My Forbidden Mentor (16 page)

Then again, he decided, maybe they should talk about their conversation in Dublin. Perhaps this time she would admit her true feelings about when he had touched her. He straightened his head. “Agreements aside, lets talk about Dublin. Why don’t you start by answering the question I asked you?”

With eyes averted and uneasiness casting across her features, Melissa responded, “Which question was that?”

His full lips curved into a delicious grin above the rim of his glass of brandy. Playing ignorant wouldn’t work with him. “Whether or not you enjoyed my fingers touching your beautiful body,” he reminded her and adored her reaction of enlarged eyes and opened mouth of innocence she displayed so often. Was it always innocent, he wondered?

She cursed him mentally for his directness. “Why do you have to say it like that?” she asked in a harsh whisper while her darting eyes lifted to his. “You could refresh my memory by mentioning the hayloft and I would know immediately to what you refer.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Melissa, it’s just you and I here, sweet. I thought I would give you a detailed description to refresh your memory.”

Her lips tightened. “I don’t need a detailed description. I remember it well.”

A brow perched. “You do? You say that like you were disgusted by it.”

She failed to comment as her eyes were drifting down to her fidgeting fingers. How was she supposed to answer him without thoroughly shaming herself? As she contemplated, he spoke, the pressure to reply lay heavy upon her. Her hazel eyes lifted, finding his gaze eager and requesting.

“Well?” he continued to pursue.

“I wasn’t disgusted. It was surprising, that’s all.” She had to say something but could almost bet he wouldn’t be satisfied with what she’d said. He had this way about him, she was learning, that could persist without him saying a word. Feeling vulnerable and drained from emotional uproar she gave in, hoping her admittance would settle matters right here and now. “Oh, all right. It was incredible. It’s all I’ve thought about. That’s why I needed to get away from here, from you. I need to think, John.” With emotions strung high her true feelings emerged, not meaning to. “I’m afraid,” came out in a shaky tremor.

“Afraid of what?” he asked, sitting up.

“Losing my freedom. Losing my independence. You,” she told him as she gestured a shaky hand toward him.

“Is this independent streak an inheritance from your mother?” he asked.

“Yes, I suppose,” she agreed and continued on by giving details. “And I have all the advantages. I’m not married, no children, no responsibilities holding me back right now.”

He nodded in response to the reasons she gave. “Well that explains a lot,” he commented, wondering what her reply would be to his next question. “Where do I fit in your future?”

How to answer him? Should he hear the absolute truth? “Because of our working relationship, I feel we have become close friends. I cherish that. Besides training, I’d enjoy spending time with you occasionally. You know, the races perhaps?” Her explanation seemed vague but the rules she set for their business relationship had demanded she not give in. She had broken her rule once with him already and now she must abide with strict effort.

“I can’t handle occasionally,” he told her, raking a hand over his pulled back hair. His eyes peered back to her. “It’s obvious to me that our relationship has gone beyond mentor and student, beyond just friends. Would you agree?” he asked, knowing she couldn’t deny it.

To deny him the obvious truth would be pointless. Of course she agreed. Friends don’t kiss and touch the way they had that cool afternoon sitting high in the barn, sheltered by bales of hay. Yes, there were more than friendship feelings going on between them. She had tried to stop them, she really did, even after he’d touched her, but it hadn’t worked. He was all she thought about and now, well, now if she admitted this to him, what action would proceed?

Her dress swayed with her graceful movements of staggered pacing before the dining table. Unaware of the bold gestures her body presented to him, she answered truthfully. “Yes, I would.”

As she stood opposite him he rose from the chair, taking his glass with him. Melissa, feeling uneasy, watched him maneuver toward her. She desperately wanted a sip of his brandy to ease her nerves. When he stood very close to her, without thinking about it, she took the glass from his hand, her fingers brushing his, and sipped a decent amount of the intoxicating liquid. Her eyes closed at the smooth burning in her throat.

Her movements caused a stirring in his groin and he wasn’t going to conceal his hardened desire this time. They had finally agreed on something about their relationship, it was time to satisfy their raging passions.

Handing him the glass, her eyes traveled the length of his body while he drank, beginning with his silken black hair, down to his broad chest covered in crisp white linen, and stopping at the profound swell in the crotch of his nut-brown trousers. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his seductive ones.

He set his drink on the table. A lone finger went to her face, tracing along her golden hairline. “What shall we do about it?” he asked, watching her eyes steadily focus on him and having her sole attention made him want her even more.

“I’m not sure,” she responded through trembling lips.

Slipping his fingers through her soft, flowing hair, his head bent so he could kiss her. Their eyes transfixed with their lips a breath apart. When their mouths finally met, their eyes closed and they moved in a gentle rhythm against each other. Both were forgetting the anger that had transpired between them, both were intent on fulfilling the longing to kiss each other again. Waiting any longer was a true test of their sanity and exploration of mouths was a priority at the moment. Temporarily satisfied, John left her mouth to breathe kisses along the line of her jaw and then down her neck, murmuring into her ear, “I believe you want me as much as I want you,” he told her while his hands took hers and placed them on his hips.

