My Enemy, the Queen (16 page)

The lady of the lake spoke a panegyric similar to those we had heard before. The Queen cried out that it was beautiful. Then she was led to the base court where was assembled a company dressed to represent the gods: Sylvanus of the woods offered her leaves and flowers, Ceres was there with corn, Bacchus with grapes, Mars with arms, and Apollo with musical instruments to sing a song of the nation love for the Queen.

She received them all with gracious words, complimenting them on their skill and beauty.

Leicester told her that there was much more for her to see but he believed that she must now be weary and wished to rest. She must be thirsty too and he could promise her that she would find the ale at Kenilworth to her taste.

have made certain that nothing shall displease Your Majesty as it did at Grafton, by testing the ale, and, finding it harsh, I brought down ale makers from London so that we shall not offend you here.

can trust my dear Eyes to care for my comfort,said the Queen with emotion.

In the inner court a salute of guns was fired, and as she was about to pass into the castle, Robert drew her attention to the clock on that tower which was called Caesar. Its face was of a delicate shade of blue and the numbers and hands were of pure gold. It could be seen all round the neighborhood. He begged her to watch it for a moment, for if she did she would see the gold hands stop.

his signifies that while Your Majesty honors Kenilworth with her presence, time stands still,he told her.

She was clearly happy. How she loved this pomp and ceremony! How she loved this adulation and, above all, how she loved Robert!

There was some speculation among her entourage that surely on this visit she would announce her intention to marry him. It seemed certain that this was what Robert was hoping for.

Those days at Kenilworth will never be forgottenot only by me, which is understandable, as they made a turning point in my life, but by all those present.

I think it is safe to say that there never was, nor ever will be, such entertainment as Robert devised for his Queen pleasure.

There were displays of fireworks, Italian tumblers, bull- and bear-baiting, and of course tilting and tournaments. Wherever the Queen was, there must be dancing, and she would stay up far into the early hours of morning to dance and never seemed to tire of it.

In the first days at Kenilworth, Robert scarcely left her side, and in fact later he must never absent himself too long. On the rare occasions when he partnered others in the dance I saw her watch him closely and with impatience. I heard her say once: trust you enjoyed the dance, my Lord Leicester.She was very cold and very haughty until he leaned towards her and whispered something which made her smile and restored her good humor.

It was hardly possible to believe that they were not lovers.

I might have felt that I was dreaming of the impossible except for the fact that on several occasions I would see his eyes stray round the room and I knew they were looking for me; and when they found me something flashed between us. We were going to meet, but I knew that it was imperative that we take the utmost care.

I was schooling myself. When the moment came I wanted to be ready. No quick tumble behind locked doors this time, Robert. No et it be tonight if the Queen can spare me.He would be plausible. He was the most plausible man on earth, but I should be wary. I was wiser now.

It amused me to think that Elizabeth and I were rivals. She was a worthy adversary indeed with her weapons of power and promises of greatness and her threats, of course. o not think my favor is so locked up in you Her father all over again. brought you up. I could as easily throw you down.Henry VIII had said that to his favorites men and women who had worked for him and given him of their best: Cardinal Wolsey, Thomas Cromwell, Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, poor little Catherine Howardnd Katharine Parr would have been another if he had not died in time. Henry had once loved Anne Boleyn as passionately as Elizabeth loved Robert, but that had not saved her. These thoughts must occur now and then to Robert. ,.

If I displeased her what would happen to me? Such was my nature that contemplation of my danger did not deter me; in some ways it added to my eagerness.

At last there came the moment when we were alone together. He took my hand and looked into my eyes.

hat do you want of me, my lord?I asked.

ou know,he replied fervently.

here are many women here,I said. nd I have a husband.

here is only one I want.

ake care,I teased. hat treason. Your mistress would be very displeased with you if she heard you utter such words.

care for nothing but that you and I should be together.

I shook my head.

here is a roomight at the top of the west tower. It is never visited,he persisted.

I turned away but he had caught my hand and I was immediately shaking with that desire which he alone could arouse in me.

shall be there at midnightwaiting.

I said: ou may wait, my lord.

Someone was mounting the stairs and he quickly went off. Afraid to be seen, I thought angrily.

I did not go to that room in the tower, though it was difficult to prevent myself doing so. I found a good deal of pleasure, though, imagining his striding up and down waiting impatiently.

He was reproachful and a little more reckless next time we met. We were not alone and although he appeared to be exchanging pleasantries with a guest he was saying: must speak to you. There is much I have to say to you.

hen just for a talk perhaps,I said.

And I went to the room.

He seized me and attempted to kiss me into submission but I noticed that first he had carefully locked the door.

o,I protested. ot yet.

es,he said. ow! I have waited too long. I will not wait a second longer.

I knew I was weak. My resolutions slipped away. He had only to touch mend I had always known my need of him matched his for me. It was useless to resist. We would talk afterwards.

He laughed triumphantly. I was triumphant too, because I knew this was a temporary surrender. I should have my way in the end.

Afterwards he said complacently: h, Lettice, how we need each other!

have got along very well without you for eight years,I reminded him.

ight wasted years!he sighed.

asted! Oh no, my lord, you advanced far in royal favor during that time.

ny time not spent with you is wasted time.

ou sound as though you are talking to the Queen.

h, come, Lettice, be reasonable.

hat is exactly what I intend to be.

ou are married. I am in this position

oping to marry. They say: ope deferred maketh the heart sick.Is that how it is with you? Are you so sick with waiting that you look elsewhere for what you imagine can be a few secret meetings with someone who finds you too handsome to resist?

ou know it is not so, but you also know my position.

know that she has been dangling you these many years and still there is little hope. Or do you go on hoping?

he Queen temper is uncertain.

o I not know that! You forget I was banished from the Court for eight years. And do you know why?

