My Life: The Musical (24 page)

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Even something tacky.

BwayPhil
: Tacky but profitable, right?

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Ha! It’s no Lion King, believe me—

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Show struggled to recoup, it’s got a big cast, makes it expensive to run.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Don’t imagine you know what recoup means.

BwayPhil
: Sure we do.

AURORAROX
: but six percent of the gross

AURORAROX
: must have added up

AURORAROX
: to something, right?

BwayPhil
: What we don’t know is whether we should call you Aurora,

BwayPhil
: or Mr. Smeave.

AURORAROX
: or maybe you’d prefer A.?

BwayPhil
: It’s a helluva fix you’re in, when you think about it . . .

SAVEMEFROMAURORA:

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: speechless

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: how did you . . . ?

BwayPhil
: Don’t ask too many questions, please.

AURORAROX
: hee hee

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: life passing before eyes

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: the internuts will have a field day

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: you have no idea what a catastrophe

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: head hurts, feeling dizzy

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: this is how people have strokes

BwayPhil
: RELAX! If you don’t want us to tell anyone, we won’t.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: You must want something. What do you want?

BwayPhil
: We just want to meet you.

AURORAROX
: and find out why you’ve been so unhappy with the show

BwayPhil
: Because we love it.

AURORAROX
: and we think you’re amazing

BwayPhil
: And we’ve been through a lot for the show.

AURORAROX
: A LOT

AURORAROX
: and it just would be nice to know

AURORAROX
: if it was all worth it.

BwayPhil
: That’s all.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: That’s all?

AURORAROX
: yes

BwayPhil
: Yes.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Damn.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: You had to go and say all the right things.

BwayPhil
: What do you say, Mr. Smeave?

AURORAROX
: please?

AURORAROX
: you can trust us

AURORAROX
: we didn’t tell anybody about your “hunch”

AURORAROX
: remember?

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Unlike some people! I could strangle that Marlena. What I get for being nice.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: But that’s water under the bridge, now.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: thinking

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Okay.

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: You know the Toys ‘R’ Us? The one in Times Square with the Ferris wheel inside?

BwayPhil
: Sure.

SAVEMFROMAURORA
: Four o’clock, upstairs by the animatronic dinosaur. If you bring anyone with you the deal’s off.

AURORAROX
: awesome!!! Thank you!!!!

BwayPhil
: How will we know you?

SAVEMEFROMAURORA
: Wear mittens. I’ll find you.

During the whole careening ride from Philip’s house to Emily’s, with Mark whooping and hollering at the wheel of the dinged-up but still drivable Winnebago, Emily had Philip recite the Rockville Centre train schedule. Mark had begged to drive them into the city, but the thought of him maneuvering the RV through Times Square was too terrifying to contemplate.

In theory it would work: they would catch the 3:02 into the city, meet SAVEME at four o’clock, then Emily would make the 6:39 from Penn Station back to Rockville Centre and be at school in plenty of time for the show. What an inconvenient night to be making her stage debut! She fully expected that the thrill of meeting Aurora—the
real
Aurora!—would knock every bit of Mr. Henderson’s
Fiddler
choreography out of her head, but she didn’t care. She could always fake some steps from the movie version; those she knew by heart.

There was a tiny element of risk in stopping at Emily’s house on the way to the train station, but the mitten thing seemed important and Philip didn’t have any at D-West. Besides, Emily’s parents were supposed to be at the lawyer’s office with Grandma Rose, so the house would be empty. They’d head in, grab the mittens, and be long gone before any parental interference could occur.

Mom, Dad, I know I’m grounded, but somebody incredibly important is going to meet me and Philip at an animatronic dinosaur in Times Square at four o’clock and can I go and please please have money for the train, please?

No. Grounded or not, it was better to just go and suffer the consequences. She could apologize later, beg forgiveness, be confined to her room for the rest of her life. This was too important.

Just to be sure, Mark let them off a block away and Emily had Philip go around the side of the house and peek in the window of the garage to see if the car was gone. It was. Only then did they approach the front door.

There was a small flower arrangement sitting on the steps, still wrapped in clear plastic and wrapping paper from the florist. Philip bent to pick it up.

“It’s probably for Grandma Rose,” Emily said. “Better leave it there.” She put her key in the lock and cautiously opened the door.

Lights off. Empty rooms. “All clear,” she said to Philip. “Keep an eye out while I get the mittens.”

Philip took up his post by the door as Emily trotted upstairs. She quickly found what she was looking for in the back of her closet, in a box marked
HATS & GLOVES
. Mrs. Pearl tended to be very organized about things like that. Emily raced downstairs again.

“Got ’em,” she said to Philip. “We’d better get out of here.” She was halfway out the door before he could stop her.

“Wait! The flowers are for you,” Philip said. “Look.”

