My Immortal (13 page)

I clear my throat. "You may not care what I
think, or how I feel right now. But I care about how you feel and
what you are going through. I care because I love you, Shadow. I
love you as a friend, as a lover, as everything I crave. Please
don't resent me because we got caught--"

"Is that what you think?" he hisses. "That I
resent you?"

My mouth is open but I can't reply because
I'm shocked.

"I don't. It's not that, not at all. I have
told you a million times! You are too good for me. You're pure and
innocent and beautiful and I'm tainted, damaged, burned and
scarred."

"No," I say softly, reaching up to his face
and turning it towards me. "You're none of those things. Not at
all." I smile. "When I look at you, I see a boy with a good heart,
who has endured more than anyone and is yet still alive. He is
determined and strong, he will protect me no matter what. He is
honest and respectable…when he is not feeling sorry for himself. He
has the most beautiful eyes I have ever imagined, and I used to
dream of them when I was little. I see someone who has scars to
prove that what didn't kill him made him stronger, and Shadow, you
have a prophesy and you are going to rise up out of the depths of
the pits of your personal hell and you are going to overcome." A
tear trails down my cheek but I'm smiling, in awe of this demon I
love.

"It's going to be big. You have a terrible
past, but you're going to have an even better future, and that's
what you need to focus on."

His eyes flash and his nostrils flare. A
heartbreakingly familiar expression crosses his face. It's the one
that I used to see when he was an innocent half-ling hiding from
the authorities but professing his dying love for an angel.

I see it when he accepts something in his
eyes and everything seems a little more positive. His eyes don't
seem so lifeless and dull, now they are filling with hope again.
Determination.

"You saved me, Shadow, and now I want to save
you too."

His eyes flick down to my lips and excitement
and hope flare in my chest.

Then he looks away and shakes his head.

"I want to see myself the way you do, but I
just don't. I can't allow myself to start hoping for the same
things. I was blinded by love when I thought we could be together,
but now I see that there is no way, it's not possible. By the gods,
I am having a child with Jezebel and who knows how many other
girls!"

I cannot take this rejection after pouring
out my heart and soul to him. I don't want it to be but it's like a
slap in the face telling me that he's having a child with her.

The look on his face shows that he didn't
mean to say all of those words to me and for once he looks worried
and afraid.

I stand up quickly and he reaches for my
hand. I jerk it away roughly and turn and run as fast as my shaky
legs will carry me.

You never loved me
, I send as I run
towards the darkness with all my strength.
You can't stop loving
me so easily if you ever loved me at all.

• Chapter Ten
  

I run through the woods, not sure how I manage
not to hit a tree. Limbs smack me in the face and it's a pleasant
sting with all of this pain radiating through my heart and
soul.

I look back over my shoulder and cannot see
the light from the fire any longer. The woods are creepy with
sounds I am unfamiliar with and I do my best not to think of the
Hell Horde being anywhere around, but knowing it's entirely
possible.

I want to fall to my knees and yell out my
agony and frustration and pain. I seriously contemplate doing it
but something grabs me from behind, turns me to face them, and with
speed so fast it could only be one of
those
, backs me into a
tree.

My speeding heart stutters and thumps
pitifully when I see that it's Shadow in all of his glory.

And man. what. glory.

Relief washes through me when I notice his
huge, beautiful wings arcing over his shoulders and out all around
us, but also confusion because I thought they severed them.

His wounds from the arrows are completely
healed now, nothing more than a pink scar, and I know it's because
of my blood.

"I-" I try to speak but his head angles down
and turns slightly before his lips silence me mid sentence.

His lips devour mine and he licks the crease
between my lips. I gasp and he swallows the sound. His tongue
invades my mouth and all thought leaves my mind. I certainly don't
remember his kisses being so passionate. So wonderful and exotic
and forceful.

We plunder each others mouths, putting every
ounce of angst and hurt and need that we have felt since we have
been apart into it.

