My Cousin's Keeper (8 page)

“Uh-oh,” Mason said. “Here comes Gay Boy's friend.” And we walked away together, avoiding Julia's approach. When I looked back, she was on a playground seat beside Bon. She dusted off his wool hat and gave it back to him to put on again. I turned away quickly so that our eyes would not meet, and I laughed at Mason's comments about weird new kids at our school.

I often spotted Bon on the playground sitting with her, or walking around and talking with her. I saw how he tagged along behind the friends she had made, but always seemed to be outside the conversation circle, until Julia made sure he was included. Sometimes, he'd give up and go sit down somewhere with his book of maps and inventions. I wondered if Bon actually knew how to make friends.

Julia did. She was like a magnet to the other kids in her class and had quickly stopped being the new girl. People wanted to be her friend. I heard her talking about this school as though it were an interesting project she had taken on.
Why doesn't your school do this?
Or,
Why doesn't your school have this?
Julia had plans and schemes for games, activities, and the way the playground was set up, and the ideas she came up with became some of the things we talked about in class.
The little kids have jungle gyms, but what about the big kids? Can we do horseback riding for a school sport? Can we camp out in tents on the playground one night? Can we go on a field trip to the beach?

But I knew that Julia hadn't been to school wherever she had lived before, even though she seemed to know a lot about other schools and other places. She hadn't meant to tell me that, and I hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. I wondered if she had ever been to school
anywhere
. There was a mystery about Julia that I quite liked, but it bothered me, too. I wondered how much she had told Bon.

Away from Julia, Bon said not much at all. Boys would call out
Rapunzel
or
Hey, Gay Boy
;
they would sometimes bump into him on purpose or put a foot out to try to trip him. I did the same things as well, and then would ignore his blank, unblinking eyes when he stared at me. I tried not to think of it as an accusing look. But Julia always seemed to know.

One day we found Bon sitting alone on the seat outside the library, and Mason gave Bon's braid enough of a tug to make Bon cry out. When Bon stood up and tried to walk away, Lucas put a foot out to make Bon stumble. Knowing Mason was watching, I did the same thing. Bon said nothing. He simply stared at us and tried to keep walking. It was all set to happen again, until Mason said, “Uh-oh, here she comes again, Rapunzel's friend.” He made it sound like an insult.

From wherever Julia had been on the playground, she had seen what was happening and strode across.

“You guys are being bullies,” she said, standing face-to-face with Mason and Lucas. “This school has a bullying problem and you are it.”

This was greeted by
oooooh
s as Julia's statement was laughed away by Mason, Lucas, and the other boys from my class. I tried to melt into the back of the group and not be seen or heard.

“And this school,” replied Lucas, “has a busybody issue.” He pointed a finger at Julia and smirked. “And you, Julia Barrett, are it.” There was a chorus of cheers.

Julia stood her ground. “Pathetic. All of you. You think you're cool, but you're not. Ganging up like idiots. You're the dumbest boys I've ever known.”

“Like we care what you think.” Mason laughed. “You don't run the school.”

“You don't run the playground. Leave Bon alone. He's got as much right to be here as you, or anybody,” Julia replied.

“Yes,
Mom
,” Lucas sneered. “Anything you say,
Mom
.”

Then came the one thing I didn't want to happen.

“Kieran,” Julia said. It was a pointed, scolding voice. “Bon is your cousin. You should be looking out for him, not just copying what these losers are doing.”

I began to walk away. She followed.

“It's mean, Kieran. Are you that mean to anyone else?”

I stopped abruptly and faced her, wanting to ignore those pale-blue eyes, but knowing I couldn't. “No,” I admitted.

“I didn't think so,” Julia said quietly.

She turned away then. I looked down at her riding boots, watched them stepping away and standing beside Bon's sneakers, bought new by Nan. Bon's eyes found mine before he walked away with Julia.

She had just done exactly what I'd seen her do ever since the day she came to our school: be both defender and peacemaker. She was behaving as though she were Bon's older sister, or even — I realized, blinking with surprise — as though she were his mother. That thought was interrupted by my group walking over to me.