His heated sensations continued down her neck. Her eyes remained closed as she replied, “I believe you’re right.” Lost in his kisses and the passion rising in her, for a time she was open to him, giving him unrestricted rein to kiss her anywhere he wanted. Anticipation seized her, making her fingers grip into the sides of his waist before sensually crushing into his body. Strong hands traveled from her back down to her buttocks, filling themselves with taut rounded flesh as he pressed his evident arousal into her belly. His actions unleashed waves of desire that delightfully flowed through her body. Becoming eager for more of his touch caused an alarm to go off from the conscious side of her mind reminding her of their status. As reality was making its case, her fight to ignore the warning lessened, and she used the last ounce of strength left to tell him, “But I can’t.”

Surprised by her sudden change of mind, he placed a gentle kiss on her reddened lips and inquired out of breath, “Why not?”

Her opening eyes lingered with his. “Because it goes against everything,” she started to say and then went mute. She didn’t want to stop, but determination had her hanging on by a thread.

“It goes against what?” he asked as his voice turned rough. He couldn’t stand it any longer, this battle she insisted on fighting within herself. “Our wanting each other? What is so bad about that? Tell me, Melissa.”

Tears began forming in her eyes.

His tone softened. “Please, don’t cry. I’m not trying to upset you,” he told her and took a deep, steadying breath. “Don’t you know that in the beginning I felt the same way about us, the need to keep us professional?” He laid his forehead against hers. “I’ve tried, Melissa, I’ve really tried, but I want you so much.”

His staggered puffs of breath heated the shiver of her lips. “John, please don’t,” she pleaded and shut her eyes as she was enduring the honesty of his words.

He lifted away so he could see her face. “Why do you say that when you don’t mean it?” he implored.

Her moistened eyes opened, followed by quivering lips. “You’re making this hard for me,” she whispered.

“You’re making me hard Melissa,” he blatantly revealed.

“Please don’t say that,” she cried because the rules she set for herself were bending and breaking bit by bit.

“Why not? It’s the truth,” he said and then asked her, “Do you want me?” It was a direct question, requesting a direct answer.

Why am I denying myself? She wondered as her eyes searched the simmering gray pools of his. “Yes,” she replied in a mesmerized tone. John kissed her in response. When his lips came off of hers, she answered again, “Yes, I do.” He kissed her again, this time with possession.

He spoke against their mingled lips, “Then take me.” In an instant her body grew tense.

“John, I, I don’t know how,” she said, feeling her cheeks flush and become warm, while her limbs stiffened and strained.

Simultaneously, his lips curved into a smile against her mouth. “Then let me take you first so you can learn,” he said with breathless urgency.

He’d never been this shaky with a woman, feeling like he’d never made love before. When their lips met again both were ravenous and consuming. John held her steadfast, pulling her body along the length of his with one hand while his opposite hand moved between them. He took one of her hands from his hip and dragged it downward to his constrained erection. His clasping hand guided hers in a stroking motion, having her learn exactly what she did to him. “Feel what you do to me?” he whispered against her mouth. “I’ve never been this hard before.” His hand stayed atop hers as they moved together, showing her in more detail how he liked to be touched.

Feeling his state of arousal, she had never dreamed it would give her pleasure, learning with a touch of her hand she possessed a unique power over him. He groaned louder when her fingers increased their grip. His breath grew more ragged when her thumb experimented with circular motions along the tip of him. The anticipation in his body awakened hers, escalating the longing to join her body with his. Their minds were in sync as well as their bodies because his next words were the ones she longed to hear.

“Let’s go to your bedroom,” John rasped. His potent suggestion had her following his lead. Picking up a candle from the table he took her hand in his and they stepped over to the bottom of the stairs. Handing her the candle, he lifted her in his arms and carried her up.

This time it wasn’t a dream. This time he was carrying her to the bedroom to make love. She was about to make love for the first time. The willpower needed to stop what was about to happen, disappeared. She wanted this experience.

Upon entering her room he set her down, taking the candle from her and placing it atop a tall dresser. Melissa stepped toward the bed and waited for him. Unfamiliar with what was about to take place, she relied solely on his guidance.

After closing the door he stepped over to the bed and sat on the edge, motioning her over to him. She stood between his thighs that were opened wide, waiting and wondering. A silent moment fell between them as mutual desire flared in the mirroring of their eyes. In growing anticipation John’s fingers found the beginning of the many laces trailing along her backside. The pace of loosening them grew feverish when inch by glorious inch each layer of clothing that peeled away exposed skin made of tawny satin.

Melissa tried sweeping aside her tumbling clothing but the effort backfired when a snowy ruffle caught around the heel of her boot. Reaching out for the closest proximity to balance on landed her hands upon John’s shoulders. When she dared to straighten and settled her eyes on his she found a heavy lidded gaze that rested not on her face but on her bare breasts.