“For me?” Emily reached for the card stapled to the top of the paper. “To Miss Emily Pearl,” the envelope read, in a familiar red script. Emily opened the card.

Emily,

Thank you for being an “A+” trouper! But Lorelei says her ankle is much better and she insists on performing tonight. See you at the show?

Mr. Henderson

She stared at the card in her hand. “What is it?” Philip asked.

“A miracle,” Emily said. “Hang on a minute. I just changed my mind about something.” She picked up the arrangement and carried it into the house, placing it prominently on the coffee table in the center of the living room. Then she turned back to Philip. “Can I borrow a Sharpie?”

Philip reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out one of his ever-present markers, and handed it to Emily. She turned the card over and wrote on the back.

Dear Mom & Dad,

I’m going into the city with Philip. Something has happened that is the most important thing that’s ever happened in my life. Not only that, but it is part of my spiritual journey. If you have any questions please call Rabbi Levin.

No time to explain but I hope you can trust me that it is the right thing to do.

She paused for a moment, then added:

Also, tell Grandma Rose that the cheerleader is a pro after all (see other side of card for details).

Love,
Emily

Emily put the card next to the flowers. “Okay,” she said. “Now we can go.”

“What’s the miracle?” Philip asked, puzzled.

Emily smiled. “I’m getting an A-plus in Mr. Henderson’s class.”

26

“THERE’S NO BUSINESS
LIKE SHOW BUSINESS”

Annie Get Your Gun

1946. Music and lyrics by Irving Berlin,
book by Herbert Fields and Dorothy Fields

Saturday. One performance left.

The animatronic T. rex on the third floor of Toys “R” Us was as big as a house, with bloodred eyes that stared right at you as the thing lurched around with lifelike, reptilian movements. To Emily it looked like it was about to burst out of the
Jurassic Park
exhibit, hurl itself down the escalators and through the plate-glass storefront, and go on a rampage through Times Square.

Every few minutes it roared, in deafening, floor-shaking surround sound. One would think the parents and nannies would know not to shove their two-year-olds up close to this thing, but apparently not.

“Rrrrrrrrroooowwwwwwwwwwwww!” roared the T. rex.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” screamed the children.

“I don’t know which is more frightening,” commented a man who stood near Philip and Emily. It was 3:59 and they were waiting, exactly as instructed. “The kids, or the dinosaur.”

“They’re just scared,” said Emily.

“Parents are so clueless sometimes,” said Philip.

“True,” said the man. He was short and round, in high-water pants, a green sports coat, and glasses. “Look how overdressed those kids are. I’d be cranky too if I were in a snowsuit. It’s so overheated in these stores.”

Emily and Philip both nodded as they scanned the crowds, looking for the very special person who was somewhere nearby. Emily tried hard not to envision the rotund little man dressed in a baby’s snowsuit, but it was futile.

“You think it’s hot?” the man said again.

“Yeah,” said Emily. He was kind of a weirdo. Maybe they should go wait in the next aisle. Anyone as fabulous as the real Aurora undoubtedly would be easy to spot, even from ten feet away.

“Then why,” the man asked, in a low, “gotcha” tone of voice, “are the two of you wearing
mittens
?”

Ever so slowly, Philip and Emily held up their mittened hands, like it was a stickup. “You must be Phil,” said the man. “And his faithful friend Roxy, I presume?”

“Oh my God,” said Emily. “Oh my God.”

Philip looked down at the man, unavoidably noticing the comb-over swirling around his bald spot. “Are you—Aurora?” Philip stammered.

“My name is Albert.” The man’s eyes darted around, rat-like. “Albert Smeave.”

“Rrrrrrrrroooowwwwwwwwwwwww!” bellowed the T. rex.

The only place to sit down in the whole store was on the Ferris wheel, so Albert bought a strip of tickets and the three of them climbed into one of the small, garish cars, each one shamelessly promoting a toy based on a television character or a television character based on a toy.

They boarded in the basement level of the store and soared around and around, swooping upward past the stuffed animals and the Hot Wheels, and lingering at the tippy-top right in front of the glass elevators filled with awestruck shoppers. The glass elevators went up and down, the Ferris wheel went round and round, and Philip felt like he might throw up.

“Thank you for buying the tickets, Mr. Smeave,” said Emily. She meant for the Ferris wheel, but Philip thought that this guy Smeave might well say the same to her.

Albert waved away her thanks. “Let’s be honest,” he said. “I’m a wealthy man. All because of
that show
.”

“Tell us,” said Emily as the wheel lurched them forward and up. “Tell us who you really are.”

Albert shrugged. “I’m just a guy from Illinois,” he said. “Aurora, Illinois. That’s my hometown. I was your average miserable kid, until I joined the drama club at school. It changed my life.”