled by his words, I glanced up. Unlike the last time Cole found me an emotional wreck, this time I knew he was talking about my family. His face was not unkind, and the pity that I was afraid to see wasn’t there. It was such a relief that I barely understood the words that came out of my mouth next.

“You mean cut class?” I asked. “With you?”

He nodded. “Why not? You’re already twenty minutes late.”

I looked at my watch and saw he was right. “I don’t know…” I said, not really knowing what to do.

“Come on, Jackie. I promise it will be fun.” He gave me a puppy-dog look.
Damn
those
gorgeous
eyes.

In my right mind I would never cut class, but after what had just happened with Mary, the thought of being whisked away by Cole was a nice distraction. “Fine,” I said, climbing to my feet. “Lead the way.”

As soon as I spotted the truck and the people sitting in the back, I remembered the conversation I’d heard between Cole and Nick this morning. Sure enough, Cole’s friend was leaning against the tailgate, and I was starting to get the impression that the frown on his face was a permanent feature. Besides Nick, I couldn’t remember the names of anyone else, but they were all friends that sat with Cole at lunch.

“Cole, it’s your turn to drive,” said one of the girls as we approached. She had dirty blond hair with a strip dyed hot pink, and suddenly I remembered that she had come over to the Walters’ house this past week to swim with Cole.

“I never would have guessed, Kate,” he said, opening the tailgate so I could climb up. “Considering we’re taking my car and all.” Then he held out his hand and offered me a boost up.

“If you’re driving,” I said quietly, so the others wouldn’t hear, “I’d like to ride up front.”

“Of course you would.” The satisfied smirk on his face almost made me change my mind, but I didn’t want to sit with all the strangers. Walking around the side of the truck, I opened the passenger door and climbed in. The truck felt strangely empty without the rest of the Walters in it, but Cole didn’t seem to notice as he got in next to me.

I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t what Kate offered me after she slid open the back window from the bed of the truck.

“Want one?” she asked me, holding out a beer.

“No,” I replied instinctively. I didn’t even stop to consider it.

“Yes, she does.” Cole grabbed it from Kate and dropped it in my lap. “A cold beer always fixes a bad day.”

“What are you doing?” I hissed at him as he started the truck.

“Making you feel better.” He reached for the radio and cranked up the music.

The thought of unbuckling my seat belt and jumping out crossed my mind, because I didn’t want to get in any trouble. But before I could make my decision, Cole put the truck in reverse and we were moving. At first, as we ripped out of the parking lot, I couldn’t breathe. What had I gotten myself into? I let a girl I didn’t even know affect me with one sentence. I’d spun out of control and now I was in an even worse situation.

But then I turned to Cole. He had the window rolled down, his arm hanging out over the side of the door, and as the song we were listening to hit the chorus, he started to shout the lyrics at the top of his lungs. I heard a few hollers join in from the back, and somehow their mood was contagious. Cole smiled, the warm sun hitting his face just right, and then I was smiling too.

“You gonna drink that?” Cole asked, pointing at the beer in my lap.

Glancing down, I stared at the can. It was melting in the warm air, trickles of cool water raced down the aluminum. Skipping school was bad enough; I didn’t need to add underage drinking to my list of crimes. But then again, I was already here…

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I said and popped open my first ever can of beer.

***

Sal’s diner was near the outskirts of town. Nick insisted on eating lunch there, because he didn’t want to get caught skipping school. The service was slow even though we were the only customers, and by the time we finished our greasy burgers, my English class was starting. Next we stopped at Kate’s house so she could grab more beer that she had hidden under her front porch. Our final destination was an abandoned warehouse with boarded-up windows, an hour outside of town, and when we finally arrived school was letting out. I didn’t know what I was expecting—maybe someone’s lake house or hunting cabin, but not somewhere so creepy. Cole assured me plenty of people hung out here when they skipped school, and that a few great parties had even been thrown here.

I didn’t discount that. On the inside, the space looked as if many generations of high school students had used it. The first thing I noticed was the layer of graffiti—hearts with initials covered every inch of the walls. There were crates and camping chairs to sit on, an assortment of plastic coolers, and even an old ping-pong table. In the corner of the room was a pile of sleeping bags and blankets, along with a box that had the words “Survival Kit” written across it in Sharpie. Inside was a collection of supplies: batteries, candles, plastic cups, a bottle opener, Band-Aids, and a flashlight.

Someone had taken the time to decorate the place, probably for one of the parties. Streamers hung from the ceiling and Christmas lights lined the walls, but they didn’t work because the building didn’t have electricity.

I had no idea how long we’d been at the warehouse, but almost all of the sun had disappeared, and a battery-powered lantern in the middle of the floor was our only source of light. The dull illumination cast shadows on our faces, making everyone look sharp and spooky. I’d lost track of how many beers were running through my system, but they were enough to make my head buzz.

“I don’t think so, guys,” I said slowly, trying to clear my mind and concentrate. It was hard to think when my head felt so heavy.

“Oh, come on,” Nick said with so much enthusiasm that he knocked over the row of empty bottles next to him. “You have to play!” He was quite a different person when he was drunk. More friendly.

The group was trying to get me to play spin the bottle, and I felt uncomfortable.