Her breasts were succulent, pleasantly rounded and full with blushing tips that firmed before him, luring him to take hold. He grasped the sides of her waist to help her balance and also to steer her in his direction so his mouth could meet with one of those tantalizing peaks. Gentle and precise, his tongue flickered back and forth across an extending nipple, testing her reaction. Her moan in response caused his eyes to lift as he eased her nipple into his mouth.

She found aching hunger in those eyes as he suckled on her, a yearning fighting for possession of her body, and the thought of being possessed by him released a ripple of heat that seared. In sheer abandonment her back arched and her body strained forward, not wanting to lose contact with his conquering mouth. She heard him groan and saw his eyes close as he concentrated, keeping the tension of his mouth rhythmic and constant. The splendid torture continued when he gave a solid pull with his mouth, leaving her tingling before switching to another nipple eager for his attentions. Delicious sensations took over as Melissa embraced his dark silky head within her arms. Through a spinning haze she realized that this was something she had craved, John’s body loving hers.

She was so lost in these new sensations that she hadn’t registered the two warm hands clutching and squeezing her behind before being lifted and placed on the bed.

After taking off her boots and stockings, John stood above her and gave a seductive smile while unbuttoning his shirt. “You’re more beautiful than I imagined Melissa,” he told her and his confession made her eyes close and her breath shift.

Full of bolstering need, taking time to undress became an undesired chore for John. In reaction, the sleeves of his shirt practically ripped off his arms. His boots were tossed, sliding and speeding, across the hardwood floor, and his fingers tugged and jerked at the leather tie confining his hair, finally managing to set it free. All that remained were his constraining trousers, which he chose to take off with careful consideration so as not to frighten her the first time seeing a naked male body, a highly aroused naked male body at that. “What are you thinking about?” he asked, standing still before her once again.

Her eyes opened. She seemed oblivious to the commotion of his shedding of clothes. “The feel of your hair through my fingers,” she said, gaping at his broad chest laced with wisps of black hairs.

“Is that all?” he asked, reaching for the buttons of his trousers.

“How you will feel inside me,” it was a slip of her thoughts and not the reaction she had intended to give him. She tried replacing her shocked expression with a bold, sensual stare, but knew it was too late by the grin he’d shown.

“You’ll find out soon sweetheart,” he said while his fingers continued undoing the buttons of his trousers.

Her darkened cheeks caused him to reassure her. “Sweetheart, there isn’t a need to be embarrassed. What we’re doing is perfectly natural,” he told her, not able to take his eyes off her body, actually enjoying her naive reactions.

With a flicker of candlelight her eyes caught sight of curling black hairs appearing at the opening of his trousers. Her gaze quickly shifted up to his face, but her curious mind couldn’t help itself. She wanted to see his male body and she didn’t want to feel shy about it. Her eyes fell, riveted on the very private part of his body he was about to expose.

At that moment his trousers came free. His manhood sprang toward her and she was in awe at its magnificence. Hypnotized by its greeting appearance, she couldn’t help but comment. “You’re quite handsome John,” she told him and was actually surprised by how beautiful a man’s body could be.

“Thank you,” he responded, relieved that she enjoyed his body instead of shying away. Pushing his trousers off, he climbed onto the bed next to her. Lying on his side, a warm hand glided along her outstretched body from her bosom to her thighs, followed by his mouth trailing kisses along the same path. Stopping at her thighs, he asked out of concern for her feelings, “Are you frightened of the pain?”

Caring and considerate, he’d be a gentle lover as his compassion confirmed. Her eyes glossed over and she smiled at him. “A little,” she whispered.

“I’ll be gentle,” he whispered back.

He rose to kneel before her. Lifting her knees, he shifted them into a bent position, and then slid his palms down her inner thighs to part them wider. Before settling his body onto hers his gaze concentrated on her trusting features. Her eyes staring into his gave him the approval he wanted to see. He lowered himself above her, resting his weight on his elbows before noticing her distress. “What is it, sweetheart?”

Melissa debated on whether or not to mention her concerns. Her virginity being no secret gave obvious meaning to an expected, non-existent performance, but Melissa wanted to satisfy him and make their experience worth it for him, the same as he was doing for her. The debating came to an end when he noticed her anguished features. “I want to be pleasing for you,” she confessed.

Her admission surprised him. He’d already anticipated her to be anxious, this being her first time, but not worrying about pleasuring him. Didn’t she know that just seeing her naked body of lush curves pleased him beyond any dream he’d imagined? Making love to her had crossed his mind about a trillion times but even so, her concern touched him. “You are pleasing me,” he told her, watching the blush on her cheeks darken and her eyes close. His hands sank into her golden strands, cradling her head. “Melissa,” he said in a comforting tone as her eyes opened. “Being here with you, together like this, is enough. We can wait if you’re not ready.” Although he meant his words, he prayed he wouldn’t have to wait.

“I’m ready John,” she announced with renewed confidence, trailing a finger from his forehead down a subtle path along the bridge of his nose and then over his full, soft lips.