My Favorite Senior Moments (16 page)
Read My Favorite Senior Moments Online
Authors: Karen O'Connor
He'd been reluctant to speak up before since the best that could be said about his relationship with Nick was that it was tolerable. Nick was always the one to have something to say about every book selected. Harry hoped Nick had finally recognized that he was as capable as anyone and would do an admirable job.
Harry read the message Nick left:
“It seems to me you're idle.”
What?
Henry flushed and his hands perspired.
Idle? He thinks I'm lazy? Well, I'll show him!
Then Harry read the closing sentence of Nick's email. “Get back to me right away, please.”
That's strange to say after insulting me.
Harry called his wife to his side. He was boiling over by the time Patsy joined him. Quickly he summarized what he'd sent and what he'd just read. He admitted he was upset and asked her what he should do.
Patsy read the message and then broke out laughing.
“What's so funny?” Harry demanded. He wasn't feeling one bit amused.
“I think it's a typo
or
Nick doesn't know how to spell. I'm sure he means
ideal
, not idle.”
“You think?” Harry's face lit up.
“Yes, I'm sure that's what he meant. Who could be more ideal than you, dear heart? So get to it. You're in charge.”
Today's Thoughts
If we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 J
OHN
1:9
Lord, I feel bad when I jump to conclusions about other people and turn out to be wrong. Help me stay calm and patient even when people do insult me.
Sunny wished for
all the world that she'd studied for her driver's license when she'd had the chance so many years ago. She also wished she'd taken computer lessons and had learned to use a smart phone. She felt hopelessly behind the times, especially now that her grandchildren were teenagers and had all the latest tech gadgets. How would she ever catch up with them, much less keep up? Was she the only senior who felt so left behind?
She sank into the old sofa that had held her aging body and eased her pain over the years since Herbie had died. What would her husband think of all this progress? He'd probably shake his head and then start talking about the “good old days” when people actually came to visit in person and sat on the porch and talked or played a game of cards while enjoying a bottle of Orange Crush.
Well, those days are over. Sunny tried to soothe herself out loud. “You'll just have to suck it up and carry on as best you can. Wasn't it President Teddy Roosevelt who said, âDo what you can, with what you have, where you are'? Good advice!”
Just then her next-door-neighbor Greg stopped by. She invited him in.
“Sunny, I've been thinking you and I ought to grab a bite to eat and a movie tonight. What do you say? I could use a little company, and it seems you could use a little consolidation.”
Sunny looked at Greg and let out a small smile.
Just then Greg caught his mistake of using the word
consolidation
.
“Oops! I meant to say you could use a little
consolation
since you live alone and allâ¦since your husband passed. I hope I didn't offend you.”
Sunny patted Greg on the shoulder. “No offense taken. And actually you're correct. I could use a little consolidation and some consolation too. I need all the strength and comfort you can offer. I'd love to join you for a bite to eat and a movie.”
Today's Thoughts
If you devote your heart to [God]⦠you will lift up your face; you will stand firm and without fear.
J
OB
11:13,15
Lord, some senior moments really are pretty funny. It seems more often than not we seniors are mixing up our words these days. Good thing we have your love to help us older folks forgive each other since we're all in this muddle together.
“Hon!” Beth called
to her husband Rex. “Have you seen my glasses?”
“Doggone it, Beth, when are you going to be responsible for your own specs? I have a hard enough time remembering where I put mine. I think I'll start strapping yours to your head so they'll always be where they need to beâin front of your eyes.”
“Very funny. Come on. I need your help. I'm running late, and I have to wash my hair.” Beth was shouting over the pelting shower water as she massaged her scalp with shampoo.
“Seriously, babe!” he shouted from the bedroom, “This has gone far enough. You're on your own this time.”
“Oh, yeah? Well how about you and your car keys? Who do you turn to every time you misplace themâwhich is just about every day? Me, that's who. Then I run all over the house like a maid checking this place and that, hoping I'll find them before you explode with frustration.”
“Oh, pul-eeze! That's not the same thing at all. I do most of the driving, so it stands to reason that you share half the responsibility for the keys that operate the car. If I'm such a burden to you, then how about you becoming the keeper of the keys and doing more of the driving. Hmm? What do you think of that?”
Beth rinsed her hair, combing out the last of the tangles before stepping out of the shower. Her comb caught on something, and she tugged at it. Her glasses fell onto the shower floor. She burst out
laughing. “I found my glasses!” she shouted. “No wonder I could see so well. I was wearing them in the shower.”
Rex walked into the bathroom holding up his keys. “I'm sorry I got so upset. I found my keys. At least both of our lost items were where they should beâyour glasses in front of your eyes and my keys in the bowl on my dresser.
Today's Thoughts
[God,] you guide me with your counsel.
P
SALM
73:24
Thank you, dear God, for reminding me that humility is in order when I've had a senior moment.
Rachel had given
up driving. It was just too much at age 86. But it created a problem. When she ran out of things she needed, she had to ask her neighbor Debra to take her to the pharmacy or department store, as was the case one Friday morning. And Rachel didn't want to be a burden to anyone. On the other hand, she didn't want to be responsible for a bad accident⦠or, worse, a fatality.