He drew me closer to him.

ou should have a care,I warned him. he noticed once.

o you think she did?

or what other reason should I have been kept from Court?

He laughed. A little complacently, I thought, so sure that he could do what he would with the women who interested him.

I held back and he was immediately the pleading lover.

ettice, I love you you only

hen let us go and tell the Queen.

oue forgotten Essex.

e is your safeguard.

f he were not there I would marry you and prove to you the true state of my feelings.

ut he is there and you may say f with the greatest complacency. You know full well you dare not tell the Queen what has happened tonight.

would not tell her, no. But if I could marry you I would do so and in time break the news to her.

s a woman cannot have two husbands, there can be no marriage. And if the Queen were to discover that you and I had been together, we know what would happen. I should be sent away from Court. You would be in disgrace for a while and then taken back into favor. That is one of your greatest accomplishments, I believe. The fact is I came here to talk

nd then you found that our love overwhelmed us both.

found that I enjoy my pleasures and that in some respects you suit me well. But I will not be picked up and dropped when it is expedient to do so as though I were some serving wench.

hat you could never be mistaken for.

hope not. But it would seem you imagined I could be treated like one. It shall not happen again, my lord.

ettice, you must understand. More than anything, I want to marry you, and I tell you this. One day I am going to.

hen?

re long.

nd Essex?

eave him to me.

hat do you mean by that?

mean who can know what will happen? Be patient. You and I were meant for each other. I knew it when we first met. But you were married to Essex, so what could I do? Ah, Lettice, if you had not married him, how different it would have been. But you have come back to me. Don think I am ever going to let you go again.

ou should let me go now or I shall be missed, and if I am, and if I am being spied on, and it comes to the Queen ears, I would not be in your shoes, Robert Dudley. And I fancy mine would not be very comfortable either.

He unlocked the door. Then he held me in an embrace so fierce that I thought the whole thing was going to start all over again; but he realized the sense of my warning and let me go.

I crept back to my apartment. My absence had been noticed by some of the others. I wondered whether any of them thought I had been with a lover, and I amused myself by imagining their shocked wonder if I told them I had and who it was.

The weather grew less hot; there had been a few refreshing showers and the entire company seemed to be in excellent spirits. I saw nothing of Robert in private, but frequently, of course, in the company of others, for he was constantly at the Queen side. They hunted a great deal together, spending the hours until twilight in the forest; and when they returned to Kenilworth there was invariably some welcoming pageant for Elizabeth. There was no end to Robert inventiveness, but all the time he had to be wary, for the pleasure he had given the Queen could be quickly forgotten and all his efforts in vain if in some way he should manage to offend her.

On this particular day a water pageant had been devised to welcome her on her return to the castle, for Robert made good use of the lake, which was always its most effective by night when the lighted torches gave a magic touch to the scene. On this occasion a mermaid greeted her and beside her was an enormous dolphin, on whose back sat a man in a mask who was meant to represent Arion. As soon as he saw the Queen he began to recite verses extolling her virtues and the joy of Kenilworth because she did it the honor of staying within its walls.

This incident put the Queen in high good humor because Arion, after having delivered the first few lines of his oration, could not remember the rest of the piece. He fumbled and began again and then in a burst of rage he tore off his mask so that his red sweating face was exposed.

am no Arion,he cried aloud. am but honest Harry Goldingham, Your Majesty most loyal subject.

There was silence. Robert glared at the offender, but the Queen burst into loud laughter and cried: ood Harry Goldingham, you have amused me well, and I do declare that I liked your performance best of anybody.

So Harry Goldingham left his dolphin and was as pleased with himself as he could be. He had won the Queen special praise for his performance and no doubt he reckoned it would give him good standing with his lord and master, the Earl of Leicester.

During the evening the Queen referred again and again to the incident, and she told Robert that she would never forget the pleasure she had enjoyed at Kenilworth.

I was piqued by the Queen absolute devotion to Robert. It meant that he was never free of her. It was only during the time when she was at her toilet that he could get away, and then I had my duties. It was very frustrating for us both and, thus tantalized, our desire for each other was intensified.

Once when I thought there was an opportunity for a few words I saw him in close conversation with another woman. I knew her by sight and had had a special interest in her. She was that Douglass Sheffield whose name had been coupled with Robert at one time. I remembered the rumors I had heard about them.

I did not believe the story that he had had her husband murdered. What was the point of murdering the Earl of Sheffield? Douglass was much more desirable to Robert with a husbands I was. The real proof of Robert love would be marriage. That would mean that he wanted his bride more than the Queen favor. I did not need a visit to Kenilworth to remind me of what her wrath would be like if he did marry. It would be fierce and terrible, and I doubted even Robert would be able to restore himself to her favor after such an event.

I had not attached a great deal of importance to the Douglass Sheffield scandal until now, because incredible stories had always been circulated about Robert. He was the most envied man in the realm; no one had more enemies; he stood so high with the Queen that thousandst Court and throughout the country-longed, as envious people will, to see him brought low; and it is a sad commentary on human nature that even those who would gain nothing by it, yet wanted to see it.

Of course there had been the murky scandal of Amy Robsart death and the scars of that would remain with him throughout his life. Had he murdered her? Who could say? She had certainly seemed to stand between him and ambition, and he greatly desired a marriage which had been impossible while she lived. There were too many dark secrets in Cumnor Place; and there was no doubt that the incident of Amy death had given the envious the ammunition they needed.