“Hey, Kieran,” Mason was the first to say in his loud, listen-to-me-everybody voice. “Rapunzel's cousin, huh? How lucky are
you
!”

“That's old news,” I muttered.

“Hold his hand, Kieran.”

“Make sure he wears his pretty hat in the cold weather.”

“Make sure he remembers his manners. Please and thank you.”

“Give him a kiss to make him feel better.”

“And a hug. He likes a hug.”

I didn't answer any of these comments, because my stomach was suddenly full of butterflies. Julia had told me another uncomfortable truth, and I wished she had said something completely different. I wished that I could be somewhere else.

The bell rang for the end of recess.

Mason used a silly girly voice to repeat one of his dumb comments, so I gave him a shove, hard enough to make him stumble backward.

“What was that for?” he said loudly. “You can't take a joke all of a sudden?”

On the way to class lines, nobody spoke to me. Trying to shrug off what had happened, I joked around a bit with Lucas and Mason. “He might be my cousin, but he's still a loser,” I told them. Lucas agreed, although Mason was still in the process of forgiving me for shoving him.

I felt caught up in the group that gave Bon a hard time, tripping him or calling him names away from where teachers could see or hear. Whenever Lucas and Mason and the others decided it was time to bother Bon for fun, I hovered at the very edges of the teasing, keeping my hands and feet to myself, staying silent and hoping that my friends wouldn't notice the difference. I wanted to imagine myself invisible and so went on ignoring Bon at school as much as possible, saying nothing whenever I saw him being chosen last for a team during gym, and pretending not to hear him when he said, “Hi, Kieran.” Which was every single morning when our paths happened to cross on the playground or on the way to class.

I heard from Mom that Bon and Aunt Renee had left the trailer park and now had a hotel room in the center of town. How much better that was I couldn't be sure, but there had been little differences I noticed about Bon over only a few weeks — the new sneakers, matching school clothes, and a winter jacket, all replacing the frayed, faded clothes he had first arrived in. I knew that Nan and Mom were the ones giving Bon all these things, all this attention. In the meantime, I went to birthday parties he wasn't invited to and was part of playground games he would always be left out of.

But I couldn't ignore the fact that Julia was his friend and protector. He went on hanging around her friends and their conversations. She walked him around the playground, the two of them nodding, talking, and, I guessed, sharing secrets. At the end of some lunch breaks, I'd see them coming out of the school library, along with the other kids who liked books or chess.

“Hi, Julia,” I'd say whenever we passed each other on the way to class lines, or were waiting near each other in the cafeteria to buy snacks. It was always an effort to say anything else to her, and I found myself hoping she would say something more in return.

But she'd always reply, “Hi, Kieran,” and give me a look I read as,
I've seen how you and your friends treat Bon. You're still not looking out for him, are you?

And at the end of some school days, I'd often see Julia and Bon stopped somewhere short of the school gates, sitting on the grass near the school office. If they weren't talking, they'd simply be sitting and watching everyone else walk by. Now that Julia often rode her bike to school, I didn't see her mom at the school gate anymore. So Bon and Julia taking their time was as though they were putting off their journeys home, to a trailer park and a hotel room.

“We should wait for Bon,” Gina would sometimes say at the gate. “He can walk with us some of the way home.”

I would shake my head. I didn't want Bon to get the idea that he was welcome to walk to or from school with us anytime he liked. Having him with us for some of the time already was more than enough. So I chose different ways to get home, along the other streets that would lead us to our own. I tried to ignore Gina's complaints about the extra hill to walk up and the scarier dogs that lived at several houses along the way. Bon could find his own way to his own home.

“I can see Bon over there,” Gina said.

“He's with his friend Julia,” I told her. “He'll be a while yet. Come on, let's go.”

“But I want him to walk with us,” she insisted.

“No, Gina. Come
on
,” I urged, watching as Julia took off on her purple bike.

Gina sighed, disappointed. “All right.”

I hurried her along a bit so that Bon wouldn't spot us and want to catch up. I led Gina the longer way, down the hilly sidewalks to the Sheridan Street shops.