“I don't understand why these teen grandchildren of mineâstill babies, reallyââare so eager to drive,” Rachel shared as her friend drove around a corner on the way to the store. “These youngsters are as much a menace to pedestrians as we old folks areâmaybe more so. In fact, it's kind of nice to get old. I don't have to be responsible for so many things anymore. I can sit back and relaxâread, nap if I want, and just take it easy.”
Debra pulled into a parking space in front of the local drugstore. “I agree with you there. But personally I like driving. It gives me a feeling of independence. I guess I'm still a safe driver. No accidents in 50 years.”
Rachel was secretly envious. Maybe she'd given up too quickly. If she hadn't turned in her license and sold her car, she could be driving to her sister's house, to the store, to church, and even to a movie once in a while.
Oh, well. Too late now.
The two women slid out of the car and walked inside to pick up a few supplies. Rachel raised her hand. “I'll meet you at the checkout counter in a few minutes, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
The two women went their own way, up one aisle and down another.
At aisle 12 they nearly careened as each reached for a box of Depends.
“Speaking of âbabies' driving!” chirped Debra. “I suppose those youngsters could accuse us of being unsafe drivers since we're clearly in our second babyhood. I depend on Depends, how about you?”
Both women had a good laugh and proceeded to the checkout counter.
Today's Thoughts
In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha⦠; she was always doing good.
A
CTS
9:36
Oh, God, how I thank you for caring for me whether I'm walking, driving, shopping, sitting, praying, eating, or sleeping. No matter what I'm doing, you are with me. What a comfort!
Lottie and her
cat, Pokey, had a love affair. Lottie, just like the pet food commercials say, would do anything for her pet. But she'd also do anything to save a buck. She traveled all over town, stopping at this pet store and that food mart, to be sure she was getting the most cat food for her well-earned dollar. She also clipped pet food coupons from the daily and Sunday newspapers for additional savings.
One Sunday she saw an ad for a 50-pound bag of cat chow. It made sense to Lottie to get in on this deal right away before the store ran out. She could get more meals per bag and, therefore, cut back on driving to the store so often. What a good idea! So she drove to the pet store in the next town to take advantage of the special. One of the clerks helped her load the heavy bag into the trunk of her car and off she went.
When she arrived home she realized something she hadn't thought of before. How would she get the hefty bag out of the car? In fact, how would she get it out of the car and up the three steps to her kitchen door?
Oh dear!
A real dilemma.
Lottie decided to compromise. She went to the kitchen and got Pokey's bowl. Carrying it out to the car, she opened the trunk, opened the cat food bags, ladled out a cupful, and poured it into Pokey's bowl. Then she sealed the bag shut and closed the trunk. She'd be hauling cat food into the house by the bowlful and around in her car until the contents shrank to an amount she could carry into the house. It might seem a bit odd, but at the same time she
figured she was being pretty clever. After all, she'd do almost anything to save a buck and this way of doing things fit that
cat
egory.
Today's Thoughts
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
P
SALM
73:26
God, thank you for supplying me with good ideas, with plans, with solutions to problems that always seem much bigger than I can handle by myself. Your ways are not my waysâand what a good thing that is!
Matthew was feeling
the aches and pains that frequently occur with old age and illness. The day came when he could no longer trim the trees or even change a light bulb.
His wife Lydia cracked a joke, hoping to cheer him up. “How many people does it take to trim a tree or change a light bulb?” she asked.
“More than I care to admit.” Matthew tried to smile, but he was too upset to find any humor in the situation.
As the months wore on, the tree limbs were growing so long they touched the roof of the couple's carport. “I called a tree trimmer,” said Lydia, “but he wanted too much money.”
A day or so later, Lydia received a phone call from a young man and woman who wanted to get married right away. Although she was retired, Lydia occasionally performed pastoral work.
“Pastor, would you be able to perform the ceremony this afternoon?” the groom-to-be asked. “We're moving overseas for my job, and we want to be husband and wife before we take off.”
Lydia didn't usually invite strangers into her house, but that day she felt a nudge to say yes. Lydia shared, “The couple arrived a few hours later with their rings, license, and other forms in order. Within minutes I joined them in marriage right there in our dining room.”
Not long after, Lydia discovered the reason why the Holy Spirit had prompted her to say yes to the couple. John, the groom, was a tree trimmer by profession.
“When he heard our dilemma, he climbed onto the roof and trimmed the limbs. You can image our delight!” said Lydia. “Then he came back into the house and changed three light bulbs.”
Now it was Lydia's husband who beamed. Two tasks taken care of in the same day, and two young people joined happily in marriage!
“I know God loves me,” said Lydia, with tears in her eyes. “And I know he lives within my soul. But when he demonstrates his love in such a practical way, he is more real to me than at any other time. He is more than worthy of my praise.”
Today's Thoughts
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the L
ORD
establishes their steps.
P
ROVERBS
16:9
Lord, how amazing are your ways! You often guide my steps in ways I seldom expect.
“Have you seen
my earring?” Phyllis asked her sister Irene in an email after a weekend visit. “I wore them at your house, but when I emptied my suitcase and all the little zipper pockets I had only one. The mate isn't in my purse either.”