My Heart's Desire (52 page)

* * *

She was groggy when she woke. Stumbling out of bed, Rennie made her way to the bathing room and splashed water on her face at the washstand. A vague sense of nausea lingered. She steadied herself at the basin, uncertain if she was going to be sick or faint. The reflection she saw in the mirror was not encouraging. Rennie did not bother to examine it too closely. She cleaned her teeth, rinsed her mouth, and brushed out the ragged tangles in her hair.

She was on the point of returning to bed when she saw Jarret sprawled across the covers. Instead of climbing back in Rennie dropped into the armchair, stole one of the bed blankets, and nested quite comfortably, drawing the blanket over her bare toes and around her shoulders.

Jarret was sleeping soundly. Rennie dimmed the light from the bedside lamp by turning back the wick. Softening the wash of light on his face did not erase the lines of weariness at the corners of his eyes. Strands of dark blond hair were spiked across his forehead and ruffled against the pillow. There was a certain tautness to his face that should have been absent in sleep but remained nonetheless. Only around his mouth had tension disappeared. Rennie's eyes stayed on the shape of his mouth for a long time, memorizing the curve of it, remembering the texture of it against her own mouth, the damp heat of it touching her skin.

"You're awake."

She blinked, surprised, then looked away guiltily for having been caught staring with such blatant carnal intent. "What are you doing in my bed?" she asked. "I'm not dreaming this, am I? You
are
in my bed and we
are
in my home with my parents down the hall."

"It's a long hall."

Rennie fought back a smile. "You really have to leave, Jarret. Jay Mac and Mama won't stand for this."

"They both know I'm here."

Her eyes grew fractionally larger. "Now I
know
I'm dreaming. This is only slightly more preposterous than what I was dreaming earlier." She yawned and made a halfhearted attempt to cover her mouth. "Excuse me."

Jarret's smile was indulgent. "Tell me about your dream," he said casually.

"It was silly." She stifled a second yawn. "I was at the chapel again. St. Gregory's. Only this time you weren't there to stop the wedding. Hollis's friend Taddy was there, telling me to hurry. So were Hollis's other grooms. I tried to say I didn't want to go with them, but they just ignored me. I was there—and I wasn't there. It was like being a participant
and
a bystander at the same time. We waited somewhere dark, I think, maybe in that little room at the back of the chapel, I'm not certain, and I heard Hollis's name, but I never heard Hollis. That's all I can remember. Oh, and that I had a hard time breathing."

"I see."

"I told you it was silly."

But not unbelievable. Jarret wondered what Hollis's motive was in having Rennie abducted from the house, and just as mystifying, why he had had her returned. He watched Rennie press the back of her hand to her mouth to cover another yawn. Now wasn't the time to tell her. It could wait until morning. He patted the space beside him.

Rennie shook her head. "I couldn't... not here."

"I wasn't thinking of anything besides sleeping." He felt the full force of her skeptical look. "Well," he drawled. "I wasn't going to
do
anything besides sleep." He paused a beat and added with solemn intent, "Not, at least, until we're married."

She stilled. "Do you mean it?" she asked softly. "You still want to marry me?"

"I've never changed my mind about that, Rennie. Have you?"

"No!" she said quickly. "Oh, God, no. I... I want it more than anything. I just didn't know that loving me meant you were still willing to marry me. I've made such a mess of things, I wouldn't blame you if you just walked away."

"You expected me to do that in Echo Falls, didn't you?" he asked. "When you left the cabin after telling me about Hollis, you thought it was the end."

She nodded reluctantly. "You weren't very encouraging."

"I was—" he searched for the right word—
"staggered.
I needed time to think."

"Jay Mac said that."

"He was right," said Jarret. He was quiet a moment, looking at Rennie consideringly. "Why did you think I accepted work as his bodyguard? And don't say it was because of the money. You know that wasn't a consideration."

"I thought it was because you respect my father... and because you wanted to torment me."

He smiled at that. "Those are reasons," he said, "but not my reasons." Jarret propped himself on one elbow. "You were running from me, Rennie. You made up your mind it was all a mistake, and that was the end of it. There's only one reason I considered taking that damnable train ride back east, and that was to be close enough to catch you."

Rennie hugged herself. Her smile was radiant. She felt as if her heart might burst with gladness.

Jarret's laughter was low, slightly wicked and little regretful. "I see that admission isn't going to entice you into this bed."

She blushed, shaking her head. "I'd like it if you'd come to see Father Daniel with me tomorrow."

"Father Daniel?"

"Actually he's Bishop Colden now. It would be about the church's annulment. I think he can help me."

"A bishop? Aren't you reaching awfully high, Rennie?" Then he saw her secret smile, and he realized he had forgotten for a moment that Jay Mac had planned for the protection of each of his daughters. "Your godfather?" he asked, hardly believing it, yet knowing it was true.

Rennie nodded.

"I'll be damned."

"Bishop Colden can help with that, too."

He gave a short bark of laughter. "I'll keep that in mind."

Rennie jumped to her feet, leaned over the bed, and kissed Jarret full on the mouth. She managed to elude the hand that snaked out to grasp her. Slightly breathless, laughing and glowing, Rennie dropped back into the chair. "Tell me what happened at the board meeting."