Cole had introduced me to everyone when we arrived—two girls and four guys—but they still felt like strangers. There was Kate, the girl with the pink streak in her hair, and her friend Molly. Then, not including Nick, two of Cole’s friends from the football team had come. I couldn’t remember their names, maybe Ryan and Jim, but they also could have been Bryan and Tim. Then there was Molly’s little brother Joe who had a lip ring and insisted on being called Jet.

Besides the fact that everyone here was older than me, I didn’t want to play spin the bottle for one huge reason. I had never been kissed. Did I really want my first one to be some sloppy, tipsy train-wreck with a boy I didn’t know?

“I probably shouldn’t,” I said, shaking my head.

“Sounds like you’re thinking too much,” Kate said, grabbing me another can. It was her personal mission to make sure that there was a drink in everyone’s hands at all times. When I didn’t take it from her, she stuffed it into the cup holder on my chair.

“Maybe we should do something else.” It was Cole. He was lounging back in one of the camping chairs, and the way the light from the lantern hit his face, he looked sexy, dangerous.

“Why not? You love spin the bottle.”

“I do, but I don’t think it’s Jackie’s kind of game.”

“What do you mean, not my kind of game?”

“You’re a Goody Two-Shoes.”

“Am not.”

“Prove it.”

In the back of my mind, I knew he was baiting me, but the alcohol made words that I normally wouldn’t say come out of my mouth. “Oh, you’re so on.”

We all sat cross-legged on the floor in a circle and placed an empty bottle in the middle. Kate spun first, and when it landed on Ryan-Bryan, she laughed and spun again.

“Hey!” Ryan-Bryan complained. “You can’t do that.”

“I’m instigating an ex-girlfriend rule,” she said. “I’ve kissed you enough to know never to do it again.”

“What are you talking about? I’m a great kisser.”

“Ryan, you’re a biter. Seriously, what was with all the tooth action? It’s not like my face is a midnight snack.”

Jet was up next, and when he spun the bottle, I silently prayed that it wouldn’t land on me. When it came to a stop on his sister Molly, they both made a face, and he ended up kissing Kate instead. I was beginning to understand that people just kissed whomever they wanted instead of the person the bottle actually landed on.

Then it was Cole’s turn, and the bottle landed on Nick.

“Ah, hell no,” Cole said, looking at his friend in disgust. Everyone laughed. “I’m going again,” he said, giving the bottle another spin. It twirled on the floor in front of us, and I felt my pulse quicken. Did I want Cole to kiss me? Sure, he was attractive. There was no denying that, but I just couldn’t figure him out. What if everything Alex said about him was true? Even worse, what if I was falling for him anyway? What did that say about the kind of person I was?

When the bottle started slowing, making one last circle, I realized that it was going to land on me. However, just as the nose pointed in my direction, the bottle wobbled one last time and finally stopped between Molly and me.

“Well, now what do you do?” Jim-Tim asked Cole as we all stared at the bottle. It was quiet for a moment, but then Cole answered.

“I get to pick,” he said, before sweeping across the circle with a quick step and crashing his lips onto mine.

For one small moment I let him kiss me, his body pressed up against mine, and a wave of heat washed over us. Then my dulled senses kicked in. I could hear Riley’s voice in my head:
That’s boy’s gonna eat you alive, and you won’t see it coming…

Frightened, I shoved Cole away. “Get off,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Cole laughed and moved back to his spot across the circle. “It’s okay, Jackie,” he said, winking at me. “I got what I wanted.”

It was quiet. Everyone looked back and forth between Cole and me as the boom box crackled in the background.

“God, Cole,” Kate said, breaking the silence. “You’re such a pig.”

“That’s not what you were saying the other night,” he shot back, without looking away from me.

“Dammnnn!” Nick jeered, covering his mouth with his hand. All of the guys were snickering.

Kate said something back, but it was like my ears had popped, and I could hardly hear what she was saying. Cole was still watching me with a look that I couldn’t figure out, at least not with how my head was spinning. I needed fresh air. With some difficulty, I pushed myself to my feet.

“Jackie?” someone said, but the words were muffled, barely there.

Standing up, I realized that I was drunker than I’d originally thought. My head was throbbing as everything around me reeled. I made it to the door without falling over, even though my steps were unsteady at best. Turning the rusty handle, I pushed open the heavy door to the warehouse and stepped outside.

The pavement was uneven, broken up in chunks. As I made my way to the truck where I planned to curl up until everybody was ready to leave, I stumbled on a crack. Suddenly it was as if the earth had moved, slamming into me as I stood still, not the other way around. Laying face-first on the ground, I could taste a trickle of blood where I bit my lip, but I was too dizzy to feel the sharp bite. I rolled over onto my back and gazed up at the sky. The sun was lingering just below the horizon and the sky was royal purple, but the stars had already come out for the night. Never in my life had I seen so many clear, sparkling dots against the dark canvas.

It was then that I finally let the tears flow. I wasn’t crying because my knee was surely torn up and bloody. I wasn’t even crying because of Cole. The tears were for the people I missed. I wanted to hear my sister laugh at this horrible situation, my mom to yell at me for my bad behavior, and my dad to hold me tight as I cried.

The warehouse door slammed shut as someone followed me outside. The crunch of the gravel warned me of their approach, but I continued to stare up at the sky, water slowly leaking from my eyes. For the first time since arriving in Colorado, I didn’t care if someone saw me cry. I was too worn out.

“Jackie, are you okay?” I couldn’t see him since he was standing behind me, but I knew it was Cole.