He breaks the kiss and we both breathe
heavily, staring at each other with so many unspoken words.

But the air crackles with positive energy
this time. With hope and excitement. With undeniable chemistry.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Bayla," he
breathes. His lips almost touch mine and it causes me to tingle all
over. He cups my face in his hands more gently than I thought him
capable and his thumb rubs over my lips. "You are right, I'm an
idiot."

I frown, confused, about to tell him that I
never called him an idiot.

"I know, you didn't say it but I am telling
you. I. am. an. idiot. A big one. When you walked through my cell
door in the dungeon, I should have ran to you, wrapped you in my
arms, and kissed you. I should have kissed you like I meant it,
showed you how much I never stopped loving you. I thought of you
every waking moment. You kept me alive, Bayla. You're my
everything! And I know I
don't
deserve you, especially after
how big of a moron and a jerk I have been to you.
But
, if
you will have me, I will love you like no one has or ever will love
anyone else again, from this moment on."

Wow. There is such a ragged plea in his tone,
it causes me to tremble all the way down to my core.

I stare into his eyes hoping to reach him to
his soul like he can do me when he searches my eyes.

His eyes fill with red liquid and a blood red
tear streams down one cheek.

He cries blood
, I think to myself,
absolutely loving that for some reason. I am so fascinated by
him.

"Yes, I will have you, Shadow. I need you,
like the air I breathe. There has
f
been anyone else for
me."

He kisses me again, so hard that it bumps my
head against the tree. He smiles sheepishly when I grunt.

"Sorry."

I smile. "I will forgive you if you kiss me
like that more often."

"Mmm, my pleasure."
Literally.

He pulls my face back to his and with a moan
he continues his expert assault of my mouth.

He tastes and feels so much better than I
ever imagined he would after all of this time. His body presses
tightly into mine to try to become as close as possible.

He feels like home to me; I am made for him
and he fits against me like a puzzle piece.

Breathing heavily, he pulls back and has a
serious expression on his face, with half lidded eyes. His hands
move to my shoulders and I am oh so aware of everywhere they touch
me.

"Mate with me, Alexia. Be mine and only mine,
forever."

Yes, I thought you would never ask!
I
think, trying not to direct that thought towards him for him to
hear.

But I gather my wits and try not to sound
overly anxious.

Instead, something else comes out of my mouth
though. "Now?"

My heart thumps wildly in my chest and all of
my pressure points. His eyes tick to my neck.

"Yes, now. I don't want to wait another
minute. I belong with you."

"Wh-what about Jezebel?"

He scoffs. "What about her, baby? I will
raise the child as my own, but I will never love her. It's you for
me or no one at all."

I run my hands up his tattooed arms over his
shoulders then down to his chest. I lightly touch the silver hoops
in his nipples. I can't see much of anything in the darkness but I
know he can. Plus, this teases my senses on a whole new, delightful
level to just
feel
him.

"I want nothing more than to be yours,
Shadow," I inhale shakily and release it just the same. "Make me
yours…"

His eyes close briefly and relief is etched
on his face. His arms rub mine down to my hands and my hairs stand
on end after his caress. When his hands grab mine, he lifts one to
his lips and kisses it so very softly.

"Don't be nervous," he whispers. "I will only
focus on making it good for you."

Heat rushes up to my neck and face. I swallow
thickly at the thought that put in my mind. "I'm not nervous…I'm
just anxious and excited."

His hands skim softly up my stomach then
around to my back over my back where my wings lie trembling
underneath. He pulls the boy's shirt over my head and unclasps my
bra with one hand. His expertise with this turns my thoughts
unbidden to how he got so good at it, compared to how Gabriel
struggled with it so long ago.

I push these thoughts away, desperate not to
ruin this for us.

He is still not wearing a shirt but I
clumsily try to unbutton his ratty, tattered and torn pants.