Jarret sat up. He pushed back the hair that had fallen across his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Your father told everyone what he had seen at Queen's Point—or rather what he hadn't seen—then he allowed Hollis to make his own explanation. Hollis was prepared. He welcomed an investigation. I'll be surprised if anything can be laid at his door. I think he's managed to cover his tracks quite well."

"That depends on who is doing the investigating," she said.

"Jay Mac asked me. Hollis almost dared him to do it."

"Good."

Jarret shook his head. "I'm not so certain, Rennie. This isn't the sort of tracking I've done before. I can follow foot trails, not paper ones. Don't you think Hollis knew that when he suggested it?"

"He probably
thought
he knew it, but you'll prove him wrong." She said it confidently, matter-of-factly, as if the outcome were a foregone conclusion. "Did Jay Mac talk at all about the train wreck?"

"Only to give a small account of what happened to him. He couldn't speak of any of our suspicions, not without implicating Nina and Hollis."

"I suppose it's a mixed blessing that some things are too personal to become public fodder." She sighed. "Did Jay Mac see Nina afterward?"

Jarret nodded. "For less than an hour. I think it must have been a very civil parting. At least there were no raised voices. Mr. Pinkney packed your father's bags and that was that."

"It's hard to believe," she said quietly, staring at the far wall. "I used to dream about Jay Mac leaving her and coming to live with us. Now that we're all grown up it's not quite the same."

Jarret reached out to her with his hand. This time Rennie took it. She let herself be pulled from the chair and onto the bed. She leaned into Jarret, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder, one arm lying across his middle. His fingers brushed her arm, just touching the edge of the bandage and then dropping to her elbow. It was restful to be held by him in just this manner. He seemed to know it. She closed her eyes.

"You'll have to leave soon," she said.

He nodded but made no attempt to move.

Rennie was just fine with that.

* * *

It was the pounding below stairs that woke them. Jarret was on his feet immediately, reaching for his gun belt, while Rennie hit the floor a few beats later. She wobbled, trying to get her bearings and still her heart. "What
is
that?" she asked, reaching for her robe.

"Someone's at the door," he said.

Rennie looked pointedly at Jarret's gun. "Is that necessary?"

He didn't bother answering her. He opened the door to the hallway, pausing only when he realized she was following him. "Where do you think you're going?"

This time she didn't bother answering. Ducking under his arm, Rennie hurried down the hallway.

Jarret caught up to her on the stairs. The pounding was louder now and more frantic. The muffled sound of someone shouting could be heard. "You wait right here while I get the door."

Rennie opened her mouth to argue, then thought better of it. Her eyes shifted warily to the large front door, and she held her ground. Above her she could hear doors opening and closing in the hallway as the rest of her family was roused.

Jarret peered out a side window before he twisted the brass knob. When he let the door fly open Mr. Pinkney nearly fell into the entrance hall. Jarret helped steady the man, realizing soon enough that Jay Mac's butler wasn't drunk. His wild-eyed, distraught features had some cause other than drink.

From the top of the stairs Jay Mac demanded, "What is it, Pinkney? What's brought you here in the middle of the night?"

Pinkney caught his breath. His normally pale skin was ruddy from the exertion of his run. "It's Mrs. Worth, sir," he said.

"What about her?" Jay Mac asked coldly. He felt Moira's hand encircle his. She gave it a light, cautionary squeeze. "Don't be arrogant, darling," she whispered. "Something's wrong."

Jay Mac took a step down from the landing. "Go on, Pinkney, you can say whatever it is here."

Pinkney removed his hat and held it in front of him. "Mrs. Worth's dead," he said. "She threw herself off the balcony."

Chapter 15

Two days after Pinkney's late night arrival, Mrs. John MacKenzie Worth was honored in a stately memorial service that had in attendance nearly every prominent denizen of New York. Jay Mac accepted the condolences of his friends and colleagues as graciously as he was able. From time to time he intercepted the darting looks of the mourners, the secretive glances that seemed to accuse him of Nina's death. It would have been worse had they known of his request for a divorce mere hours before her suicide. His own conscience gave him little respite.

He wished Moira could have been at his side, but, of course, that was impossible. Yet she comforted him and lent her strength when they were alone, beyond the scrutiny of the public eye. His daughters did not desert him or wonder at his grief. They, unlike those who knew him less well, understood that his sorrow was genuine, that there was no hypocrisy in him saying that he would feel Nina's absence for a long time to come, perhaps always. No one thought he loved Moira any less for that admission, least of all Moira.

Two days after Nina Worth had been laid to rest Jay Mac gathered his family in the parlor and announced that he and Moira were going away to the summerhouse in the Hudson Valley. "It will only be for a few weeks," he told them. "Long enough for me to collect my thoughts."

Maggie, Skye, and Mary Francis were encouraging. Rennie held her comments.

Jay Mac's arm rested around Moira's shoulders. He said to Rennie, "Your silence is speaking to me, Mary Renee. Are you concerned about Northeast while I'm gone?"

Rennie didn't say anything for a moment. Her eyes consulted Jarret, a question in them.

"You tell them," he said. "Or I will. I don't want to wait until your parents return."

Moira looked expectantly at Rennie; then her glance shifted to Jarret. She saw it in their eyes, the subtle exchange of messages without words. Moira patted Jay Mac's hand gently. "This has nothing to do with Northeast," she said. "Not a thing."