“I want a snack,” Gina announced as we came to the supermarket. “Chips or gummy worms? I can't decide.”

“Only if you share,” I told her. “And it's not one of Mom's workdays, so you'll have to spend your own money.”

Gina dropped her school backpack on the sidewalk and triumphantly pulled out a coin purse. “I've got spending money.” She grinned.

“Aisle six,” I reminded her as we walked inside.

“Chips or gummy worms?” she repeated to herself as she disappeared into the aisle. “I still can't decide.”

For Gina, these decisions were never quick, so I had time to wander around a little. I stopped to look at the magazine racks.

Then I heard the voices.

“You are not getting your photo taken,” said a hushed, annoyed voice that I recognized.

“I
am.
” This time it was Julia's voice, not quite as hushed. “I haven't had a school photo for two years. You can't stop me.”

They were in the aisle right next to where I stood, and I peered along the gaps in the shelves until I could catch a glimpse of them. I couldn't see their faces, but I could see the top Julia had worn to school that day, and I recognized the silver bangle on one wrist.

Her mom wore jeans and a black jacket. “I'll keep you at home,” she said in an urgent voice.

“Huh! Home — a filthy camper!”

“I've told you the rules before. You shouldn't —”

“I'm going to school that day and every day.”

“You shouldn't even be there. I was stupid to listen to your complaining.” And her mom added, in a voice like a little kid's, “‘Oh, I'm lonely. I've got no one to play with.'”

It felt strange and unexpected to be hearing all this. From aisle six, Gina said loudly, “I'm choosing gummy worms, because the red ones are still my favorite.”

And at that very moment, I heard Julia say, “I shouldn't even be with you!”

I found Gina at the checkout, and I helped her with the coins for her gummy worms. “Wait for me outside,” I told her, and she walked out to where we'd left our schoolbags beside the supermarket doorway.

I hovered a moment more at the checkout before Julia appeared from a nearby aisle. She was empty-handed, pale with anger, and looked surprised and embarrassed to see me there.

“Hi,” she managed to say. It wasn't the confident voice I was used to hearing.

“Hi, Julia,” I said awkwardly. Behind her was her mom, who was no taller than I was. Her eyes were still hidden behind dark glasses. She held a small basket of groceries, and I probably stared at her a bit longer than was polite.

“Who are you?” she demanded.

“Kieran,” I replied quickly, feeling as though I was in trouble for something. “And that's my sister, Gina,” I added, pointing to the doorway.

“They're Bon's cousins,” Julia said.

“
Oh
.”
It was a reply loaded with recognition. “Nice to meet you.” But her voice was flat and unconvincing.

“I have to go,” I said, knowing how nervous my own voice suddenly sounded. “See you tomorrow, Julia.”

“Yeah, see you. At
school
.” The last word came out with emphasis, and Julia said it to her mom rather than to me.

It was a relief to get outside again. I was glad it wasn't one of Mom's shifts that afternoon. I could still feel Julia's mom glaring as Gina handed me a gummy worm and we set off for home. Whether the glare was meant for me or for Julia, I couldn't be sure.

I shouldn't even be with you.

I wondered why Julia had said that.

The following week, we had our annual class photographs taken. The photographers set up bleachers in the back playground, and, class by class, we lined up and watched the groups ahead of us get organized and pose. I knew that the photographer would have every group of kids saying something like
Vacation!
or
Candy!
so that everyone would be smiling as the camera clicked. The class ahead of mine was Miss McLennan's, and I spotted Bon in the second row with some other boys. He was wearing his clean, new school clothes. His hair was brushed and neatly parted, and his braid was hidden from view, except for whoever had to stand behind him.

As the photographer started giving last-minute instructions about feet together and facing this way, I suddenly realized Julia wasn't anywhere to be seen. I looked carefully along each row of kids in Miss McLennan's class, but couldn't see her. Until I turned and looked behind. Julia was by herself on one of the playground seats beneath the shade trees, watching her class being photographed. Somehow she sensed I was watching her, and she met my concerned frown with a shrug that could have meant,
I'm OK. Everything is fine.