When we have our clothes off, we stand facing
each other. I feel his silky, warm and muscular skin while he
peruses my naked body with his red night vision.

This seems entirely unfair.

When his eyes are finished devouring me, he
speaks in a gruff voice filled with desire. "You have the most
beautiful body I have ever seen. Perfect for me."

Yeah right
. I am far from perfect. My
breasts have never been quite full enough and my tummy has always
been a little too round right above my pants.

"Thanks," I say instead of arguing.

He leans down and kisses me again, softly
this time. His tongue massages mine passionately making me moan and
he swallows the sound. Kissing him seems to get better and better
each time.

My tongue darts along his lower lip again and
I pull back just enough to kiss the little silver studs that he has
below his lips.

He inhales raggedly and then groans.

Heat pools in my face and other parts of my
body, hearing his voice so ragged with need.

I yank his head back to mine and our lips
meet, this time furious with need, like our lives depend on it. I
want him so bad that I don't care that we are out here in the dark,
cold woods.

His breath is just as fast as mine as he cups
my bottom, pulling me tighter against his fully ready body.

My back starts tingling and twitching and in
my state I can't decide if I should let my wings out or hold them
back.

Shadow can read my body so well that he knows
this is happening and picks me up by my bottom with my legs wrapped
around him, and moves me away from the tree.

"Release them, Bayla."

I stop fighting to hold them back and in a
burst of pure pleasure my white wings unfold freely.

He lays me on the soft moss on the forest
floor and uses one of his thighs to move my legs apart.

My body responds instantly everywhere he
touches me and I can't believe how different this is than when I
was with Gabriel. I melt everywhere he touches me.

My hands travel frantically down his body as
he covers mine with his. His wings brush my skin lightly as they
enclose us away from the seeing eyes of any forest dwellers.

Groaning, I grab onto his throbbing body and
he hisses in a breath through his elongated fangs. Suddenly his
cedar and spice smell engulfs my senses and I can't fathom how much
I missed the familiar, calming scent of him.

"You're going to have to drink from me, as I
drink from you. We also have to have our mind-link open. We have to
do all of this…simultaneously," he pants as I work him, "in order
to complete the mate bond."

"Yes, okay," I say breathily and eagerly.

"Gods, Alexia, you're going to have to stop
doing that if you want this to be any good at all."

His fingers find my most private area to see
if I am ready, and I sigh in ecstasy, biting my lip to keep from
moaning loudly.

I stop my ministrations and grab hold of his
shoulder, ready for it, ready for it all. All of him.

He holds himself above me with one arm while
he makes a gouge in his other wrist with his fangs.

He sticks it to my mouth, watching me
intently and I close my eyes and open my mouth. With one hesitant
lick, I taste his lifeblood.

It's like nothing I could have imagined in my
entire existence. It's ecstasy laced with heaven. So good. Sweet
nectar that from here on out I can not do without. I latch on and
swallow it down greedily as if I was born a demon. It soothes my
throat and sets my body on fire from the inside out with pleasure
and sparks.

I distantly feel the puncture of his fangs in
my neck and his silky tongue lapping the blood from my pulsating
vein into his mouth.

Ah yes, so this is heaven
.

Yes, my love, this is my heaven
, he
replies inside my mind.

His fingers are still working inside my most
sensitive flesh and my body is building towards a crescendo of
something extremely wonderful.

I want you to be inside my mind as I make
love to you, Alexia. I want you to know how good you make me feel,
and I will be in your mind, knowing how I am making you feel. Are
you ready for me?
Even in my head, his voice has an edge to it
as if he is straining to hold back.

His fingers leave me. "Yes, I'm so
ready..."

He slowly lowers himself to me and I'm
smiling. When he penetrates me slowly, my smile falters and my
eyelids flutter.

The feel of him inside of me is the most
fulfilling, pleasurable thing I have ever experienced. He rocks
against me and I'm inside of his mind, feeling how good it feels to
him, which in turn makes it feel even better for me.